Geting your kids on track..

MyOwnSunshine

I understand where you're coming from, but I think you're going about it in a bit of the wrong way. 6-year-olds do not need to "lose weight." 6-year-olds need to be active, eat healthy, and avoid gaining weight, unless they are morbidly obese. Kids will eventually grow into their weight if you can help them to maintain. I have also noticed with my own daughter that her BMI will fluctuate. Sometimes she will start to look a little more "chubby," but that has always been a precursor to a big height growth spurt.

The strategies I have used successfully for my 8-year-old are:

Making her responsible for choosing to eat 3 fruits/vegetables a day. My responsibilities include providing easy-to-choose (meaning prepped and easy-to-grab) fruits and veggies.

Educating her on how our body uses food and what "healthy" eating means. I encourage her to eat protein at every meal, eat high-fat, high-carb (junk) foods sparingly. I have taught my daughter some basic things about carbs, proteins and fats, and how our bodies need a balance of these macros to function properly. I don't demonize junk food, or use it as a reward or make it "special." It's just another kind of food that we need to choose in moderation with healthy foods.

I encourage physical activity by letting her play outside for at least an hour with her neighborhood friends, and by signing her up for after-school karate. If you don't live in a neighborhood where it is safe to let your daughter play outside, you need to step up and take her to the park or for walks or bike rides daily.

I discourage boredom eating. I struggle with that myself, so if my daughter wants to snack constantly or eat immediately after a meal, I tell her that she needs to eat a fruit, veggie or protein snack like a cheese stick or ham roll-up.

I role model the behavior I would like her to acquire. I go to the gym or run on a regular basis. I eat meals that are protein, whole grain and veggie based, and eat sweets and chips and other junk in moderation.

My daughter actually has an inherently good relationship with food, so I try very hard not to micromanage her eating. I have a terribly compulsive relationship with food, and don't want to pass my unhealthy issues on to her by interfering too much.

reklawn

As a former chubby snack happy kid, it is incredibly uncomfortable to talk about as a child. I started putting on the weight around 5 years. I remember always being mortified seeing episodes of Oprah with fat kids or having to get weighed at school. There is nothing wrong with wanting to avoid this with your own child. You seem very sensitive and aware as well, so I wouldn't worry about these folks saying you will give her a complex. You will only do that if you call her names or monitor everything she puts in her body.

From my personal experience as a child, when you see her snacking try to distract her (arts and crafts, physical activity, ect.) and as others said, lead by example if the bad foods aren't around I wouldn't have been able to eat them. If she's constantly snacking on fruits and veggies, then nothing wrong with that! I wish my mom had intervened earlier with me. My mother is naturally tiny and I think doctors assumed I would grow out of it for that reason... and I did not. At my highest I ended up around the 300lb mark. It's great that you're aware! Unfortunately most parents are not.

zephtalah

It is great that you as a parent are stepping up and helping your child. I know whenever I see an area in my children's lives that needs worked on, I see that area in everything they do. If you try to hit it all at once it is going to overwhelm and frustrate you both. Maybe pick a goal or two to work on for the next two weeks then add another as you are working to make lifestyle choices for the both of you. Maybe this week, buy less snacks at the store and plan a walk or hike together. Then in awhile, add more fruits and veggies into the meals. Baby steps tend to stick longer then when I try to fix everything right that moment. Best wishes as you make changes for the better for you both.

Amandawith3kids

i would encourage more activity before i messed too much with her foods. cut the crap of course, but really, movement will help her long term more. my girls are both smaller (both height and weight. my 6 yr old is 40 pounds and 42ish inches)

kuolo

She is six years old and at a very impressionable age. It sounds like you are setting her up for failure down the road if you are starting to have conversations now about weight loss. She is a growing kid and it is quite possible that she truly is hungry after dinner and that may have nothing to do with your fear of eating out of boredom. I would suggest not projecting your fears and issues onto your kid.

I agree. Provide her with healthy food options, but don't start giving food/food-behaviours negative labels. I remember growing up with a mother who (despite being gorgeous inside and out) was always critical of herself and her size, and was always on one diet or another. I was a bigger (not overweight, but not skinny!) kid, and she constantly reminded me that I didn't want to be like her, and always commented on what/how I was eating! Not really surprising that I ended up with body and food issues!

