Potty training nightmare. Any suggestions?
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http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
This woman potty trains for a living. I used her book when training my child and it was AMAZING. I can't say enough good things about it or recommend her enough. She also offers online and phone support which comes in very handy. She debunks a LOT of myths surrounding potty training and points out that it's a developmental thing and to approach it that way.
Good luck!!!!0 -
My daughter's favorite cartoon was Dora, so we got here some Dora under wear and told her if she got her wet should would be mad.
She was two and a half, it worked. (plus she hated being messy, blessing there)
My son is almost four and being incredibly stubborn. I've tried the Thomas the train under wear bit on him... not much help.
So, like everyone else seems to be saying keep trying till you find their "thing" that works, that at the proper time should work.
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my son was HARD- 3.5-at the store in an aisle-no joke! He was an only child so he didn't have examples. Other kids are great examples......0
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This may be wrong, but my daughter was 2 yrs and two wks old and completely potty trained with min reese's cups. She knew every time she went to pee or poop she was rewarded with her favorite candy. Sugar you say is bad, but I say it saved me in diapers cost.
This is what I did with my son and he was fully trained in 3 days, except we used popsicles instead of reese's cups. The extra fluids made my son have to go pee more often. So he got in a lot of practice, and practice made perfect. Also, we didn't do pull-ups or anything like that. He just wore the flimsy terry-cloth undies around the house, and we made a big deal of it every time he went in the potty. He was 2 years old. My daughter is 20 months now, and I am NOT looking forward to training her. I've been told the same thing.. that girls are easier to train. But my daughter is a lot more strong-willed than my son. I wish you luck!0 -
Don't give her diapers anymore. Undies cold turkey.
This0 -
Stickers and a potty chart. And her favorite candy she can ONLY have when she goes potty. Worked like a charm!0
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Candy, TV, and persistence. Also celebrate like a MO when she goes.0
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She won't use the potty but will she wear underwear? If so, take her out and let her pick out some fun undies. Put her in them and if she wets them, which she likely will, explain that big girl undies can't hold pee and she has to hold it until she gets to a potty. Or it could make her hate undies and want to stay in diapers.:laugh:
The above worked for us but I've heard the opposite from others. The other thing that worked for us, which our ped recommended was letting her pick out a potty (we did NOT want one of those little potties; we just wanted a seat for the regular toilet and a step stool, but little wouldn't go for that) and putting it wherever we spend most of our time. So she picked out a pink potty, covered it in Sesame Street stickers, and it sat in our living room on a towel. We weren't crazy about the idea but it worked. She was so busy that she hated going to the bathroom and having the potty close by solved that. Only took 2 days of training for her to master it and then she was all for going to the bathroom b/c she didn't want to have an accident.
Other than that, try not to push her. Start referring to pee/poop in her diaper/pull up as accidents, but don't shame her for them. Just say something like "accidents happen. Lets see if you can make it to the potty next time. Good try." or something like that. She might look at you like you're crazy b/c she really wasn't trying but it'll start too click and she'll catch on. Good luck, mama.
ETA the most important part. If she tries to go on the potty (even if it doesn't happen) and especially if she actually goes, or even if she stays dry for a period of time, celebrate, celebrate, CELEBRATE.0 -
I've potty trained my daughter recently, and it was pretty easy. She'll be 3 in May. I started off months ago just letting her have a wee in the potty before her bath and getting her used to it, and then recently we just told her she was wearing knickers now, no more nappies, and that was it! She had accidents for a couple of days, but after a few days she started taking herself off to the bathroom, having a wee, pulling her clothes back up and washing her hands! She'll happily have a poo too. She's had a few nights without a nappy, but we decided to stick to nappies at night as she was waking up some mornings and wetting herself.
My son, who's nearly 5 now, wasn't potty trained until just after he was 3, because he wasn't ready for it. It didn't take long though, as he was ready. He still wore nappies at night until after he was 4, and he was still asking for a nappy when he needed a poo until after he was 4.
