"You must STOP losing weight"

dettiot

I usually try and be forgiving of people and think that they're just concerned about me going too far. But luckily, I've only had one person express worry over my goal weight. I think the real test will come as summer approaches, and I can get out of thick sweaters and show off my new figure. Then, when I talk about my weight, I'll see what people say.

It sounds like you've got a good idea of where you want to be and you have your boyfriend to help you out. I'd just let those other people's comments roll off your back. :-)

WendyTerry420

I've had some that tell me I'm wasting away, which is funny because I am still overweight. But I just accept it as though it was a compliment keep on.

yumbinkbugonrox

What's wrong with people? .. Why can't they say "Wow you look great" and leave it at that?.

This, or why can't they just keep their mouths shut?

astralweeks82

I get a lot of opinions too, many telling me I'm "small enough". According to BMI I'm still overweight. I have 21lbs to go, just to b considered a "healthy weight", and may re-assess and lose another 5 for a buffer. But man does that get people upset. I just ignore them, personally.

MscGray

If the goal you set is with in healthy range, keep going for it. Some people just need to finds something negative about every
situation. If I (me personally not speaking for anyone else) stopped ahead of my goal because of people's poorly thought out comments, I think I would have regret and eventually hostility towards those people. You should be the one to decide when to stop!!

jkwolly

Love this!

Keep at it, ignore them!

Sure people feel obligated to give their opinions ( for who knows how many reasons) mostly it is about how they feel about themselves. During the 6 years I have been losing dozens of times and people have asked and then said " what you still are losing more?" In the beginning I patiently explained about my goals and body fat and my bad knee and hip arthritis and so on and found it went in one ear and out the other as they hardly listened to what I was saying about myself because all they cared about was me hearing their opinion of my health.
I have lost over 180 pounds and want to lose another 20 I am losing about 3 pounds or less a month. I like to run and feel in the 160's my legs will be happier so that is my goal and people don't get it.
The questions always keep coming " why do you run at your AGE? why lose more your OK now.
The people in my running club or the lean and fit people I know NEVER ask because they get it.
Your dreams your goals your body don't worry about the rest

You look amazing!

jkwolly

What's wrong with people? .. Why can't they say "Wow you look great" and leave it at that?.

This, or why can't they just keep their mouths shut?

SO agree.

It's jealousy and them not understanding the process.

BlueInkDot

It's because they are used to seeing you look a certain way, they've seen you look a certain way for a long time, and now that it's different, they are concerned. JUST BECAUSE IT IS DIFFERENT. It is hard for people to see that the NEW and DIFFERENT-looking you is actually HEALTHIER, because they are just USED to seeing you the way you looked before. Over time it will change, I'm sure, especially if you gain muscle and eat protein and stuff. Then it's obvious you are healthy and strong and not just crazy about being skinny. That will help them not to worry about anorexia/bulimia and the like, probably.

walkinthedogs

My weight and weight loss is my business and I don't share that with other people (except here on MFP) because I am really doing it for myself to become a healthier person and hopefully age better than my parents did. Obviously people at the rec center I go to know why I'm there because they are there for the same reason to get a workout in for various reasons, I'm sure. If people ask, I say yes I have dropped weight and tell them how if they want to know how I did it (not eating like a pig everyday) and get as much movement and exercise as possible daily. I think opening that area up to other people, like co-workers, fb, etc., then allows them to make comments on your progress or lack of, some you will like and some you won't. I've never understood why people want to put so much information about themselves out on the internet anyway. But if you put it out there, you have to expect to get all sorts of unwanted opinions cause opinions are like as$sholes, everyone has one and they usually stink.

galenofedgewood

I used to all the time. After people got used to the "new" me, they stopped asking. I've stalled for a while and need to get back on the wagon, so I'm sure I'll hear it again. Ha!

You get used to it and as long as your goal weight is a healthy weight (not lower than the BMI's lowest list), ignore them.

deksgrl

I've had some that tell me I'm wasting away, which is funny because I am still overweight. But I just accept it as though it was a compliment keep on.

