How to not start a juice cleanse

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Replies

  • Unknown
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  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Anyone else strangely aroused?
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Go to macdonalds and order anything but juice. Repeat until not on a juice cleanse.
    I tried, but I wanted some OJ with my Deluxe Breakfast. Do you think the pancakes and bacon will balance it out, or am I on my way to an early death?
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Anyone else strangely aroused?
    I'm Horngry now...
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Go to macdonalds and order anything but juice. Repeat until not on a juice cleanse.
    I tried, but I wanted some OJ with my Deluxe Breakfast. Do you think the pancakes and bacon will balance it out, or am I on my way to an early death?

    The sugar will all immediately turn to fat and lodge itself in your throat and choke you to death. Unless you're eating before 7pm, in which case you're fine.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    That actually sounds like a fantastic meal....
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Anyone else strangely aroused?

    Yes... but I don't find it so strange. Different strokes.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    Ok I'm so confused, I bought the juicer but now what do I do?

    instructions unclear...stuck **** in juicer.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Anyone else strangely aroused?

    Yes... but I don't find it so strange. Different strokes.

    I think he was referring to a coronary infarction, but a stroke could be possible too! Meat and oils have a myriad of fantastical ways to kill us... That's why all meat eaters drop dead at 35!
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
    I put out my fruits and veggies and got ready to juice, but then I remembered I don't have a juicer and that I was hungry so I ate them. Is that ok? Then I ate some yogurt, too. I'm pretty sure it all turned into a smoothie in my belly, so I'm counting it as a juice.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    I put out my fruits and veggies and got ready to juice, but then I remembered I don't have a juicer and that I was hungry so I ate them. Is that ok? Then I ate some yogurt, too. I'm pretty sure it all turned into a smoothie in my belly, so I'm counting it as a juice.

    I don't think that's how it works, you're wrong! Stop being so wrong, please!
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
    At a much lower rate than meat eaters. Many vegans still eat junk food, like oils, or else it would probably be a "no" to your question.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
    At a much lower rate than meat eaters. Many vegans still eat junk food, like oils, or else it would probably be a "no" to your question.

    So I suppose a diehard "frugivore" like yourself would simply live forever?

    Rigger
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Anyone else strangely aroused?

    I know I am. I want to wrap that around myself.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Go to macdonalds and order anything but juice. Repeat until not on a juice cleanse.
    I tried, but I wanted some OJ with my Deluxe Breakfast. Do you think the pancakes and bacon will balance it out, or am I on my way to an early death?

    The sugar will all immediately turn to fat and lodge itself in your throat and choke you to death. Unless you're eating before 7pm, in which case you're fine.
    I was safe that time, but I guess this means no more brinner. *sigh*
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    That's broscience.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Anyone else strangely aroused?

    Yes... but I don't find it so strange. Different strokes.

    I think he was referring to a coronary infarction, but a stroke could be possible too! Meat and oils have a myriad of fantastical ways to kill us... That's why all meat eaters drop dead at 35!


    It's a miracle I've lived this long!!
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Don't drink a gallon of Sunny D every day.
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
    At a much lower rate than meat eaters. Many vegans still eat junk food, like oils, or else it would probably be a "no" to your question.

    So I suppose a diehard "frugivore" like yourself would simply live forever?

    Rigger
    I am not die hard anything. I eat a lot of food besides fruit. The definition of "Frugivore" is:

    "A frugivore is a fruit eater. It can be any type of herbivore or omnivore where fruit is a preferred food type."

    And ALL humans are frugivores, physiologically.

    Live forever, no. Ride my bike farther, yes. Avoid the most common diseases in America, the diseases of dietary excess, yes.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Can the juicer be used to make some kind of alcoholic beverage? After the wang is removed of course.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Actually, if you leave out the candy bars that sounds awesome. Chicken friend steak with melted mozzarella?
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
    Can the juicer be used to make some kind of alcoholic beverage? After the wang is removed of course.
    Best LOL of the day! And this site makes me laugh a lot!
  • royaldrea
    royaldrea Posts: 259 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
    At a much lower rate than meat eaters. Many vegans still eat junk food, like oils, or else it would probably be a "no" to your question.

    So I suppose a diehard "frugivore" like yourself would simply live forever?

    Rigger
    I am not die hard anything. I eat a lot of food besides fruit. The definition of "Frugivore" is:

    "A frugivore is a fruit eater. It can be any type of herbivore or omnivore where fruit is a preferred food type."

    And ALL humans are frugivores, physiologically.

    Live forever, no. Ride my bike farther, yes. Avoid the most common diseases in America, the diseases of dietary excess, yes.