My third is due in 5.5 weeks, so it's nice to have a few nappy free weeks lol.0 -
I backed off and let him decide when he was ready. Once HE was ready, we hardly had any accidents.0
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My daughter was potty trained at 2 1/2. We went cold turkey, straight from diapers to "big girl" underwear, and made really good headway over the course of just a weekend. She was somewhat familiar with the potty but by no means using it regularly. I'll shamelessly admit to bribery with M & M's and miscellaneous little trinkets from the dollar store. My husband and I cheered her on like fools at every successful attempt! The potty chart idea is also great, we didn't use it at home but the day care my daughter attends had one and I know that helped, too.0
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Also, a friend of mine said that she potty trained her daughter over a weekend by having her run around naked all the time. So the options were to either go potty on the toilet, or on herself. After that, she had it down.0
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I read the book "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day". It took about a week actually, but the cliff notes to the book are you throw them a potty training party. First half of the day is devoted to teaching their dolly how to potty train. Second half of the day you focus on teaching your little one. You incorporate a sticker chart and reward system. Most important thing is you make it seem like the most exciting thing EVER. After the day is over you throw out the diapers and have them wear their big girl panties from then on. Worked for my little girl at 2 1/2.0
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Used the 3 day potty training method for both kids (girl aged 2 and boy aged 2.5). Inbox me with your e-mail and I can send you the pdf.0
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There's a fine line with kids and potty training I think. Wait too long and they'll outsmart you. Both of mine were smart enough to do it, they knew it and so did I. When I'd had enough I just put them in underwear and said make a mess if you wish. I never had trouble with either of them once I did it. Our son had to wear a pull up at night, but our daughter was fine from the get go.0
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Aren't kids and how different they all are just grand??
I have 2 kids-my oldest is a girl and she was easier.....but then again it seemed to take a long time because she showed interst at an early age (18 months or so), wanted to sit on the potty all the time but never DID anything. So it was a lot of actively trying and then taking a break, then trying again. We did the sticker chart and lots of praise. It wasn't until she was about 2.5 yr old, and after a playdate in which her friend went potty, that she decided she wanted to do it for real. It still took another 2-3 months for #2 in the potty. Instead if she felt like she had to go she would bring us a diaper and say "mommy, put my diaper on, I have to poo-poo." For that we started using a reward bin- everytime she actually went #2 in the potty, she could choose an item from the bin. Her favorite and what seems to be her best motivator? Fake tattoos!
My neice didn't really get fully PT until after 3; my sister was frustrated and embarrassed to tell the doctor at the 3 yr well check, but the doc told not to stress about it, that there is NO rule of when a kids HAS to be PT by 3 yrs old. (there are rules however to move up classes in daycare, participate in gymnastics, and go to VPK and kindy, unless there are special circumstances)
My son is a little over 2.5 now and I have a feeling he won't be PT until this summer. Good god I hope by this summer.0 -
the first one I stressed a lot, while she got through lots of pairs of knickers and i had to clean a lot of messes off the floor and wash a lot of "big girl knickers"
the second one I didn't stress, I kept her in nappies longer, kind of mentally putting off toilet training, and then when she was 3 she wanted big girl knickers, and I told her that she'd have to use the toilet. She had one accident in big girl knickers, realised that I was serious about the toilet thing and she pretty much toilet trained herself overnight.
What they say about waiting until they're mature enough to get it is true. don't stress, if she's not ready now maybe try again in six months. (and what constitutes mature enough varies from child to child... it's not just about getting it mentally, their bladder needs to be mature enough as well to be able to hold it in)0 -
I have one of each, 8 and 5, with another girl on the way. Both my kids loved Elmo's Potty Time and had a reward system. It's amazing what a chart and some stickers will do! I also took the portable DVD player into the restroom and let them watch Elmo while they sat. It seemed to relax them enough they let it go.0
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Mother of 5 here, three boys and two girls. First of all, you cannot confuse them. You cannot go back and forth between diapers (pull-ups) and regular undies. If you are potty training, it's undies all the way. No plastic pants either (if they still sell them). When I was ready to potty train them, I would tell them I wasn't buying any more diapers. This was the last one. After that it was undies. All were potty trained before they were two and no accidents.
I know that every child is different, but my daughter used the same method with her son and it was a done deal with no accidents.0 -
Don't give her diapers anymore. Undies cold turkey.
+1 Maybe she'll get tired of wet panties clinging to her bottom.0 -
Some kids respond well to being told not to grow up and be a big boy/girl. That you want them to be your little baby forever. If reverse psychology works well with her for other things, it might with this too. My little girl was easy after a couple setbacks (got sick right at the start the first time and clung to the diapers for a while after that). My little boy showed early interest and then decided he didn't like it. Now at 3.5 he's doing fairly well durning the day but wears diapers at night because he just can't seem to go through the night yet.0
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I potty trained both of my boys pretty easily, but before I had them, I was a therapist for Autistic kids. Trained maybe 10-12 kids before that. Plain and simple - if the kid doesn't want to do it, you have to make the reward really awesome. Hold back favorite toys/treats unless she goes. Like other people have said, take her to the store and let her pick out big girl panties. Let her pick out a toy (with my boys we got something in the $30 range...something cool, not just a $5 present.) She gets the big toy when she goes a week without an accident.
