WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2014

gmom316

Good Morning,

Looks like the last of our beautiful days for a while. I'd love to get out for a nice, long morning walk but I'm pretty sure I won't be getting my child on board so it's looking like the treadmill. Technically an "off day" but I think a brisk, mind clearing walk is always a good thing.

It also might make up for some of my "sins" from yesterday. I couldn't get Aaron interested in wanting to do anything until I mentioned the neighbored "bar" to eat pizza and throw some darts. He jumped all over that suggestion so we walked (about 3/4 mile each way). Point is I ate some junky food I don't normally eat but didn't get too crazy.

Margaret, you're very correct, there is no timetable on grief and I have to keep reminding myself that I'm in the beginning stages of this process. Some days I'm "fine", other days I just don't want to be bothered with anyone or anything, other days I'm sad. Overall, I have a pretty good grip on things and manage to keep life in perspective but it doesn't change the fact that some things just don't "go away". Going through some of my mom's things this week shook things up also.

Been enjoying reading about everyone's adventures and activities and feeling empathetic for those hitting the bumps/potholes in the road of life. After reading all these "mom stories" is it any wonder many of us battle with food and self esteem. No rewind buttons so we can all just keep doing the best we can and live each day.

Have an old lady cat pestering me for food so off I go. Have a great day!

xo-Gloria in Metro Detroit

Cindy781

Happy Saturday Ladies,

What I am learning from all the Mom stories is that "it's not just me". Thank you all for sharing them.

Simbikat, thank you for the lovely poem.

Bunny people, thank you for the stories.

Amanda, Big Hugs.

Cynthia, hugs to you too,

We are going to the theatre this afternoon so I have to get moving.

Have a wonderful day everyone. I read the posts and hugs to all!

Cindy in OK

margaretturk

Good Morning,

Enjoyed the phenomenal woman poem.

Deedee will miss you.:drinker:

Cindy thank you for the hug.

Meg so sorry about your cousin. Hard to see him not improving.:flowerforyou:

Vicki thank you for your hugs for my son and me.

Katla thank you for your kind thoughts.

Kathrine I am picturing your blue oatmeal. I imagine it tasted good, but its appearance had something to be desired.

Sandy loved your NSV.

Sylvia I am glad you had that healing moment with your mother. When I look back at my parents I feel the hurt and the strength they passed onto me. Now as an adult I somewhere in there realized I had to become my own parent. In doing so I had to give them and myself compassion for our mistakes.

Kim thank you for your support. I am recognizing those points in my life where grief became stuck and the consequences that ensued. I cannot go back only surround those moments in love and take the knowledge with me into today. So I can build a better today.

Heather I am beginning to understand what you mean when you talk about being kind to yourself with compassion. One of the things I am noticing is it takes the sting out of blame. When the blame is gone it removes being a victim. I accept the losses for what they are and do not feel entitled to have things happen the way I want. I learned the person who needs to rescue me is me by the choices I make.

Today I will spend time again with another friend in enjoying a shop specializing in Easter decorations just for fun, so I wake up to a healthier tomorrow.

2014 word: contentment

Margaret

margaretturk

Gloria kind thoughts to you during this difficult time. Hugs and :flowerforyou:

terewilliams

Hi Ladies!
I had a very hectic work week. Re-examined some family issues! :frown:

I thought I would catch up this morning but found you had continued on..so I'll have to catch up tomorrow evening from Page 16!

I have my oldest GD this weekend after attending a hat and tea party today for my SIL after cleaning my house up while washing clothes.:sad: So I'll be running around like chicken with its head cut off! I ought to lose at least a pound by the end of the day! Watch out Grandmallie I might catch up with you today!:laugh:

Catch up with you later! Enjoy your Saturday!:flowerforyou:

bwcetc

Good morning! Hope you all have a great weekend!

Gloria ... congratulations on the lost 2 inches ... pounds lost can't be too far behind!

So sorry many of you have or had mom issues. My mom and I had our moments ... especially when I was younger, but I love her dearly! Hoping to see her this week ... it's been a couple months since our last visit.

