why am i lying to myself?

amethyst7986

I say its the same reason we lie to any other person-- we don't want to take responsibility for the actions and our wrong choices. However, when we lie to someone else they are liable to call us out on it and in some cases we choose to tell the truth but when you lie to yourself, who will be the one to make you accountable for your wrong doing?? NO ONE! It is because we know there is no one to call it out that we continue to do it-- and so the saying remains true "you only hurt yourself by lying"

It will take time, be honest with yourself, I say that even if you don't log them on MFP you need to find another way to call yourself out. Write it in a diary, this way you can make yourself accountable without feeling embarrassed or ashamed, eventually you will see what you need to change, for yourself.

Although, I wouldn't be ashamed to log in my set backs or unhealthy choices here....you see we are all here to change those habits and support each other.

Wishing you the best on your healthier lifestyle

Lifelink

If you want something bad enough, you'll make it happen one way or another.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think you want to change.

"Results, not excuses."

WendyTerry420

i need help understanding why i keep reverting back to old, bad bad habits.

hiding snacks from my boyfriend. cheating by getting a junior chicken and not logging it, knowing ill be over calories if i do. i bought cookies from the dollar store the other day - why would i do that when i know my goals and how to reach them?

these habits (or whatever) are what brought me to my highest weight - a scary 244lbs - last year. i am desperate to not repeat history, and yet i keep letting it happen. i remember a few years back, my mom was watching oprah (naturally) and one of the things she (or dr phil, or oz, or whomever) said was 'why do you keep breaking the promise to yourself?' and that has really stuck with me.. but.. i keep breaking the promise. why?

how do you keep your promises to yourself? what (helpful, please) advise would you offer me?

Since I started on MFP, my motto has been "Being honest with myself." I think that you are the only one that can identify why you do these things, unless you have a friend, family, or significant other that knows you well and is willing to be honest with you. Good luck!

anewdesign

For me you hit the proverbial nail on the head when you called it "lying" because the thing about the food demon in our head is to recognize the lies. You know the lie that begins with "eat because you've been feeling lonely and this ice cream will really help", or the one that says "may as finish this pizza because you already ate 3 pieces", or I'm just too tired to fix dinner tonight so fast food it is", or the really big lie " I'll just eat everything I want and start my diet tomorrow". Oh there are so many lies and my own ability to deceive myself astounds me. I would lie and tell myself that the constant severe pain I was in was not related to my obesity. I lied and told myself that since I was so disabled I couldn't exercise and of course I couldn't lose any weight being sedentary. Then there was the lie that it just wasn't my fault because being obese was genetic. My best lie though was the one that got me every time and it played constantly in my head and it went like this. "Food is my best friend and it never lets me down" Well, thank God I finally saw through the lie and I admitted that I was own worst enemy. It wasn't the RA that had helped cripple me, nor was it the heart disease and apnea that threatened my life everyday. Nope, it was my refusal to accept personal responsibility for my own health. I wanted my food fix and I wanted my doctors to fix me. Crazy as hell, eh? I had a wake-up at 339 pounds when I'd been housebound for more than 2 years and I tried to get a surgeon to replace my right knee. It hurt so bad that if I could have it amputated I would have considered it...seriousy. The first surgeon I went to said to me "Your weight is killing you". I actually looked at his face move from concern to astonishment when I replied, "I know". I went home and thought about this and even then I denied and lied for another 6 months until another surgeon referred me to a bariatric surgeon. I thought that perhaps that was a new chance for me and so I began the 6 month journey required by my insurance company before they would approve the surgery. I began a new mantra in my head that began to compete with the lie. The new mantra was a prayer really, a plea for strength to fight for my own life. One day at a time, one meal at a time I fought the lie. I made it through the holidays and I began to feel hope. At the end of the 6 months the bariatric surgeon told me I was rejected for the "sleeve" because of too many co-morbidities, but the good news was that I had lost 50 pounds. I just kept doing what I had been doing for 6 months, logging in several times a day to MFP, logging my food, substituting high calorie food for low calorie foods, eliminating completely the things I could not resist, and reading the many success stories I found here. Today I'm 118 pounds down and still putting one foot in front of the other. The lie still plays in my head but now I am more conscious ot it. I finally had my knee replaced last month and even the post surgery pain was a relief compared to before. I'm dong great in rehab and I'm off all heart meds except one, I breathe so much easier and my GERD is under control as well. I am no longer killing myself but I am living to keep on living. I'm also not arrogant enough to believe that I have it under control. Nope, I'm still vulnerable, but the difference is that I'm putting up a fight, resisting the lie, and some days I don't hear it at all.

