Do you tell friends and family?

lifegoeson25

So my question: do you tell friends and family that you are trying to lose weight/losing weight?
How do they react?
How do you deal with bad comments?

I only told one friend and she has been really supportive. I am kind of afraid to tell more friends/family.

Thank you!

lauren3101

I told my partner, because I tell him (almost) everything.

My family and friends I didn't, mainly because I'd tried to lose weight so many times before I didn't want everyone to know in the event of another possible failure. They it became obvious I was losing weight, and I'm glad to say they've been very supportive.

As for dealing with bad comments, you have to let them wash over you. A lot of people think they know best when it comes to weight loss, some worry, some mean well. But you are doing it for you, no-one else. Just don't forget that.

mcibty

I didn't feel the need to advertise it, but of course people will notice your eating/drinking/exercising habits change, and of course, how you look.

Never had a bad comment. Annoying ones, sure, but you eventually just roll your eyes and moan about it on MFP.

girldownsouth

I lost a couple of stone a few years ago, and would tell my mum how I'd got on after weigh ins. She told everyone and I'd get really embarrassed when people commented as said about it, because I felt with how much I had to lose it didn't really notice. This time, I started on ww a couple of years ago, and was telling my mum then, but told her I didn't like her telling everyone, I know she was just proud of me, but it made me uncomfortable. I stalled quite a lot, but didn't regain with various things that happened last year and the year before, so I stopped telling anyone the result of every weigh in. I stopped ww and came on here in Jan and have started making real progress, but don't really talk about it. Now, the only people I've told that I've actually now lost 3 stone since may 2012 are people on here and my boyfriend. If people ask, or if we're generally chatting about stuff I'll tell them I'm on mfp, but even when people comment that I've lost weight, I'll just say something like, yes, I'm getting on quite well with this, or something, never how much. This is making me a lot happier, and I like having friends on here that I can celebrate a loss with but not feel uncomfortable.

amblight

I told my roommate and parents that I was trying to cut down on rice/bread/pasta etc., since I didn't find them particulary interesting or filling, so they weren't worth the calories for me... My theory was, that I wouldn't fill in with as much of other foods to substitute it (and I was right - my carbs are going down, down, down, but I'm not going up on the other macros). I told them this, since it's kind of relevant if I cook for them or they cook for me (which we do a lot)

Other than that, I maintained not telling anyone for while, since I don't like it if people comment on my weight or eating habits, not even if it's positive, as I find it sort of private.. But after a while, my parents noticed my loss everytime I went to visit them (I do so about every other or third week), so I told them then that I was counting calories etc. and how much I had lost. Since then, my brother has come to me because he wanted to lose some pounds before going on a triathlon in the alps, and we then discovered that we weighed the same, so we've set up a bet: The one who has lost the least by easter (which is when he'll go on his triathlon), will have to pay for a meal at a Michelin restaurant

So my family has been very supportive, though I have told them that I do not like to get too many comments on my loss, and I don't like it if they bring up my weight or eating to me or other people... They almost respect that. So it's ok.

My roommate, not so much. Well, maybe that's unfair, she is cool with me cutting down pasta and such, and if I want to buy something slightly more expensive than discount brand to save calories (we share food budget). And if she's doing the shopping, she knows to get the low fat milk, and the tuna in water etc. for me. But here the other day, she went on a massive rant about how stupid it was to weigh food, because surely overweight people KNOW how much is too much, but just choose to go over because they like the food. Surely they don't need a scale to know that eating a BUCKET of chicken is crazy etc. I tried to tell her that, of course, it's easy to know that you are eating too much, your weight will tell you so, but how much is actually 'correct' for you can be very difficult to know. She just shook her head and sighed at 'those people' who are just 'idots' for not knowing what a normal portion is. So yeah, I don't really tell her I'm trying to lose weight, and she seems not to notice.

I think she got something to think about here the other day though, because she came to me (since I study nutrition), to ask if she had been eating too little today (she struggles with being underweight), and when I calculated her calories for the day, it exceeded 2500calories. She seemed to have a lot to think about afterwards. She had been eating very little, gram wise, but it was very calorie dense foods, and I hope that made her realize some things about why it's not always easy for overweight people either to guess correctly on how much they are eating.

pyrowill

Why wouldn't you tell friends and family that you are trying to better yourself. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

saraovoxo

Everyone knows that I've become kind of a health/gym nut now, but no one has criticised me at all. In fact I made 4 friends join the gym and everyones making better choices only because I started to.

I recently put together some progress pictures and showed my family & some close friends and if anything they are inspired!

My mom sometimes cause be a total ***** about it but that's her problem.
Trust me, do this for yourself and no one else. Soon everyone will see how accomplished you've become on your journey and praise you.

Also, I think the more people you tell, the more motivated you will be to keep up the work!

