rudest thing anyone has ever said about your weight?

Elsie_Brownraisin

A part of me is spiteful and I want to lose weight because of a rude women who makes snide comments at my weight.

This women is European and she thinks all Americans are fat lazy and uneducated. She married my boyfriend's brother and she would constantly talk about my weight.

One of the craziest things shes ever said to me was when I told her I got a second job. I was so excited to have another source of income because I was really struggling for some time.

instead of congratulating me she said " that's good..gives you less time to eat"

She said this in front of my boyfriend and her husband and they didn't think anything of it. I felt like i had gone insane.

That's just awful. There's no excuse for her actions and lack of action from your boyfriend especially.

That said, the meanest thing I can think of lately is a little boy, maybe 8, proceeded to loudly whisper to his buddy that man boobies is getting in the pool, look that guy has man boobies. He obviously had no clue how loud he was so I looked at him and said yeah buddy, big ones! That threw him off a little bit but it didn't take long for him to keep talking about me and get yelled at by the lifegaurd (we go to the Y, so Christian values).

My son does this sometimes. He has aspergers and sometimes won't keep his observations to himself. Once, in the showers at the pool, he loudly asked my husband why another man 'has such a small penis'. I think husband wanted the gound to open and swallow him up.

To original poster - you're actually gorgeous. It wouldn't surprise me that she feels jealous or threatened or something. It's hard to think of a snappy comeback at the time, but I'd have asked her how many jobs she does and how mush free time to reflect on what a ghastly person she is, because she needs a lot of it.

123stefania

One of my cousin in Italy told me I would be more beautiful thinner.....
Kind of true. In Italy, they are not shy to tell you that you are fat!
Its the first thing they told you when they didnt see you in a while!!!! almost :0)

Since my journey, I often think about my cousin Roberto.

DucklingtoSwan

i have a friend(close friend.huh?)she z always there to comment abt my weight literaly calls me a buffalo.i dnt knw wat to do with her.she does all this as she z joking bt she z not .****ing embarrasing.

Okay... assuming you otherwise still want her in your life, next time she pulls this:

1. Calmly tell her that "Hey "rudefriend'sname", You know I love you to death, but please don't say things like that."

2. When she gets defensive and insists she is joking, respond (again, calmly),"I know you are, and I'm sure you didn't realize how bad it sounded, but now that you do, I know you'll understand." (if you need to lay it on a little thicker, you can add something like, "I'm so glad that we are so close and that I can talk to you about these kinds of things."

When she doesn't believe you and says something again (and she will):

3. Calmly remind her that you've spoken about this before and let her know nicely that you hope as a friend she can respect that.

And finally, when she gets all defensive and snippy about it, or simply forgets and does it AGAIN:

4. Don't react negatively, just smile and politely remove yourself from her. If you're out, look at your watch and say oh my, I have to get going. If you are on the phone, tell her you've got to run, see you later. Be firm and polite, don't get upset or accusatory, just say goodbye and go. If she gets upset and asks why, again CALMLY (this is key, don't cry and yell and jump all over her) "No big deal, I just have to go, talk to you later." If she is at ALL intelligent she will eventually figure it out. And if she doesn't, then limiting the time you spend with her won't be that big a loss.

Repeat #4 as necessary.

Of course, in the case of this friend, quite frankly I'd just find myself unavailable to hang out with her for a while.

This is an effective method for dealing with all sorts of toxic people in your life. Friends, family, coworkers, whoever. It can be adjusted to fit the situation. Took me a long time to get it right. The key for whoever it is, is to stay calm and not ENGAGE. Don't give them the opportunity to get defensive and make excuses and attack you and make you think you are the sensitive one with the problem. That just feeds their love for drama.

ashahardt

Having being both fat and skinny by 'North American standards' I know this comes from her own insecurity. If you don't feel good about yourself you put someone down. I have done it to, being fat and skinny. I realize that when people say things it is meant to hurt you and bring attention away from themselves, it really just makes you feel worse in the long run. Don't worry about her comments, she's trying to make herself feel less fat or ugly by making someone else think they are worse. I use comments as motivation. Just laugh it off, especially in front of them.

