I'm sabotaging my overweight husband
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I'm going to leave this link here:
http://www.dessertfortwo.com/recipe-index-2/#.Uz_u916Ht4M
the about page for the site saysI cook for two and like most people, I like dessert after dinner—but most dessert recipes make enough for 8 to 10 people! I don’t need 8 extra slices of cake tempting me from my fridge. Nor do I appreciate 2 dozen leftover cookies staring at me while I’m trying to eat a healthy breakfast.
problem solved?0 -
Count me in as one of the people that doesn't understand why the OP doesn't just make smaller portions.
When I make cookies, I'm going to eat all the cookies so I make a small amount. When I buy cookies, I'm going to eat all the cookies, so I buy a smaller package. Repeat with ice cream. Repeat with lasagna. Repeat with pancakes, repeat repeat repeat
I've yet to find a 4x4 or 2x2 brownie pan, and the recipe calls for 2 eggs. I can't exactly split 2 eggs in 4 (for 4 brownies instead of 16). Just saying
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I'm going to leave this link here:
http://www.dessertfortwo.com/recipe-index-2/#.Uz_u916Ht4M
the about page for the site saysI cook for two and like most people, I like dessert after dinner—but most dessert recipes make enough for 8 to 10 people! I don’t need 8 extra slices of cake tempting me from my fridge. Nor do I appreciate 2 dozen leftover cookies staring at me while I’m trying to eat a healthy breakfast.
problem solved?
I will definitely check that site!0 -
I'm going to leave this link here:
http://www.dessertfortwo.com/recipe-index-2/#.Uz_u916Ht4M
the about page for the site saysI cook for two and like most people, I like dessert after dinner—but most dessert recipes make enough for 8 to 10 people! I don’t need 8 extra slices of cake tempting me from my fridge. Nor do I appreciate 2 dozen leftover cookies staring at me while I’m trying to eat a healthy breakfast.
problem solved?
I will definitely check that site!
I just remembered it because of this topic - I used a lot of their recipes to put together a cookbook for my son for Christmas a couple of years ago - he wanted an Easy Bake Oven because he wanted to make individual desserts. My stodgy husband absolutely put his foot down on the idea (whatever) so I found that site and copied the recipes into a book for Nathan to bake in the toaster oven or regular oven. He uses the book all the time, especially for the chocolate chip cookie dough recipe
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I am in the position of trying to lose the weight in our marriage. I appreciate my husband's willingness to buy things outside of the house and enjoy them when I'm not around. I don't ask him to do this (he offered/asked how I felt and I said it would be helpful to me at certain times--I let him know when I'm feeling weak), but I see it as a form of loving support of my efforts. If I were an alcoholic or drug addict, I would hope that he would have similar compassion and love for my struggles.
Even though it's "not fair" and your husband is technically responsible for his own intake, I do think that being mindful, loving and supportive of that is a wise choice to make. It doesn't mean you can't have those things, but why not just do so when he's not around?
It's great that you're cooking now and adding quality to the menu, but that doesn't have to mean extreme indulgences for either of you. Homemade foods that are enjoyable and healthy are easy, inexpensive and healthy too! It doesn't have to be all or nothing. And despite the fact that one partner might be of a lighter weight, it doesn't mean all those foods are any better for them. My husband is of average weight (5'10" and 165-170) but his heart health and overall health is not as good as mine. He doesn't need all the sweets and fats either, even though its not for his weight.
Just saying, it's not all or nothing. You can have your cake, eat it too and still support him by keeping it under wraps. Maybe have those things when you're out with your girlfriends, or on your own shopping.
Discretion CAN be a form of loving ...0 -
I'm going to leave this link here:
http://www.dessertfortwo.com/recipe-index-2/#.Uz_u916Ht4M
the about page for the site saysI cook for two and like most people, I like dessert after dinner—but most dessert recipes make enough for 8 to 10 people! I don’t need 8 extra slices of cake tempting me from my fridge. Nor do I appreciate 2 dozen leftover cookies staring at me while I’m trying to eat a healthy breakfast.
problem solved?
Are the recipes good? I'm in for this if they taste good.0 -
If you need to "split eggs" for a recipe, use real mayonnaise instead! It's made of egg ... 1/4 cup = 1 large egg
1 large egg = 4 tbs. real mayo
You will NOT taste the mayonnaise in the recipe, won't make a difference at all!0 -
Yes, absolutely. They're not "diet food" they're real, rich, decadent, small portions.I'm going to leave this link here:
http://www.dessertfortwo.com/recipe-index-2/#.Uz_u916Ht4M
the about page for the site saysI cook for two and like most people, I like dessert after dinner—but most dessert recipes make enough for 8 to 10 people! I don’t need 8 extra slices of cake tempting me from my fridge. Nor do I appreciate 2 dozen leftover cookies staring at me while I’m trying to eat a healthy breakfast.
problem solved?
