Inappropriate joke? Why yes!

icandoit

This whole post just made my day!!!
Thank you all:laugh:

BlazinEmerald

I have 4 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Food at Wal-Mart and
Standing in line at the check out.

No kidding, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
Time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
Ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
Works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
Two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
So I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
Enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
Because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
Sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
As he staggered out the door.

Why else would I be buying dog food??

GTOgirl1969

I have 4 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Food at Wal-Mart and
Standing in line at the check out.

No kidding, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
Time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
Ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
Works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
Two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
So I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
Enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
Because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
Sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
As he staggered out the door.

Why else would I be buying dog food??

Bag of dog food: $15
Gas to get to Wal-Mart: $10
Laughing your *kitten* off: Priceless!!

MontanaGirl

A blond calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blone says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread over the table.

He looks at the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea," and then, he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all the corn flakes back in the box."

Shannon023

How about inappropriate videos - (no bad language or nudity)

http://www.runawaybox.com/video.php?vid=396

:happy:

doglvr_75

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

food_junkie

ROFLAMO :laugh:

barefootbabe

Hey, leave us poor blonds alone!

:laugh: :laugh:


(But I did like the cornflakes one . . . )

pam0206

OMG ya'll. Loved these posts.....I'm just laughing out loud......

dshandt

I wasn't sure I wanted to read any inappropriate jokes, so I just opened the thread, covered my eyes with my hand and read them through my fingers!!!!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: