Feeling really guilty

rainydays5

Aw, I know how you feel. But if you recognize that it is ok and you can still continue on this journey then you won't quit. For several months, I would have a cheat day and end up having a cheat week. Now I do not feel as guilty about what I eat even if I do fall off the wagon so it usually just a cheat meal or a cheat snack. Usually they are not even as bad as I would think they would be either.

MikeCopa

Not sure if this helps you but I know exactly how you feel.
I had my refeed day last saturday. I'm slowly reversing out of my diet right now so my metabolism sits at roughly 1800 calories. For the last refeed day I estimated about 2500 calories which was my TDEE before I started to cut. However, I had a huge binge that day and instead of eating 2500 calories, which is 700 more than average, I ate almost 5000 haha!
I felt so frickin' guilty the next couple of days but the weight peals of again pretty quickly (mostly water weight). Right now I'm barely above my lowest weigh-in and that was by far the craziest binge I ever had. So fret not, failure is natural and everything will be cool again after a day or two! ;D

brosis85

Hey there! I have changed my diet and exercise over a year ago!
I have really great weeks, and not so great weeks! I have spent a lot of money on a nutritionist and one of the things he mentioned is don't call it a 'cheat' day. That implies that you are doing something bad ... and you actually are doing something good for your body! Call it a treat day Also, if you are starting a new program, I would suggest trying to go 14-21 days without a cheat to really get yourself in the routine of clean eating and feeling so great that you wont want to go overboard when you allow yourself the treat! Good luck!!

Hearts_2015

The loudest part of your post to me, OP, is this feeling of "guilt." You may want to check in with yourself and your expectations of weight loss, how you view yourself, what you assume behavior change must look like, and your internally-held sense of punishment. Many heavy people have internalized messages about shame, and we can allow the punishing voice inside our heads to drown out both hope AND reason. It's best to check in with those inner messages early on and find a kinder way to handle the many hiccups that will accompany any behavior change efforts.

To me, here's a reasonable approach to your perhaps unintentional calorie splurge. Account for it. Document it in your food tracker, knowing that you can't be precise about what you ate. Resist the urge to low-ball your numbers--you'll find a wide range of calories and macros in the many "burrito" entries on MFP. If you knew your burritos were pretty cheesy, or smothered with guac and sour cream, do your best to account for those calories and fats. Put it all in your tracker.

And do it again the next day.

Behavior change is an ongoing process, and it starts with choosing which singular behavior you're going to change and a means to document that behavior. One of the easiest entry points for behavior change tracking here on MFP is dutiful use of the food tracker. Whatever you eat, however you feel about what you ate, document it. Every single day.

Over time, you'll find yourself more aware of your food choices BEFORE you eat. You may even start testing out what you'd like to eat by putting it into the tracker FIRST, and go from there.

But be a little gentler with yourself. Be firm in your commitment to track your food, and more realistic in your expectations of your behavior change. Stick to tracking as your first step, and you will likely add in additional changes as you go along.

Hang in there.

nicely written, glad you shared this, it could be helpful to so many of us.

aka_Kamalevantis

Hi Hun,

Don't panic, you haven't failed, let yourself down, screwed up or even gone off the rails.... You've only just started on your journey and that means everything is a learning curve....

So you ate a bit more than your calorific allowance, but tomorrow is another day, therefore counteract today's over eat, by eating less tomorrow.... People put way too much emphasis on the "perfect calorie balance" and then panic when their numbers don't add up....

Take it from someone who has lost 62kg (133lb) that calories are not an exact science, they are just numbers that give us an indication or how much nutrition we are putting in our faces, sometimes my calories are way under and I gain a weight, and other times I can eat too many calories and lose weight.... Your body is a machine, but it is not a perfect machine, your calorific usage with be determined by hormone levels, time of day, water intake and other environmental factors.

Just chalk this down to experience, you cannot fail at weight loss as long as you're still trying, the only time your weight loss endeavor will fail, is when you quit trying....

xXx

lthames0810

Two things:

It seems that you know not to let one day of off-plan eating derail your efforts, but a while ago I read an analogy for this situation that really stuck with me. It was about a flat tire. If you got a flat tire on your car, you wouldn't say "what the heck, my ride is ruined anyway" and flat the other three tires. You would fix the flat (I would call AAA) and keep going.

The other thing: The way you eat to lose weight is not hugely different that the way you will eat to maintain. While finding your way to eat right, it's important to also find your way to live your life while eating right.

PS: I'm of the age when the people I love are starting to be taken away from me. I will never again be able to have lunch with my dad, so that part or your post made me smile. That was totally worth going off plan for, IMO.

AbsolutelyAnnie

We learn and grow from every step, whether forward or backward.

Over my life (53 years) I have learned that feeling guilty is only beneficial for about 5 minutes.

It is an emotional flag that helps me recognize I need to do something different and make amends if my poor decision harmed someone else in any way. Beyond that, feeling guilty is unhelpful. And if it insists on persisting I ignore it until it slinks off into a corner and leaves me alone. I forgive myself, rededicate myself, and keep going.

karri82

Don't feel bad I had a cheat day that lasted 2 weeks, main thing is you get back on track. You really shouldn't feel guilty after all it is only a diet / lifestyle change and these things don't happen overnight, it took a while to get into the habit of eating unhealthily so it will take a while to get into the habit of changing that :-)