Need opinion.... Not getting along with Gym go-ers

onionparsleysage

I would find a new gym if you need to spend 30 minutes getting ready. It is rude to monopolize the only women's bathroom for that amount of time just for vanity. I can understand the other woman getting upset about it, although she is definitely dealing with it childishly.

If I were you, I would talk to her - apologize for taking so long in the bathroom and tell her you didn't realize any women were waiting. Then I would tell her that in the future I would take the briefest of showers and do my hair & makeup at work.
5 min is an appropriate amount of time.

ahamm002

This is why it's so important to be really polite when you go to a small gym. If the OP had been really nice to the new person they probably could have just talked and worked something out. But now that it's war, there's not much you can do. One of you two will probably have to quit. Until then it will just be an unpleasent experience.

And isn't there some way you can spend less than 30 minutes in one of the only two bathrooms??? That would annoy the heck out of me. Can't you brush your teeth and do some of that stuff before working out?

PolacaFL

Sounds like you are acting entitled: "My fan, my bathroom"

Try being more considerate towards others.

MagnumBurrito

Yeah, talk to her. Worst thing that could happen... cat fight!

Ask her to grab a beer with you after work.

getlessheavy

simple, ask her if you can buy her a cup of coffee to chat a bit - it's really nice having another lady there in the morning working out too, and would like to figure out how to make it work for both of you!

RGv2

Was the fan oscillating, at an angle, or blowing directly on you.

If it were oscillating or blowing on other machines, you could have just moved it so it was only blowing on you, thus defusing the situation. I can't stand the industrial fans at the gym and ask people to do this all the time.

lulukittie

I personally would find another gym. It sounds like the locker room facilities are sub-par, and unless either you or this other woman change your workout schedules, it's just not going to work for you.

Did you visit the gym before you bought a membership? The lack of shower facilities would be a deal-breaker for me, especially if you plan on only working out before work. (I do go to a yoga studio without showers, but only in the evenings so that doesn't bug me.)

lamps1303

I would stick it out a bit longer. She is clearly trying to make a point, in the way any b*tchy girl does. She will soon get bored of focussing more on what you're doing than what she is doing. If it carries on for the next few weeks then I would say something to management. Someone complained about you so you're well within your rights to complain about someone else.

You could always bang on the bathroom door - if she complains, you can just say it's what the manager/trainer advised to do in that situation!

thesupremeforce

It sounds to me like the blame here is shared equally. Neither of you wants to act reasonably, because you're both convinced that you're "right" even if that's not the case.

SezxyStef

I am laughing and shaking my head right now...

I mean really??? seriously considering leaving a gym you like because you feel that one other woman is being nasty...

There is this thing called conversation...when the fan got turned off it would have been very easy to say

"Hey sorry if this bothers you let me see if I can get it so it doesn't blow on you so much..."

With the bathroom 30mins??? really and you knew another woman was there...seems selfish and passive agressive to me...

And after you were approached by the staff it would have been just as easy to talk to the other woman, apologize for taking that much time but you didn't realize she needed the wash room and that maybe since you both want to workout in the morning you could come up with a compromise...

Like oh...you shower...get out, get dressed, let her shower, get dressed then you share the facilities for make up and hair...

It's like you are both trying to out muscle each other at a gym...if you were men I would tell you to put the measuring sticks away...neither of you is winning this war you both just look petty now.

becky10rp

I don't think the issue is who's at 'blame' here - it's what the OP should do.

Personally - I'd join a different gym - one that is bigger - with a bigger shower/bathroom area.

One bathroom is not enough - especially for women (and 30 minutes to get ready for work is NOTHING)!

This is a 'turf war' - and even if the OP wins this battle - chances are - another woman will decide to come to the gym at the same time as the OP - and there will be issues again..........

MissKriss3

Survival of the fittest

SamanthaKayShaver

I didn't see this as a turf war. I believe I've said 2 sentences to this woman and didn't realize the issues were to the extreme until the manager called me. I would gladly give up the bathroom after my shower if someone needed it. But she didn't knock or let me know that she needed it. It would suck doing my hair in the community bathroom/office at work, but i did cut all my hair off for the convenience of only having to spend 5 minutes on it. But 15/30 minutes is just a shower, getting dressed, deodorant and lotion. I doubt that 15 minutes will be appropriate about of time either.