Are the recipes good? I'm in for this if they taste good.0 -
Yes, absolutely. They're not "diet food" they're real, rich, decadent, small portions.I'm going to leave this link here:
http://www.dessertfortwo.com/recipe-index-2/#.Uz_u916Ht4M
the about page for the site saysI cook for two and like most people, I like dessert after dinner—but most dessert recipes make enough for 8 to 10 people! I don’t need 8 extra slices of cake tempting me from my fridge. Nor do I appreciate 2 dozen leftover cookies staring at me while I’m trying to eat a healthy breakfast.
problem solved?
Are the recipes good? I'm in for this if they taste good.
Awesome! Thanks for the link :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
He was fat when you married him.
He's still being a fat guy.
What's the problem?
*copied and sent to my wife*0 -
Count me in as one of the people that doesn't understand why the OP doesn't just make smaller portions.
When I make cookies, I'm going to eat all the cookies so I make a small amount. When I buy cookies, I'm going to eat all the cookies, so I buy a smaller package. Repeat with ice cream. Repeat with lasagna. Repeat with pancakes, repeat repeat repeat
I've yet to find a 4x4 or 2x2 brownie pan, and the recipe calls for 2 eggs. I can't exactly split 2 eggs in 4 (for 4 brownies instead of 16). Just saying
I refrigerate or freeze my extra dough/mix and make it at a later date. But....
Why can't you use one egg in a smaller version of the recipe if the standard recipe calls for two?
Why can't you take the extra cooked portion to work/neighbors?
Why can't you make the brownies in a muffin pan?
Why can't you throw the extra out if you're so worried and can't come up with other ideas?0 -
Count me in as one of the people that doesn't understand why the OP doesn't just make smaller portions.
When I make cookies, I'm going to eat all the cookies so I make a small amount. When I buy cookies, I'm going to eat all the cookies, so I buy a smaller package. Repeat with ice cream. Repeat with lasagna. Repeat with pancakes, repeat repeat repeat
I've yet to find a 4x4 or 2x2 brownie pan, and the recipe calls for 2 eggs. I can't exactly split 2 eggs in 4 (for 4 brownies instead of 16). Just saying
I refrigerate or freeze my extra dough/mix and make it at a later date. But....
Why can't you use one egg in a smaller version of the recipe if the standard recipe calls for two?
Why can't you take the extra cooked portion to work/neighbors?
Why can't you make the brownies in a muffin pan?
Why can't you throw the extra out if you're so worried and can't come up with other ideas?
If I need to split eggs, I just mix them up in a cup and then use 2/3 or 3/4 or whatever of the contents of the cup. I usually scale down recipes because my husband is lactose intolerant and my son has the appetite of a particularly picky sparrow, so I'm often left alone with rhubarb crumbles and chocolate pies.
Like others, I take leftovers to work, because I'll find it difficult to stick to one portion. I bake on a Sunday afternoon and take what ever is left to work on Monday morning. I don't know whether my colleagues think I'm being ingratiating or friendly, but I have the selfish reason of having my cake and only eating a bit of it.
I also freeze doughnuts and cakes and things. Not that that will stop me from getting more out if I want it, but it stops me grazing and picking at it all evening. If I want more, I have to get it out and wait for it to defrost and most of the time, I can't be arsed with that.
You can also get little pyrex or cast iron pans that are good for 1 or 2 servings of things like custards and cobblers and a spare one could go in the freezer to save fiddling around with small amounts of ingredients.
Baked fruit is good, have the first portion with ice cream or cream as a treat dessert but have smaller portions of the rest on porridge or yogurt for the following days. The fruit doesn't need to be poached in organic sancha tea and goji berries, it is possible to make it into a substantial, sticky and rich dessert if that's what you want.
This is really, really good for this: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2009/12/vanilla-roasted-pears/ or perhaps prunes or bananas baked in booze with homemade custard for the first serving.0 -
Although I agree your husband is responsible for his own diet, it seems kind of unfair to put a whole batch of brownies right under his nose just because you wanted one. I know I wouldn't like it if my husband did that. Why not go buy yourself one brownie and enjoy it without sabotaging him? I'm kind of surprised at the responses in this thread. It's so easy to satisfy that brownie craving without making a whole batch of them.0
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I wonder if I'm alone in this boat... My husband is obese, and isn't trying to lose weight. He was already overweight when we met, but he has gained more weight since (it's been 12 years). I worry for his health, he's quite a bit older than me, but I know there's nothing I can do about it until he decides to change.
But anyway, I never cooked before, just ate junk all day pretty much, and we had very easy simple meals in the evening. Now I've been cooking more, and I feel like I'm just making things worse for him... Like, I made brownies this morning, I was craving them, 'healthy' substitutions were just not cutting it, and I wasn't going to go out and buy a whole 1000 calorie a piece brownie at a restaurant (although the option was getting more and more tempting by the minute). So I had some, should fit within my calories just fine, but I'm not really planning on having much more, because, well, 370 calories for a small piece, lol.... so now we have a whole lot of brownies to eat (although I might just freeze them in a couple days). So he's probably going to eat most of it (it's totally delicious but my kids are aliens and never touch my baked goods). Like he ate that delicious apple pie I made two months ago.
