How to Foil a Telemarketer

1PatientBear

I generally either just give the phone to my four-year-old and let him talk or I sit the phone down next to the TV and turn on Yo Gabba Gabba (or some equally annoying show). I know y'all have GOT to have some better ideas. How do you screw with telemarketers?

Lemmy_Gonau

I'm kind of a romantic and I know that everyone likes to be serenaded at least once in their life so the kids and I sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time to them.

BigBadDougs

I tend to just say " no thanks, bye " - seems to work. I doubt they enjoy their job, but everyone has bills to pay.

jkowula

I pretty much just say "sorry, can you hang on for a second?" then just set the phone down on the television and wait for them to hang up. Time is money, so if it ever became non profitable, the calls would stop.

rowlandsw

We either hang up on them or remind them we're on the do not call registry.

dietcoke281

I tend to not screw with people just trying to make a living. They probably hate calling you as much as you hate them calling you.

ninerbuff

Best one I've heard is pretend you're a detective and say "Hold on..................boys make sure you take lots of pictures. Now who is this and what is your relationship to the deceased victim here?"

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Lrdoflamancha

I just set the phone down and walk away. Someone eventually will answer it and waste their time....

Therealobi1

If i tell them i am unemployed that usually ends the call.

tquill

I tend to not screw with people just trying to make a living. They probably hate calling you as much as you hate them calling you.

+1

madhatter2013

After they ask for me by name which they usually can't pronounce I just say "she's passed away" and hang up. I used to work in call centers, telemarketing and collections, and YES we do hate our jobs. They tend to make you feel like a rotten person with some of those scripts and rebuttels.

sewerchick93

i tell them the owners of the house aren't home right now, but after I'm done ransacking the place, I'll be sure to leave a note saying you called.

usmcmp

I tell them to hold on a second, set the phone down and walk away. They take my name off the list and I don't get those calls anymore.

pzacher68

Because they are good about starting right in with their name, I repeat back to them, "Good Morning Abigail from American Homeless Veterans. Can I please speak with your supervisor? See I am on the National "Do Not Call Registry" and you have violated the terms of the agreement and thereby I am notifying you, Abigail, that you will be named as a plaintiff in the harassment suit. I will also need to speak to your supervisor, can you please connect me to them?" And then D R A G it out as long as possible.

ItsMeGee3

That's when I hand the phone to my grandkids and let them talk!

Justifier

I don't usually answer the phone when I don't recognize the number. I also wouldn't want to screw with someone just doing their job, but they might appreciate the funny story?

SyntonicGarden

For starters, if I don't recognize the number, I answer the phone in Korean or Polish. If it's legit, I'll put them on hold so that I can go get myself from the other room.

If it's someone calling for a donation (Thanks, Caller ID) I'm usually very nice. They're trying to put food on their table. I politely say "No thank you."

If it's a pushy sales person who doesn't let me get a word in edgewise, I use a long pause after they stop and then say "No English." Seems to work.

jkowula

Because they are good about starting right in with their name, I repeat back to them, "Good Morning Abigail from American Homeless Veterans. Can I please speak with your supervisor? See I am on the National "Do Not Call Registry" and you have violated the terms of the agreement and thereby I am notifying you, Abigail, that you will be named as a plaintiff in the harassment suit. I will also need to speak to your supervisor, can you please connect me to them?" And then D R A G it out as long as possible.

Brillilant!

Therealobi1

I tend to not screw with people just trying to make a living. They probably hate calling you as much as you hate them calling you.

+1

sorry -1.
Its my telephone number and I didnt invite a stranger to offer me another mobile phone that I do not need.

BigBadDougs

Because they are good about starting right in with their name, I repeat back to them, "Good Morning Abigail from American Homeless Veterans. Can I please speak with your supervisor? See I am on the National "Do Not Call Registry" and you have violated the terms of the agreement and thereby I am notifying you, Abigail, that you will be named as a plaintiff in the harassment suit. I will also need to speak to your supervisor, can you please connect me to them?" And then D R A G it out as long as possible.

Is that not more of a waster of your time than the call would have been?

salembambi

be nice to them because they work a ****ty job and are probably all serial killers