Was this rude because the guy sure thought it was

SunofaBeach14

Who knew that basic common courtesy was so controversial?

geebusuk

(Full disclosure: My gym is in my basement...and I'm the only one who uses it.)

"bagge72" will still hate you for it .

I've chatted candidly with enough gym employees to certainly know I wouldn't want to work in your average chain-gym whatever .
I haven't worked doing heavy stuff for years on end, but have for months on end - most recently a few months moving car parts from one unit (3 levels) to another (up one story, but quite a big flight of steps.)
It was my own business so I was often working 12 hours+ a day every day of the week.
I was trying to lose weight at the time and it helped both in calories burnt/muscle maintenance and stopping me from eating because I was busy.
However, likely I have got an appropriately sturdy frame for it.

sympha01

I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!

I get so tired of defending myself cause someone dosent like my " tone" when what they really dont like is being wrong. And why do we as women always assume we did something wrong when we try to be asserative. Good for you

Damn. WELL PUT.

To all the people saying "please would have been NICE" -- sure that's true. But I think the question is whether she was WRONG to not use it. She was not. She shouldn't have had to ask the guy in the first place. He was in the wrong and he doesn't get to complain that she wasn't being self-effasive enough when she corrected him.

obsidianwings

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*. And yes, I have read that you train at home (for the record, so do I, and I also don't rerack my weights), but you are still an *kitten* for coming up with ridiculous defences for the guy who is not training at home who seems to think he was doing OP a personal favour when she asked him to follow the gyms rules.

As far as most people who are serious about the gym warming up with at least 70kg, I am 5'2" and less than 50kg, its gonna take a lot more time before I am "serious" enough to warm up with that amount. And yea, now you are going to point out that you didn't say absolutely everyone, but that just kind of nullifies your own point since you can't assume that the person after you is going to need the same weight as you at all (or for that matter that they are the same height as you even if they did need that weight). As well as the obvious wondering of if that squat rack is even free.

Yes, it may only take a minute to tidy up after one person, but if everyone became as obnoxious as you and this guy then people would have to be tidying up after others all day just to get a work out in, hence why gyms have rules for everyone to tidy up after themselves.

Aside from the fact that I shouldn't have to tidy up after others, personally I have shoulder impingement syndrome, I have enough trouble making progress in my upper body lifts as it is, without having to mess up my tendons lifting multiple 45lb plates over my head to tidy up after someone else. Yes, obviously this is a case specific to me, but there will be many other people with other reasons why that is not a good or safe idea for them.


Anyway, in response to OPs question, yeah it would've been nicer to say please, but I wouldn't call it neccesary since you shouldn't have to be asking in the first place.

jofjltncb6

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*.

Wait, what?

*sigh*

Now I have to actually read the previous five pages because I apparently missed some good stuff.

ETA: Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back. He wasn't being an *kitten*. Oh, sure, he said some stuff I disagree with, but certainly not at a level of calling him an *kitten*. He seemed reasonably levelheaded about the whole exchange too.

obsidianwings

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*.

Wait, what?

*sigh*

Now I have to actually read the previous five pages because I apparently missed some good stuff.

ETA: Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back. He wasn't being an *kitten*. Oh, sure, he said some stuff I disagree with, but certainly not at a level of calling him an *kitten*. He seemed reasonably levelheaded about the whole exchange too.

It was his opinions I found assish/obnoxious, rather than the way he put them across. Guess we will have to agree to disagree though

lighteningjeanne855

Speaking as a teacher,
I think that the utterance of TWO "thank yous",
given as he complied with your request,
covered your 'courtesy debt'.

geebusuk

Are you male or female obsidianwings? I did also specify most males.
And yes, that would exclude you either way, I'd say - certainly not the average squat-rack user at gyms I've been too! (My friend who moaned at me WAS a similar height and weight to you, by the way, though no shoulder issues... actually her bigger issue with the 20kg plates was that they were flat with a bit of an edge, while my others were 'tri grip", so she found it harder to hold as well as heavier.)
The point about 'most' was that it was made out that taking the weights off was overall 'good', while from what I've often seen, taking those last two plates off would be inconveniencing more people that it helps.