Same for dinner... I've made some pretty good stuff lately and he ends up having seconds or thirds. Bleh.
Am I alone in this and how do you deal? I do feel bad. But I want to eat good foods too... I'd rather make something I'll like and eat it in moderation than feeling deprived and just eating unsatisfactory foods to get rid of a craving (he doesn't eat most of the 'diet' foods I make, unless it's from skinnytaste).
First, I would not 'sabotage' anyone's way of eating even if they are overweight and certainly not my husband. Second, my husband is a responsible adult more than capable of making his own health choices. Third, I don't understand what 'diet' food is. Food is food is food and any food can be enjoyed in moderation. It sounds like you have a few issues to work out <shrug>0 -
I think the answer to the questions you're asking lie within your original post itself:I worry for his health, he's quite a bit older than me, but I know there's nothing I can do about it until he decides to change.
Ultimately, it's up to him to decide how many brownies to have, or whether he's going to have seconds or thirds. In the end, I definitely don't think you're sabotaging him---rather, it's his responsibility to eat well/in moderation (and it sounds like you'd be an excellent role model in any case!). Have you tried to (gently) voice your concerns over his health? Has your success not inspired him at all?
Excellent advice. I made banana nut bread a while back. . . my grandmother's recipe. I sliced the whole loaf, wrapped each slice individually and put them all in the freezer. Every couple of days, I fit a piece of it into my calorie count. That loaf of bread is lasting two months. I might have to make brownies this weekend.
+1
But, you can help some. Individually wrap and freeze the brownies now. They're not as tempting if they're not in front of his face. Funny how having to put in even a little more effort will discourage people from overindulging when they might have otherwise.
Oh, and I can empathize. I love to bake. My freezer is currently stocked with homemade chocolate banana bread, slices of homemade cakes w/ icing in individual serving bags, some banana toffee scones, my pizza dough experiments and homemade soft pretzels (yes, I love bread and bread products as well) and several pints of ice cream. Just because.
And I have no problem regulating how much of that I eat - but others in my family do. So, I'll make things in advance and freeze them in individual servings. It takes 10-15 min in the oven at 350 to get them as good as fresh baked - enough extra effort that people rarely go back for seconds. (Plus the 10-15 min lets dinner or lunch settle in nicely before dessert)0 -
Husbands will eat how they want to eat regardless of what we do. In the past, I noticed that we never had leftovers because my husband would eat everything, no matter how much I cooked. So then I tried cooking just enough food for the two of us to have reasonable portions, and he'd follow the dinner I cooked with peanut butter and honey sandwiches (for example). There's no controlling another person's calorie count unless they agree and cooperate.0
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I do the oppisite. All the food in the house is healthy. If I'm going to the grocery store and he asks for a chocolate muffin I bring him back a chocolate clif bar and a bag of trail mix lol. I don't buy junk for him. If he wants junk he buys it himself.
Hubby has high cholesterol and I want to keep him around.
Edit for spelling failz
^^^^^THIS except m husband doesn't buy junk food but if y junk food isn't in the house then there isn't the temptation.0 -
sabotage is baking 3 dozen of your boyfriend's favorite kind of cookie and sending them to him. all of them.
that's how I roll.
:devil:
Diabolical! I love it!
My son and I have an agreement. He can have all of the crap he wants but he has a cabinet that (at MY request) he keeps locked. Out of sight, out of mind.
Can you leave out a reasonable portion then put the rest where he won't see it? Freezing may help, but my family LOVE frozen brownies and cookies!!
Taking the leftovers to work or a charity is an excellent idea. In my job, vendors love to give us every type of junk food you can think of. My assistant takes what she wants then I get the rest the he11 out of my office and give it to the other departments in the hospital. I don't know what they do with it, take it home, eat it, throw it away, start a food fight, feed it to the pigeons, whatever. As long as I can't see or smell it. :ohwell:
In the end he has to be the one to change but there's no reason why you can't quietly "encourage" him.0 -
Can't speak for anybody else, but I love my wife way too much to just say "you're a grown up, deal".
My wife has some emotional eating problems she's been fighting for years, and continues to. If I can be of help, I do. I try and hide trouble foods from her.
We've had issues in the past where there was sugary desserts that I couldn't hide well, and she fell, and in her emotional upset tried to blame me. My wife is the sweetest woman ever, but I had to cut that thinking right off at the knees. I told her that while I do try and hide trigger foods, ultimately she is responsible for her choices. She got it eventually, after her emotions settled down.
Still, why wouldn't I help her when I can? There is no need for me to leave trigger food lying around, knowing she can be very weak. I'm here to help her, not try and prove some point.0 -
You wouldn't keep alcohol in the house and sit there and drink in front of an alcoholic would you?
Some people have a hard time resisting things if they are bingers or have addictive traits.
He is responsible for his health but you can set the tone.
Make your home a healthy home. If someone wants a sweet or something, they can go to the bakery and get one.
My ex used to bring sweets and junk home the moment he found out I was dieting. He wouldn't eat any of it himself though.0
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