I hope no one was watching....

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  • PrimalGirl
    PrimalGirl Posts: 148 Member
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    This happened to a friend of mine, and that's honestly true, it wasn't me. I'd own up if it was, because it's so funny I had to share.

    She took her daughter to a Christmas fayre at the local church and they had some real reindeer. My friend was wearing a faux fur coat and the lead reindeer obviously thought she was a sexy lady reindeer. He mounted her. Hooves on her shoulders, panting in her ear, the whole works.

    Her husband was laughing so hard he didn't bother to help her escape and her daughter wanted to know what the pink thing sticking out of the reindeer's belly was......
  • Aparz1
    Aparz1 Posts: 949
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    Was at lunch with the boss and my whole team... we were discussing NYC vs. Suburb living. It of course went to the topic of neighbors and I announced that if I was going to move to the suburbs I wouldn't want neighbors within eyesight so I could do whatever I want... Boss started laughing, asked for clarification of what I wouldn't want the neighbors to see and I turned pretty red :blushing:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    It was 1973. About 8 of us were riding our motorcycles from Twenty Nine Palms, California to San Francisco. Stopped in Fresno for lunch. McDonald's. Parked our bikes and went inside to order. Got our orders and went back outside. No available tables. So, I straddled my bike, pulled up the kickstand, placed my bag on the tank and proceeded to eat my burger. When I was done I swung my leg over the bike to toss my trach in the trash can.

    As I stepped away from my bike, it dawned on me that I had pulled my kickstand up. I turned around quickly. Just in time to see my bike fall over. No real damage, but try screwing up like that in front of 7 other Marines. They never let me forget it.
  • ZeldaMarooner7
    ZeldaMarooner7 Posts: 307
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    orrrr....i told my coworker he should pound me yesterday....don't even know what we were talking about

    Giggity.

    Giggity!!
  • SamMorBelsmom
    SamMorBelsmom Posts: 164 Member
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    It happens to me all the time but the funniest one to boot didn't even happen to me. I was a Hobby Lobby next to an Ace store, leaving the store with a cart full, I hit the unlock button to my grey mini van. Kitty corner to me, I see the lights on another mini van go off too. I stopped to check to make sure I had my wallet, and as I approach my van, there is a man on the phone sitting in my van. I knock on the window and asked him what he was doing. He says He is leaving. Then he looked around him, flushed purple, and tells his friend on the phone that he go into the wrong van! Hilarious and I am laughing uncontrollably just typing this.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    i also sent a brown noser reply to a co-worker that had sucked up to his boss in an email, only to hear him shout out to me from his office, "why did you reply to all?" - - and then the flush came over me...

    Oh God. This is one of my worst nightmares. I quadruple check work email before sending, and I still have to retract sometimes. I would laugh about the door smashing yogurt, but probably not about the email. I'd still be turning red years later thinking about it.

    One that comes to mind is the time I said Good Morning to a fellow employee, and when I thought she hadn't replied, I got in her face and said in a loud voice "I SAID, Good MORNING". She was so startled and said she HAD said it back, I just hadn't heard her. To this day I feel terrible about that. She's gotta think I'm some psycho or something now.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    Too many times to count
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    My list of clumsy offenses is a mile long!

    The most recent, I gave myself a concussion getting into my neighbors car last weekend.....

    There was also a dislocated elbow in college. I was walking, stepped in a hole that my friend's dog had dug. It was getting dark and I didn't see it. Twisted my ankle, and landed wrong. Elbow dislocated, split my lip open, and passed out from the pain. When I came to and walked into my friends house, he and his brother thought someone beat me up. They thought I was delirious when I told them I did it to myself! To this day I only have 30degree range of motion in that arm :(
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    orrrr....i told my coworker he should pound me yesterday....don't even know what we were talking about

    Back in college, I was talking to my friend holding scissors and for some odd reason the thought popped into my head to ask her if I could cut her nose only when I opened my damn fool mouth, it came out as "can I *kitten* your nose?". Talk about embarrassed! And of course she never let me forget it...even brought it up years later. Luckily I adore her and have fairly thick skin.

    There are so many stories about saying stupid things and tripping over my own feet I could go on for hours! One thing I'll add though as it's actually related to the site, is that with better fitness and weight loss, I'm not nearly as clumsy as I used to be! I actually slipped on the ice a few weeks ago and managed to keep my balance!
  • hmaddpear
    hmaddpear Posts: 610 Member
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    All the bloody time. Seriously. And I like to replay them in my head for my own humiliation - which just makes me wince more. A lot involve me tripping over. For instance on Saturday, I was at a club, stepped off a podium, stood on the back of my new slinky black trousers and fell flat on my face. Most people thought I was drunk and tried to ply me with fresh air / water etc.

    Sometimes it's me just being an idiot. I had a huge rant in the office this afternoon, where it turned out I'd just not read the instructions properly. Ooops.

    I wouldn't say I've become immune to the embarrassment, but I have elevated beating myself up to an art form.

