rudest thing anyone has ever said about your weight?

dammitjanet0161

A woman in my circle of friends at the time was pregnant with her first child and came to meet us after buying a new maternity dress. She was telling someone else around the table how surprised she was at finding fashionable maternity clothes rather than smocks, then she broke off mid-sentence, looked at me and said "you should look in the maternity section as everything is that bit bigger". Grrr. At the time I was a similar size to what I am now - ideally needing to lose around a stone to 20lb, and a UK size 14-16...

I know it wasn't said in a well meaning way as this woman and I didn't get on very well. Not the rudest thing that anyone has ever said to anyone, but the passive aggressive dig still annoys me years later!

Jenky85

I was at work a few years back and we had an electrician on site doing some work. He came over to my teams area and in front of my entire team and the next team along said 'are you having a baby?' I had never met this man before so firstly how weird to just interact with a complete stranger who you haven't even been introduced to and secondly I wasn't pregnant, I'm fact I was smaller than I am now maybe a UK size 12, and to say it so loudly in an office in front of all my colleagues. It was horrible. The silence that descended over the office still haunts me.

I've also had a guy tell me when I was about 18 that, and I quote, 'you'd be really good looking if you weren't so fat'

Gah!!!

Tillyecl1

I am actually in the healthy weight range already but just want to lose a little more and tone up. I work with surgeons, sometimes cosmetic surgeons and the rudest thing someone has ever said (he was about to do a liposuction and breast augmentation) was "you'd be a perfect candidate for this surgery because you have a good layer of fat and small breasts". I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I spoke to someone else about it and they said surgeons are paid to give their opinion and they don't seem to have an "off" button so just spit out their opinions whether they are asked for them or not!

143tobe

so i think in the OP's case, a child of 5 is heavily influenced by parents and they were not Canadians, they were Romanians.
I also think in many instances you can not know things like origin about people and you have to work with what they say. i think being honestly angry is acceptable if someone is saying something rude, whether it is your weight or something else you just tell them what you think. it is a 'western thing' you hide your feelings when you are hurt. there is no need to be so nice.
sorry about being off topic.

I'm not sure that her being Romanian had anything to do with this. I went to school with a Romanian girl and she was sweet as pie. I currently live in Europe, and my best friend is from Romania. She has never been critical of me ever. Also sweet as pie, And genuine. I think the girl OP is talking about is just a sour grape and not necessarily representative of her culture. I do agree with the westerners tending to react to such rudeness very delicately, but you are absolutely right! There is no need to be so nice in these cases!

gbutterfly

wow - unbelievable how rude people can be. weight is one are that people seem to think it is ok to criticize and judge others. I am so sorry to hear about when people you care about don't stand up for you or take offense on your behalf.

RE the plastic surgeon thing - I have heard from others that folks in plastics get an unrealistic perception. It sounds like they are always trying to sell their craft - but they need to know how inappropriate that type of comment is, completely unsolicited. I think it borders on harassment.


I think it's worse when it's people you are close to - strangers I can just write them off as rude but when it's a friend - it makes you question whether you should be friends. I used to get together with a group of women from a former job. When we had worked together I was pretty slender, in my 30's I had started to gain some weight. One of the women commented that I'd gained alot of weight - I was really blown away. It's true that I had gained weight - but she was in fact overweight also, in fact by more than me, so she should have knows it was hurtful. I turned it over in my head and tried to think if she may have meant it as a complement (like she thought I was too thin before) but it really didn't come out as a complement - it came out as "what happened you've gained weight"

i regularly get the "when are you due" or "how far along are you?" question quite a bit actually. I am about 30 lbs overweight, but I carry most of my weight in my abdomen and thighs. Even when I am closer to my ideal weight I have a bit of belly. When I was younger I was able to blow it off more easily - but in my 30's we went through years of infertility treatments - people just don't know not only are you insulting my figure- but reminding me that I wish that was the reason for my weight gain.

MyRummyHens

I don't have very successful relationships with women as a general rule. Obviously I do have female friends, but I tend to get on a lot better with men. There is a certain percentage of women who are poisonous, life's just too short to waste time around such people.

I had one woman, a complete stranger at a party, express surprise that I was married because "real men don't like sticks, they like real women with curves". She couldn't seem to understand why I found that so funny, nor why my (very manly) husband found it so amusing either!

