Social life and dieting
pforan70
Posts: 4 Member
Three months ago I started impact (cross training) mix of cardio and crossfit and I absolutely love it. Since beginning of January I've lost 30 pounds from 185 to 155. I feel great, look great and couldn't be happier. But nevertheless it comes with it's downfalls. To lose the weight obviously was on a strict diet and quit drinking (which I believe to be a huge factor in weight loss). Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise. As well as I guess you can say I'm a bit scared to get back on the old train I was on, drinking, eating whatever comes to mind because I put so much hard work into these last few months...
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Replies
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Do active, non-food, non-drinking things with your friends. Bowling, go-karts, laser tag, walking, flying kites, whatever…0
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You either need better friends or drink and eat pizza in moderation.
You can be healthy and fit and still enjoy the booze and pizza and burgers, which aren't unhealthy at all!0 -
My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.0 -
Well, are you a crazy crossfit nut bag? Have you considered the possibility, because that does happen? If so, maybe your friends aren't the "problem" here. On the other hand, if your friends truly are avoiding you because they want to eat pizza and drink beer around the clock and somehow feel like your refusal to join in with that behavior makes you a crappy friend, they don't sound like the deepest of people anyway.
Don't choose friends based on eating/drinking habits. Eat and let eat.
How active are your friends? It's possible that the real issue at hand is that they don't really "do stuff" either, which would make your new lifestyle quite the problem. Maybe you just don't have much in common anymore.0 -
My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.
This is wrong!
There are a lot of people on MFP who enjoy a social life and are healthy!0 -
Yes! My social life recently has been home -> work -> gym -> home. :yawn: I don't really care about the drinking because I rarely drink, but in my mind going out = overeating all the greasy, high fat cr@p.
All I can say is, you might have to do what I did. Re-evaluate your friendships. It doesn't seem like you have much in common with your friends. I'm not telling you to "dump" them but you might want to expand your friendships to include people who are living a healthier, more active life.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.
This is wrong!
There are a lot of people on MFP who enjoy a social life and are healthy!
Your wrong!0 -
I know I'm going to go out on Friday with my friends for happy hour with beers and deep fried snacks. I work it into my weekly plan and save up some calories from the other days. I can't go out like this every day obviously, but once or twice a week works out ok for me.0
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Best things about MFP forums is that you can have all the social life you wan right here and not even have to get out of your jammies.0
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Haha! Can totally relate and it just came down to ME totally embracing my new lifestyle and wearing it with pride! It's who I am and living like like I did before made me miserable. Plus... when they are all hungover and sick I'm waking up early, going to the gym and feeling awesome!
Seriously, eating healthy and not drinking does NOT make you lame...don't let them give you that mindset! It's really up to how you view it. In my experience if you embrace it, if your friends are really your friends then they will follow suit...in fact I challenge you to show them how hard core us 'healthy' people can actualy party and have fun!!0 -
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.
Finally, a guy who 'fesses up!
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My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.
This is wrong!
There are a lot of people on MFP who enjoy a social life and are healthy!
Your wrong!
It's "you're" honey.0 -
There's no need to let your dietary choices prevent you from hanging out with friends. I have a pretty active social life, I just plan out my night beforehand. I familiarized myself with various types of restaurant foods so I know what and how much will fit into my calorie goals. Are you going to be eating chicken wings and drinking 6 beers 3-4 nights a week? Nah. Can you do it every once in a while? Sure. Just make it fit. Work for it.
I've just lost a good friend to liver cancer yesterday. I am glad I spent the time with her that I did. You've made great strides with your body and your health, your social life doesn't have to suffer to keep that accomplishment.0 -
My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.
This is wrong!
There are a lot of people on MFP who enjoy a social life and are healthy!
Your wrong!
In your case I may be wrong, in a lot of other peoples cases including mine you are most definitely wrong.0 -
So what you're saying is that the options you laid out for yourself are "never going to drink beer or eat pizza or eat a burger for the rest of your life" or "going back to the way of eating that made you fat."Three months ago I started impact (cross training) mix of cardio and crossfit and I absolutely love it. Since beginning of January I've lost 30 pounds from 185 to 155. I feel great, look great and couldn't be happier. But nevertheless it comes with it's downfalls. To lose the weight obviously was on a strict diet and quit drinking (which I believe to be a huge factor in weight loss). Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise. As well as I guess you can say I'm a bit scared to get back on the old train I was on, drinking, eating whatever comes to mind because I put so much hard work into these last few months...0 -
My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.
