Social life and dieting

linka411

I thought this was going to be a concern for me too when I started changing my eating habits, but like everyone said it's all about controlling yourself- if you're hanging out with friends, that's fine-go ahead and have some pizza-but just one or two slices (that's honestly enough to fill me up) and just have one or two drinks. It's all about moderation and self control.

For example, on fridays my husband and I usually do takeout as it's the one weeknight we have dinner together and to just generally celebrate friday. I know I'm going to be eating some high-calorie stuff, so I'll walk around a little more that day and try to eat a smaller amount beforehand to prepare. When the food does come, I measure it out if it's something I can do with that order (like chinese or pizza slices) and I put in as much self control as possible to limit myself to that amount of food. That way, I get to enjoy time with my husband, I have some of the food and I soften the blow on my calories.

corgarian

Working out is my new social life. The only friend I really enjoy even being around these days is my gym partner. lol

Jesea

I changed my lifestyle over two years ago. My husband and I still go out to dinner, we still meet friends for drinks (when we can get a sitter) and I have a fairly active social life. When I'm not working, I meet friends for lunch, coffee, or we get together as families for dinner. In fact, most of our social events include a meal. Sometimes I decide to eat and drink whatever I want and just work out harder the following week to make up for it. Sometimes I plan ahead, eat lightly and work out early in the day. Sometimes I just order a salad, and a light beer instead of wine.

I have the same friends as I did 2 years ago. We do the same things we did 2 years ago, although sometimes we get together and walk, play tennis, ride bikes, etc as well.

My choice to be healthier hasn't been a problem with my social life, in fact, it's the opposite, as I love to go out in new clothes and feel good about myself!

jsimon9676

I agree. You can still go out with them. If you don't drink, then maybe you could be the designated driver. You will feel better laughing with (or at) all of your friends and they will all get home safe because of you!

I've probably got more experience than most anybody here on this.

I have so many friends and family that don't even know what a gym looks like inside. Nor do they bother with how many calories are in a slice of pizza. They just eat and drink and party. And I party with them. I don't drink, and I only have a slice or 2 of pizza. We laugh, we BS, we hang out.
What I don't do is ever tell them "that's bad for you", "why are you eating that", "you need to work out", etc. I don't brag about how you good of shape I'm in, how much I can lift, etc.
The less of a "health nut" they see you as, the easier the social life.

I will say that Crossfit does have a mentality that is passed on that one should only eat a certain way (I hear it all the time from CFers) to achieve health and performance, when there are so many other variables involved. If you are one of those, then I can see why friends and family may be avoiding you.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

pforan70

No I'm not a "crazy crossfit nutbag" and thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. I do believe yes my friends are truly not my friends if they can't hang with me if i am leading this " healthy lifestyle". Maybe pursuing people whom have more in common is what I might head for...

pforan70

No I'm not saying either I will never eat a slice of pizza or a burger.... And yes on occasion such as last night I ate a burger... I'm saying that now that it's not an everyday thing where I just eat and drink w.e I want my friends think I'm some crazy guy doing some crazy diet.

hmg90

I'm the same.

Really it's easy to say "go for a walk with a friend instead", but how many people do that..anyone at all? Especially at 23.

I study and work part time, social time is in the evening. And that means dinner or usually, drinks. I've cut out alcohol entirely now too, as it is the only way for me. Not being very social.

I'm just comforting myself that it's temporary.

tiggerlgh

I thought this was going to be a concern for me too when I started changing my eating habits, but like everyone said it's all about controlling yourself- if you're hanging out with friends, that's fine-go ahead and have some pizza-but just one or two slices (that's honestly enough to fill me up) and just have one or two drinks. It's all about moderation and self control.

This! I have lost over 40 lbs and I still drink a glass of wine 2-3 nights a week and go out with friends, etc. Its just all about moderation. I always ask for water with my drink when I am out so that it lasts longer and other than rare occasions I only have 1 or 2 drinks when out and plan for the in my daily calories. It has not appeared to hurt my weight loss at all nor has my social life been impacted...in fact I am more confident now when I go out than I was before. This is not a diet its a lifestyle change...my lifestyle includes going out with friends... I am not going to stop.

daw0518

I'm the same.

