Bring me your corniest jokes!
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lowlevelrebel
Posts: 75 Member
in Chit-Chat
It's not even 10:00 here and I'm already as glum as a glumdrop. Maybe it's the rain, maybe it's work sadness, maybe it's that I'm not back in Mexico right now - whatever it is, I'm in desperate need of your finest go-to jokes. The more groan-worthy the better.
Pug .gifs also cheerfully accepted.
Pug .gifs also cheerfully accepted.
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Replies
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erm....
Q: How is an ear of corn like an army?
A: It has a lot of kernels.......
How is that for "corny" :laugh:0 -
erm....
Q: How is an ear of corn like an army?
A: It has a lot of kernels.......
How is that for "corny" :laugh:
*giggle*0 -
Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.0
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Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!
:happy:0 -
What kind of cheese does not belong to you?
Nacho cheese!0 -
A farmer lost his wife in the corn field. He went in to find her and got an ear-full.0
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One day two corn cobs, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured corn cob called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured corn cob was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured corn cob, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".0 -
Man: Doctor I've got a lettuce growing out of my bottom.
Dr: Bend over I'll have a look...mmm, yes I think I can see a small leaf.
Man: That's just the tip of the Iceberg0 -
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look grandpa, no hands!0 -
You guys are amazing! Smiling more already
And bonus points for taking my post literally with the vegetable-related humour.
Also, here's my addition:
Guy walks into a bar, empty save for the bartender. He orders a beer, helps himself to some bar snacks and begins to relax. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he hears a voice say "you are the most attractive man I have ever seen"
Looking around, all he can see is the bartender who's just cleaning out glasses, minding his own business. The guy thinks he must have just imagined it and goes back to drinking and munching on the peanuts at the bar. A few minutes later he hears the voice again "you're as smart as you are funny". Again, no one around, just him and the bartender. He tries to go back to enjoying his beer but again he hears the voice "That shirt looks great on you".
"What the hell??" the guy explodes, turning on the bartender, "who's saying all these nice things about me??"
"Oh," says the bartender, "must be the peanuts. They're complimentary."
*rimshot*0 -
You guys are amazing! Smiling more already
And bonus points for taking my post literally with the vegetable-related humour.
Also, here's my addition:
Guy walks into a bar, empty save for the bartender. He orders a beer, helps himself to some bar snacks and begins to relax. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he hears a voice say "you are the most attractive man I have ever seen"
Looking around, all he can see is the bartender who's just cleaning out glasses, minding his own business. The guy thinks he must have just imagined it and goes back to drinking and munching on the peanuts at the bar. A few minutes later he hears the voice again "you're as smart as you are funny". Again, no one around, just him and the bartender. He tries to go back to enjoying his beer but again he hears the voice "That shirt looks great on you".
"What the hell??" the guy explodes, turning on the bartender, "who's saying all these nice things about me??"
"Oh," says the bartender, "must be the peanuts. They're complimentary."
*rimshot*
lol very nice. Hope your feeling better.0 -
Nine out of ten dentists agree that the other dentist is an @sshole.
Okay, not really corny, but...
The other day, at the high school where I work, our Chemistry teacher threw sodium chloride at a student! It was assault...0 -
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Cause the P is silent!!!
Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?
Cause if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan!!! :laugh:0 -
This is Dad's favourite. I hear it at least once a month.
What's a wok?
Something you thwow at a wabbit when you haven't got a wifle....0 -
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex?
A: Let her catch you doing it.0 -
What is 6.9?
A really great thing ruined by a damn period.0 -
This is Dad's favourite. I hear it at least once a month.
What's a wok?
Something you thwow at a wabbit when you haven't got a wifle....
OMG I died.
There was a study done on geese to determine why one side of the 'V' formation is longer than the other.
The conclusion?
There's more geese on that side.0 -
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!0 -
This is Dad's favourite. I hear it at least once a month.
What's a wok?
Something you thwow at a wabbit when you haven't got a wifle....
Yep, that one gave me a giggle! :laugh:0 -
A three legged dog walks into a bar. Says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa (paw)."0
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