Don't label food 'good' or 'bad' and don't lecture her on her weight. Just encourage her to be active, and remember that a balanced diet means ALL food is eaten in moderation. Also, food isn't a reward or something to treat yourself with when you have had a bad day. Try not to give food any emotional labels - its is fuel for our bodies. Delicious, delicious fuel! :P

PS: BMI's aren't accurate for children. Centile charts and specific formulas are used by doctors/nurses for children's weights

This. I grew up with a mother who was obsessed by her weight, she is overweight and it dominated her life, so I became aware of weight and good vs bad food very young, and I think that was largely responsible for me developing eating problems at a young age. So I would say yes lead by example by getting yourself healthy but don't always talk too much about your own weight struggles as it will likely affect her too.

12by311

Our kids are watching us. Always.

My mom always grew a garden and always had healthy balanced home cooked meals for us growing up. She also baked cakes and made pies.

I can also remember when my mom started buying us "snack cakes" and other candies and sodas to keep at the house on a regular basis. We were in high school. That stuff just wasn't readily available at home.

I plan on doing the same way with my children. My 3 year old eats fruits and vegetables because those are his options. He still has treats (the only junk food he eats are oreos and fruit snacks, he doesn't like anything else really). He asks for the treat stuff sometimes when he's already had enough. I just say no. I'm the mom. No discussion.

Both my kids go with me to the weight room quite a bit (I workout alone) and they see me lifting. One day the 3 year old walked over and picked up the 3 lb dumbbells and started doing suitcase deadlifts. I don't even do those. haha. He looked like a natural. LOL

The other day I was doing my workout at home and all of the sudden I look around and he was sprinting down the driveway. When he got finished with that, he started doing ball slams with his football. He was imitating my workout that day.

Last night he was eating broccoli and when he got finished he picked a box up over his head and said, "LOOK HOW STRONG I AM."

I say all of that to say this….be a good example for your daughter. Don't have major discussions about food right now. SHOW her how to eat healthily and also have treats occasionally. Say no when you think she's had enough sweets for the day at home. SHOW her how to be active. Don't have negative self body talk in front of her. And don't let her know your struggles with weight (if you have them).

It is tough. We want the best for our kids!

Calliope610

Maybe, I should have made a more clearer statement.

I am NOT NOT NOT NOT telling her she needs to lose weight, or talking to her about losing weight.

I am telling her that I need to lose weight, and the health risks I can face. I encourage her to eat healthier and take to her about why it is important for her...

I am just looking to encourage her to eat healthy! She loves healthy foods..but she also loves to snack. I know I am in control of that..but I am looking for the best approaches to explain to her why she doesn't need those foods, or why we shouldnt eat them as often.

I did ask her to be my motivation, so when I don't want to go for a walk, she pushes me to do so.

A 6-yr old does not need to be burdened with the health risks associated w/ being overweight. A 6-yr old doesn't need to worry or obsess about whether or not Mommy is going to get sick and/or die because of weight/diet issues. Emphasize "healthy" because "healthy feels better". As for the snacks, there is nothing wrong with saying "if you are still hungry after you eat your (healthy, nutritious) dinner, you may have an apple".

Mangopickle

After years of trial and error....The mantra in our house is " Keep the party treats at the party". We do not allow party treats in the house. Snacking is fine....if you have a reason to snack. Always have fresh fruit, veggies, raw nuts, cheese, and protein bars on hand. My nine yr old baked and frosted a butter cake for the Art crawl at St Mary's last night. She had one slice and the rest stayed at the church. We NEVER bring party leftovers home. Check her protein intake if she is hungry after dinner. Given the choice my kid would chose 90% carb for dinner. Simple carbs don't stick with you. So we make sure she gets plenty of protein, fat and complex carbs. She gets ice cream once a week at school. Other treats are based on activity. She always gets pizza and chips on chess tournament days and triathlon and cross country days are hot dogs, kettle corn and kona ices. Because we isolate party treats from the household we dont worry about rich foods at fairs and festivals. We also train her to portion her food. She actually enjoys this. She loves the food scale. She pours her cereal into a cup measure 'cause that's what we do. She knows that 5 crackers is a serving and does not ask for more. She also knows there is no limit on apples, oranges and milk. I make sure we never run out.

Cheechos

Maybe, I should have made a more clearer statement.

I am NOT NOT NOT NOT telling her she needs to lose weight, or talking to her about losing weight.

I am telling her that I need to lose weight, and the health risks I can face. I encourage her to eat healthier and take to her about why it is important for her...

I am just looking to encourage her to eat healthy! She loves healthy foods..but she also loves to snack. I know I am in control of that..but I am looking for the best approaches to explain to her why she doesn't need those foods, or why we shouldnt eat them as often.

I did ask her to be my motivation, so when I don't want to go for a walk, she pushes me to do so.

A 6-yr old does not need to be burdened with the health risks associated w/ being overweight. A 6-yr old doesn't need to worry or obsess about whether or not Mommy is going to get sick and/or die because of weight/diet issues. Emphasize "healthy" because "healthy feels better". As for the snacks, there is nothing wrong with saying "if you are still hungry after you eat your (healthy, nutritious) dinner, you may have an apple".

This. Don't talk to your daughter about weight, not even yours. Don't criticize your own appearance in front of her, don't talk about scary health problems you may or may not experience down the road, just don't. She doesn't need it, especially during a time when she's supposed to be GROWING. Kids go through fluctuations of being thin and plump as they grow in accordance to their changing appetites. Encourage your child to be healthy by being healthy. Keep ice cream as a special treat for Friday and remove calorie dense foods that are like it from the home if you're so worried about it. Lead by example, eat all foods in moderation, and play with her more often. Take her to the park and push her on the swing or jump rope with her in the driveway. Kids need to play just as much as they need to eat. If she finishes dinner and then wants a snack a little while later, give her something like raisins or a cut up apple and a slice of cheese (also, be very mindful of the trick that children her age do when they say they're "full" to get out of eating vegetables and then immediately afterward say they want something sweet). Build nutrition into when she's hungry instead of telling her she doesn't "need" to eat something, and if you think her constant snacking is because of boredom then make an effort to engage her more often.

kb1927

I am (and have been) overweight or obese for most of my life. My husband has not, and it was hard to hear him tell our kids "it's okay to be hungry" until I really internalized it myself. But he is right. Starving is different from hungry. You can tell your daughter: it is okay to be hungry an hour before dinner. You SHOULD be hungry when you sit down to eat.

My three year old also knows (and I am learning) that if he is not hungry enough to eat whatever we are having for snack, he can make it until we next have food again. If you enjoy reading, try "French Kids Eat Everything", which really hit me over the head about some of the bad habits we have about food as a culture.

iTStaRTsN0W

So many great ideas!!! As I mentioned,I am struggling with my weight as well. I have always struggled with my weight. I grew up with an overweight mom, she was up and down with diets and she let us pretty much do as we want. I just don't want to wait until it is too late to start letting her know how she should be eating..and as time goes by I feel that it is getting too late.

There are so many great ideas I can use for myself, and her!! I am so appreciative of each and every response.

Thanks again!

DawnieB1977

Lead by example, and keep active. Limit treats for Fri evening, or the weekend.

I have a nearly 5 year old and a nearly 3 year old. We allow them treats at the weekend, and they're usually when we're out and the kids are being active. Today we went to the beach on scooters. The kids ran about and threw pebbles into the sea. Then they had a small ice-cream. Sometimes at the weekend I'll make cupcakes or something. I prefer them to have homemade treats.

Both of them are tall and slim (lucky them lol) so I don't worry about their weight, and they're incredibly active. We take them out on their scooters a lot, and we walk pretty much everywhere. My eldest is at school (kids start school at 4 in England) and we walk to/from school.

We eat healthy, homemade food the majority of the time. They know I go to the gym a lot. We have fruit for snacks. Both will stop eating if they're full and I'd never make them finish off their meal. Even if my son -my eldest - has a dessert and is full, he'll stop. Even if it's the yummiest thing ever!

We don't talk about being fat, losing weight etc. I'll say too much chocolate will make you feel sick, or something like that.

sexforjaffacakes

I mean, she's six years old. I think it's great that you want to teach her good health habits, but I would go with more of a behavioral approach because I don't know if she's really old enough to understand your reasoning or motivation when asking her to make these changes. You're the parent, so really you're in control of whether she gets a snack after dinner or whether she gets chips at school. The problem a lot of parents have is that they want to avoid a fuss, so they give in whenever their children pester them for something, like a candy bar at the grocery store. In doing so, you're just teaching the child that they only have to yell and scream in order to get what they want. So I would recommend that until she's older, you just decide how often you're going to give her treats and what you're going to give her and try your best to stick to it. She should not have direct access to whatever treats she wants. You may have to put up with a few tantrums in the process, but that's part of being a parent, right?

On the other hand, though, I wouldn't worry too much about her weight if she's just "borderline" as you said. I personally don't think kids should be required to strictly track their diet and exercise unless something has really gone wrong, and she really is very young.

Good luck!

this.
you'll end up giving her an eating disorder if you keep drumming into her that she needs to lose weight!

discuss the importance of eating healthy foods and a balanced diet because it will make her heart and her brain and her lungs work better, and will help her run about and play games, and will make her feel happier.

don't just tell her "you need to lose weight because being overweight is bad"
the world is already telling her that

you're in charge of what she eats, just feed her healthily and don't push your own weight loss obsession onto someone so young!

Capt_Apollo

she is six years old. she doesn't need to make chips and ice cream a special treat- you do.


you don't have to give her money for chips, and instead, you can send her to school with some healthy snacks. ice cream once a week? sure, why not? she's six. at the moment you have to make healthy decisions for her. and one day you'll hear her say "no, i want and apple not chips" or something like that.

ebonet123

I am reading through these posts and I too see my oldest daughter of 10 struggling with her weight. She starting gaining at the age of 6 because my mother in law who watches her after school gives her whatever she wants to eat despite us asking her not to. The result is my daughter getting picked on at school because she has a big belly. Now my daughter dances 4 nights a week, and does not eat awful, but she does like to eat. ALL of her weight is in her belly. I was forced to talk to her to calm her fears about her classmates comments. It's a rough world we live in. I tried to avoid the weight topic like a plague, but she brought it up so I had to discuss it with her. I really try to focus on being healthy and being active. Even her school did an evaluation on her and deemed her overweight because of her weight and height. Sometimes it's not so easy to avoid the topic. My daughter is no way on a diet, but we discuss healthy versus unhealthy so that she is aware of what to eat and what not to eat. This is such a sensitive topic but we moms are trying to do the best we can to keep our kids healthy and happy.

BigVeggieDream

Forget about the weight and most definitely do not talk about her weight. You don't want her growing up worrying about her weight. Weight is a very subjective measure of health, especially of children. What you should be looking at, does she look healthy. Does she have any problems doing activities. Just teach her the importance of healthy food and set an example. Letting her have the ice cream once a week as a treat is perfectly fine. If she's hungry between meals have cut up veggies and fruit for her to snack on. If she wants to dip them in something, avoid the creamy dips like ranch. Go for hummus or salsa or peanut butter, but go easy on the PB. What she needs to learn is how to eat healthy and be active. Weight should not even be a concern of hers or you.

lindsaymarcin

What I like to do is wash up grapes and set them on the counter as an easy accessible snack or have bananas handy. I have 2 boys and I know what you mean when they are grabbing snacks 5 minutes after they just ate dinner!! I tell them they can have a banana, yogurt, or another fruit. If they say no then I know they really aren't that hungry. Another good way to keep her on track is to avoid soda and sugary juices. Opt for ones that are 100% fruit juice instead of say Kool-Aid. My boys are 7 and 4 and have tried soda once when we were doing an experiment and they thought it was awful and never want again! And like others have said, just making sure she is involved in physical activities will make a difference. There are lots of fun things you could do together like take a nature walk, bike ride to your library or park, or go swimming.....all of which don't have to feel like exercising but rather just spending some quality time together

corinneselene

I absolutely do not have children but I have thought about this quite often. I think that talking about weight with a younger person always isnt the best approach. For me, it gave food a negative tone. When I have children, I feel that I will just need to be the best example of the perks of healthy choices...eating whole healthy food and spending time outdoors.

I am not sure when junk food became a normal treat. I think that food treats are fine but I think I am going to allow them to happen less often in my home. I also think the treat should be something we make together, not pull out of a box. Obviously kids are kids and I do think that they can also have a 'normal' life and have cake at parties or pizza with friends.

I have read that it is important to allow children to make choices alongside you. At least this way, they dont feel as though they are being forced to follow a lifestyle they do not want.

neandermagnon

She is six years old and at a very impressionable age. It sounds like you are setting her up for failure down the road if you are starting to have conversations now about weight loss. She is a growing kid and it is quite possible that she truly is hungry after dinner and that may have nothing to do with your fear of eating out of boredom. I would suggest not projecting your fears and issues onto your kid.

I agree. Provide her with healthy food options, but don't start giving food/food-behaviours negative labels. I remember growing up with a mother who (despite being gorgeous inside and out) was always critical of herself and her size, and was always on one diet or another. I was a bigger (not overweight, but not skinny!) kid, and she constantly reminded me that I didn't want to be like her, and always commented on what/how I was eating! Not really surprising that I ended up with body and food issues!

Don't label food 'good' or 'bad' and don't lecture her on her weight. Just encourage her to be active, and remember that a balanced diet means ALL food is eaten in moderation. Also, food isn't a reward or something to treat yourself with when you have had a bad day. Try not to give food any emotional labels - its is fuel for our bodies. Delicious, delicious fuel! :P

PS: BMI's aren't accurate for children. Centile charts and specific formulas are used by doctors/nurses for children's weights

^^^ all of this is really good advice

OP: there's a big danger that trying to get children into eating healthy can backfire and have totally the opposite effect. Lots of adults I know were banned from eating certain foods as kids, and what did they do... they ate that food at every opportunity when their parents didn't know, and in some cases this extends into adulthood, i.e. leaving home becomes the time of food freedom and a whole lot of poor food choices. This is why I let my kids eat sweets and take them to McDonalds. Not everyday, but enough that they don't feel deprived or fall into the mindset of dichotomising food into "healthy" and "unhealthy" and seeing only the "unhealthy" foods as desirable.

I do teach them about food, i.e. that their body needs protein to grow and be strong, that they need carbohydrate for energy, and fat, vitamins, minerals and fibre to be healthy. I'm also getting towards teaching them that eating more than you burn off makes people fat, but that issue hasn't really come up and neither of them are overweight so really I see no need to make them fear something that's currently showing no signs of happening. I'm focusing on health, and letting the avoiding obesity aspect of health take care of itself. There's far more to health and a healthy diet than just not being fat. IMO the dangers of obesity (while real) are massively overemphasised at the expense of just about every other aspect of health. I'm trying to give my girls a balanced view of health, where all factors are taken into consideration.

Childhood obesity is mostly caused by inactivity. Kids nowadays actually eat fewer calories than kids in the 1950s did. The difference is kids in the 1950s spent way more time playing outdoors, walked everywhere and did more sport/exercise at school. Do what you can to encourage your kid(s) to be active. Go for walks, don't use the car or bus for short journeys, walk instead. Sign her/them up for physical activities and sports clubs. Send her/them to play outside. Limit screen time (one of the main cause of kids being inactive is playing computer/ipad/phone/etc games all the time). If possible have the kids walk part of all of the way to school. I actively encourage my kids to be physically active and teach them that their bodies need exercise to stay healthy. And they both want to lift weights like their mummy (yes I try to lead by example too).

suremeansyes

My stepdaughter was always on the other end of the spectrum, a skinny little thing. We had a rule that if she wanted a snack like pudding, "fruit" snacks or chips, she had some fresh fruit first. We told her she needed the fiber and vitamins first.