Geting your kids on track..

seltzermint555

It sounds like you are doing well, in my opinion. I'm not a parent but I was a chubby kid and preteen who turned into an obese teenager. I don't blame my parents AT ALL for my weight problems and I think they did the best they could. They didn't realize how convenience foods and restaurant meals added up - it seemed like I ate pretty small amounts of food but it was almost always full of sugar, fat & salt.

I do think you should consider slowing your roll on the straight-up discussion of weight, dieting, obesity, etc. It's fine to talk about it but I think if you drill it into her head too much it's just going to magnify the problem. She is really young. It is great that you are working toward a healthier lifestyle now, and you can (as others have said here) lead by example.

I think the ice cream on Friday thing sounds perfectly fine, personally.

Why are chips so readily available at her school, though? That's disturbing to me.

2 things I believe my own parents did WELL with me despite my growing weight problem as a kid and preteen etc...

1) Giving me loads of compliments, both physical and non-physical. It really helped to build my self esteem. You're so smart, nice, a good speller, artist, pretty, you are really strong, a good friend, so helpful, you have a lovely smile, etc. Fifty of those to every comment about "I don't want you to get fat blah blah..." See what I am getting at here?

2) Being active as a family to encourage me to be active in general. Doesn't have to mean organized sports or even dance/tumbling lessons. This could be anything...throwing a ball around, playing with a pet or friend's pets, dancing to fun music, shooting baskets with a glow in the dark ball ($7 from Aldi! I have one right now, haha, and I'm 37), riding a bicycle after dinner, taking walks at the park or somewhere else that is more fun to kids than just walking on their own block...stuff like that. Instead of just treats like food or toys, going somewhere like a zoo, bounce house, roller skating, bowling, or walking all over a large mall for 30+ minutes before getting the ice cream. Not like a bribe, but because it is FUN.

I especially brought up that second one because I see a lot of my friends and acquaintances who have children of elementary school age or younger fall into just 2 categories - SUPER active kids involved in sports and constantly moving, and completely sedentary kids who have never done anything with a ball outside of gym class and are more comfortable just sitting with their iPad.

Good luck!!

onionparsleysage

One of the best things that my mom did as a kid was only give us healthy snacks. There was a shelf in the fridge with bowls on it - usually grapes were the favorite, or carrot sticks with dip. Those were snacks. If I was super hungry, mom might give me a cheese stick or some pepperoni.

Ice cream was not a snack - it was part of family movie night or birthday parties. Chips were not a snack we could choose, although mom included a serving in lunch some days. There was a canteen like you're talking about at my school, but I had money for it only very occasionally.

I think one of the best things to teach is the attitude of food as fuel. Went to a dance class? Time to fuel your body! Broccoli & potatoes & hamburgers help fuel big, strong muscles.

Teach your daughter about picking fruits & veggies. Grow some herbs on your kitchen counter. Involve her in planning meals & cooking. Go outside on hikes with her. Turn on some Justin Bieber & rock out in the living room together. No need to teach her about calorie counting or weight loss.

Collier78

I am not trying to put any of my fears on to my kid, but as I mentioned obesity is a huge part of both sides of the family. i want to prevent that for her. Also, I get that I am in control of what she eats but I have just started all of this myself so "getting the junk out of the house" is just a start for me as well.

I am looking for advice on the best approach, if she is hungry of course I am going to feed her. But, if she is literally sitting at the table eating dinner and says she is full .. why is she going for a snack 2 seconds later???

I get a lot of it falls on me for allowing her to eat the snacks she has had in the past, and I take ownership 100%..because I have been that parent that just gives in.

I am looking for ideas on recipes to try with her, other ways of making it a lifestyle change for her as well. I am NOT looking to put her on a diet.. I think she is perfect, I just do not want her to struggle later on..am I wrong for wanting to start showing her the right path now? I am not talking to her about counting calories.. I am just talking to her about not eating her snacks immediately after finishing a big meal, to save them as a special treat .., like I mentioned I am explaining to her she should chose which snack she wants the most and it be a special treat instead of an everyday snack.