This is wrong!
There are a lot of people on MFP who enjoy a social life and are healthy!
I TOTALLY second this!!! NO way does being healthy hamper a social life...seriously?? Being too busy...sure...but that has nothing to do with being healthy. (EDIT: I should probably rephrase...maybe for some it does...but in no way is that the rule or even necessary unless it is the person's choice imo)
Seriously, just embrace it...know this is who you are and maybe try finding some new social circles...you don't need that type of negativity in your life.
Like some of the stuff my friends and I do are all crazy fun and healthy...30 mile bike rides to the beach then racing up and down giant dunes for a couple hours, downhill skiing and snowboarding in the winter, hiking, rollerblading, ice skating, 3mile mud runs...etc. Serious fun that doesn't have us sick the next more (sore as heck - YES) LOL0 -
Do active, non-food, non-drinking things with your friends. Bowling, go-karts, laser tag, walking, flying kites, whatever…
I agree with this. Do stuff that doesn't focus your whole life around food or drinking, or if you do drink & eat, do it in moderation. You CAN have just ONE beer. You CAN order food and not eat the whole thing. People are very understanding once you explain why you aren't gorging yourself on drunk food and beer. My social life is getting there, I recently moved to Orlando which has so many more options of things to do that do not involve drinking.0 -
I've probably got more experience than most anybody here on this.
I have so many friends and family that don't even know what a gym looks like inside. Nor do they bother with how many calories are in a slice of pizza. They just eat and drink and party. And I party with them. I don't drink, and I only have a slice or 2 of pizza. We laugh, we BS, we hang out.
What I don't do is ever tell them "that's bad for you", "why are you eating that", "you need to work out", etc. I don't brag about how you good of shape I'm in, how much I can lift, etc.
The less of a "health nut" they see you as, the easier the social life.
I will say that Crossfit does have a mentality that is passed on that one should only eat a certain way (I hear it all the time from CFers) to achieve health and performance, when there are so many other variables involved. If you are one of those, then I can see why friends and family may be avoiding you.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise.
So, do you think your friends need to drink and eat pizza and burgers to make themselves happy? Do you think that statement was true about yourself when you were sitting right alongside them with the pizza and beer? Do you believe that your value as a person has increased now that you've cleaned up your diet and exercise, or are you still the same fantastic person you were before, just healthier?
I'm asking because this type of post comes up a lot here on MFP. Is it possible that your friends have a point, and that you have become so involved in your lifestyle change that you are neglecting your friendships? That you are being judgmental about their lifestyles now that you have made a change?
I think you might want to take some time and figure out if the problem is that you really don't have anything in common with your friends, or if you are avoiding social situations because of your own insecurities about eating and food. It's one thing to let a friendship go if you truly don't have anything in common, but it's another to blow off a friend because you can't figure out a way to be around them socially when it involves trigger foods. If they really are a good friend, then they are worth the effort to find a way to spend time with them, whether that means finding new activities or just learning to drink and eat in moderation.0 -
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
[. . .]
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
0 -
Three months ago I started impact (cross training) mix of cardio and crossfit and I absolutely love it. Since beginning of January I've lost 30 pounds from 185 to 155. I feel great, look great and couldn't be happier. But nevertheless it comes with it's downfalls. To lose the weight obviously was on a strict diet and quit drinking (which I believe to be a huge factor in weight loss). Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise. As well as I guess you can say I'm a bit scared to get back on the old train I was on, drinking, eating whatever comes to mind because I put so much hard work into these last few months...
You need more confidence in your decision making if you're afraid that hanging out with friends is going to put you "back on the old train" and spiraling out of control. A backbone is a wonderful thing to have.
ETA: If you go to a box, why not socialize with those people?0 -
I see no reason why you can't have a social life and be healthy at the same time, if you want to.
As others have said, if you simply have less in common with your friends these days, or if they have a bad attitude about the choices you've made recently, that's one thing. But if it really is just the beer and pizza holding you back, a little moderation goes a long way.
I only have one close friend that really enjoys being physically active when we hang out. The rest are much more inclined to want to go to the movies, to a bar, or out to eat. But I also do those things with my physically active friend. I can do that because the majority of the time, I'm sticking with my normal exercise routine, watching my nutrition, and staying within my calorie goal. A couple of beers or slices of pizza aren't going to affect my long-term progress.