    ETA: It was my face I fell flat on - not a euphemism for *anything* else. :laugh:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    I'm still laughing over the skirt tucked into her knickers! I do stupid shniz all the time, and sometimes I say stupid shniz (my FL can vouch for that). You know that joke about the boyfriend who tells his girlfriend it's not very ladylike when she burps, and she says neither is putting your D in my mouth, but you don't complain about that! Imagine sitting at a dinner table with your extended family, you burp, and your uncle tells you that's not very ladylike. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. I couldn't believe I said it, but he, and everyone else, was laughing hysterically, thank goodness!
  • Phenylethylamine_Phreak
    Phenylethylamine_Phreak Posts: 2,211 Member
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    I'm still laughing over the skirt tucked into her knickers! I do stupid shniz all the time, and sometimes I say stupid shniz (my FL can vouch for that). You know that joke about the boyfriend who tells his girlfriend it's not very ladylike when she burps, and she says neither is putting your D in my mouth, but you don't complain about that! Imagine sitting at a dinner table with your extended family, you burp, and your uncle tells you that's not very ladylike. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. I couldn't believe I said it, but he, and everyone else, was laughing hysterically, thank goodness!


    ^^ just snorted my coffee
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I'm still laughing over the skirt tucked into her knickers! I do stupid shniz all the time, and sometimes I say stupid shniz (my FL can vouch for that). You know that joke about the boyfriend who tells his girlfriend it's not very ladylike when she burps, and she says neither is putting your D in my mouth, but you don't complain about that! Imagine sitting at a dinner table with your extended family, you burp, and your uncle tells you that's not very ladylike. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. I couldn't believe I said it, but he, and everyone else, was laughing hysterically, thank goodness!

    OMG tears!
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 851 Member
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    When I was in college I locked myself out of my room when I went to take a shower. It was about 7:30 in the morning and everyone was getting on the elevator heading to their 8 oclock classes and I had to get on in nothing but a towel, flip flops, and my nipple rings. Usually it takes a whole hell of alot to get me embarrassed but I was in a coed dorm and there was some hotties on there. I would have taken the steps but I was on the 17th floor.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
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    I once dug a hole in the sand at the beach, about 4ft deep maybe 5ft deep .... a little while later, playing frisbee ... I run and jump, catch the frisbee but forgot about the hole I dug ... Fell down the hole head first, beach full of people taking pictures of just my legs poking out the sand


    Still get nightmares


    :laugh: :laugh: sorry for laughing :laugh: :laugh:
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
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    When I was 17, I landed a summer job working in an office Downtown. I thought I was so cool and wanted to dress up every day like the big girls. I spent 3/4 of my paycheck on the sharpest dress ever. It was teal and black and buttoned all the way down the back. It looked great except every time I sat down, it came unbuttoned at the butt. Lunch time rolls around, we go out and its very windy. As I'm walking across a busy cross walk, huge gust of wind and the dress is flying horizontally in front of me. If it wasn't long sleeved, I would have lost it completely. I ran across the street and was backed up against the building and some woman was trying to help me. I was mortified! It's funny now.

    Now that I'm older, I do stupid stuff all the time. I usually laugh about it and tell people. You have to be able to laugh at yourself.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
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    I was at an agility seminar with one of the best agility people in the world doing an exercise with my champion and running in between jumps on flat ground tripped over my own feet went splat face first on my stomach arms outstretched and everything. My dog started humping my back for everyone to see. When I got up I had grass stuck in between my front teeth.

    I laugh about this now.

    OMG, sorry ...... but I'm laughing so hard that tears are rolling down my face ...... I'm going to thinking about that all day, especially the "humping" part ...... sorry :laugh: :laugh:
  • I_love_to_ride
    I_love_to_ride Posts: 561
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    Last summer I was running on the high school track in our town. A high school girl passed me an caught my foot as she passed. We both went down and I landed on top of her. I am not sure who was redder from embarrassment.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    having been an unintentional sideshow my whole life, i can say i'm now finally accustomed to it. people are always looking at me, for different reasons.
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
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    story of my life....

    so I was doing an Advanced paper presentation in grade 12 English on the subject of sexuality and satanism in Lord of the Flies, when I got to the sexuality part my opener was "So you've got a bunch of pubescent boys on an island with no way to alleviate themselves and their frustrations.....I'm sure all of you guys know how that feels like."

    i stopped, the whole football team in the back row stared at me...they started to get up and the teacher had to stand between myself and them and suggest that maybe I would like to phrase it a little differently.

    I blanked and said... no I think that's about right.......

    ugh.

    I was 20 and we were heading to a local rock concert. It was January and icy, cold and snowy as all get out. We had stayed at my friend's aunts house that was minutes from the venue so we walked....I tripped on some ice...i went down....I split a hole in my jeans....we did NOT have time to turn back to the house...

    I went to that concert with a hole exposing my *kitten* cheek praying no one would notice.....

    every single guy noticed. I was slapped, I was pinched, i was cupped, I had hands stuffed in there....


    boner moments? I haz them....

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