AmelieMustLoseWeight

so i think in the OP's case, a child of 5 is heavily influenced by parents and they were not Canadians, they were Romanians.
I also think in many instances you can not know things like origin about people and you have to work with what they say. i think being honestly angry is acceptable if someone is saying something rude, whether it is your weight or something else you just tell them what you think. it is a 'western thing' you hide your feelings when you are hurt. there is no need to be so nice.
sorry about being off topic.

I'm not sure that her being Romanian had anything to do with this. I went to school with a Romanian girl and she was sweet as pie. I currently live in Europe, and my best friend is from Romania. She has never been critical of me ever. Also sweet as pie, And genuine. I think the girl OP is talking about is just a sour grape and not necessarily representative of her culture. I do agree with the westerners tending to react to such rudeness very delicately, but you are absolutely right! There is no need to be so nice in these cases!

I mean the only reason I mention she is not native to where we are from is because she does say a lot of rude things about Americans in general and i'm not generalizing any groups of people by saying this i just think that she thinks her culture is Superior so she is quick to put down other peoples cultures.

i mean...for the love of God at her own wedding her cousins from Romania openly called my boyfriends grandmother/aunts fat Americans ..( they are over weight but still)

They said this to there faces too so it was very rude and it hurt a lot of peoples feelings and it ruined the mood of the reception.

idk.. it just blah

lynnmarie96

First of all, your weight is your business and noone elses!
Someone said to me after my recovery from anorexia (which lead to me being a little overweight), "Jheeze you looked better when you looked like death warmed up"!

AmelieMustLoseWeight

Maybe she envies you. Not all europeans are so mean. Back in school a boy I really like told me I was funny and smart and he'd date me if only i'd not be that ugly! Not sure what happened with him now

she has told me before that she thinks i'm a threat to her. which bothers me completely because i'm not the type of person to cause problems for others. I've been dating her brother in law for over 5 years now and I keep to myself. I'm not the type to show skin or anything.. i wear combat boots in summer along with hoodies and scarves... Im always covered.

so it just freaks me out because shes tried to demonize me before and im such a prude when it comes to hanging with people.

shes much tinier than me and shes always making comments about my weight and i think she does it to make me feel bad about myself.

she was always randomly bring up how pretty she thought i was but then would give me a backhanded compliment by bring up that fact that im uneducated and poor. ( i couldn't afford college because i was homeless.) I come from a very poor and broken family and she would constantly talk crap on my mother.. its just.. a crap mess.

AmelieMustLoseWeight

First of all, your weight is your business and noone elses!
Someone said to me after my recovery from anorexia (which lead to me being a little overweight), "Jheeze you looked better when you looked like death warmed up"!

EW who tghe **** would say something so gross.

im so sorry. some people should not be allowed to speak at all.

VanillaBeanSeed

For me it wasn't while I was big, it was after I had lost all the weight. This one woman, explaining how I looked before the weigh-loss said: "She was huge! Bigger than a house." Wasn't even joking. le sigh.

I too have had this.

After i lost the weight, certain people thought it was ok to opening talk about how HUGE I was....

Hannahp1402

'Well you know the next door neighbour, shes getting married, she used to be slim and shes trying to lose weight again for the wedding, shes huge now, she is even bigger than you'

autniccole

Mine is a REALLY old comment, but I still remember it very clearly.

In the 5th grade, when the Macarena was really popular, our gym teacher had us all line up and do the dance (apparently that counts as physical education? No idea.) When it came to the part where you jump and turn around, the girl next to me said "You'd better be careful, you might cause an earthquake."

And one other, in high school - my best friend's girlfriend told me, "I used to be fat like you, but then I stopped just sitting around all the time."

AlexisSpiros

The rudest thing someone said to me was in 6th grade, I was 11 and not even that overweight, just a little chubby and horribly unfit because I was that one kid that never liked exercising. I was the newbie in class and they gave me the nickname Clio. At first, I found it really nice, it sounded nice, so I asked a girl how they came up with it. She flat out said "We're calling you Clio because we're all sure that you weigh as much as a Renault Clio." and went away laughing. The thought of it still upsets me to this day because it marked the beginning of my eating disorder. Ever since, I would switch back between refusing to eat anything at all and binging on anything I could find.

Edit: thinking about that snide comment of my classmate actually reminded me of another thing. It wasn't exactly a comment, but something that would happen all the time in my teenage years. My grandmother and mother would argue about my weight and how the other one needs to give me less food. In my presence. Discussing my weight usually was one of their favourite activities. Yet they both were really big (my grandmother still is, my mother lost tons of weight because she started smoking like crazy when she broke up with my dad)

summerlovely91

A patient of mine that i had seen at the beginning of last year in January came back around October or so. I probably had gained 6 kgs or so because i just had a miscarriage. I dont think i was fat. I weighed 59 kg at the new weight. She told me ''O girly youre so fat i didnt even recognize you, what are you eating''. I think its very rude when people just say things without thinking. I was going through something and she had no idea. And most of the time there is a good reason why someone is gaining. Whether shes comfort eating. Whatever.