Really it's easy to say "go for a walk with a friend instead", but how many people do that..anyone at all? Especially at 23.

I study and work part time, social time is in the evening. And that means dinner or usually, drinks. I've cut out alcohol entirely now too, as it is the only way for me. Not being very social.

I'm just comforting myself that it's temporary.

I can totally relate to this. I'm also a 23 year old student, & I'm sorry, but no one wants to hear that you're dieting. No one cares. No one wants to go for a walk or to the gym with you to socialize. They want to go do something fun & relaxing, which is valid. It's just difficult when it's more often then once every week or two.

Today I had a friend who just got divorced invite me over to 'gorge myself' because she's making all the foods her ex hated. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been off track the last two weeks & have finally been under my calorie goal two days in a row again. I absolutely don't want to go and definitely don't want to 'gorge myself' but I feel obligated to go & support her. & saying 'sorry, I can't come because I'm trying to eat right & don't want to eat your food because it won't fit into my calorie goals' sounds a little bit ridiculous, even to me.

My advice to the OP would be to eat the pizza & drink the beer once in awhile. Other times, it's okay to say no. Everything in moderation. Your friends will probably get over it when the novelty wears off.

craftywitch_63

I'm the same.

Really it's easy to say "go for a walk with a friend instead", but how many people do that..anyone at all? Especially at 23.

I study and work part time, social time is in the evening. And that means dinner or usually, drinks. I've cut out alcohol entirely now too, as it is the only way for me. Not being very social.

I'm just comforting myself that it's temporary.

I can totally relate to this. I'm also a 23 year old student, & I'm sorry, but no one wants to hear that you're dieting. No one cares. No one wants to go for a walk or to the gym with you to socialize. They want to go do something fun & relaxing, which is valid. It's just difficult when it's more often then once every week or two.

Today I had a friend who just got divorced invite me over to 'gorge myself' because she's making all the foods her ex hated. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been off track the last two weeks & have finally been under my calorie goal two days in a row again. I absolutely don't want to go and definitely don't want to 'gorge myself' but I feel obligated to go & support her. & saying 'sorry, I can't come because I'm trying to eat right & don't want to eat your food because it won't fit into my calorie goals' sounds a little bit ridiculous, even to me.

My advice to the OP would be to eat the pizza & drink the beer once in awhile. Other times, it's okay to say no. Everything in moderation. Your friends will probably get over it when the novelty wears off.

I'm 50. I wish I could tell you it gets easier as you get older, but it doesn't.

hmg90

Today I had a friend who just got divorced invite me over to 'gorge myself' because she's making all the foods her ex hated. There's nothing wrong with that, but I've been off track the last two weeks & have finally been under my calorie goal two days in a row again. I absolutely don't want to go and definitely don't want to 'gorge myself' but I feel obligated to go & support her. & saying 'sorry, I can't come because I'm trying to eat right & don't want to eat your food because it won't fit into my calorie goals' sounds a little bit ridiculous, even to me.

That sounds pretty unhealthy for your friend too. I think these "binge" or "drink up" get togethers after break ups are kind of glorified - it's supposed to be an okay thing to do but it just doesn't stop there. It doesn't make anyone feel better and at worst it develops into regular comfort eating or alcohol problems. I would know, I drowned my heartache in wine and gin in the past, and alcohol is an issue for me now. I can't have one or two glasses, I have to cold turkey.

Obviously this is up to your friend, but it is a little silly to force friends to eat unhealthy foods your ex-husband hated. Excuse me for saying so, but that doesn't sound like something a grown up would do.
Maybe you could bring some other healthier food as well and direct the evening into talking instead?

SezxyStef

This is funny...you have the social life you want..

calorie counting and going to the gym does not prevent a social life it opens up another one...

by the sounds of it this 41 year old has a better social life than these single 20 somethings...wow..

Gotta go...gotta get ready for a dance with friends where I fit in my 6 drinks and a snack for later...and I might even have more than 6 drinks depends on how I feel after number 6

DuckDynastyMakesMeLaugh

This is funny...you have the social life you want..

calorie counting and going to the gym does not prevent a social life it opens up another one...

by the sounds of it this 41 year old has a better social life than these single 20 somethings...wow..