Finally, some good weather... have to enjoy it while it lasts!

Beth in WNY

Katla49

Meg and Jill: Congratulations! I’m so glad you were able to have brunch and enjoyed yourselves. Pictures would have been nice, but your telling about it is good enough for me. :flowerforyou: Putting your DD in my prayers. I hope her situation is not as bad as she seems to fear. :flowerforyou:

Barb in EWV: Your county parks program sounds wonderful. I hope you enjoy every minute of your walks. They’ll help you feel better and eventually be healthier.:flowerforyou:

Alison: Good news that your DH is logging the miles and getting healthier. Maybe his attitude will improve along with his health. Nice of you to grannysit so DB and DSIL can have a night out and some fun.:flowerforyou:

1GirlRiot: Welcome.:flowerforyou:

Joyce: We take our cans and bottles to the Humane Society as part of an ongoing fundraiser. They’re worth about a nickel each. DH started this practice because he hates taking them back to the stores for to get the deposits back. Now we’re feeling good about helping the animals. Your daughter’s ex sounds like a troubled soul. I hope he is doing a better job with his second marriage and your daughter finds someone who will be faithful.:flowerforyou:

Barbie: Your line dance wedding celebration sounds fun and touching. I guess I missed important information about Jake. I’m glad to hear that he is feeling better and sorry about the night pain. I am always in awe of all the exercise and dancing you do. :flowerforyou:

Eileen in San Diego: I hope you have a great visit with your sister, father, and son.:flowerforyou:

Renny: Enjoy your toddler. When I am with DGD I take her on long walks and rest while she’s napping.:flowerforyou:

Sylvia: Congratulations on the lovely dinner and successful shirt shopping.:flowerforyou:

Sue in TN: I’m happy that you had a nice day going to yard sales. :flowerforyou:

Kim in N. Cal: You may have takers on your guest room. It will be fun to find out. We usually go east to CO or N to the Seattle area to visit our kids. I haven’t done a lot of advance meal planning, and we’ve pretty much eaten what we always did but not nearly as much. Between us, we have a substantial list of foods we have had to avoid for years. Our main strategy is portion control, so we weigh & measure everything. We have made changes to eliminate unhealthy calories. We eliminated chips and most crackers. We’ve switched to dry toast and have learned to like it. We eat considerably less fried food, although it is occasionally on the menu. We have more homemade soups, (not canned,) and salads than before. I’m sure there are others who are detailed planners here. Perhaps they can offer suggestions.:flowerforyou:

Cynthia: Congratulations on a reaching an important milestone!:drinker: :flowerforyou:

Amanda: Your mom and mine seem to have been approximate opposites. Mine was shy, frigid and had no sense of self worth, but I always knew she loved me. I could never understand her and always thought she was beautiful and talented. I will never be my mother, either.:flowerforyou:

Heather: I love hearing about your children and grandchildren. I’m happy you had such a good time.:flowerforyou:

Simbikat: I love the poem. Thanks for sharing.
:flowerforyou:

We have a beautiful, breezy and sunshiny day outside, and a planned dinner with our sailing friends this evening. I want to soak in some Vitamin D and enjoy what ever we decide to do.

Katla in gorgeous, breezy & sunny NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison


April Goals:

1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Move more: cardio at least 3 days a week and strength training when able.
3. Find a way to have fun at least once every day.
4. Water: Pay attention to water intake and drink frequently during the day.