I know a lot of it has to do with recipes and different approaches.. and that is what I am asking for advice on.

Thanks everyone!

My 7 year old does this...he will say he is full at dinner and then wants something sweet after we clear the table. We have started saving his dinner plate. (Clear the rest of the table, his plate stays.) When he comes back asking for something to snack on we tell him to finish his dinner. I wouldn't talk to her about losing weight, just making healthy choices, and why healthy food is good for your body. Maybe look around your community and see if they have a healthy living center that has presentations geared toward children.

Teaching her to make good choices is part of parenting, so kudos to you! Just make sure you don't portray any specific food as bad, but explain moderation and treats. Good Luck!

neandermagnon

Maybe, I should have made a more clearer statement.

I am NOT NOT NOT NOT telling her she needs to lose weight, or talking to her about losing weight.

I am telling her that I need to lose weight, and the health risks I can face. I encourage her to eat healthier and take to her about why it is important for her...

I am just looking to encourage her to eat healthy! She loves healthy foods..but she also loves to snack. I know I am in control of that..but I am looking for the best approaches to explain to her why she doesn't need those foods, or why we shouldnt eat them as often.

I did ask her to be my motivation, so when I don't want to go for a walk, she pushes me to do so.

A 6-yr old does not need to be burdened with the health risks associated w/ being overweight. A 6-yr old doesn't need to worry or obsess about whether or not Mommy is going to get sick and/or die because of weight/diet issues. Emphasize "healthy" because "healthy feels better". As for the snacks, there is nothing wrong with saying "if you are still hungry after you eat your (healthy, nutritious) dinner, you may have an apple".

^^^^ this

I read this really poignant article from a woman who grew up hearing her mother always say how fat she (i.e. her mother) was and was always trying to diet... as a little girl she interpreted this as "when I grow up I'm going to be like mummy" so everything her mother said about herself, the little girl interpreted as being about herself as well, and grew up with the same food issues her mother had. As a little girl, she saw her mother as totally perfect and like any other kid wanted to grow up just like her, so to hear her mother say bad things about herself affected her quite a lot.

Kids are like sponges. Phrase your efforts in terms of healthy eating and exercise in terms of "we exercise to keep our bodies strong" and "we eat healthy to get all the nutrition we need" - active kids who are given normal sized meals including plenty of fresh fruit and veg, protein, etc, plus "junk" food in moderation, aren't going to have an obesity problem unless there are additional medical issues going on (which should be dealt with by a paediatrician). If they're a little on the chubby side, then this whole lifestyle of eating regularly well balanced meals and doing lots of physical activity will take care of the chubbiness without even any need to mention it. Either you being chubby or the child.

cuinboston2014

My daughter is 7, slightly taller, and about 10 pounds bigger.

I have never told her that I need to lose weight. I have talked abotu it with my husband. She's seen my fat pictures. She hears me count calories, weigh food, and essentially obsess over it.

My direct conversations with her about me or her are all about being healthy. Never weight. I tell her weight doesn't matter. Somewhere down the road she didn't hear that and only heard the conversations I had with my husband. Last night we went grocery shopping and in the produce department I let he rpick out ANY fruit and vegetable. She gets free reign. We were perusing for foods we like there that were on special and she said "I'm going to get a ton of healthy food so I can lose weight."

It broke my heart. She is gorgeous. She's got a solid build. She's very active. But yes, I am concerned that she will continue to gain weight even though she's been evening out over the past few years. So from experience, this is what we've been doing:

1. Yesterday after picking out the healthy foods she wanted I sliced up the fresh veggies right away so she can grab a healthy sanck in the fridge when she is hungry. No prep work for me or my husband.

2. When it's nice outside I give her the option to clean her room or ride her bike outside. She doesn't want to clean....

3. I've started leaving small chores for her to do when she comes home from school so she doesn't sit and watch TV (my husband works from home so for a few hours he's wokring while she's home). Since doing this, she has been watching WAY less TV even after chores, and therefore asking for less snacks.