Keep up the hard work. Your doing this for you!

amy8400

After reading this thread, I'm dumbfounded by how mean or plain ignorant some people can be. How can some people be so cruel? If you've ever worn clothes with an "X" in the size label, you know it hurts enough without others pointing out either the obvious or just being mean. (That ketchup on a banana split thing was classic Mean Girls).

IMHO, anyone who has the audacity to make rude comments has issues. At the very least, they have no class, tact or ability to keep their opinions to themselves. At their worst, they have personality disorders that make them feel better, more important, life-of-the-party...whatever...that they can publicly humiliate another human being.

While we can't change how people will act or what they'll say, we can only change how we'll respond. You have to find what works for you and then MOVE ON. And in some cases, distance yourself from people who you think are your friends. No true friend will say unkind or hurtful things about you. If it's your family, it's a little harder but there are ways to address it.

Pipsg1rl

Hi, I just want to say that I think you are beautiful!

Don't worry about making anyone happy but you. Because those people may come and go but you always live with yourself.

ashahardt

People need to find things better to do than to make others feel bad. Each time someone says something, mainly this one girl at work (who has recently lost weight) says something, I die a little inside. I don't need anyone telling me how I look. I won't diet to fit your perception of what I should look like. If I chose to lose weight it is for my health and well being! That being said it is no one else's business! My parents are fitness freaks and since a young age I have been told don't eat that you don't want to be fat and you'll have a heart attack! Believe me after so many years you develop issues with food. I used to hide food because my parents put a deadbolt on our fridge so we wouldn't snack!!!! My mom is as thin as they come and she always complains how fat she is. A lot of my problem comes from my upbringing. I know how damaging say g things to someone is. So I try to be conscious of what I say. In reality a lot of people are ignorant jets so do what makes you happy and Fuuuuuukkkk them!

McCrabby

I've never told this story before because it was just too painful, but what the heck. When I was around 21, a hundred years ago, I walked into a bar with some friends - Pat O'Brian's in New Orleans, to be exact. As soon as I walked in, a guy stood up, pointed at me, and shouted the words from a popular TV commercial, "WHERE'S THE BEEF? THERE'S THE BEEF!" A whole bunch of people turned to look at me and laughed. I ran to the restroom, where I stayed all night, crying, while my "friends" partied on in the bar. Pretty much didn't go anywhere at all for years after that experience.

And while I'm at it, there was the time I was at a little "banana split party" at a friend's house. She brought us all our splits from the kitchen and mine was last. They all looked yummy! Only problem was - mine arrived covered in ketchup, much to the great amusement of everyone there. It was because I was fat, you see, so she didnt think I should have one. And I guess she thought I deserved to be humiliated as well.

There's more where that came from, but that'll do for now. Whew, that felt good! It breaks my heart to read these stories...but at least now we know that we are not alone.

Oh. My. God.

You need new friends. I was horrified reading this! Actually, this whole thread is just a downer.

I really hope you've found some supportive, caring people to share yourself with.

I have! That was in my twenties - I'm 51 now and I have a wonderful, supportive hubby and family, as well as some good friends. I know those are horrible stories, but no worries, I'm a happy lady with a good (though still fat) life. :-)

Phew! Thank goodness

headofphat

Y'all are better than me. I'm a good ole boy from Georgia so if someone i don't know insults me without provocation i can only assume they want to fight or don't mind if i tell them to go fu$k themselves. I don't give a *kitten* what part of the world you are from, talk *kitten* and you get *kitten*.

So far no one has said anything rude to me other than i am getting "too" skinny. I can let that pass.

cfergusontx

You have a beautiful face. I don't know what your body looks like, but it doesn't matter. You are a lovely girl. She obviously has an ugly soul. You said she moved here to go to a Christian college. Well she's not acting in a Christ-like way. I would tell you to point that out to her, but then you'd be just as ugly as she is. Keep your self beautiful inside and out and rid yourself of these toxic people. As for your SO, and his brother, and this Romanian chick -- toxic people in your life are not helping.

