Please help!

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Deipneus

Report the sexual assault that he just perpetrated. I doubt you were the first and only. Seriously doubt it. He has probably been doing it for years, and now gets away with it because he's seen as a harmless old man.

It's illegal for a reason. You were the victim of a sexual assault.

I'm astounded that I had to read this many pages of responses before someone FINALLY responded that sexual assault is a police matter.

paperpudding

OP, can you speak with a counselor about this before doing anything?

Yes I know it is a criminal offence but realistically there is not going to be any evidence to prosecute so I dont think reporting to police would help.

I also think the man may be acting out of character (as you say you have known him a long time and he has never been like this before) if he has been sick, he may have brain damage from a stroke or early dementia.

A counselor can help you deal with your feelings from this and also feelings that it dredged up about your previous rape as well as help you move forward, how to approach your husband, etc.

I think it would be much better to handle this with professional support than trying to go it alone.

danasings

I would love to talk to my husband about this, but sometimes he isn't very understanding on things, somehow I'm afraid he will think this is all my fault.

You have a more serious problem than getting felt up by a 70 yr old man.

This was my first thought.

Wow. I hope you take some of the excellent advice here and tell this man, in no uncertain terms, that what he did was NOT okay. He violated you. You are a human being, and you deserve to be treated with respect...but you have to make that choice to allow yourself to think of yourself that way.

Good luck, OP. I truly wish you the best. ((Hug))

danasings

Just hypothetically... What would you do if he had done this to your daughter? Picture what you would do... Now do the same to stick up for yourself!

Also excellent advice.

Of anyone were to lay a hand on either one of my children in a harmful way, he/she would end up my my foot on his/her throat.

SunofaBeach14

He crossed a very distinct line. It is true that he may be going mentally, but that is for the police, not you, to try and determine.

EvgeniZyntx

I would love to talk to my husband about this, but sometimes he isn't very understanding on things, somehow I'm afraid he will think this is all my fault.

You have a more serious problem than getting felt up by a 70 yr old man.

This was my first thought.

Wow. I hope you take some of the excellent advice here and tell this man, in no uncertain terms, that what he did was NOT okay. He violated you. You are a human being, and you deserve to be treated with respect...but you have to make that choice to allow yourself to think of yourself that way.

Good luck, OP. I truly wish you the best. ((Hug))

Assaulting a woman in a public work place suggests that a few inhibitions have gone south. I would suggest that before confronting him you discuss with someone in your workplace that you were groped. There is no shame to what happened to you, it is not your fault. It is an illegal act and an emotional one, I hope getting it out helps. By mentioning it to a coworker or manager, you should be able to get backup when/if you decide to speak with him. He probably should be barred from entering.

The fact that you were assaulted and feel you can't talk to anyone is very common and possibly wrong. When my daughter was assaulted (in circumstances where many a person would have blamed her for putting herself in danger) she reached out to me immediately and openly. It saddens me that more than a few persons found this exceptional or others, having gone through similar situations, felt they had no one to talk to. Find the person of support.

If needed, prepare you discussion and couch it in clear terms. "Something awful happened to me. I want to share it because I need your support. Your support means that you will stand behind me in what I decide and how I decide to handle it. Nothing more, nothing less." .... Or however you want to prep the discussion.

You are not to blame. The hand that groped you was not put there by you. Even if you had stood there in the skimpiest of outfits, or had been passed out drunk, assault is not ok.

No.

Oh, and report it - this guy needs the fear of the law, to get some closure for you and to protect others.

And if your husband reacts poorly and blames you in anyway, try to educate him. An assault is a cusp moment, are you going to live with that as a hidden thing?