I tried to work out 30 minutes earlier today to accommodate both our schedules, but did not get the outcome I had hoped for. (She was pounding on the door like a raving lunatic while I was showering) The hour left between finishing and when I had to be at work, was spent wasted on facebook in the parking lot. So i spoke to the manager about being refunded/let out of the last 5 months of my contract. I don't have an answer yet, but fingers crossed. Looked into the Y and Planet fitness today and ready to move past the whole situation.

lisalsd1

Why does she want in the bathroom so badly??? Maybe she has some kind of intestinal issue?

I'd probably find a larger gym with more bathrooms. Maybe one that had a separate toilet/shower area.

Platform_Heels

Why does she want in the bathroom so badly??? Maybe she has some kind of intestinal issue?

I'd probably find a larger gym with more bathrooms. Maybe one that had a separate toilet/shower area.

Maybe she needs to shower and get dressed for work too.

OP: Either join another gym or suck it up and talk to her to try and work something out.

alpine1994

In case you're stuck in your contract...

There is a gym just like yours in my building at work. There are 2 showers and 4 girls that regularly go in the morning, and they all discussed shower times that work for everyone's schedule. If another person starts coming, they'll have to rearrange it again but it seems to work out really well for them. Maybe you could ask her if she's willing to work out a shower schedule that works for both of you? She sounds like a real b!tch but maybe actually speaking to her (nicely of course) will change her attitude. Good luck!

djshari

I didn't see this as a turf war. I believe I've said 2 sentences to this woman and didn't realize the issues were to the extreme until the manager called me. I would gladly give up the bathroom after my shower if someone needed it. But she didn't knock or let me know that she needed it. It would suck doing my hair in the community bathroom/office at work, but i did cut all my hair off for the convenience of only having to spend 5 minutes on it. But 15/30 minutes is just a shower, getting dressed, deodorant and lotion. I doubt that 15 minutes will be appropriate about of time either.

I tried to work out 30 minutes earlier today to accommodate both our schedules, but did not get the outcome I had hoped for. (She was pounding on the door like a raving lunatic while I was showering) The hour left between finishing and when I had to be at work, was spent wasted on facebook in the parking lot. So i spoke to the manager about being refunded/let out of the last 5 months of my contract. I don't have an answer yet, but fingers crossed. Looked into the Y and Planet fitness today and ready to move past the whole situation.

I would feel uncomfortable knocking too - but since you've already gone out of your way to switch times to try and be accommodating the problem is her. Maybe the manager can sort something out otherwise I hope that you can get out of your contract.

Platform_Heels

She sounds like a real b!tch

I honestly don't think the other woman sounds like a b!tch. I think the issue here is the fact that both women are using passive aggressive tactics to try and get what they want. You're both handling the situation rather immaturely IMO. Is the shower IN the bathroom or is it a separate stall? If it's a separate stall then I really don't understand why you can't pop in there and shower then when you're done let the other woman know and she can shower while you get dressed for work.

And then there's this:

I tried to work out 30 minutes earlier today to accommodate both our schedules, but did not get the outcome I had hoped for. (She was pounding on the door like a raving lunatic while I was showering)

Did you not say the gym manager said they would let her know she needed to knock if you were in there first? She was probably pounding on the door because she heard the shower running and probably figured you couldn't hear over the water.

Seriously. Suck it up and talk to her and work something out.

Bernadette60614

I'd try talking to her first. Tell her that you noticed that you needed the facilities at the same time, and find out if there is a compromise. Worst case: She's a massive $#$*&. Best case: You've made a new friend. If it's the worst case, either put your makeup on at work or find another gym.

Yep, I think every gym has someone who believes that the gym is their own private facility. If you chose this gym cause you think you'll work out there consistently, it is worth just talking to her.

SamanthaKayShaver

She gets to the gym right before I head to the bathroom so I really don't think it's a matter of our schedules clashing. She was still working out when I left the restroom before all the drama started. It sucks because it the only gym in town where I work. But I pass the YMCA on the way and Planet fitness is only about 10 minutes out of the way. Crossing my fingers!

raneylfrick

Just become shower buddies....problem solved.