And if you really don't want to eat a pizza or a burger, don't. Even when I'm out with friends, I have been known to order a large salad for dinner with dressing on the side just because I felt like I'd rather have a salad. You have to think not just about your short-term success but about your long-term goals and eat and exercise in a way that will help you reach them. If you're truly happy giving up the beer and pizza forever, that's cool. If you think you might want to incorporate these things back into your diet at some point in your life, then you'll want to find a way to balance it with your normal routine.0 -
My social life also took a nosedive when I was dieting, can't have wings and beer 2 - 3 nights a week!
My solution was get my current friends to do more active stuff I like, like paintball, hiking or working out. And then I made new friends who are more fit & active.
My current friends have said I've been a great influence on them, making them conscious of food choices and more likely to work out.0 -
I'm very fit and healthy and also have a social life that includes going out for beers with the fellas, hanging out on my patio grilling a burger and enjoying a margarita, etc. I find life is best enjoyed when you have balance...
Today is a great example of what I'm talking about...after a nice hardy breakfast of poached eggs, toast, bacon, and a banana out on my patio and enjoying a beautiful sunrise I am heading out on a 40 mile bike ride. When I get back I will enjoy my recovery smoothie and some lunch and take my eldest to the zoo for a couple hours. Around 4 this afternoon my sister and a couple other friends are coming over and we're going to fire up the grill and enjoy some margaritas and beers out on the patio and eat some steak. I will get up tomorrow morning and have some breakfast and go pump some iron soon after and then see where the day takes me.
Balance...moderation...they are beautiful things.0 -
Back during college it was the same situation for me. It ended up being my downfall and all my hard work was undone.
But, it was my fault. Not my friends, or their lifestyle. My lack of self-control was the problem.
It's unfortunate, but the only way you can make it work is to still hang out with your friends and practice self control.0 -
Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.
[. . .]
So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.
*claps*
Seriously though... the reason girls aren't going home with you probably has nothing to do with you being "too fit"...0 -
I've probably got more experience than most anybody here on this.
I have so many friends and family that don't even know what a gym looks like inside. Nor do they bother with how many calories are in a slice of pizza. They just eat and drink and party. And I party with them. I don't drink, and I only have a slice or 2 of pizza. We laugh, we BS, we hang out.
What I don't do is ever tell them "that's bad for you", "why are you eating that", "you need to work out", etc. I don't brag about how you good of shape I'm in, how much I can lift, etc.
The less of a "health nut" they see you as, the easier the social life.
I will say that Crossfit does have a mentality that is passed on that one should only eat a certain way (I hear it all the time from CFers) to achieve health and performance, when there are so many other variables involved. If you are one of those, then I can see why friends and family may be avoiding you.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I agree with this, if you don't push the healthy lifestyle, they won't push their lifestyle. My friends have been awesome as I changed my lifestyle. I even get some of them to do mud runs and 5Ks with me. That being said, I still go out for pizza and beer and chicken wings. I even go out and over indulge ever once in a while. I have also made new friends from the gym I belong to....a lot of them drink beer and eat pizza too though too.0 -
I think if you have good friends who support you then it should not be a problem. My friends and I all enjoy working out and living a healthy lifestyle. If we go out for good it is usually somewhere that serves Japanese food as being a vegan it is easy for me to eat and for them not being vegan to eat and for us all to be healthy and eat 'clean'
We do go out and drink sometimes but it's more like 2-3 times a year, and maybe a glass of wine with dinner. It's all about making your social interactions mix with your lifestyle. Maybe invite your friends to crossfit, go on a hike together. You can always go out with them and not drink. No one is forcing you to do that (if they are they aren't good friends).
At the end of the day you want to be happy with your self and part of that is doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy being around.0 -
I'm a lot older than you and I obviously can't relate as well, but I know I eat better than my friends. I can do a beer with that meal if I want, but not every night. I think mostly you are showing a lot of maturity and maybe you have out-grown your current friends. I also know it isn't easy to make new ones. I go to a Community Center to work out. I see guys walking into the basketball courts all the time to play. They just walk in. Sports and working out seem to be a good ice-breaker. I see many of these same guys lifting weights or on the treadmill. Friends are brought to us for a reason or a season. Maybe your friends' season and reason is up. Unlike someone said though, do not let MFP Forums become your social life. That is just sad. You look great. Find the confidence to make other changes, too.0
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So much hate0
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