Okcupid
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aaaaaaand yet another vote for MOVE THE HELL ON!
Get outta there! If you think he isnt looking for a hookup somewhere you're mistaken.
He's just going to keep doing what he is doing, no offense men, but ya'll seem to find a niche way of scouting hookups (bars, dating sites, picking people up off forums, ect) and stick with it.
Why would you post something like this and expect anything but the GET OUTS and LEAVE HIMS.......
Also, way to lump all men together on that one.0 -
This is patently wrong. Consuming pornography does not inherently lead to "addiction", nor is it inherently harmful to relationships. Pornography consumption is, in fact, okay (especially if it's something that both you and your partner are comfortable with). Fear-mongering (based upon a visceral reaction) and comparing pornography consumption to infidelity are not okay.Everyone will tell you porn is okay. Its not. It can be an addiction as well. If he isnt willing to get help then leave him. Its scary, but its the right thing to do. And get counseling for yourself. It wont be easy,
What SHE said!^ Watching porn does not equal addiction. There are sex addicts out there... Does that mean everyone should stop having sex?
I believe she was trying to say watching porn can lead to an addiction to it, which is true. I've witnessed it! But, I don't think it is wrong if both partners are okay with it. If the other person voices their concerns and does not like the other watching porn, then they either need to respect that and not watch it, or move on.0 -
Ever consider he might be cheating while at work, or on work time?0
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Here are my two cents.
My ex-husband, an IT guy, tried to hide all kinds of stuff from me but I got smarter about computers. Your SO is just making more accounts you don't know about yet and he's just getting better at hiding it. My ex swore he wasn't cheating but his girlfriend moved in the day after I took the plunge and moved out for a trial separation. I found her in our bed when I went to pick up my glasses that I forgot. I was not gone for 24 hours and she had already cleaned out my side of the closet by throwing my clothes in the trash.
Now even if he hasn't physically cheated on you he has emotionally cheated on you and IMO there is no difference between the two.
Finally, I would try to strongly suggest counseling because there are children involved here. Even if your relationship can't be fixed do your best to make it a smooth transition for your kids.0 -
Discuss your position calmly and give him respectful time to share his without judgement. Plan a nice day to do this, like a day in the park with no kids, not the dominant and vengeful "we need to talk" thing from TV shows.Then work on a resolution, positive or negative. If you approach with confrontational tones or blatant disgust and disappointment, he will lie.
or hire Cheaters.0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
Going to jump into this convo here: I had a set of friends that were engaged a few years back. The guy was caught on a dating site "just answering questions" and his fiance forgave him. I didn't buy his bull crap and I sat down, found the passwords to a private unknown email, and what do you know it was the email used for a different dating profile. I went further and messaged a few people that visited his profile often or his recurring previously viewed...got responses that were like "pick up where we left off?" and "when are we going to meet up again?"
In the end, I caught him having sex with three other women over a summer...god knows how many before then. Needless to say, after I showed the evidence to the female fiance...she got the hell out of there and never looked back.
I know it's not always that cut and dry with relationships and this sort of thing, but I say if you are unhappy in that relationship and he won't change then leave.
Hacked into his email account and his online dating account? Caught him having sex with 3 different women? And he wasn't even your fiancé? Damn lady, are you a P.I. or something? If so, can I hire you?0 -
I agree with the previous responses.
Either agree to a polygamous relationship or move.
There is nothing in polyamory that condones a lying , cheating *kitten* like this. Get tested for STDs and kick his *kitten* to the curb.0 -
Run, and run as far and fast as you can.
My now ex maintained his OKC profile after we started dating. I found out about it one night when we were by his computer while he was checking his email before going out. I caught in the corner of my eye a bunch of OKC notifications. I asked him about it, and he claimed he was helping a friend with their profile (right). I was under the impression both our accounts had been disabled when we started dating. I was dumb and believed him. He said he deleted it, and life went on.
Wouldn't you know it, right after I dumped him he was almost immediately back on the website.
If he's hidden stuff in the past, he's just gotten more crafty now. Checking emails and keeping tabs on him does not make for a healthy relationship for either party, and it shows there's no trust left. Would you rather know that something may be happening, and feeling like you need to keep tabs, or to be single and have some peace of mind that you don't have to worry about that kind of stuff anymore?0 -
Is this wrong...probably..is it conniving.... sure..but if you're really all that worried about what he's doing..create a fake email..create a fake okcupid..randomly message him..do some flirting..see how far he takes it. any respectable man would be up front with a woman coming onto him and let her know he wasn't available. Thats the only way you'll ever know for sure what he's up to. If it were me, i'd have probably cut ties the minute i found out he was still using his okcupid account. My boyfriend and I met there and both deactivated our accounts permanently once we became official.0
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I have a membership to okcupid and I never talked to anyone on there.I don't think they work.Maybe for some but I don't know how someone could talk to someone on there.If I were u I would first get tested for STD then dumb him.There is a nice guy out there for u just have to find him.I don't know why guys cheat but some losers do.I am 33 and never been in a relation and to my knowledge no girl has ever liked me like that so I pretty much given up.I have no friends and I just stay at home.0
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I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
I really hope this was sarcasm.0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
1. you are banned from using the word slore EVER again. EVER.