inspiring. thank you.

lavendy17

For me you hit the proverbial nail on the head when you called it "lying" because the thing about the food demon in our head is to recognize the lies. You know the lie that begins with "eat because you've been feeling lonely and this ice cream will really help", or the one that says "may as finish this pizza because you already ate 3 pieces", or I'm just too tired to fix dinner tonight so fast food it is", or the really big lie " I'll just eat everything I want and start my diet tomorrow". Oh there are so many lies and my own ability to deceive myself astounds me. I would lie and tell myself that the constant severe pain I was in was not related to my obesity. I lied and told myself that since I was so disabled I couldn't exercise and of course I couldn't lose any weight being sedentary. Then there was the lie that it just wasn't my fault because being obese was genetic. My best lie though was the one that got me every time and it played constantly in my head and it went like this. "Food is my best friend and it never lets me down" Well, thank God I finally saw through the lie and I admitted that I was own worst enemy. It wasn't the RA that had helped cripple me, nor was it the heart disease and apnea that threatened my life everyday. Nope, it was my refusal to accept personal responsibility for my own health. I wanted my food fix and I wanted my doctors to fix me. Crazy as hell, eh? I had a wake-up at 339 pounds when I'd been housebound for more than 2 years and I tried to get a surgeon to replace my right knee. It hurt so bad that if I could have it amputated I would have considered it...seriousy. The first surgeon I went to said to me "Your weight is killing you". I actually looked at his face move from concern to astonishment when I replied, "I know". I went home and thought about this and even then I denied and lied for another 6 months until another surgeon referred me to a bariatric surgeon. I thought that perhaps that was a new chance for me and so I began the 6 month journey required by my insurance company before they would approve the surgery. I began a new mantra in my head that began to compete with the lie. The new mantra was a prayer really, a plea for strength to fight for my own life. One day at a time, one meal at a time I fought the lie. I made it through the holidays and I began to feel hope. At the end of the 6 months the bariatric surgeon told me I was rejected for the "sleeve" because of too many co-morbidities, but the good news was that I had lost 50 pounds. I just kept doing what I had been doing for 6 months, logging in several times a day to MFP, logging my food, substituting high calorie food for low calorie foods, eliminating completely the things I could not resist, and reading the many success stories I found here. Today I'm 118 pounds down and still putting one foot in front of the other. The lie still plays in my head but now I am more conscious ot it. I finally had my knee replaced last month and even the post surgery pain was a relief compared to before. I'm dong great in rehab and I'm off all heart meds except one, I breathe so much easier and my GERD is under control as well. I am no longer killing myself but I am living to keep on living. I'm also not arrogant enough to believe that I have it under control. Nope, I'm still vulnerable, but the difference is that I'm putting up a fight, resisting the lie, and some days I don't hear it at all.

You are amazing. Thank you so much for your share.

I too developed mantras to help me when I lose my focus. That's a good tactic that everyone should develop.

MissLeelooDallas

For me you hit the proverbial nail on the head when you called it "lying" because the thing about the food demon in our head is to recognize the lies. You know the lie that begins with "eat because you've been feeling lonely and this ice cream will really help", or the one that says "may as finish this pizza because you already ate 3 pieces", or I'm just too tired to fix dinner tonight so fast food it is", or the really big lie " I'll just eat everything I want and start my diet tomorrow". Oh there are so many lies and my own ability to deceive myself astounds me. I would lie and tell myself that the constant severe pain I was in was not related to my obesity. I lied and told myself that since I was so disabled I couldn't exercise and of course I couldn't lose any weight being sedentary. Then there was the lie that it just wasn't my fault because being obese was genetic. My best lie though was the one that got me every time and it played constantly in my head and it went like this. "Food is my best friend and it never lets me down" Well, thank God I finally saw through the lie and I admitted that I was own worst enemy. It wasn't the RA that had helped cripple me, nor was it the heart disease and apnea that threatened my life everyday. Nope, it was my refusal to accept personal responsibility for my own health. I wanted my food fix and I wanted my doctors to fix me. Crazy as hell, eh? I had a wake-up at 339 pounds when I'd been housebound for more than 2 years and I tried to get a surgeon to replace my right knee. It hurt so bad that if I could have it amputated I would have considered it...seriousy. The first surgeon I went to said to me "Your weight is killing you". I actually looked at his face move from concern to astonishment when I replied, "I know". I went home and thought about this and even then I denied and lied for another 6 months until another surgeon referred me to a bariatric surgeon. I thought that perhaps that was a new chance for me and so I began the 6 month journey required by my insurance company before they would approve the surgery. I began a new mantra in my head that began to compete with the lie. The new mantra was a prayer really, a plea for strength to fight for my own life. One day at a time, one meal at a time I fought the lie. I made it through the holidays and I began to feel hope. At the end of the 6 months the bariatric surgeon told me I was rejected for the "sleeve" because of too many co-morbidities, but the good news was that I had lost 50 pounds. I just kept doing what I had been doing for 6 months, logging in several times a day to MFP, logging my food, substituting high calorie food for low calorie foods, eliminating completely the things I could not resist, and reading the many success stories I found here. Today I'm 118 pounds down and still putting one foot in front of the other. The lie still plays in my head but now I am more conscious ot it. I finally had my knee replaced last month and even the post surgery pain was a relief compared to before. I'm dong great in rehab and I'm off all heart meds except one, I breathe so much easier and my GERD is under control as well. I am no longer killing myself but I am living to keep on living. I'm also not arrogant enough to believe that I have it under control. Nope, I'm still vulnerable, but the difference is that I'm putting up a fight, resisting the lie, and some days I don't hear it at all.

You really are an inspiration.

Rissyroo513

For me you hit the proverbial nail on the head when you called it "lying" because the thing about the food demon in our head is to recognize the lies. You know the lie that begins with "eat because you've been feeling lonely and this ice cream will really help", or the one that says "may as finish this pizza because you already ate 3 pieces", or I'm just too tired to fix dinner tonight so fast food it is", or the really big lie " I'll just eat everything I want and start my diet tomorrow". Oh there are so many lies and my own ability to deceive myself astounds me. I would lie and tell myself that the constant severe pain I was in was not related to my obesity. I lied and told myself that since I was so disabled I couldn't exercise and of course I couldn't lose any weight being sedentary. Then there was the lie that it just wasn't my fault because being obese was genetic. My best lie though was the one that got me every time and it played constantly in my head and it went like this. "Food is my best friend and it never lets me down" Well, thank God I finally saw through the lie and I admitted that I was own worst enemy. It wasn't the RA that had helped cripple me, nor was it the heart disease and apnea that threatened my life everyday. Nope, it was my refusal to accept personal responsibility for my own health. I wanted my food fix and I wanted my doctors to fix me. Crazy as hell, eh? I had a wake-up at 339 pounds when I'd been housebound for more than 2 years and I tried to get a surgeon to replace my right knee. It hurt so bad that if I could have it amputated I would have considered it...seriousy. The first surgeon I went to said to me "Your weight is killing you". I actually looked at his face move from concern to astonishment when I replied, "I know". I went home and thought about this and even then I denied and lied for another 6 months until another surgeon referred me to a bariatric surgeon. I thought that perhaps that was a new chance for me and so I began the 6 month journey required by my insurance company before they would approve the surgery. I began a new mantra in my head that began to compete with the lie. The new mantra was a prayer really, a plea for strength to fight for my own life. One day at a time, one meal at a time I fought the lie. I made it through the holidays and I began to feel hope. At the end of the 6 months the bariatric surgeon told me I was rejected for the "sleeve" because of too many co-morbidities, but the good news was that I had lost 50 pounds. I just kept doing what I had been doing for 6 months, logging in several times a day to MFP, logging my food, substituting high calorie food for low calorie foods, eliminating completely the things I could not resist, and reading the many success stories I found here. Today I'm 118 pounds down and still putting one foot in front of the other. The lie still plays in my head but now I am more conscious ot it. I finally had my knee replaced last month and even the post surgery pain was a relief compared to before. I'm dong great in rehab and I'm off all heart meds except one, I breathe so much easier and my GERD is under control as well. I am no longer killing myself but I am living to keep on living. I'm also not arrogant enough to believe that I have it under control. Nope, I'm still vulnerable, but the difference is that I'm putting up a fight, resisting the lie, and some days I don't hear it at all.

Thank you.

agann0n

I can totally relate! I eat things and don't write them down, or take extra and don't record it.

I am committing now to recording food in my fitness pal BEFORE I eat it, so I can see on my journal that if I eat it, I'm over. I also think that my all or nothing thinking makes me believe that I can't cheat once, or I'll fail, so I end up putting so much pressure on myself.

I also think that maybe it would help both of us to work in foods that we truly enjoy and look forward to eating... Including junk food. Just less often, but often enough that we don't feel trapped

brenn24179

good thread, I keep telling myself I need to take care of myself and not do destructive things like overeating. When I overdo it, I try to cut back the next meal or get back on track the next day. I tell myself I cannot be mean to myself, get a grip, get on those scales, weigh and be cautious. I have to have a good little talking to to myself!

rebbylicious

I read a book called "body clutter" and it's more about figuring out your triggers and why you do what you do. Nobody here is going to be able to say anything that will help you better than yourself soul searching and figuring out why. The fact that you are sitting here facing the fact that you do this to yourself is HUGE, now you just need to ask yourself more questions.

nmpx

If I want a "bad" snack (like yesterday i had a whole chocolate bar) I log that asap, even when i haven't eaten it yet and log the rest of my day around it. If you have the mfp app it shows you your average calories per week (that's what really counts) and if your well below your goal calories you should be fine. Don't cut everything out, start off just being mindful of your eating habits now. Just by being mindful you will most likely eat less. When you pick up a snack and you look at the calories and know you have to log it you just might put it down for shames sake if nothing else. Start off slow and track everything, just because you don't log it doesn't mean it isn't happening. You can do this!

nmpx

I read a book called "body clutter" and it's more about figuring out your triggers and why you do what you do. Nobody here is going to be able to say anything that will help you better than yourself soul searching and figuring out why. The fact that you are sitting here facing the fact that you do this to yourself is HUGE, now you just need to ask yourself more questions.

might have to check that book out! always wondered if i could find a book to just help with the mental part of weight loss.

LTGPSA

I've been struggling with this as well. I'm back into the bad practice of having (and not logging) snack(s) after I've closed my diary for the day. I know that I'm only hurting myself and that I need to be accountable, yet I haven't yet corrected this.

aeb09

What has motivated me this time to hold myself accountable is that I am finally doing this for the right reasons. I began dieting when I was 8 or 9, to please my mom or a doctor mostly. I was never doing it for myself, for my future and for my health. It has finally become more valuable to me to be healthy than to eat certain foods. Doing research on nutrition and fitness and reading like-minded blogs has helped me learn so much and get excited to be a success story like so many others.

I have my goal (to look great on my 30th birthday which is a little over 3 years from now) and that's all I have to think about. I'll actually be able to start my life rather than hide away from anything fun or new because of my size. I've missed out on a LOT because of my size and I'm tired of it.

You have to be honest with yourself and hold yourself accountable. Log everything. Yes, you'll go over and you'll grimace, but maybe the feeling of going over on calories on those days will sway you from eating the junk. If there are no consequences to your actions (if I don't log it, it never happened) then you'll continue on the same path and never change. Best of luck!!

Wtn_Gurl

Hi - you do it because the taste of the food momentarily is more rewarding and tastes better than not eating it (to lose weight). sometimes its easier just to put something in the mouth rather than take time to eat something better for us.

I find that the battle is won in my thoughts - my motivation, focus, determination, ability to say no. ability to make new habits to replace the old ones.

You have to decide what do you want more and then do it.