Do you tell friends and family?

walkinthedogs

I told my friends, families, and my coworkers. Big mistake.

My mother wanted me on whatever her friends had success on. My husband told me nothing worked in the past and therefore nothing will work in the future. One brother said just do it. The other brother is supportive (only one) and his wife is trying to turn me into a vegetarian.

All coworkers told me whatever I was having isn't on my diet. Didn't matter what I was having, whether it was a salad or something else. I said you don't know what's on my diet. They said it didn't matter what I was having, it wasn't allowed. I walked away from them. Someone passed my desk and saw what I had and said it wasn't allowed on my diet. A few minutes later I walked by her desk and told her what she had wasn't on her diet. She told me her diet was none of my business. I said then why is my diet any of yours and she agreed.

All the negative support in the world.

I found all the positive support I need online through the computer.

Shari

Those are the exact reasons I kept it to myself. Everyone wants to tell you what you should/should not eat and then comment on anything that passes your lips. It's really nobody's business IMO. Sorry you are going through that, it doesn't help and is highly annoying.

krennie8

I told one friend the first week, my mother and roommate the second, and then a few other people after about a month. I've told people the day of previously and they've almost always been my only diet day b/c I'm done shortly after. I figure I don't really need that extra pressure of having to live up to others expectations. Although I have a fear of failure, so there's that.

But my friend, roommate, and mom are all also dieting (though only my roommate is really in abt the same place; my mother thinks she's more overweight than she is at 155, 5'5", and my friend is like 110, 4'10"). Based on BMI though I was obese (barely) when I started at 172, 5'3.5". We're all doing different things (me-MFP, mom-exercise, roommate-WW, friend-LoseIt) but it's nice to have a bit of a support system.

keem88

i'm in a similar yet different situation about telling my family, but it's kind of in the other direction - i need to gain weight (i am in treatment for an eating disorder)
I started treatment in October and I still have NO idea how to tell them, or if I even should! Anyone have any suggestions for that?

As far as the losing weight, I would share with friends and family if they are the supportive type. Some family can be mean and not care, not sure how yours is so if they are supporitve people in general then go ahead and tell them, so you can share your progress and success with them!

mayaysf

Coming from a large latin family (aka, lots of food every day- rice and beans), it took me a while to explain to them that I'm eating less (or no) rice and more salad, protein shakes. they also thought i'd start working out and leave it right after a week. when they saw I was committed to it to a whole life style change, healthy eating and working out, not just diet. they've been very supportive. they've bought more veggies, they eat now more veggies than rice (most of the time), they don't offer me ice creams and sweets anymore, except on occasional family events when they ask me "can u have a cheat day today?". When I tell them about my Insanity workouts, they just shake their heads and say "u r INSANE" lol. even when im not losing weight but my body is changing, they keep saying how good I look. They are super excited that I'm starting the NROL4W now and keep asking me about the gym, what's the schedule, how I'm going to do it...

My cousins just know I'm working out but no specifics, I did post on Facebook and told them that I'm working out to have an amazing body to be a nudist (kind of an inside joke obviously) but it keeps me accountable, and is funny when they see me changing or they ask me "so how close are u to become a nudist?". Now when I choose not to eat any junk they have around, they know why and don't even offer me, and they have started to eat far from me "so I don't angry at them" hahaha

At work, that's a different story, they are always eating unhealthy food, drinking soda, eating chocolates and inviting me to join them. Then they come crying because they are gaining weight and their HCG, their diet pills, their body wraps are not working... I don't even bother educating them anymore. I just keep drinking my water and bringing lunch to work, and just eating better in general. Some of the girls ask me "how is insanity going?" , I just answer "good", then they say "Imma start diet and working out soon" (while eating a chocolates, and candies and drinking soda and all kinds of fried snacks). I haven't even told them I'm going to start weight lifting, they wouldn't understand.

prattiger65

Sure, I tell anyone who asks.

will2lose72

You know the saying about opinions...everyone's got one. If a 'bad' comment is going to derail you then don't tell anyone. In the end it is our mind set that needs to change not anyone else's. For me so far, I've lost this weight so slowly and over the wintertime when bigger clothes are covered up with a big jacket that no one has really noticed yet. And I'm ok with that. I see the number on the scale, the way my clothes are too big and that I'm fitting in to the smaller sizes in my closet. Just do you...no need to explain to anyone!

jkleon86

I have family and other people that consider it a challenge to cause you to screw up when I'm trying to lose so I don't tell but a few now.

Natbaybee

I told my husband and he decided to do it with me!

But I will say that I have been very surprised at people's comments. Some of the peoeple I expected to be the most supportive (mom, sister, best friend) are the ones who have had the negative things to say and been less than supportive.

But 2 of my other friends were extremely supportive and eventually impressed by my success. They have began to lose weight too....which I love!

