I'm eating healthy, but my spouse isn't
Replies
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Not what he eats, but how much. He cares about the quality of the food we eat just as much as I do but he can just eat so much of it. It kind of annoys me that he never has to worry about how much he's eating... he's very active though. He frames houses for a living, whereas I have a desk job. When we cook he always wants to add things to our food that will make it "better" but adds a lot of calories... like any type of sauce he will add heavy cream to it, and stuff like that. It sucks because he gets to enjoy food with more calories but by doing that, my portion sizes get smaller and smaller. But luckily I cook most of the time.
and also i eat fried chicken and chinese food. I just eat less of it. I might be naive but I don't understand what's so bad about fried chicken? we use whole wheat flour and natural seasonings. The oil adds a lot of calories but I didn't think oil was necessarily bad for you. We normally just use the breasts and cut them into little chicken strips. I can eat like 3 chicken strips for about 300 calories.0 -
It's hard for me being the only one dieting in my home and there are only three of us. My friends will invite me out to dinner but I don't want to spend 12bucks on a salad I can eat at home. I can't make my honey diet if he doesn't need it, but I do notice when I eat better I have more energy and he is more sluggish.0
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I get this!!! My husband is 6'3 and 190lbs, and I have 5 kids. For the most part no one in my family has a choice. I cook ALL the food and make my husband lunches. I also do ALL the shopping. I am only a month in. So I have started them all off slow. I am not making anyone snack on carrot sticks and stuff, I just haven't bought any junk, but kept their meals the same. After about two weeks of that I started switching up their stuff. My kids are snacking on fruit, cheese sticks, and jerky instead of chips. Oh, and I am gonna make pb greek yogurt dip for sliced apples for them next week. My husband usually takes oatmeal (packet of apple raisin oatmeal) to work, and I started cooking up a big batch of steel cut oats, and putting it in the fridge. I make his oatmeal now with protein powder, no sugar, cinnamon, and raisins. He said it took him a few days but now he is actually liking it. I made spaghetti for dinner and didn't make bread, no one complained. So maybe you could take over meal preparation and start small. Get better snacks but something that he likes, and then once a week bring home his Chinese food that he loves. That's what I do.0
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My husband isn't the one who made the choice to lose weight, I did so I take responsibility for my choices and he is responsible for his.
Same goes on in my household ! Hubby's a big boy who really could afford to shed some 30-40 pounds but he is an adult and is the "master of his domain" as far as food & exercise goes. I do not cook separate dinners for him and I, I just control my portions for that meal. I however have free rein on what I have for brekkie, lunch and snacks, which helps me attain my goal :-)0 -
Oh! One more thing. Don't eat food you don't like just cause it's "diet." Thank you Jesus, I am changing my life! I eat things I like, if I want something I figure out how many calories it has and then adjust my day accordingly. I eat pizza, peanut butter pancakes, tea and toast with "gasp" real butter. That is the beauty of counting calories. I have tried dieting for YEARS! I can't ever stick with anything. Low carb - they eat pizza. Low fat - they eat fried chicken. Ugh! No wonder I couldn't do it! This time around I am counting my calories and thank you Lord I am sticking with and I don't feel deprived or want to quit. My usually quit time is 2 weeks. So if you aren't eating stuff you actually like, then you will fail. Just make what you like healthier and then eat a little less of it.0
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I'm single & live alone but I do not know another person in my real life that eats healthy. It doesn't bother me at all. I eat out and can comment on the fancy desserts they eat (and how good they look) w/o feeling deprived or left out. I have no desire to eat the way they eat. I intend to be healthy & fit and I intend to stay that way. For me, that means eating only healthy foods. I'm happy & satisfied eating this way. I was never happy or satisfied when I indulged the way others in my life do.0
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Agree'd, but I gotta Add, the Chinese food I ate in China... not even the same ball park as the "chinese food" she's talking about. If millions of chinese people ate that crap every day... China wouldnt be the same. at all.Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Ah! read back and you quoted yourself anyways ahhaha
Agree'd, but I gotta Add, the Chinese food I ate in China... not even the same ball park as the "chinese food" she's talking about. If millions of chinese people ate that crap every day... China wouldnt be the same. at all.Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Lol, so Chinese food that's eaten by employees in Chinese restaurants (yes they eat there and that food) with the lean waiters/waitresses isn't really Chinese food? Heck I go to China Town in SF often and it seems that lots of Chinese people eat the same exact foods that served in restaurants there.
Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
They just don't eat a whole order to themselves. They "share" it with 2-3 other people.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Exactly this.0 -
All you can hope for is he someday sees the progress you have made and he decides to join you. He has to get his self motivated!!
Basil0 -
I. For the most part no one in my family has a choice. I cook ALL the food and make my husband lunches. I also do ALL the shopping.