kayduro

OK, I have to talk about the mother issue too. Mine was horrible all the time I was growing up. She was hateful to me, told me I was ugly and stupid, and often told me she hated me. She tried to control all of us, but somehow I was her favorite to torture. When I was young, maybe 7 or 8, my parents got a divorce, although they continued to live in the same house and did not tell anyone else they were divorced. My mother showed me the divorce papers though, and told me it was all my fault because my dad loved me more than her, but that I shouldn't ever tell anyone because then they would hate me as much as she does. My dad was very cold to me after that too, where before he was my only friend. They got remarried when I was in high school, and I was the only one that knew about that too. I got a scholarship to an art college close to home but she insisted I go into the Air Force instead. (She wanted me out of the house.) She said if I did she would never ask me for anything ever again. I didn't stand up to her then, and always regretted it. After I got out of the Air Force, and separated from my abusive ex-husband, she insisted I move back to where she lived, and she would help me get back on my feet. After one day - on my birthday - she threw me and my 4-year old son out. I finally moved 200 miles away to get away from her. We didn't talk much in her later years, but I did go to the nursing home when she was dying. At one point she drew me close and whispered "I love you more than you will ever know." That was the only time in my life she said she loved me. I have to admit that I felt better. Somehow all the crap before was sort of neutralized.

I really sympathize with those of you with mother issues. I often wonder how many overweight women had issues like that with their mothers and how it contributed to our weight issues. I know whenever I tried to lose weight my mother would sabotage my efforts, like making raisin pie and if I didn't want to eat it she would guilt me into it saying she made it because she knew it was my favorite.

Enough of this stroll down memory lane. Gotta get back to work.

Sylvia

I love this ONLY because of the happy ending. I'm so glad you were able to get the "I love you..." Before she took her last breath. Cannot imagine the hurt you felt growing up.

skuehn48

Bump to find my place. This group seems to move so fast and I must leave to go to cantata rehearsal. Sue in SD

mamacindy81

bump

jfenner141

Yep, Meg and I had a wonderful time. It was definitely like getting together with an old friend. It would have been nice to have a picture, but we did have a good laugh about both of us having dumb phones. Meg's picture on MFP does not do her justice. :happy:
I'll add a picture from the awards dinner:blushing:

Jill in western MA

kathrineb57

Good Afternoon Beautiful Ladies, I thought I would read a bit and then go grocery shopping. Frankly, I hate to shop. I do make a meal plan for a few days, and I do make a shopping list. I feel better and in control of my eating when I make a meal plan.

Kim in N Cal - meal planning is hard to do for me. My brain just seem to go blank on what the heck to eat. I am sure that the more I do this activity, the easier it will get. We are all creatures of habit and we really do eat the same meals all the time. So go with that idea, write down what you like, make it healthy, and it is okay to have that same meal in one week with a slight change ( a salad, a new veggie, etc.) I have vowed to keep it simple, and to pretty much concentrate on my breakfast meals right now. Once I decide on a half dozen breakfast ideas that work for me, I plan to work on my lunch menu, And so on.

Kim in N Cal - Funny you should mention mindless eating... this has been on my mind recently. (haha sorry for the pun) I know this is a big sabotage factor for me. The last time I went to the library I browsed the Mindless Eating Books. And got totally boggled with medical jargon. Then I came across a brochure on the bulletin board; it was for a class here on Kansas University campus at the KU Psychological Clinic. It is called FOOD & YOU. A 4 week session, a mindfulness based skills group designed to explore your relationship with nourishment. i signed up for the next one. And I plan to discuss what you said about mindful eating for this is so me. Thank you for putting it down in words.

Cynthia - A big YOO -HOO, way to go girl on our 10% milestone! What is after "regular obese"? Hopefully no more "obese" categories.

Well, that took off into a 15 minutes spiel. I best get going. I hope everyone has a good day. Be Healthy and Strong Woman.
Kathrine in Kansas

CynthiaT60

Cynthia - A big YOO -HOO, way to go girl on our 10% milestone! What is after "regular obese"? Hopefully no more "obese" categories.

Kathrine in Kansas

Hi Kathrine! After "regular obese" is "overweight". I'll be glad when I'm overweight. :laugh:
Cynthia

P.S. I don't like grocery shopping either.

Sasha4427

Hello all,
Barbie, I loved the wedding story and could imagine the waltz to "Could I Have This Waltz...", made me feel that funny prickling in your eyes you get when you tear up. I love to hear second time around stories.