2. you have got to be ****ing kidding me.0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
I really hope this was sarcasm.
I was just about to say the same thing..for goodness sake don't go changing yourself to please a man. Small things sure..but he should love you for you.
Sounds like to me he may have a slight sex addiction..maybe not. but I know from expeience with a ex that the situations are similar and if thats the case he will only change when he wants too..nothing you can do at home will change it..its an addiction. It wouldn't have mattered to my ex if I were an actual porn star living with him and at his beck and call 24/7 he craved the online interaction with other women..it makes them feel wanted..or validated. Like I said though..may not be the case.0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
I really hope this was sarcasm.
I am sorry if it sound like a sarcasm.. But think carefully, we,ladies spend less time with our partner/spouse during weekdays,only family time at weekends. Basically we are only talking to our men for less than 5hrs every day.
Men can do online chatting while at work,even at home with us. So..instead of nagging him or having argument..do the opposite ways to get his attention0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
I really hope this was sarcasm.
I am sorry if it sound like a sarcasm.. But think carefully, we,ladies spend less time with our partner/spouse during weekdays,only family time at weekends. Basically we are only talking to our men for less than 5hrs every day.
Men can do online chatting while at work,even at home with us. So..instead of nagging him or having argument..do the opposite ways to get his attention
Maybe in your case..but if I talked to my spouse anymore than I already do, we'd grow tired of each other quickly. We talk non stop..I can see where you were coming from..but she shouldn't change the way she dresses or even change her body to stop him from straying...thats just crazy talk. If he were unhappy with the way things were in life..then he should be adult enough to man up and start a conversation about it..then they could make changes TOGETHER..this came off as you putting all the blame on her.0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
I really hope this was sarcasm.
I was just about to say the same thing..for goodness sake don't go changing yourself to please a man. Small things sure..but he should love you for you.
Sounds like to me he may have a slight sex addiction..maybe not. but I know from expeience with a ex that the situations are similar and if thats the case he will only change when he wants too..nothing you can do at home will change it..its an addiction. It wouldn't have mattered to my ex if I were an actual porn star living with him and at his beck and call 24/7 he craved the online interaction with other women..it makes them feel wanted..or validated. Like I said though..may not be the case.
If the man is a keeper, we change ourselves to improve relationship..Because you have children
If the man is not a keeper..Do as you see it right..which is Move on0 -
I hafta say this. YOU NEVER KNOW for sure if he hasnt cheated on you. I hate to be that jerk that says it, but someone has to. I feel as though dudes never really change unless they want to. You'll probably never get him to stop watching porn but the OK cupid stuff? Even the fact that he's making multiple profiles on there just screams SHADY CHEATER to me. :-(
I hope whatever you decide to do works out the way you want it to.
Very true, thanks. For the past few months i've been checking his emails and what not, but either he has stopped, or he has gotten smarter. And to be honest, not sure about the past but these days he does not have time to cheat physically. He goes to work, comes home, weekends he doesn't go out by himself, so I know his whereabouts.
They rarely quit doing the thing that they're doing, From experience, its not that they get "smarter" they get shadier and better at hiding crap...
Doesn't help when he has all these computer skills to hid stuff either and multiple email addresses I'll never know about. I know what I need to do, just going to take time to be able to part ways! I am a stay at home mom on top of it so makes it even harder.
My advices:
1) Let him be, dont control him too much. A guy will always say "You think too much..Relax!" "It''s just online..Babe, I still love you" <~ He feels suffocated with you watching every of his 'little' movement
2) Change your appearance, from the way you dress at home to how you talk to him. Keep in mind..be a 'Hot Momma'.Eventually he will look at you in fascinating ways..and forget abt those slores that he is paying attention to.
3) You did mentioned you both have great bedroom activities. Thrill him more,wear sexier, talk sexier..Do whatever it takes to tease him until he stops watching porn chicks. The real hot woman is You
4) Find time to workout at gym, make yourself look more desirable. He will worry a lot if other men start looking at his woman
I really hope this was sarcasm.
I was just about to say the same thing..for goodness sake don't go changing yourself to please a man. Small things sure..but he should love you for you.
Sounds like to me he may have a slight sex addiction..maybe not. but I know from expeience with a ex that the situations are similar and if thats the case he will only change when he wants too..nothing you can do at home will change it..its an addiction. It wouldn't have mattered to my ex if I were an actual porn star living with him and at his beck and call 24/7 he craved the online interaction with other women..it makes them feel wanted..or validated. Like I said though..may not be the case.
If the man is a keeper, we change ourselves to improve relationship..Because you have children
If the man is not a keeper..Do as you see it right..which is Move on
If a man was cheating on me, I would not be changing my appearance and catering to his "needs". I would be dumping him and moving on, because my partner should be pulling their weight too.
Disrespect does not get rewarded.0
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