Sharon_C

No, I don't volunteer the information.I figure its no one's business but mine. If they ask if I've lost weight I'll say yes. Only if they ask how do I tell them I log my calories and work out. Usually if I go into more detail their eyes glaze over so I give them the bare minimum.

frangrann

No, I don't volunteer the information.I figure its no one's business but mine. If they ask if I've lost weight I'll say yes. Only if they ask how do I tell them I log my calories and work out. Usually if I go into more detail their eyes glaze over so I give them the bare minimum.

Besides driving my husband crazy, I don't say much either. No one else is really interested.

SunofaBeach14

Hell no. They obviously figured it out eventually and many offered well meaning advice. I changed the subject. There is no way to politely tell someone who is seriously overweight and insisting that this or that fad diet is the THE WAY to go that they're just wrong. The one exception to that is my wife, but she and I work out and review fitness and health information together.

My best advice is from Madagascar: "Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."

gagnon9691

I only told one person and that was only because he brought up what he was doing first. Other than that I won't tell anyone. Even if someone asks me if I have lost any weight I will say no and walk away because I don't like talking about it.

19TaraLynn84

I tell my family. They are all supportive. I have a sister and a cousin losing weight, as well, so that helps. I do NOT tell anyone else! Everyone else I know are always using the latest fads and trying to get everyone else to use them, too. I had one person see me logging calories from a cookie and laugh at me. I think I will just wait until the difference is noticeable to others and then I'll tell them about this archaic method of weight loss. Lol!

Ashes_To_Beast

I waited 90 days in, that way their was some progress to be seen and I knew by then I was commited and I wouldn't jinx myself.

Malibooyah4

I put it all out there for everyone to know. I generally only surround myself with people who truly care for me, as much as I can help it, so I usually don't deal with bad comments. There are people who don't understand and so we just don't go there. Also, I've been able to inspire other people to start working out and eating right and that feels good. The more you talk about it, the more likely you are to empower someone else!!

sun_fish

I told a few close family members (who both had previously lost weight calorie counting) but other than that, no. At some point it became obvious, and people would ask about it. I always try to minimize it and change the subject. Partly because I am a little embarrassed I was so fat, but also no one is interested in hearing I lost weight by maintaining a calorie deficit. They only want to hear about it if you did a crazy expensive diet plan or fad diet.

bobbijodmb

I have been open with my friends and family since pretty much the beginning which (for me) has been one of the best decisions I have made. I found that it helped me keep myself accountable and was easy for them to help support me.

I have found some people along the way who haven't been the most supportive, but they dont need to be. I just keep doing me

hennaj22

I tell everyone. The more people that know the more people you have to hold you accountable. Some people are posting on here saying that they didn't want to tell anyone in case they got off track or gave up. I have read lots of articles on weight loss and one that really stuck with me gave tips on how to lose 100lbs and keep it off. Here is the article:
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Lose-100-Pounds-and-Keep-it-Off-For-Life/step1/Prepare-Yourself-Mentally-for-Weight-Loss/

The part of it the article that stuck with me the most:

"If you are going to do this, the first thing I suggest is to make a point of mentioning it to everyone you know. Tell them what you're doing and what your goal is so that you get asked about your progress constantly. Post it on your Facebook and Twitter. Don't give yourself a chance to cop out. Put it into your head that this is starting and there's no backing down"

You definitely can lose weight on your own without telling anyone but letting everyone know what you're doing is a good way to keep yourself on track. I made a group on Facebook with all of my closest friends and family and told them all what I'm doing and what my goal is and then asked them to keep me motivated and it really helped a lot. Not only were they there to tell me to keep going when I wanted to quit but they were also there to tell me when I was doing a great job.

katiegilchrist92

I tell friends and family as motivation.
I'm not very good at keeping myself going, so if I tell those around me that I want to lose weight then I almost feel like I have to keep it up.
It makes me pay more attention to what I eat and the exercise I do and I have stuck to it more this time than ever before

andreyadonna

Yes and no. I quit smoking 1.5 years ago and I quit soda 3 months ago. Both those times I had failed several times before I actually got it right. So when I went about losing weight this time (another situation where I've tried and failed several times), I decided to go about quitting fat the same way I went about quitting smoking and soda. The hinge in that is that I tell as few people as possible, and make good choices and tell myself I'm different until I believe it. I read a couple of studies a while back that were specifically about how telling poeple you are trying to accomplish a goal activates the reward center of your brain. That gives you the same boost that actually accomplishing things does, which for people who are addicted to food means you get a quick fix of feel good about losing weight without having to do any of the work. Then you don't lose the weight because your brain is already in the feel good mood. So when I go to change a major segment of my life, I don't tell anyone. Not because I'm afraid of going off track while people are watching, but because I'm afraid I'll go off track because of it. So I get a lot of my support online and not a lot outside of it. My SO knows I'm working on it, but that's because he's trying to gain weight at the same time. With that said, I'm not against talking about it should it come up. If someone notices my pants fitting loose and my ever shrinking body, I'll talk. But I do not offer information no one has asked for and I don't offer up deluges of information once someone makes a wandering query.

cwolfman13

At a certain point it became pretty evident, I didn't really have to tell anyone. I never received any negative comments as most of my family is pretty fit and active...my mom is a 60 y.o. triathlete and my sister is a former competitive gymnast and amateur mountain biker and my wife is a former college athlete (soccer and rugby). The only one around me that was worse off than me was my dad (RIP) who developed type II diabetes and full on metabolic syndrome due to not taking care of himself. I was heading down that same road so...yeah....pretty much everyone was ecstatic that I was getting my **** together and starting to rock my nutrition and fitness again (I'm also a former athlete).

dortilolma

I'm only in early days and have told my fiancee but other than that, no, I haven't mentioned it to anyone.