And by the way, she was HUGE. But i didnt judge her!

minibandit

Reading some of this is heartbreaking. Sounds to me like this is not a cultural thing with your partners SiL - it's a mean, nasty, jealousy thing. I would take that with the teeniest pinch of salt it deserves.

I have been asked when the baby was due, although in all honesty the lady was as mortified as me when I said No.

My Mum can be annoying. I get a lot of 'But you're so small boned' 'You used to look like a ballerina' etc. That can wear thin after a while. Considering I was under 100lbs at the time she's referring to I actually have no mega desire to get back there.

My sister made me a card for my 6th birthday saying Happy Birthday Meatball on it - with a lovely picture of a meatball on it. Considering she's 7 years older than me I think there was a little bit of 'intention' there.

'You look like a man' has also been leveled at me by my sister. That was nice.

Going back to your original post...I am married to a Malaysian, I have three very close friends, one is Czech, one is Portuguese and one is Serbian (I don't know how that happened) and they all know that calling someone fat would be an insult. They have been here ranging from 1 - 3 decades and they all know that it's a sensitive subject.

Going to see husbands family a few years ago the older relatives all kept saying he looked 'prosperous'. In the end I had to ask him what they meant by it as we certainly weren't feeling prosperous after paying for the flights and he said 'They're saying I'm fat'. :laugh: Apparently it's about having enough money to get fat in the first place.

Similarly my Mum kept mentioning his 'corporation'. I had to look it up and she was referring to his belly!

Now you've got me thinking - those that have mentioned my weight and/or looks most are actually those that are most preoccupied and dissatisfied with themselves. Isn't projection and transference great!

KingofWisdom

Comments sting, but being laughed at hurts. :frown: Oh well, he was a troubled kid.

lucan07

My doctor said my weight was fine, then he added "Your height is the problem you are about 5 feet to short!"

SpicesOfLife

to be fair, isnt it a doctors job to be blunt and tell it as it is? im sure he means well.

alc212

Have only had a couple (they still stick though!):
"You're our little fat friend"
"Come with me, you make me look good"

biglarrr

I take skinny comments as a compliment. I don't really think I'm skinny, except in comparison to what I weighed previously, but last week one of my co-workers said "You wouldn't complain about those hard seats in the lunch room if you had a little padding on your *kitten*".
Yeaaaayyyyy ! ! Someone thinks I'm skinny.

Conversely - as a guy - this was pretty motivational even if it was a joke. It was pretty insulting.
Friend came up and patted my stomach and asked me when the baby was due.
Sometimes you need to be insulted.
I lived in this denial world where I didn't even realize I was morbidly obese, until I didn't recognize myself in pictures from my son's wedding.
That along with a sign for a helicopter tour that said "If You weigh over 250lbs, you must purchase two tickets for tour". I weighed about 280 at the time.
Joined WW two weeks later.

ik70

I have been fat since I was a kid and have heard all sorts of things that people can say , from name calling to making fun of you at every instance that they get. The most annoying has to be when people think that fat people can't be active and cannot take part in physical activities. you go for a hike and someone will ask "Will you be able to do that?".

Elsie_Brownraisin

I wasn't overweight until about 4 years ago, so don't have incidents at school or anything, but my aunt (who worked in an underwwar shop) would regularly remind me that that I had no breasts and that boys would not be interested in me because I was too skinny. The funny thing is that at my largest, I was a 38HH!!

People used to shout at me in the street when I was at my largest, which is odd because I live in the UK and there are a lot of overweight and obese people here. One occasion was very, very sexually graphic and I had my 2 year old son with me. Had he not been there I honestly believe I would have tried to jump the guy and dash his brains on the pavement.

Mind you, my son has Apsergers and regularly comments on my weight. Recently he has started to complain my chest is too bony when I hug him and has noted that my 'butt no longer spills out over the side of chairs'. He reminds me I am still fat though but not as much as before. Cheers kid! I don't take it personally, he is makes similar remarks about everyone (too fat, too thin, too hairy, too smelly, too much cider in their shopping basket :embarassed:)

JONZ64

My (VERY overweight) Sister said "Finally you LOOK like one of us!"