You are fortunate that yours cooperates. My husband goes out and buys his own junk food. He won't eat fruits, or vegs not on his "approved" list even if they are served to him. One time he was at my parent's house and saw my mom cooking chili. He doesn't like beans. Without a word, he walked out the door and drove to Burger King-- which of course offended my family, and he couldn't understand why.
I have been thinking of getting that book "The Sneaky Chef" which has recipes for getting vegs into your kids' food without them knowing it. I would have to hide the book from him. If he knows something is there that he doesn't like, he will refuse to eat it even if he can't taste it. It's like feeding a picky toddler.0 -
I usually eat whatever he's having but I eat way less. He doesn't know when to stop. Calories in/calories out.0
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Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.
Depends on where you go. Not all "takeout" places are created the same.
I know, as I live in NYC, one of the most diverse culinary cites on planet Earth. I live two and a half blocks from the Brooklyn Chinatown, where lots of true Chinese cuisine is served.
But lets not nitpick here. We all know the vast majority of "Chinese food" served in the west is not authentic Chinese food eaten by "millions" of actual Chinese people, simply because there are a rare percentage of authentic Chinese food places.
I live in Queens and I know. *shrug* Doesn't make one or the other "healthier" or "unhealthier".
Still, not the point.
Saying that Chinese people are "fine" eating "Chinese food" every day is a fallacy because they are not eating the western version "every day". That's like saying Japanese people stay so thin by eating the western version of sushi. Except no, they don't stay thin eating fried philadelphia cream cheese rolls every day.
I'm not having an argument about what's "healthy". I'm just correcting a culinary fallacy.0 -
Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.
Depends on where you go. Not all "takeout" places are created the same.
I know, as I live in NYC, one of the most diverse culinary cites on planet Earth. I live two and a half blocks from the Brooklyn Chinatown, where lots of true Chinese cuisine is served.
But lets not nitpick here. We all know the vast majority of "Chinese food" served in the west is not authentic Chinese food eaten by "millions" of actual Chinese people, simply because there are a rare percentage of authentic Chinese food places.
I live in Queens and I know. *shrug* Doesn't make one or the other "healthier" or "unhealthier".
Still, not the point.
Saying that Chinese people are "fine" eating "Chinese food" every day is a fallacy because they are not eating the western version "every day". That's like saying Japanese people stay so thin by eating the western version of sushi. Except no, they don't stay thin eating fried philadelphia cream cheese rolls every day.
I'm not having an argument about what's "healthy". I'm just correcting a culinary fallacy.
Then what is the point other than to argue semantics?0 -
Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.
Depends on where you go. Not all "takeout" places are created the same.
I know, as I live in NYC, one of the most diverse culinary cites on planet Earth. I live two and a half blocks from the Brooklyn Chinatown, where lots of true Chinese cuisine is served.
But lets not nitpick here. We all know the vast majority of "Chinese food" served in the west is not authentic Chinese food eaten by "millions" of actual Chinese people, simply because there are a rare percentage of authentic Chinese food places.
I live in Queens and I know. *shrug* Doesn't make one or the other "healthier" or "unhealthier".
Still, not the point.
Saying that Chinese people are "fine" eating "Chinese food" every day is a fallacy because they are not eating the western version "every day". That's like saying Japanese people stay so thin by eating the western version of sushi. Except no, they don't stay thin eating fried philadelphia cream cheese rolls every day.
I'm not having an argument about what's "healthy". I'm just correcting a culinary fallacy.
Then what is the point other than to argue semantics?
A. I don't have to explain any "point" to you regarding what I chose to post.
B. I didn't start this "argument". I responded to another poster entirely on the difference between the two, and you felt the need to step in and contribute your opinion on my post.
Now I'm moving on.0 -
People you live with can't be expected to have the same mindset and goals. Everyone is so different and has different priorities in life. Keep educating yourself about the healthy things. Maybe one day he might turn his thoughts in that direction. Maybe not. But, you've got to do this for yourself. Consider him unhealthy and unknowledgeable about all this. He's set in his ways and he's happy with them now. You've got to be happy with what you are trying to do, no matter what he does. There's a lot of things that could make this easier for you, but, this is one thing that you can't control. Focus on what you can control.0
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DH & I started out together trying to change our eating habits to healthier choices and lose weight. I'm well on my way to success whereas he lasted only a couple weeks. He works and eats fast food for his lunch everyday, refuses to take a lunch mostly because he hates sandwiches and doesn't have access to a microwave. Plus, it's his chance to 'get away' from the office for an hour. I don't work so I'm on my own for all my meals except for in the evening when I cook for both of us. For our shared meal, I just use my scales to weigh portions and don't add the same things to the meal.
For instance, if we're having spaghetti & garlic cheese bread he'll have a big plate with two pieces of bread with an RC cola and I'll have a measured portion with one piece of the bread that I've prepared with less butter, cheese etc., and just water to drink. Most nights after the meal we have Dove chocolates for 'dessert.' Well, I have one, he usually has 2-3. Every morning we both have a slice of cinnamon raisin bread too before he goes to work. I just weigh the butter on mine. I purposely save calories for this. These two things have become kind of like a, 'love ritual' I guess you could say for us. hehe
Weekends are a bit different. I prepare all our meals then, but sometimes we don't share them. I don't always want the same thing he does, so I just make myself something else. No biggie.
It's all about moderation and portion control for me, I don't cut anything out of my diet. EXCEPT RC cola. It's like candy to me, I gained A LOT of my weight from drinking a six-pack or more a day of that stuff. o.O
Anyway, I don't chastise him about his diet or try to push him to eat healthier, he knows he'd be better off, he's a big boy. He just chooses not to right now. Maybe one day he'll try again and succeed, but until then, I respect his wishes. It works for us. 0 -
my other half always brings back doner kebabs, chinese, chicken and chips and all types of goodies. Some times I will have a bite and sometimes I will have more than a bite. We are not on the same page but its not going to spoil my progress.0
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I deal with it. I've found that the 'low calorie' meals at restaurants, for example, are often just as tasty or tastier than the burgers and fries I used to order... and if I crave burgers and fries, I make my own healthier versions at home... so it works.
Just have something equally delicious but healthier. Win/win. You don't have to stuff yourself on snap peas and carrots to lose weight.0 -
My husband used to eat whatever he wanted and didn't exercise. He's 6'3, so he can definitely eat more cals than me. I think according to BMR, he can eat something like 500-600 cals more than me a day! That's kind of annoying.
Once he had kids, he really changed his eating habits and seriously started working out. It's funny, b/c he will say some of the same things about food that I used to say that annoyed him!
Just do what you are doing...and EVENTUALLY, he will probably realize he should be doing the same thing.0 -
Btw, fwiw, every time I go to an American "Chinese" restaurant the Chinese staff are eating vegetables, plain rice, fruit, stuff like that. I've noticed that people from China who came here later in life have very different tastes and appetites than us (note: generalization). My best friend from Shenzhen went to dinner with me and a few other friends. We all ate a good amount, she ordered a single piece of fish and split it with the other Chinese girl, lol. @the girl who said something like one isn't healthier than the other: Btw, just because you can lose weight eating it because of its calories does NOT make it a HEALTHY choice. Using that logic dictates all skinny people are healthy because they're eating low calories, right? Wrong. There are bad choices for your health and good choices and it doesn't always correspond to the ability to lose weight with the food.0
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Anybody else find it hard to resist temptation with an unhealthy spouse? When I'm eating carrots and snap peas and my husband is next to me enjoying his fried chicken or Chinese food.... AHHHH!!!!! Lol
My husband and I eat the same meals so that is not a problem for me. We are both foodies with a focus on healthy foods. Our meals are either home cooked from scratch or sit down, higher quality restaurant (not fast food) so meals are fine. I'm not easily tempted either. Personally I would enjoy his fried chicken or Chinese food in moderation. There's a lot of Chinese dishes that are lower in calories. My only concern with the Chinese food is not the calories but the sodium content.0 -
My husband eats unhealthy things because that's all he can eat right now. He's getting a bunch of surgery on his mouth and he can only eat soft things like spaghettios, milkshakes, pudding. He does enjoy my low-carb chili though. But overall, I don't mind and I make him his meal and I prepare my keto-friendly meal.
It's your diet, not his. You can't get mad at him because you are eating better.
There are a lot of soft things he can eat without going into the 'junk food' category - protein shakes, fruit smoothies, mashed potatoes, yogurt, home cooked pasta, and pretty much anything can be put into a blender.0 -
Your diet not his. And because someone eats fried chicken or Chinese food, it doesn't mean they're unhealthy. Hell there are millions of Chinese that eat Chinese food everyday and are just fine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yeah, the "Chinese food" we eat in the West has very little resemblance to actual Chinese food.
Depends on where you go. Not all "takeout" places are created the same.
I know, as I live in NYC, one of the most diverse culinary cites on planet Earth. I live two and a half blocks from the Brooklyn Chinatown, where lots of true Chinese cuisine is served.
But lets not nitpick here. We all know the vast majority of "Chinese food" served in the west is not authentic Chinese food eaten by "millions" of actual Chinese people, simply because there are a rare percentage of authentic Chinese food places.
I live in Queens and I know. *shrug* Doesn't make one or the other "healthier" or "unhealthier".
Still, not the point.
Saying that Chinese people are "fine" eating "Chinese food" every day is a fallacy because they are not eating the western version "every day". That's like saying Japanese people stay so thin by eating the western version of sushi. Except no, they don't stay thin eating fried philadelphia cream cheese rolls every day.
I'm not having an argument about what's "healthy". I'm just correcting a culinary fallacy.
Then what is the point other than to argue semantics?
A. I don't have to explain any "point" to you regarding what I chose to post.
B. I didn't start this "argument". I responded to another poster entirely on the difference between the two, and you felt the need to step in and contribute your opinion on my post.
Now I'm moving on.
Blah blah blah :yawn:0 -
Btw, fwiw, every time I go to an American "Chinese" restaurant the Chinese staff are eating vegetables, plain rice, fruit, stuff like that. I've noticed that people from China who came here later in life have very different tastes and appetites than us (note: generalization). My best friend from Shenzhen went to dinner with me and a few other friends. We all ate a good amount, she ordered a single piece of fish and split it with the other Chinese girl, lol. @the girl who said something like one isn't healthier than the other: Btw, just because you can lose weight eating it because of its calories does NOT make it a HEALTHY choice. Using that logic dictates all skinny people are healthy because they're eating low calories, right? Wrong. There are bad choices for your health and good choices and it doesn't always correspond to the ability to lose weight with the food.
No you're wrong. Sorry. There is no such thing as bad food, just too much food.0 -
OMG lol, yes my honey does this to me a lot. If I'm allowed 6 rice cakes, he's eating a family bag of chips, if I'm eating salad he's eating hot wings, which only makes me angry with the salad for not being hot wings lol. It's hard but if you can suffer through it should make you feel stronger and empowered to sticking to your healthy eating.
Six rice cakes come in at about 240 calories. You could enjoy a serving of chips for the same number of calories then you wouldn't feel deprived. Over the winter, we go out Tuesday nights to enjoy wing night with a group of friends. I order 4 wings naked with sauce on the side and a garden salad with dressing on the side that comes at a total of 400 calories. So if you want to, you can enjoy these foods while still losing weight.0 -
Btw, fwiw, every time I go to an American "Chinese" restaurant the Chinese staff are eating vegetables, plain rice, fruit, stuff like that. I've noticed that people from China who came here later in life have very different tastes and appetites than us (note: generalization). My best friend from Shenzhen went to dinner with me and a few other friends. We all ate a good amount, she ordered a single piece of fish and split it with the other Chinese girl, lol. @the girl who said something like one isn't healthier than the other: Btw, just because you can lose weight eating it because of its calories does NOT make it a HEALTHY choice. Using that logic dictates all skinny people are healthy because they're eating low calories, right? Wrong. There are bad choices for your health and good choices and it doesn't always correspond to the ability to lose weight with the food.
No you're wrong. Sorry. There is no such thing as bad food, just too much food.
Oh okay.0 -
I try to eat healthy but my husband does not. He will drink pop all day long, eat basically whatever he wants whenever he wants. For our meals together at home, we usually eat similar things, though I just may eat only half of that piece of meat and add in vegetables instead of the potato side that he wants. Though he does not want to do it, he is supportive of what I want to do. When he cooks, he'll leave out the packages and ingredients so I can log them, or he'll steam some vegetables for me. I think eventually, after he sees me doing it for so long, he might try to change his eating habits to be healthier. He did surprise me once when he decided that he wanted to make a small salad for himself to have with his dinner one night!! I did a little happy dance :-D Just focus on yourself and what you want to achieve and eventually your spouse will be supportive of that, and may even change his ways!0
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My wife and I typically eat the same things, but the issue is portion control. I limit my caloric intake, eliminted soda from my life and work out moderatly and lose weight. My wife, will buy candy for me, unhealthy choices and gets mad when I do not eat them. She does struggle with her weight, now that we have had kids, and its hard to watch her make poor choices, but I find, when I say something, I am wrong, but then when I dont say something I am still wrong.....lol. But its my lifestyle choice to be healthier and find my old body, again.
Be strong!0 -
my life....
My wife doesn't follow my nutrition plan or training. I respect her for that but it's hard to see her eat junk in front of me.
She doesn eat better at supper cause i'm cooking lol so she eats what I eat..kids too but other than that..not that much no.
At first my husband was really resistant and kept eating unhealthy and i told him to just eat what i packed him for lunch and my dinner and snacks that i made him and if he did not lose any weight he could go back.But just to give me 1 week No exercise just the food. He DROPPED 7lbs chicken water and veggies does that quick if your a eating out kinda person. Well now hes down 10 in 2 weeks he feels great and loves coming home to Chicken and veggies and sometimes rice or some other bs like sweet potato but nothing fried EVER!!! only baked or grilled trimmed fat and veggies also portion control. My husband can eat I am the morbidly obese one and he can out eat me x100 I dont know why hes not 10000lbs ugh! But try that and good luck!0
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