The reason I'm not really telling anyone else (unless they ask) is because everyone is just so sweet that I will be bombarded with, 'but you don't need to lose weight' and 'you look great as you are' and tonnes of other very nice things to hear but not really helpful as I am not happy with how I am and I really, really just want to shift these final 10kg that have been hounding me for years.

Francl27

I did eventually... It took me a month to tell my mom (I only see her 3 times a year), and she was happy I did it (and now pesters me because I'm too thin). My husband obviously I told the day I started. I didn't tell anyone else until I was down 40 lbs (but again, I don't have any friend really, just friends on FB).

weewdy

The only person that knows im trying to lose weight is my partner. Mostly the reason I haven't said to anyone is because I am ashamed that I have put this weight back on (I lost a lot of weight before I had my daughter).

MysteriousMerlin

My friends, coworkers, mom, sister and husband know. They are pretty supportive for the most part, though there are a couple who may possibly try subtle sabotage tactics, as I am usually the friend who matches them dessert for dessert.

It doesn't stop me from hanging out with them, as I'm old enough to make my own decisions and control what goes in my pie hole.

Pirate_chick

My kid and parents know. I haven't said anything to anyone else. I just want them to notice.

supermysza

They're the people I eat with so they know
They're supportive in both ways - supporting my weight loss and making sure I don't overdo it

lilmisfit1987

Hell yes I tell everyone! I yell it loud and proud...my notifications for mfp go right to my facebook feed.

Why wouldn't they be supportive? Honestly, if they're not going to support you and make rude comments, then they aren't much of a friend.

ezloshead

The last time I tried I told my mom and she made a point to say things like "Oh honey I got fruit for you because you're chubby!" and just pointing it out whenever she could. She's bad at not taking me seriously and just mocking me when I try to take steps forward in life. So this time i just haven't said anything and i feel so much better about it. I don't need the commentary.

salevy

I told my friends, families, and my coworkers. Big mistake.

My mother wanted me on whatever her friends had success on. My husband told me nothing worked in the past and therefore nothing will work in the future. One brother said just do it. The other brother is supportive (only one) and his wife is trying to turn me into a vegetarian.

All coworkers told me whatever I was having isn't on my diet. Didn't matter what I was having, whether it was a salad or something else. I said you don't know what's on my diet. They said it didn't matter what I was having, it wasn't allowed. I walked away from them. Someone passed my desk and saw what I had and said it wasn't allowed on my diet. A few minutes later I walked by her desk and told her what she had wasn't on her diet. She told me her diet was none of my business. I said then why is my diet any of yours and she agreed.

All the negative support in the world.

I found all the positive support I need online through the computer.

Shari

walkinthedogs

My daughter is the only one, but that's cause she lives with me and knows my habits and can see the progress. I don't tell anyone mostly because I just don't think it's anybody's business nor do I think most people care about my eating/exercising and weight habits. I have had a few people make comments on either my weight loss or just that I look good and I say thank you and that's it. If they ask how I did it, I tell them I quit eating like a pig and try to move more and just eat reasonable amounts of food, which is how I've been doing it. Usually when you get to that part of to conversation, they want to tell you how you should be doing it and I just change the subject cause I really don't want to get into the fact that I do not feel it is necessary to call food bad or eliminate certain groups, that won't work for me and the conversation usually goes downhill, unless they are savvy eaters, then it ends there and we move on to more interesting subjects.

lilmisfit1987

I told my friends, families, and my coworkers. Big mistake.

My mother wanted me on whatever her friends had success on. My husband told me nothing worked in the past and therefore nothing will work in the future. One brother said just do it. The other brother is supportive (only one) and his wife is trying to turn me into a vegetarian.

All coworkers told me whatever I was having isn't on my diet. Didn't matter what I was having, whether it was a salad or something else. I said you don't know what's on my diet. They said it didn't matter what I was having, it wasn't allowed. I walked away from them. Someone passed my desk and saw what I had and said it wasn't allowed on my diet. A few minutes later I walked by her desk and told her what she had wasn't on her diet. She told me her diet was none of my business. I said then why is my diet any of yours and she agreed.

All the negative support in the world.

I found all the positive support I need online through the computer.

Shari

Wow! I'm really sorry you're having such a tough time, especially from your husband. But on the other hand, I'm glad you are able to find the support you need online!