4. If she wants a snack after dinner but she was too full to eat dinner, too bad. If she ate her dinner and wants a healthy snack, sometimes an unhealthy one, fine. But it's not every day.

5. Most of the time the junk food in our house consists of pretzels, maybe tortilla chips, and possibly seasonal candy like jelly beans. No ice cream. no cookies. There are exceptions and then we can enjoy that stuff in moderation but she doesn't have the option.

6. We also grow a garden in the summer. She is involved in planting, and deciding what we want to grow. She loves doing it.

7. She has dance parties ALL the time. By herself....she loves to dance. We let her blast the music and have her party

8. I let her get involved in meal planning. I ask her what she wants and usually there's a way to do it healthy. Sometimes I will look on websites like skinnytaste with her and we will plan our meals together.

The extent of the conversations we have had have been to be healthy and strong....maybe occasionally about how exercise is good for our heart. No weight loss and nothing more about health. I know I need to make changes in my attitude and the conversations I have that she can hear. You don't want her to tell you in a year she watns to lose weight to be skinny.

wilsoje74

THANKS - that is what I have started this week especially. I have even been telling her how hard it is to be overweight, and why she wants to start now instead of waiting till later.

I know its hard info for a 6 yr old, but I just fear for her. On both sides of her family there is obesity, I want to prevent that struggle for her.

Try not to talk about weight and losing weight to a child. You need to instill healthy eating and exercise without putting ideas in her head at such an early age that she needs to lose. Is she involved in exercise or sports?

EliseMarie24

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H_Factor

I wouldn't sweat it too much at her age, but never too early to start showing her the benefits of making healthy choices. First off, lead by example.

As for snacks, pack her healthy snacks instead.

When my kids say they are hungry after dinner, I offer to give them more of what we ate for dinner as opposed to a snack. Its rare that they ask for anything after dinner anymore because they just ask for more of what we ate before finishing dinner.

I make healthy food most of the time and they enjoy it. If they don't like something, I try to avoid it the next time. But kids are only picky if we as parents allow them to be picky. Make tasty healthy food and your kid will like it. I usually keep seasoning to a minimum for the kids.

I also pack my kids' lunches most days. My daughter generally takes some veggies and fruit every day, along with a protein. She has been a fan of the roast turkey I cut up lately. So today was roast turkey, cucumbers, strawberries and honeydew packed for lunch.

I talk to the kids from time to time about the importance of eating healthy. I tell them when they eat certain foods (i.e., lean protein), they will grow up to be stronger, be able to run longer and faster, etc. Mostly I talk to them about how much better I feel when I eat healthy...and they want to do the same things.

The kids see me exercise and they like to jump in and exercise with me sometimes...and other times just encourage me. I like that.

I praise the kids for the healthy choices they make on their own. Too often, parents don't praise their kids for making good decisions...they only tell the kids when they are making bad decisions. Kids thrive on attention from their parents, so make sure you're giving them positive attention for the good choices that they make (not just the good choices that impact their health).

rondaj05

I think it's very reasonable to get them thinking like it early. I have obesity in my family and I just ate out of boredom and got obese myself, finally getting round to sorting that out now.

^^THIS!!

My son started getting "chunky" at 6. His dad was of the opinion that limiting his food choices or as he put it "putting him on a diet" would be bad for his self-esteem.

My argument was 1. it's NOT a diet, it's having more healthy snacks and less convenient junk food around. 2. Kids are cruel in school... what is being the "fat kid" and being picked on going to do for his self esteem?

Bottom line, my son slowly but surely went from chunky to obese to morbidly obese over the years. His dad and I had 50/50 custody so a week at my house where we went for walks or he rode his bike. We cooked at home and ate balanced meals, we did have snacks and convenience foods but we also kept a lot of fruit, yogurt, nuts and "healthier" snacks. Every week at my house he would lose weight.

Then he would go to his dad's for a week. His dad doesn't cook, they ordered pizza or ate fast food or buffets almost every single night. The cabinets were full of cocoa puffs, pop tarts, chips and dip and microwave crap. They would go to the movies and eat popcorn, candy etc. He would gain weight every week at his dad's house.