Gotta go...gotta get ready for a dance with friends where I fit in my 6 drinks and a snack for later...and I might even have more than 6 drinks depends on how I feel after number 6

+1 :drinker:

laineybz

Before I started losing weight and getting healthier, I'd eat out maybe twice or so a week. Knowing what i know now, seems I always ate the most unhealthiest foods going! Eating out was just the "social" thing for me and my friends to do.

Now, we go for walks, exercise and a good chance to have a catch up! As some of my friends now have kids, we go to parks and things too. Don't get me wrong though, i still eat out just nowhere near as frequent.

Iwishyouwell

Three months ago I started impact (cross training) mix of cardio and crossfit and I absolutely love it. Since beginning of January I've lost 30 pounds from 185 to 155. I feel great, look great and couldn't be happier. But nevertheless it comes with it's downfalls. To lose the weight obviously was on a strict diet and quit drinking (which I believe to be a huge factor in weight loss). Since all these changes my social life has diminished and my friends think I'm some crazy crossfit nut bag and lame now because I don't drink and eat pizza everyday. Nevertheless I'm happy where I'm at and I really don't need to drink and eat foods such as pizza and burgers to make me happy. I guess my question is has anyone run into these problems where friends just don't get you or your social life has diminished due to your diet and exercise. As well as I guess you can say I'm a bit scared to get back on the old train I was on, drinking, eating whatever comes to mind because I put so much hard work into these last few months...

You've got a new lifestyle. Real friends will deal with it, and drop the ones who can't. Also why not make some new friends that are reflective of where you are in life now?

If you allow your current crew to derail you, trust me, all you'll have left at the end of the day is a fatter body and the same sucky *kitten* friends who won't give a damn that your goals and dreams have been crushed.

Iwishyouwell

My experience has been that social life and healthy life do not mix well. Not just when going out with friends or on a date, but just going out to watch a game, just going out on weekends. Social life is so intricately linked to drinking in our society.

Lets pretend you are not drinking, and just have an ice water - fine and dandy, but you arent getting buzzed either and that middle aged woman sitting over there is not gonna get any younger without a shot or 2.

So you order fish when you go out - they still batter it in butter.

So you bring your own snacks to the movies, that girl you took is not gonna go home with you.

Pretty much your social life is MFP as a healthy person. Girls will drool over your 6 pack, then go out and bring home a fat slob for the night.

Nonsense. Not a big drinker, never have been. Have plenty of amazing friends, most of whom are drinkers to various degrees.

I make friends with people who understand that I don't give two healthy, good damns what they may, or may not, think about what goes in my mouth. I wish one of my friends would make a comment, or try and pressure me. Would never happen though. I don't make communal decisions about my body, my diet, or my goals.

GertrudeHorse

If you can't live a healthy life and also socialise then you're doing it wrong. You have either chosen the wrong friends to socialise with or your definition of "healthy" is unsustainable and not at all healthy. Socialising is an important part of mental well-being and is just as important for health as eating your veggies.

ETA: In case you didn't realise it's also possible for you to stay sober while socialising with other people who are drinking. The fact this even needs to be said is a bit of a worry tbh...

lovelayla

Honestly, I drink every weekend. My drinks are just different. I used to drink about twice a week and have Sugary margaritas and colorful girl drinks. Now, I pick one day a week to drink and my mixers are diet soda or 5 calorie Minute maid Peach.

I also went from drinking a whole bottle of Vodka/tequila AND 2-3 beers in one night to half a bottle of Tequila or Vodka. I know that most of my weight problems came from liquids,I'm not having a hard time at all with the eating part.

On drinking nights I just eat lighter during the day, and I weigh my booze before it touches my mouth. I weigh out enough for the whole night.

On other days when I'm being social we go to the movies, bowl, hike, catch a play or go to the museum. Dancing is always fun! I go to the bars with my friends I just sneak in the mini bottles and order diet soda. Or I drink before we go.

Finally, how about you make friends with your crossfit Buddies? They will understand your new lifestyle.Or invite your regular friends out to do more active things..Paintball, lasertag,bumpercars...