I've been away for a few days at a conference. It was in a rural area and I was absolutely amazed at how they showcased their local food products and businesses. The town is only around 5000 but the conference was better organized than some I've been to in major metropolitan areas. And the barn dance in a horse arena was an absolute blast. However, dancing in sand to a live western band left me with extremely sore feet and I discovered that I am no longer able to dance and party two nights in a row. I guess that means I am aging even though I don't feel like it most of the time. I did okay on the food, but not great. I kept telling myself that it was wonderful healthy food and well prepared, but I still ate more of it than I should have. Maybe it will only be a blip on the scale (wishful thinking probably).

I've been reading your mom stories and hurting for you. My biological mother died when I was 3 and all of the siblings (11 - seriously -11) were scattered. Some of us wound up close geographically, especially we three youngest. My next older sister, 18 mos apart,and I were adopted together. My younger sister, the baby, was adopted by my adoptive father's brother and wife. So she is my cousin by law and my sister by birth. We were always aware of the situation (after all I was 3 and my other sister 5 so we had previous memories anyway) but we have been close all our lives. She and I both had wonderful relationships with our adoptive parents, but my older sister didn't bond the same way. Long story short, relationships with parents can be so different even in the same family. I feel blessed to have been given a second chance at a family and feel I was raised very successfully. I feel my children have been as well and I hope will carry on loving relationships in whatever family arrangement they end up in. My parents, and my sister's parents, have passed away already so we have no older generation in our lives and I often envy some of you on here with parents to care for.

That might be in the area of "TMI" but I felt very close to those of you who shared your parental experience. So, there it is. LOL.

I think I'm going outside in this wonderful sunshine today and do some walking with the furbabies. I missed them for a couple of days so the ramble will be nice for all of us.

Lila in the sunny Kootenays, SE BC CA (don't you just love abbreviations?)

lindastanley82

Great finding a topic for 50+ women! Hello to all of you. I live in Denton, TX (near Dallas) and need all the encouragement and friends I can get to stay motivated and accountable. Help me out ladies!

nccarolb

Good afternoon! I've read but can't remember crap anymore, so I'm going to comment on some stuff and hope everyone sees the ones that pertain to them.

1. I've read a lot of Joanne Fluke books. I like them!

2. I loved the Maya Angelou poem. To some degree that described me in my teenage years. My marriage drained that right out of me (as well as put on 100+ pounds) but I'm regaining the attitude if not the attention as I lose the weight.

3. My parents were verbally and physically abusive when I was growing up. A lot of my image issues come from my mother telling me that I was fat and criticizing EVERYTHING that I wore that she didn't pick out. I remember having a really pretty sundress when I was 19 and my boyfriend thought I looked amazing in it. All my mother could do was tell me how awful that little touch of fat (that pretty much everyone has) where the underarm meets the body looked. She is the main reason I have always been incredibly self conscious about my upper arms. My father was derisive and kept telling me to act like a lady. I have always wanted to tell him that, if he treated me like a lady instead of working me like a horse, that I might do better. And, both of them were fine with my brother constantly telling me how ugly, stupid, and fat I was. And, may I mention, that I was NOT fat! We all have a civil relationship now. In fact, my mother and I get along great. My relationship with my father is not as good, but I did stand up to him very vehemently when he called my niece "Fatty" when she was about five. He's much more careful around me now.

4. I do meal planning most of the time. It's usually for the workdays so that I have food prepared/planned so that I don't grab junk because I'm hungry when I get home. I've also begun planning my snacks better so that I'm not starving when I walk in the door. My plans may depend on what I find interesting at the grocery store or, when I'm short on cash, what I have in my freezer and pantry. If I've found a good recipe, I'll get the ingredients to try it.

5. As for what I miss, I also miss the "mindless" eating. Now I have to think hard about what restaurants I can eat at, what foods I have to avoid, and saving the calories to be able to eat out at all. I avoid a lot of things I like because they simply too high in calories although, I find substitutes for most of them. I'm hoping that those things will become less of an issue later, but I'm certain that I will always have to keep and eye on the calories--unless I become a professional athlete when I grow up! :laugh:

I am so behind on steps today! I have been going all day with cleaning, cooking, and laundry, but those tasks don't take many steps so I will need to make a concentrated effort to make up the difference. I finally officially upped my step goal from 10,000 to 11,000 per day. The difficulty comes in not the actual physicality, but the time it takes to do that much.