Some kids prefer sitting on the big potty, some like their own chair. It's weird, but just letting them choose where to sit can make a huge difference.
But the biggest thing - no diapers. Why would she go if she's in diapers/pullups? There is zero incentive. They do NOT like to be wet. Even the ones that don't care about the mess as much don't like having to stop what they're doing to get cleaned up. It's messy. But it works.
Good luck.
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I tried at 3 with my girl...she wasn't ready. About 3 1/2 it was much easier. Like others have said I think you have to find what works for each kid, when they are ready, they get it.0
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Bribe him. Tell him you'll get him any pack undies he wants IF he will not soil them.
Also, for some reason my cousin's boys learned form each other. The oldest would just be like "Here, I'll show you how to do it. Then you can do it."0 -
They won't go to kindergarden in diapers. We talk about it and try it out with small bribes... but I never force them (2.5 and 3.5). My ex and I separated when my oldest was a little over 2 and doing pretty well. She then refused to go anymore. I let it be.. still offering and encouraging, but never forcing. One day she just decided to go on the big potty and its been fine since. My little is sometimes interested. I go with the flow.
My ex forces them and they cry and scream and are very stressed about it. In my opinion, it isn't worth getting upset over. When my little wants a clean diaper after every little pee, I tell her no. That she has to start going on the potty to be dry all the time and she can wait a little while. It's a sorta sneaky way of making potty training be the positive of being able to be dry.0 -
Try putting some blue food coloring in the potty and let her see that peeing on it magically turns it green.
buy panties for her that have her fav thing or character on them.
put a poster in the bathroom and every time she goes potty let her put a sticker on the chart.
get a book of temporary tattoos and let her wear one when she sits on the potty0 -
You know what's funny? I was so tired and beat during that phase...I can't actually remember how I did it! I came here thinking 'hey, I had 4 kids in under 2 years, got 'em all potty trained, I'll have some advice' and when I started trying to think of what I actually did all those many years ago (ages are 20, 19, 18, and 18 now), I couldn't think of anything!
I know I had a little kids' potty, that I encouraged them to do it, that I used tons of pull-ups...and I think the oldest was about 3ish when I started? I know I had 4 in diapers for 6 months to a year. I think the others were sooner....and then for awhile I didn't go anywhere that didn't have an easy bathroom nearby, LOL. I think I kept pullups for awhile at night and for really long car rides too. I didn't force them or have any special games or anything, I know that - it was just more info (age appropriate) and rewards like watching a video (Disney singalong vids were way popular in my house in the late 90s, lol).
Good luck! On the upside, what you can take from this is that it passes eventually 0 -
I think every kid is different. It may be that your little girl needs to stay a little girl a little longer, it may be that she doesn't have as much control over her bladder as the boy's did, it may be that she is so preoccupied with something that she doesn't even notice when she needs to go.
Also, I think sometimes 3 is such a "busy" time for them....that potty training at that age is more than they can manage.
It may be just something you need to let go of for 2 months or so, just leave the potty out so she can use it when she wants to. I found the more I pushed and pleaded, the less he wanted to use the potty.
Also, you might want to try www.babycenter.com for more ideas.0 -
Don't give her diapers anymore. Undies cold turkey.
^ this, has to be really uncomfortable for some kids. Plan a time when you can devote to doing it - just switch to underwear and regularly put them on the toliet. A reward system can also work good - but don't reward " a good try", rewards only if they "deliver" .
Good Luck!0 -
Being pregnant with my second made potty training my first very easy. I had to pee a million times a day, so she went with me. She sat on hers, I sat on mine. Even if nothing came out she was forming the habit.
There were quite a few times when she would insist she did not have to go, but I knew she did because of how much she'd had to drink. I would grab a book, let her sit on the big pot while I sat on the floor, and let her know that I was going to read. I told her that while it was okay if she sat for a few minutes and nothing came out, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not fart because that is just to stinky for me to smell when I am reading. She would instantly get this sneaky little look on her face, and when I would begin to read she would try to fart--which of course relaxed all the right muscles and she would pee. I would look completely surprised and say, "I thought you said you didn't have to pee!? You tricked me!!" And she would laugh and giggle at how she had "tricked me".
My daughter was 19 months old when her sibling was born, and she was in underwear fulltime by the time she was 2.0
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