I come from a family that were all skinny kids but got fat in their 20's it was a pattern I didn't want to follow, so I didn't. For years when I would come home on leave from the military they would all make excuses to why I was fit and they weren't "Well the Military keeps you fit"
"If they paid me to work out I would too" BUT the military didn't pay me to work out, I had to do it on my off time, also there were plenty of people (and still are) in the military who struggle with weight. Oh AND they accused me of using steroids and "cheating" when I was muscular.Their favorite line was "When you hit 25 you'll see, it won't be so easy to be all muscles" when I didn't get fat it then turned to 30, then 35 then 40. When I got injured (and lazy) in my early 40's they were almost OVERJOYED I had finally got fat. Last year my sister dropped by on her way down south. She hadn't seen me in a few years. She was angry! Her first words to me were "Why do you always have to waste time with this fitness crap!?"

StarsAreMyOcean

I love the comments along the line of "you would look even prettier if you lost some weight." Um, thanks...I think? I mean I know I need to lose some weight, but still...

I've never been sure if I should feel offended or not with that one.

schoggipfote

I mean the only reason I mention she is not native to where we are from is because she does say a lot of rude things about Americans in general and i'm not generalizing any groups of people by saying this i just think that she thinks her culture is Superior so she is quick to put down other peoples cultures.

i mean...for the love of God at her own wedding her cousins from Romania openly called my boyfriends grandmother/aunts fat Americans ..( they are over weight but still)

They said this to there faces too so it was very rude and it hurt a lot of peoples feelings and it ruined the mood of the reception.

idk.. it just blah

She is not being a b**** to you because she's European - she's being a b**** because she is one...

I live in Switzerland and other than kids being rude to me in school (up to about the sixth grade), the only other people I can currently remember being mean to me about my weight are my dad and one tamil lady I used to work with.

My dad is like that with all people he considers fat or "chubby", but at least he also gives compliments when he sees that someone's lost weight. He's just not one to mince words...

The tamil woman surprised me though - I always used to think she was really nice, kinda the mother-type. Then I bumped into her a couple of years or so after I'd stopped working there, and she was being all sweet and kind, then suddenly she said something along the lines of: "You became fat - what happened? You used to look good."

Anyhoo... I just wanted to let you know that her rudeness is not cultural. Comments like the ones she's made to you would be considered just as rude here. I think it has a lot more to do with upbringing and character than where you are born...

By the way, you are absolutely beautiful!! Just ignore the idiotic things she says and know that she is alone in her opinions. Also, the more things like that she says, the more she's digging her own "grave", so to speak; I mean, who would want to be friends with someone like that? And when she makes those anti-American comments, you could remind her that she CHOSE to move to the States...

QngieZ

Oh,what's wrong with some people?
I can't remember something that offensive that upset me much
There was some of my schoolmates saying they couldnt recognize me(i gained weight in summer before 3rd grade,elementry school)
Here people don't comment in eachother weights that much(unless we're close enough,and it's by joking)

kuolo

A part of me is spiteful and I want to lose weight because of a rude women who makes snide comments at my weight.

This women is European and she thinks all Americans are fat lazy and uneducated. She married my boyfriend's brother and she would constantly talk about my weight.

One of the craziest things shes ever said to me was when I told her I got a second job. I was so excited to have another source of income because I was really struggling for some time.

instead of congratulating me she said " that's good..gives you less time to eat"

She said this in front of my boyfriend and her husband and they didn't think anything of it. I felt like i had gone insane.

That's horrible. But please do it because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself, or someone else.
I stopped eating at 14 because of someone's comment and struggled with myself for years and years. Don't let your self worth become dependent on your size, or weight loss become some form of punishment.
Positive things not negative things

cerumens

Worst thing said to me ~ I was referred to a surgeon several years ago for evaluation of my abdomen. I was having pain and my doctor was trying to rule out adhesions or a hernia. The surgeon started feeling my stomach and said in a really loud sarcastic voice "It is really hard to feel anything through ALL THAT".

He said this while looking at directly at the nurse that he spent 15 minutes flirting with in my exam room before speaking a word to me.

I was mortified and given that I don't ever, ever visit the doctor unless I am truly in pain was obviously let down by the quality of care.

I should note that at this time I was about 180 pounds and am 5'4". In the big scheme of things I really believe this doctor had to have seen many people with a great deal more "that" than I was carrying at the time.

Donnaakamagmid

How's this for rude. I was doing a 5k walk with some friend's and one of them said" Just hang a donut in front of her and she'll keep moving"

Needless to say we are no longer friends.