I don't think there's anything wrong with leading by example. It's about living and eating healthy. It's not about "diet". It is about teaching self control and having occasional treats.

At 18 my son is easily over 300 lbs and maybe 5'10". It breaks my heart but the battle with my ex was too much. I was accused of forcing my son to be on a diet while his dad told him it is HIS body and HIS choice. This started as early as 8 or 9. My son is very self conscious and hides himself in layers of baggy clothes.

I know there are many different opinions but my feeling is that as parents we have a responsibility to teach and at times impose limits .. they ARE our responsibility and kids WILL eat what you provide.

ljcdills

I would offer her an alternative to eating chips everyday. Buy some grapes, cheese, different snack items and encourage her to take a snack (don't make it about weight loss). Make it fun by telling her that she can use the "chip" money she has saved all week to buy a prize. I too have a daughter that I worry about her weight. She is 8 and I do not discuss weight with her. I feel like kids have enough pressure to conform, my children don't need that pressure from me. I have also heard so many horror stories about children developing eating disorders because of their parents. Remember the things we say to our children becomes their inner voice. Instead, I offer healthier alternatives. If she wants ice cream or a milk shake I'll say "I was about to have a smoothie, would you like one?" Now she actually requests smoothies ! For breakfast instead of sugary cereal we eat oatmeal, together. We add fruits and nuts or we have greek yogurt with fruit and granola. This is all new for me too, but I make her a part of it. Without discussing either of our weights we focus more on this is yummy and it is good for us. If you focus on you and setting a good example, she will follow. With all that being said... she is 6 she deserves ice cream on Fridays and a pack of chips here and there. Good luck !

jenmom2myboys

So many great ideas!!! As I mentioned,I am struggling with my weight as well. I have always struggled with my weight. I grew up with an overweight mom, she was up and down with diets and she let us pretty much do as we want. I just don't want to wait until it is too late to start letting her know how she should be eating..and as time goes by I feel that it is getting too late.

There are so many great ideas I can use for myself, and her!! I am so appreciative of each and every response.

Thanks again!

I would just focus on you and not bring her into the equation. Get yourself fit, do not discuss the weight with her and the changes will trickle down to her. If you dont want her having chips or ice cream then do not buy them. Good Luck!

stefa711

I understand where you're coming from, but I think you're going about it in a bit of the wrong way. 6-year-olds do not need to "lose weight." 6-year-olds need to be active, eat healthy, and avoid gaining weight, unless they are morbidly obese. Kids will eventually grow into their weight if you can help them to maintain. I have also noticed with my own daughter that her BMI will fluctuate. Sometimes she will start to look a little more "chubby," but that has always been a precursor to a big height growth spurt.

The strategies I have used successfully for my 8-year-old are:

Making her responsible for choosing to eat 3 fruits/vegetables a day. My responsibilities include providing easy-to-choose (meaning prepped and easy-to-grab) fruits and veggies.

Educating her on how our body uses food and what "healthy" eating means. I encourage her to eat protein at every meal, eat high-fat, high-carb (junk) foods sparingly. I have taught my daughter some basic things about carbs, proteins and fats, and how our bodies need a balance of these macros to function properly. I don't demonize junk food, or use it as a reward or make it "special." It's just another kind of food that we need to choose in moderation with healthy foods.

I encourage physical activity by letting her play outside for at least an hour with her neighborhood friends, and by signing her up for after-school karate. If you don't live in a neighborhood where it is safe to let your daughter play outside, you need to step up and take her to the park or for walks or bike rides daily.

I discourage boredom eating. I struggle with that myself, so if my daughter wants to snack constantly or eat immediately after a meal, I tell her that she needs to eat a fruit, veggie or protein snack like a cheese stick or ham roll-up.

I role model the behavior I would like her to acquire. I go to the gym or run on a regular basis. I eat meals that are protein, whole grain and veggie based, and eat sweets and chips and other junk in moderation.

My daughter actually has an inherently good relationship with food, so I try very hard not to micromanage her eating. I have a terribly compulsive relationship with food, and don't want to pass my unhealthy issues on to her by interfering too much.

