How do I treat my boss with respect?

Maggie1960

Just a quick update on the situation with my boss.
Funny after all her snide comments about me looking tired,drawn and ill, her assistant rang me on another matter late yesterday evening and said "She told me you look stunning, you've lost tons of weight! How have you done it?" Now WHY couldn't she have said that to my face?:sad:

Shall I email the boss the link to this website?! Hmmm. As long as she doesn't send me a friend request I'll cope I guess:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Ms_Natalie

haha....looks like she finally came to her senses. Hmmm....I would try and make sure this thread is deleted or "lost" before you invite her on here....there could be a slight problem if she stumbles across this post :flowerforyou:

Maggie1960

haha....looks like she finally came to her senses. Hmmm....I would try and make sure this thread is deleted or "lost" before you invite her on here....there could be a slight problem if she stumbles across this post :flowerforyou:

Well seeing as she professes to be perfectly happy weighing more than 300lbs, I doubt if she'll be joining MFP any time soon:bigsmile:
The staff room is still crammed with boxes of doughnuts and cookies which she brought with her yesterday - I have managed to convert most of the other staff members to healthy eating and exercise so it looks like the homeless shelter will be getting them later today.

LotusF1ower

She only comes to our office every couple of months or so, and she's one of those very large ladies with a huge personality that can be a bit overwhelming at times.
She must weigh 300lbs+ and professes to be a "happy fatty" who enjoys the good things in life.
She will almost certainly make a negative comment about my weight loss - which is becoming noticeable as I go down another size in clothes - and I always find myself SO tempted to call her bluff about her weight.
When she's being negative about me and my colleagues(always appearance, never work) I have to bite my lip to stop myself from saying anything derogatory to her.

But I just don't believe for a minute she's as happy as she says she is.
Any wise words of wisdom, my lovely MFP pals?

She's not!

She belittles those losing weight and belittles others regarding their appearance because they make her feel inadequate, she would never, in a million years, admit it though, so it is not even worth going down that route.

You all need to get together and give each other support and then when she comes in with her derisory comments, it will be like water off a duck's back, quite simply because you are all sticking together. It is fortunate for you all, that she only visits once in a while, imagine what it would be like to work, every single day, all day with somebody like that! :noway:

You should use her negativity as a spur for yourself and so should the others in your office. Keep losing your weight and make a chart up, with stars from one to ten, the worse she gets, the more stars she gains and watch that chart fill up! Bloody hilarious :laugh:

What would make it all the more amusing would be that she wouldn't have a clue what the chart was, but you all would!

mmtiernan

Just a quick update on the situation with my boss.
Funny after all her snide comments about me looking tired,drawn and ill, her assistant rang me on another matter late yesterday evening and said "She told me you look stunning, you've lost tons of weight! How have you done it?" Now WHY couldn't she have said that to my face?:sad:

Shall I email the boss the link to this website?! Hmmm. As long as she doesn't send me a friend request I'll cope I guess:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Well! So it was jealousy fueling her remarks. There are ways you can help her on the sly - have you though about creating a health and fitness group at your office? You can start an email newsletter with health and fitness tips an send it out to all of your colleagues, including your boss. Do you have access to a Sharepoint site or does your company have an intranet where you and your colleagues can set up fitness tips, recipes, etc. that would be accessible by anyone?

Our company has healthy initiatives that encourage people to get healthy and fit. Recently, they've begun periodic 'challenges' that run for 6 weeks at a time, where you track daily how many minutes you exercise, how many glasses of water you drink, how many servings of fruits and vegetables, pedometer steps and your weight. Folks form teams of 10 or less and then at the end of the week team rankings are posted so you can see how your team stacked up. It's a good start, I think! In conjunction with it, I send out daily emails with health and fitness tips to my team members to help keep them motivated and hopefully, point them in the right direction with regard to their diet and exercise.

Anyway, just a thought for you. It seems like the more you can help folks understand, the more inclined they are to jump on the bandwagon and stay on (which is why I love, love, love MFP!).

Good luck - and congrats on looking so FAB!

Voncreepy2

She is letting her personal feelings affect her entire life. i mean if it affects people at work, it must be an issue. Just be careful what you post. People are getting fired and stuff for negative comments now.

And i just now read your update. She must be unhappy and i feel sorry for her. People often put up a wall to keep from being hurt. i.e. I am happy being fat ...you can't hurt me.......Humans......Good luck to you.

ZebraHead

No one can make you feel (good or bad) without your permission. You control how you feel and respond to any outside influence.

Smile and be confident about your achivements. No one can take them from you.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Sasssy69

Tell her your job is really stressful, and you eat and eat, but keep losing weight. HA HA! JUST KIDDING!

It's not only unprofessional, but also illegal for her to comment on your physical apperance. It's harassment. I've taken many sexual harassment courses and we are told to never comment on the physical appearance of another individual regardless of whether they are of the same gender as you. It's grounds for a lawsuit because you do not know how someone will take it.

Your physical appearance has nothing to do with your job performance. Depending on if you worry about your position being threatened, you might want to simply ask her "What does my physical appearance have to do with my job performance? More importantly, why are you commenting on the way I look?"

If you feel this will put you in her line of sight, ignore it. You know the importance of leading a healthy life style. You will live longer, have more energy, and simply feel better about yourself than she does. She knows this and is threatened by it. Sad for her.

SweetyGirl

Just a quick update on the situation with my boss.
Funny after all her snide comments about me looking tired,drawn and ill, her assistant rang me on another matter late yesterday evening and said "She told me you look stunning, you've lost tons of weight! How have you done it?" Now WHY couldn't she have said that to my face?:sad:

Shall I email the boss the link to this website?! Hmmm. As long as she doesn't send me a friend request I'll cope I guess:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Your boss is evidently having a difficult time dealing with her own demons, and you just may be the catalyst to spark a change for the better for her. When people are practicing self-destructive behavior, (which is what many of us do when we overeat), they often need to reach that "AHA!" moment before they can start healing. If I were you, I would treat the woman with the respect she deserves as your boss and expect the same in return. Unless her remarks go too far and you are reaching the stage where you cannot take it anymore. Then you need to decide if it's bad enough to address the issue with HR or her superiors.

In the meantime, remember the old saying "Living well is the best revenge." And, if she comes around and asks for advice on getting healthy, that's the time to show who is the better person. You may just save her from herself. But I wouldn't open that door unless she knocks first.

Great advice from everybody here.