MysteriousMerlin

My ex-boss used to tell me a man would have to be rich to put a ring on my finger (because they were so big)

I also had a pair of cargo pants I LOVED, and she would say "I see you have your tight pants on today"...they weren't even tight, and infact I started wearing them after I had lost some weight, and they were slipping down my hips :noway:

KissesHugs2

A little kid at the soccer game on Saturday told me that I looked like I needed to do some exercise.... My son is on his soccer team and got extremely defensive on my behalf.... LOL

headofphat

A girl I considered a very close friend made a scene in front of a large group of our friends that no one should hug me because I'd break in half and went on to loudly comment that she didn't understand why I always had dates because who would want to date "a twig." I later came to realize it was a product of her own insecurity, but at the time it was incredibly hurtful.

If I had a dollar for every time I've been called "skinny b!tch" by a total stranger I could take us all out for milkshakes :noway:

Try to let the comments roll off your shoulders OP, people can be nasty but it's up to us to rise above that.

I think you girls get it way worse than us guys. It probably is because they feel more comfortable that you're not going to punch them in the mouth for talking smack.

I'm really not a fighter but random insults from perfect strangers are unacceptable. That "sticks and stones" rhyme is for sissies!

pseudomuffin

Not the rudest by far but the most recent: my friend has recently gained some weight and has been talking about how big she feels, etc., and made an off-handed comment to me about my still being bigger than her. That stung a bit, though in her defense I think what she was trying to say came out wrong.

crystalrose311

I was at a party dancing and a boy started dancing by me and started singing "watch out for the big girls" towards me. I pretended like I found it funny but it actually bothered me because that was the first time I have been called 'big girl'. I mean, I knew I was overweight but not so much that someone would actually call me "big girl". I finally realized that I was obese.

headofphat

I was asked once on the train how long was I on my pregnancy I wanted to die, but I lied I said 5, I was not going to let the woman humiliate me in front of others.

I've never asked a woman that question but I have been present for that awkward moment and it was super awkward, for lack of a better description. I now employ the rule that i only ask when a woman is due if she is on the table with her feet up and the doctor yelling push. Even then i will ask a nurse in the room to make sure she's not passing a kidney stone.

ValeriePlz

This was my husband, not me, but when he was 18 he was overweight and his dad took him to Burger King, and he ordered the value meal with two cheeseburgers. His dad said, "Just get one cheeseburger. You wouldn't be so F-ing fat if you didn't eat so many F-ing cheeseburgers." My husband ordered two cheeseburgers, then started running that week and lost all of his excess weight that year. But poor guy...

pseudomuffin

I was asked once on the train how long was I on my pregnancy I wanted to die, but I lied I said 5, I was not going to let the woman humiliate me in front of others.

I've never asked a woman that question but I have been present for that awkward moment and it was super awkward, for lack of a better description. I now employ the rule that i only ask when a woman is due if she is on the table with her feet up and the doctor yelling push. Even then i will ask a nurse in the room to make sure she's not passing a kidney stone.

:laugh: I use a similar strategy insomuch that I never ask someone about their pregnancy unless they've told me about it.

bermudamel

I've lost a lot, but I still have a belly to deal with. I've been asked 5x in the last month when I'm due. I know its not meant to be insulting but I can't have kids due to medical reasons and it really hurts.
NEVER ASK A WOMAN IF THEY'RE PREGNANT UNLESS YOU SEE THEM CROWNING!


My mom has told me not to get rid of my old clothes because I'll need them when I gain the weight back. Thanks for the support!

bermudamel

I was asked once on the train how long was I on my pregnancy I wanted to die, but I lied I said 5, I was not going to let the woman humiliate me in front of others.

I've never asked a woman that question but I have been present for that awkward moment and it was super awkward, for lack of a better description. I now employ the rule that i only ask when a woman is due if she is on the table with her feet up and the doctor yelling push. Even then i will ask a nurse in the room to make sure she's not passing a kidney stone.

:laugh: I use a similar strategy insomuch that I never ask someone about their pregnancy unless they've told me about it.

UGH I just posted the same thing, it really hurts me though!