I just want to say how much I love your answer! You sound like an amazing, caring mother!

tiggerhammon

My daughter is almost 8. My husband and I take her shopping with us every week and have taught her to read labels. She watches us pick out the healthier options, the lower fat meats, gets lots of produce, etc... I have been having her packing her own lunches for school the past couple weeks and telling her she can't take all snack foods, she gets one small snack a day with her lunch (my idea of snacks are like cheese crackers though, not candy bars) and she must include a fruit or vegetable. I also won't let her put lots of mayonnaise on her sandwich like she wants to. We have explained vitamins, minerals, proteins, and such to her and the importance of them. My daughter is not overweight, we just want her to be educated - to know and understand. We don't push it much.
Now, exercise is something I strongly encourage. I take her out running at least 3 days a week. She always has a goal of some sort she is working towards - currently she is trying to get her mile run time down to an 8 minute mile (she runs a mile in about 9 minutes right now) and she wants to start improving her short sprint time too.
The only thing I feel I am doing wrong (and unfortunately, still haven't corrected it and I really should) is letting her reward herself with food. For instance, I let her have ice cream on nights that she beats her times or treat her to fast food for lunch on days she beats her distance.
I can see how this one could develop into a really bad habit, but I also see a lot of people who do the same thing. Why not eat that 250 calorie treat after running 3.5 miles? She earned it right? I haven't decided yet. lol

seltzermint555

My daughter is 7, slightly taller, and about 10 pounds bigger.

I have never told her that I need to lose weight. I have talked abotu it with my husband. She's seen my fat pictures. She hears me count calories, weigh food, and essentially obsess over it.

My direct conversations with her about me or her are all about being healthy. Never weight. I tell her weight doesn't matter. Somewhere down the road she didn't hear that and only heard the conversations I had with my husband. Last night we went grocery shopping and in the produce department I let he rpick out ANY fruit and vegetable. She gets free reign. We were perusing for foods we like there that were on special and she said "I'm going to get a ton of healthy food so I can lose weight."

That is so heartbreaking :-( It does sound like you're doing all you can though...amazing what kids pick up on sometimes.

slk_5555

I think its really great that you are consciously trying to ensure she is healthy - so don't be too hard on yourself. As other posters have suggested I wouldn't talk about being over weight etc - I would just correct the balance in her diet & suggest that chips, sweeties etc are not for every day. I wouldn't even suggest these foods are a 'treat' - because then they turn into some kind of reward for being good. It must be a minefield, lol. I don't have kids - just lots of nephews, but they rarely have sweeties etc and were always encouraged to eat fruit instead - which they genuinely love. They didn't ask for other less healthy foods, because they had never really had them - therefore didn't know they were an option.

Josalinn

We were broke when I was growing up. So I didn't have the option to snack and we definitely didn't have chips or pop in the house.

So why not get a bunch or fruits and veggies and have her help you prepare them so that when she gets hungry she can just go to the fridge and grab some carrots, or an apple? You could have her help you grocery shop and say "Go find a vegetable that you want to try, or what fruit do you want as a snack this week, peaches or pears?" I like the idea of string cheese. you could get those little Rubbermaid containers and proportion nuts and fruits and such, or you could make a big bowl of fruit salad and that can be the family's dessert.

I hated sports as a kid because I am/was super uncoordinated. But maybe you could take her rock climbing? Maybe she and some of her friends would like to do that. And if you could rotate which parent took them, its like a babysitting thing. Most places have a belayer, but it isn't hard to belay, you can get certified pretty fast.

skippygirlsmom

My daughter doesn't have a weight problem, she's 14 and weighs 70 lbs. But she does love junk food. I didn't read all the replies so if this was said sorry.

She has a "treat basket", it's a basket she picked out herself at the dollar general and on Sunday nights she is allowed to put 14 of her favorite "bad" (though I don't use that word) treats in it. For the next week she has 14 treats to eat, if she eats 2 a day they will last all week, if she eats 10 on Monday doesn't leave much for the rest of the week. Everything is measured out by serving size so no she can't eat an entire family size bag of chips.