I think that its probably best not to broadcast it around. Once you make some progress, people will notice all on their own

beth4dieting3

I went to the extreme because I wanted accountability and support. I have a blog and a Facebook site just about my weightloss. I can't tell you how important the support has been. I measure monthly and post my results. I have yet to have anyone give me negative feedback, even when I've slipped. It's a journey, not a diet and so I'm making my way slowly but surely. Good luck.

zyxst

Why wouldn't you tell friends and family that you are trying to better yourself. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Because they usually turn into the Food Police. Here are the basic questions/statements:

"Can you have that?"
"Do you eat potatoes/rice/bacon/cheese/etc.?"
"Oh, she doesn't eat cake/pie/ice cream/insert dessert here anymore."
"Are you supposed to eat that?"

My ILs and their friends are like this with me, MIL especially. My husband is absolutely bril about helping me keep on track.

JMPMJ1986

I have told a few close friends and some family. The ones that know are very supportive. I have put my self in the situation before where I have told people who weren't supportive. And there's nothing worse that hearing "That's what your eating?", "All you have to do is get off the couch and go for a walk every now and then", "Come on you can work out later" or the ever popular "You want some? .... Come on you know you want it." So for my sanity I have decided to share with only the people I know are going to be supportive of my choices. As for the rest ... It's none of their business.

pinklemonayde530

I have only told my boyfriend and 3 friends. I don't like having it out there for the world to see. If I lose weight its my business. It's getting to the point where it shows so I was asked by my grandmother if I had lost weight and finally told her. I didn't want to because I knew what was coming. She was trying to talk to me about food and weight loss for the next 2 hours. I can't tell her the real reason that I want to lose weight so I said it's what the dr wants (which isn't a lie) but I'm more motivated by seeing how she and a friend of mine are without having the exercise and I don't want to end up like that.

knra_grl

I tell people all the time - no point in keeping it a secret - I also tell them that I am not on a diet - I eat what I want - I am just changing my eating habit (truth).

aarar

Why wouldn't you tell friends and family that you are trying to better yourself. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Because they usually turn into the Food Police. Here are the basic questions/statements:

"Can you have that?"
"Do you eat potatoes/rice/bacon/cheese/etc.?"
"Oh, she doesn't eat cake/pie/ice cream/insert dessert here anymore."
"Are you supposed to eat that?"

My ILs and their friends are like this with me, MIL especially. My husband is absolutely bril about helping me keep on track.

All of this.

Iwishyouwell

I almost never tell people that I'm trying to lose weight, except my wife and sister.

This go round I've lost so much that I don't have to say a word. I did just tell one of my best friends, but he lives down in TX and rarely sees me.

While I know it's common, I have almost never in my life gotten negative response about my weight loss. But that might have something to do with the fact I don't have a lot of fat/obese people in my life, don't have relationships built around eating, and am largely surrounded by people who care about fitness and nutrition on some level. I am also a man who doesn't really present himself in a way that is likely to even welcome any kind of negativity about what I chose to put in my body.

AbsolutelyAnnie

Why wouldn't you tell friends and family that you are trying to better yourself. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Good question.

I view this as a very private battle with very public results. For me. I can't speak for others, but I am not ashamed. However, the battle is personal and I do have some demons to wrestle. That is private. Mostly between me and God, and a couple super close friends with whom I have an accountability relationship. My kids (grown) know.

Family of origin is often the source of woundedness that can cause over eating that leads to weight gain or other eating disorders. That healing may or may not come, but I am not gonna pick that scab now. Sadly, friends aren't always good friends.

The Real Life people around me will eventually figure out that I've lost weight.

For now, I am thrilled to find friends here on MFP with whom I can share transparently with the benefit of anonymity. It matters to me. At least for now.

Not sure if that answers the above quote or the OP. Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts.

flyingbeta

I found all the positive support I need online through the computer.
Shari

I'm with you on this, Shari. I've said it a couple of times in other posts -- I know that everyone on MFP wants me to succeed, and I feel that way about everyone on MFP. With such a huge virtual support system, I don't need anything else.

Blue801

I told them I was a lesbian. They kicked me out. It was Easter.

Fortunately I did not have the chance to tell them I was dieting and wouldn't eat the Cadbury eggs they had lovingly purchased for me. They may have disowned me for that. Fortunately that was many years ago and they love me again.

Now I tell my family I am working to lose weight and exercise to increase my accountability, but my family is a great balance of support without being annoying and nosy Otherwise I wouldn't tell them..

JulsiePie

Nope - I started a week ago and only my husband knows.....

For me, it's because I have so much weight to lose. I'm afraid if I start telling people, all they're going to do is look at me and start examining me and seeing if I'm actually losing weight. If they start noticing, great! If not, I don't care! I'm doing this for me and for my future...no one else needs to know!