    Hey, sorry, but did you really refer to "oils" as "junk food"? I sometimes misinterpret things in written form and just want to be clear before I silently pass judgment.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    You want us to explain how to not do a juice cleanse. Sorry, but it's just way too complicated. You should google it. There are 100, 000 ways. Each without benefits. You need to decide which benefits you don't want. You should consult your not a homeopathic doctor first. Not doing a juice cleanse is the best way to avoid juice cleanse side effects.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
    At a much lower rate than meat eaters. Many vegans still eat junk food, like oils, or else it would probably be a "no" to your question.

    So I suppose a diehard "frugivore" like yourself would simply live forever?

    Rigger
    I am not die hard anything. I eat a lot of food besides fruit. The definition of "Frugivore" is:

    "A frugivore is a fruit eater. It can be any type of herbivore or omnivore where fruit is a preferred food type."

    And ALL humans are frugivores, physiologically.

    Live forever, no. Ride my bike farther, yes. Avoid the most common diseases in America, the diseases of dietary excess, yes.

    Could the disease's of dietary excess not simply be avoided by limiting the excess? A year ago I was nearly three-hundred pounds, pre-diabetic and had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Now I'm under 190 with normal BP, normal Cholesterol levels and no longer at risk of diabetes, and I haven't stopped eating anything I ate in the past. I can run farther and lift more than I ever have. Success comes in many forms, and when folks start touting one set of dietary guidelines as being superior to others it becomes a religion, and people get turned off. Vegans and Paleo's are the worst offenders, and in many cases some of the most scientifically ignorant. Excess is the problem, and vegans are less susceptible to it for one simple reason, lack of caloric density in their primary diet. It's no more complicated than that. A diet which includes meat, dairy and processed foods is every bit as healthy as a vegan diet, and can be more so as long as the excess is avoided.

    Rigger
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Can the juicer be used to make some kind of alcoholic beverage? After the wang is removed of course.
    2 oz. Vodka
    1/2 oz. Raspberry Liqueur
    1/2 oz. Blue Curacao
    Sweet & Sour Mix
    Cranberry Juice
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
    Hey guys, I'm trying to not start a juice cleanse, how do I go about doing that?? So confused here.
    Eat meat until you have heart disease. Remember to add some hydrogenated oils, because remember, calories is the only measurement that counts. Wrap your oil covered steak in bread, sprinkle some candy bars on top, and then melt a little mozzarella on top! At least it's not as bad for you as evil, evil sugar containing fruit.

    Vegans don't get heart disease?

    Rigger
    At a much lower rate than meat eaters. Many vegans still eat junk food, like oils, or else it would probably be a "no" to your question.

    So I suppose a diehard "frugivore" like yourself would simply live forever?

    Rigger
    I am not die hard anything. I eat a lot of food besides fruit. The definition of "Frugivore" is:

    "A frugivore is a fruit eater. It can be any type of herbivore or omnivore where fruit is a preferred food type."

    And ALL humans are frugivores, physiologically.

    Live forever, no. Ride my bike farther, yes. Avoid the most common diseases in America, the diseases of dietary excess, yes.

    Could the disease's of dietary excess not simply be avoided by limiting the excess? A year ago I was nearly three-hundred pounds, pre-diabetic and had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Now I'm under 190 with normal BP, normal Cholesterol levels and no longer at risk of diabetes, and I haven't stopped eating anything I ate in the past. I can run farther and lift more than I ever have. Success comes in many forms, and when folks start touting one set of dietary guidelines as being superior to others it becomes a religion, and people get turned off. Vegans and Paleo's are the worst offenders, and in many cases some of the most scientifically ignorant. Excess is the problem, and vegans are less susceptible to it for one simple reason, lack of caloric density in their primary diet. It's no more complicated than that. A diet which includes meat, dairy and processed foods is every bit as healthy as a vegan diet, and can be more so as long as the excess is avoided.

    Rigger
    Yes, you can limit the excess, and limit your risk of developing the diseases. Many people eat meat and still live long lives. My meat eating grandparents made it into their 90's, and they were very healthy and active, all the way up to the last year. They ate meat, and fruits and vegetables, but didn't have much processed food. I do commend you for lowering your cholesterol, and increasing your fitness. I actually agree with most of what you wrote, but i think that it's not just lack of caloric density that helps vegans, it's inclusion of foods with higher nutrient density, and higher fiber content. I would put dairy in a separate category from meat. I found through my own experimentation (before deciding on what i do now) that eating meat once a month didn't bring my energy down that much, but dairy would. I think that inclusion of more fruits and vegetables is beneficial to health, even if you don't eliminate the animal products entirely.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    God you people are so mean. All I want o do is not juice things and you're telling me things to juice. GAWD

    more ice cream and oreo's

    I have found the oreo's in the juicer really help you get away from that whole not juicing thing.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    In...

    ...not to find out which toxins aren't being eliminated by not doing this detox that would otherwise not be eliminated by the body while not still eating food.

    You do have to name all of them...not just one.

    Please, OP, don't just give the name of *ONE* toxin.

    Thanks in advance. :flowerforyou:

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