Alternatively, if everyone left the last set of plates on and a reasonable selection either side of the squat rack, it would probably save time and may well reduce wait-time at the squat rack.
People wouldn't have to be spending their time trapsing backwards and forwards to fill up the bars that someone else has just emptied.

Also amused that so many consider it ok to be rude to someone THEY see as being rude. See the same for 'bullying'... "well, yes, I was TECHNICALLY bullying them, but it doesn't matter because they were a bully first".
This is how wars start .

astronomicals

To reiterate. The equipment looks like its in use. Thus, it's not ok.

WakkoW

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*.

Wait, what?

*sigh*

Now I have to actually read the previous five pages because I apparently missed some good stuff.

ETA: Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back. He wasn't being an *kitten*. Oh, sure, he said some stuff I disagree with, but certainly not at a level of calling him an *kitten*. He seemed reasonably levelheaded about the whole exchange too.

It was his opinions I found assish/obnoxious, rather than the way he put them across. Guess we will have to agree to disagree though

I think douche (as defined here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche) is the term you're looking for.

*kitten* is a little too strong.

jofjltncb6

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*.

Wait, what?

*sigh*

Now I have to actually read the previous five pages because I apparently missed some good stuff.

ETA: Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back. He wasn't being an *kitten*. Oh, sure, he said some stuff I disagree with, but certainly not at a level of calling him an *kitten*. He seemed reasonably levelheaded about the whole exchange too.

It was his opinions I found assish/obnoxious, rather than the way he put them across. Guess we will have to agree to disagree though

I think some people's "*kitten* line" is set too low. I'll admit that mine is almost certainly set higher than average.

jofjltncb6

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*.

Wait, what?

*sigh*

Now I have to actually read the previous five pages because I apparently missed some good stuff.

ETA: Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back. He wasn't being an *kitten*. Oh, sure, he said some stuff I disagree with, but certainly not at a level of calling him an *kitten*. He seemed reasonably levelheaded about the whole exchange too.

It was his opinions I found assish/obnoxious, rather than the way he put them across. Guess we will have to agree to disagree though

I think douche (as defined here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche) is the term you're looking for.

*kitten* is a little too strong.

:laugh:

Okay, now *this*, I can get behind. I'm not entirely convinced he crossed that line either, but can certainly see a decent argument for it (as opposed to the *kitten* label which was too much (IMHO).)

jofjltncb6

And for the avoidance of doubt, I think leaving plates on a bar is at least a douchey move (and possibly an *kitten* move, depending on circumstances), even if it might save someone the time of putting plates on for their warmup. Now if a particular gym wants to do a full process efficiency study and determines that the net benefit of leaving a certain amount of weight on the bar makes sense, then awesome. Otherwise, strip your bars and put away the weights. It's likely the *right* thing to do and certainly not the *wrong* thing to do.

And I start with an empty bar for squats and bench...Every. Damn. Time. (And if I had blocks for deadlifts, I'd probably start with an empty bar for that too instead of 135.)

obsidianwings

geebusuk you are being an *kitten*.

Wait, what?

*sigh*

Now I have to actually read the previous five pages because I apparently missed some good stuff.

ETA: Well, there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back. He wasn't being an *kitten*. Oh, sure, he said some stuff I disagree with, but certainly not at a level of calling him an *kitten*. He seemed reasonably levelheaded about the whole exchange too.

It was his opinions I found assish/obnoxious, rather than the way he put them across. Guess we will have to agree to disagree though

I think douche (as defined here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche) is the term you're looking for.

*kitten* is a little too strong.

LOL!
Yeah I can agree with douche
TBH i put douche and *kitten* on about the same level anyway, but thats a pretty subjective thing :P

obsidianwings

Are you male or female obsidianwings? I did also specify most males.
And yes, that would exclude you either way, I'd say - certainly not the average squat-rack user at gyms I've been too! (My friend who moaned at me WAS a similar height and weight to you, by the way, though no shoulder issues... actually her bigger issue with the 20kg plates was that they were flat with a bit of an edge, while my others were 'tri grip", so she found it harder to hold as well as heavier.)
The point about 'most' was that it was made out that taking the weights off was overall 'good', while from what I've often seen, taking those last two plates off would be inconveniencing more people that it helps.