For the cooking part of my day, I peeled a number of apples that I had that were getting kind of shriveled and sliced them into a baking dish with some Splenda, spices, and corn starch like I was making a cobbler. Instead of a crust, I just put them in to bake and am going to sprinkle some Kashi Go Lean Crunch on top before I eat them. I was going to try baking the cereal on top for just a few minutes, but I decided to just sprinkle it on top along with my scoop of no sugar added ice cream. I may try baking it on top next time.

The boy child really messed up my day today! He wouldn't get out of bed which, in addition to a lack of progress in getting things done, meant he was incredibly cranky. Then he randomly decided that he had to be at work 30 minutes earlier than he had told me so I ended up not getting to eat what I had planned. And, this is not his fault, but his work day today is from 2 - 7 p.m. Right in the middle of my day!! I guess I will need to eat an early dinner or a good snack for a late dinner.

Oh well, sitting here is not getting work done nor is it getting steps in so off I go...

Carol in borderline hot NC

lapierrecyclist

Hi everyone, I'm also new to the group, and very happy to see that so many have had success in getting fitter and losing weight.
That's inspiring!

I'm 54, and celebrating my 16th wedding anniversary today (we have a 10-year-old daughter). I started cycling again in March and want to get back to the gym and lifting weights as well. The cycling by itself doesn't seem to be budging the rolls around my middle much, now that I'm on the other side of menopause. I'm 5'4" and about 160 lbs right now. But I love getting out on my bike, and I do find that my stamina has increased quite a bit.

cityjaneLondon

I don't know if this helps at all for those having difficulty with meal planning, but I divide my dsy thus - 430 cals breakfast which includes my daily milk allowance of half a pint of semi skimmed milk. 400 cals lunch. 200 cals afternoon snack. 400 cals dinner. 150 cals dessert. 70 cals alcohol. If I have exercised enough then 100 cals cheese! ! ! ! ! (I have 1200 cals plus exercise which is generally 450 - 500.)
I keep a lot of meat and fish in the freezer and make sure there are always veg and salad in the fridge. Each morning I decide what to get out of the freezer for dinner. If I were working I would have to do it the night before. Lunch is often bread based, but sometimes I make a salad with grains or shiritaki noodles. I find this plan makes it easier to keep on target.
I have a repertoire of recipes which come in at 400 cals or less. We rarely eat out. I am lucky that I am retired, but I know that many of you find the slow cooker invaluable for work days.
Hope this helps.:bigsmile: :flowerforyou: :drinker:

Had a good hour hoeing the veg beds. This evening we had our own broccoli and herbs. Our own rhubarb for dessert. Gives me so much pleasure.

Love and hugs to all. My DSIL'S father died yesterday afternoon. Not missed by many, but missed by her. She iis a lovely person and feeling the strain right now.

Heather in Hampshire UK

janemartin02

Good afternoon Ladies.
Welcome all the new ladies,you`ll love this group.:drinker: :flowerforyou:
Beautiful day-in the 70`s
Finally seeing the scale move0.4 lb,i`ll take it.:drinker:
Enjoy your day.
hugs
jane

mollywhippet

Hello everyone! I hope you are all having a great Saturday. It's beeeeeautiful here! Rain tomorrow, but that's ok.

Here's the joke of the day:

:happy:
Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball point pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of the patients to try and open the door for him as part of the test. Seven of them rushed out and attempted to open the door on the wall. The doctor was disappointed with the results but never the less called on the last one who was still sitting down and asked him why didn’t he stand up and try to open the door with the others. The eighth man replied: “because I was holding the key to the door”
:laugh:

And today's pearl of wisdom:

Me Time
Try not to lose yourself in motherhood, because you are more than just a mom. Remember the you before becoming a mom and take the time to do the things that you loved doing. Always schedule some time to yourself to enjoy being you.
:flowerforyou:

Sylvia