Foods such as fruit, yogurt, veggies are always available "on demand". She can eat as much of them as she likes. After the first week (about 8 weeks ago), she has never ever run out of treats, usually she has leftovers on Sunday.

As I said she is under weigh if nothing else so I didn't do this for diet purposes. However, I don't want her to get in the habit of eating because she bored/tired/it's there whatever the reason. She needs to eat when she's hungry, wish my mom taught me that. She has loved this idea and works for us. I've noticed more and more she is going to the frig for yogurt or the cabinet for peanut butter and crackers and bypassing the "basket".

She's also very active so I do need to make sure I get as many calories as possible into her or she'll drop to 60 lbs like no ones business. She runs track/cross country and plays soccer so she just burns it. I've noticed too she is looking at food labels and making better choices on her own, including not eating the "junk" (her word) from the school cafeteria and packing her lunch instead.

About the wanting to eat right after having a meal. She'll do this to sometimes. It's usually because she's busy talking at the dinner table and doesn't eat as much as she should. She's always welcome to eat up leftovers from dinner if they are put away already. As far as having a "dessert", I ask her to wait 15 mins and if she is still hungry she can have a dessert.

Works at our house.

meca85

Just model for her.
My kid is 1 1/2 and I realized if I don't want to give her junk food, then I shouldn't stuff myself with it.

After almost 6 weeks, my kitchen has changed , it's loaded with fruits and veggies, more grains, yogurts, more protein snacks.
My daughter has her own kiddie foods and snacks, but I NOW have absolutely no problem sharing with her anything I eat.

Like another person mentioned, YOU as the parent have the power now, and yes it is.important not to bombard her with "weight/diet" discussions.
YOU need to shop wisely find the healthier snacks and treats that she will undeniably love and.indulge and.probably not even realize how healthy it is for her.
My favorite and daughter's favorite is sweet potato fries! Packed with vitamins and enough carbs for her to give her energy to rub around.

Another example, i bought myself these mini chocolate ice cream cones to have.ONCE in a while, but my daughter has seen me and she comes.over for a few bites of it and I have no problem because it has just a handful of "readable" ingredients.

Congratulations on thinking on the health and future of your daughter, but it is upto you to be that role model so that she will want to be just like you when she is older.

tiggerhammon

Maybe it would be more healthy to approach this by getting her involved in dance, skating, other sports for extra-curricular. Also, consider talking more about healthy foods, nutrition and balanced meals rather than discussing losing weight.

She is in a dance class, which she goes to every week. She has also done soccer, and we do girl scouts. I try to get her involved in every sport, but she refuses. For instance, softball just came up and I begged her to join because it will be fun...she refuses!!! Same thing with basketball..and when she has dance/soccer she sometimes whines she doesn't want to go. I tell her how much I love seeing her participating and the benefits of going.. but sometimes she seems to have a lot of lazy tactics

?

I never really tried to push my daughter into any sport, just more asked and encouraged her to do something. But, I told her I would help her in whatever sport she wanted to pursue. My daughter has no interest in any particular sport right now, she just likes to run. In have talked to her about track and field and cross country running and she is very interested in that. But, unfortunately, there are not events like that for children her age. She doesn't want to do anything else she just wants to run. So, I take her running.
Help her find what she wants to do/she enjoys and encourage it. But, don't force or push anything.

cwolfman13

We don't really talk to our kids about weight, we just emphasize the importance of living and active lifestyle, good nutrition, and health. My wife and I also practice what we preach...our kids see us going to the gym and out for a run or off on a bike ride, etc and they view these things as "normal" activities and exercise as something that mommy and daddy do so they do it too. We also spend quite a bit of time with them doing active things like family bike rides, swimming, playing in the park, etc. My eldest boy does dance on Fridays and he's played some soccer...we don't really push anything on him so much as wait for him to tell us what he wants to do. Neither of my boys are much for lazing around and I would hope that one of the reasons for this is that they see mommy and daddy on the move most of the time.