Alternatively, if everyone left the last set of plates on and a reasonable selection either side of the squat rack, it would probably save time and may well reduce wait-time at the squat rack.
People wouldn't have to be spending their time trapsing backwards and forwards to fill up the bars that someone else has just emptied.

Also amused that so many consider it ok to be rude to someone THEY see as being rude. See the same for 'bullying'... "well, yes, I was TECHNICALLY bullying them, but it doesn't matter because they were a bully first".
This is how wars start .

I am a female, but you missed the point. The point being in a gym you have no idea who is going to use it after you, whether they be male or female, weak or strong, shorter or taller than you, injured or not, or what they like to warm up with. The general consensus in here seems to suggest you would be wrong about what "most men" warm up with anyway.
Most gyms have a rule about this, and it is pretty clear that OPs gym is one of those gyms.

For the record, I wouldn't moan at anyone in their own home about their equipment I was using for free,I think thats a bit cheeky of your friend, but most people pay to go to a gym to train, not to tidy up after other people.

geebusuk

I didn't miss that you don't know who was going to use it afterwards, a made a case for it being more beneficial for more people to have the plates in question left ON. As it seemed this was some of the basis of the argument for taking them off.

Also it only BECAME clear about this 'rule' in OP's gym after she made them put a poster up detailing it, it would seem.
When I've seen such posters spring up at a previous gym I used (it didn't really change anything), I'm now wondering if it was a customer who complained and what sex said customer was .

Noting warm up weight, it was of course my experience and 'ymmv'. I have tried warming up with just the bar, but it doesn't seem worth it for me - 20kg isn't a significant amount extra and going up the long flight of stairs has probably done as much. A couple of months ago I was pleased to find that 70kg didn't feel like THAT much, but after being on a deficit for a couple of months it's certainly more noticeable now unfortunately!

Oh and being English, your two insults don't really work - if you're going to find an appropriate insult, at least find it in the right language .

(Also, I'm not sure if I've actually even stated an opinion per se, merely provided a counter argument to some of the points. Pretty sure I haven't stated what I would do in such a situation.)

obsidianwings

TBH you hit it right on the head with the 'ymmv" comment. Everyone does vary in what their set up is thats kind of the point. Thats why you tidy up after yourself so the next person can do their set up and then tidy up after themselves and so on.
It may not have been obvious about the rule in OPs gym until the sign was there (although I would argue that 99% of people know thats general gym courtesy), how does that make it ok to ignore the sign once it was there? You can guess about the sex of who asked for a sign to be put up all you want, but you will find most males like people to rerack to.

I'm stepping out now because this is all kinds of facepalm tbh and I can't be bothered reiterating the same points over again for you to come up with an argument that doesn't really make sense in the context at all.

missomgitsica

Sounds to me like he was embarrassed being caught out for not doing the right thing.

This!

futurejedi

sounds like he is a young teenager, who hasn't had to deal with the old school gym rules

Natmarie73

I made a suggestion in my gym the other week that maybe they put up a sign in front of the squat rack about taking the weights off after you've finished which they did which is brilliant !

But today I was using the chest fly machine waiting for the squat rack to be free as there was a youngish guy using it. He had 25kg plates on both sides. Anyways, he did a set and then started to walk away so I said and this is exactly how it went:

"Are you done with that?"
"Yes, why?"
"Could you take the weights of it"
"Why?"
"Well there's a sign asking you too and it's not very nice for someone else to come too if that's not a weight they can't use"
"What if the next person wants to use that weight"
"Well I'm using it next and I can't squat that weight"

So he reluctantly walks back and as he is taking off weights on one side I said thanks, then he walked round and did the other side and again before he was done lifting the weight off I said thanks very much. As he starts walking off he snidely turns and says something which I didn't hear so said excuse me, and he goes "a please would have been good"

I just thought what is that guys problem? Then I thought did I approach that situation wrong ? I NEVER speak up and I don't know what came over me today, the words were sort of out of my mouth before I thought about it and yes I'll admit I could have said "could you take the weights off it PLEASE" but I didn't think I was rude, or in the wrong for that matter!!!

The only necessary reply to that would be "Putting them back without being asked in the first place would have been good too". Sarcastic sneer optional :laugh: