Getting blamed for someone else's overeating

spicegeek

Is she an adult ? .. yes ?? .. nuff said

She is is own responsibility

zanne54

Does your aunt use you as the scapegoat on other things than food?

If not, and it's only a food-related issue, then ask her if it would be ok if you used one of these for her trigger items: http://www.fridgelocker.com

I figure you'll soon find out if your aunt is willing to work towards a solution, or if she's using you as a scapegoat to enable her bad behaviour.

Commander_Keen

nearly 2 months ago on super bowl sunday, I bought queso cheese dip. we ate it over a few days. my aunt had a little bit of it. Fast forward to last week. There was Queso in the fridge. yesterday there was a giant jar, almost all eaten. i had barely had any. Last night my family told me I was the one at fault for my aunt overeating it this past week. I just do not understand how I can be to blame just because I bought it nearly 2 months ago. It seems me buying it made her want it 2 months later and she didn't have enough will power not to buy it.

If we are going this route, I once had an ice cream about 10 years ago, now i want another one. my diet is blown.. It's not right to blame someone else for the overeating you are doing. We need to take responsibility for our own actions.

Since I live with my aunt, I am now not allowed to buy certain things because of her overeating. I can't buy it and use the family fridge because then she will want it. I am so disheartened this morning. it seems everything I like eating, makes her want to overeat. I am going to have to accept this is not my problem.

Yes..
the answer you may or may not like is yes..

Yes we do not have will power or control.
Yes Most of us are here because we are fat and overweight can NOT CONTROL what we eat.
Yes if you know certain family members can not/should eat eat something you should not buy it or bring it into the hosue.

ThickMcRunFast

But don't you UNDERSTAND???? Some people are addicted to food!!!! Would you keep heroin or crack lying around?

Bounce4

100% not your problem. Work on getting other peoples issues and feelings out of your head. Each time you feel anxious about how someone else feels or what they say ask yourself whose problem and feelings are in question. If the problem and/or feelings are not yours - do not spend any more time thinking about them. They can worry about it all on their own. Shrug your shoulders and force yourself to think about other things. Don't allow your thoughts to get mired down. It gets easier the more you practice it.

So - not your house so you have to go by her rules. That is your problem. How to fix? Get a mini fridge and a crate in your room for your personal foods. Put together a plan to get your own place. Life is easier in untold ways when you have your own space.

themelmac

And somewhere a little kid is having to eat rolls with icing instead of real cupcakes.

Yes, she is. LOL. :laugh:

calliegirl1973

Meanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."

Lol, no. she's not like that all.

It's not a I live with my aunt and live under her rules. I actually live with my mom and pay rent, my aunt moved in with us. we are all adults. I just get blamed for it. If i bought the nacho dip a year ago, i'd still get blamed.

I like the get my own fridge idea might just do that.

Mr_Excitement

I can see why your aunt has the self-control of a toddler. Sounds like her entire family helps her blame everything but herself for her decisions.

jillmarie125

And somewhere a little kid is having to eat rolls with icing instead of real cupcakes.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

AnnieRN6

I'm SO glad you're here--you've been reinforced that your aunt's weight loss is her issue, not yours. Hold your head high, keep going on your own weight-loss path, and don't let her get you down. You're going to do really well, because you're owning your weight issues, and you're able to separate the truth from the malarkey.

JoRocka

Meanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."

Lol, no. she's not like that all.

It's not a I live with my aunt and live under her rules. I actually live with my mom and pay rent, my aunt moved in with us. we are all adults. I just get blamed for it. If i bought the nacho dip a year ago, i'd still get blamed.

I like the get my own fridge idea might just do that.

not that this needs to be said AGAIN- but ESPECIALLY if she moved in- you shouldn't be required to jump through hoopes- she's staying as a guest and an adult- mark it as yours and that's it.

Ask her if she would steal someone else's cookies if she was at their house for an afternoon?

Probably not without asking. same deal.
its' not her food- she shouldn't be taking it- it's her responsibility to act like the grown *kitten* woman she is.

sue_langley

A lot of people have trigger foods or even foods that they are allergic or intollerant too. It would be an opportunity to show love for her to do what you can to keep those foods out of sight for her. I'm sure if you feel compassion for her struggle you can get pretty creative. More love is always the answer with family members. It will come back tenfold, it does for me. :-)

I_Will_End_You

100% not your fault. And if you aren't living with her, and she's living with YOU, you should be able to buy whatever food you want. She real world isn't going to coddle her and keep delicious food away from her. Buying a little fridge would be a really nice thing for you to do, but her overeating is totally not your fault!

maab_connor

sabotage!!! how COULD you???

calliegirl1973

I can see why your aunt has the self-control of a toddler. Sounds like her entire family helps her blame everything but herself for her decisions.

this is how I feel.

silvergurl518

Meanwhile, in another thread, said aunt is complaining about her niece sabotaging her and not being supportive of her "journey."

Lol this. I'm sorry. Definitely get a mini fridge!

i agree. get a mini fridge (with a lock!)....deal with what you have to deal with in the family fridge....and know that none of this is your fault! .

IPAkiller

bmbaldridge

It sounds like your aunt needs to take some accountability for her own actions. IMO, if she had a big problem with it to begin with, she should have communicated it with you upfront. It's not your job to be a psychic and know what her food triggers are.

ddeverell1

I fully admit that I have a food addiction...that's why I am here now. Just like with any other addiction, you have to learn how to manage it. A recovering alcoholic has to learn how to have dinner with a group of people where liquor is served and still say no. Just like I have learned that, just because my friends order appetizers, pasta, steak, and/or dessert, that doesn't mean that I have to. Or I can have a bite or two and push it away. If there were a severe allergy (such as nuts) that could send her to the hospital, then yes, there may need to be some rules to eliminate the possibility of contamination. But the aunt cannot hold the rest of the family hostage simply because she hasn't learned to manage her addiction.

Mischievous_Rascal

Ummm...am I the only one completely grossed out that she ate two month old food? Hope her stomach was okay.