This. Take it as a compliment.

OP, your before and after looks great!

DucklingtoSwan

Personally, I'm looking forward to the day someone expresses that kind of opinion! But I can also see that it will probably lose it's magic very, very quickly. I make it a policy NOT to discuss "Project DucklingtoSwan" with pretty much anyone in my offline life. I don't make a big deal out of logging (Love the phone app, it's very easy and unobtrusive at the table!) and if people start to notice, great. If not, whatever. (28 pounds gone, but I'm so big it will probably be another 20 or so before it really shows.) I just see no point in inviting opinions by advertising what I'm doing. It will make itself known soon enough, without my saying a word.

I have quite a way to go before I reach the "you've lost enough!" phase, but when (not if, because it probably happens to everyone at one point) I'll just say thank you for the input, take it as validation of my success, and keep on keeping on.

postrockandcats

People I've known longer, the ones who knew me as an obese person, are all the ones that keep saying things like "OMG STAHP LOSING," while the people I've met since losing the weight couldn't give two craps about it.

I think there's a few things going on here. I had one friend who said something along the lines of "you're skinnier than me now? I need to do something about that!" This tells me that I was perceived as the "fat friend" and that deviating from this somehow changes the dynamic of our relationship. So the easiest thing is to have me not change. I also think that some people can't get that weight loss can be a healthy process because of their own disordered experiences with it.

ValGogo

Years ago when I was normal (it's only lately that I've put on weight) and by normal I mean weighing like 180, fit-ish, 175 cm (5'9") my mother would say stupid stuff like "are you sick/anorixic?" I was at my normal weight and I've never had weight issues. I'm Spanish and for some reason Latin mothers want their kids to be fat.

I would get SO MAD!!!!

People are ignorant, especially people who don't give a rat's behind whether they are healthy or not.

Yes, you are doing great, and yes, you need to do some more exercise and yes, I agree you will look so cool at 130 or so. But other people just want to shoot you down and act like they know something about soemthing they do not know about at all.

Ignore them if you can because the next thing they will say is "Why are you so defensive?" GRRRR!

Anyway, you look great.

ValGogo

I've had it too.

This one co-worker likes to tell me her opinions ALL the time.

I started at 174. When I had lost 10 pounds, people really started to take notice. I told her that I had lost 10 pounds and I had about 20 more pounds to go (my goal is 145). She said (very rudely I might add) You don't need to lose any more weight! You'll be too skinny. I told her that my goal was 145 and it wasn't unreasonable for my 5'6 body. She said, oh, I'm 5'6. I said how much do you weigh? She said 148. I said ok, I'm about 160 right now. Is 145 so unreasonable?! She shut up pretty quick after that.

She's also the one that makes fun of me when I post of facebook about my weight loss or exercise. I've stopped talking about it so much because I just don't want to hear it from anyone any more

I'm sorry you are having to deal with similar issues. It sucks when you want to be proud of your accomplishments and everyone tries to bring that great feeling down.

I know someone who can punch her in the face. You want me to call them? HAHA. just kidding. (no but really....):devil:

ValGogo

I have an aunt that when I was losing a lot of weight in college (I was a D1 diver so we worked out a lot) she kept asking me what I was doing what I was eating and stuff because she thought I was losing weight too fast. I just told her to MYOB and kept doing what I was doing. Now a days I don't tell people I'm losing weight, I don't tell them I'm working out (I don't check in at the gym, it annoys me when others do I feel like they're just trying to show off) and I don't tell anyone what my goal weight is. So long as my BMI is ok and my doctors aren't worried I'm going to do it my way.

YUP. I stopped talking to people about it unless they are also into fitness. I don't reply when people ask "How do I lose weiiiiiight? It's so haaaard!" I don't give feedback because they really don't want it. I talk about going to the gym but that's it. I'm not talling anyone about my new lifting regime because I can jsut imagine the questions..... "aren't you afraid of getting big?" Ugh!

BlueBombers

I ignore people and do what I want.

gkauf744

I've started getting this, from a number of people, and so I've couched my answer to the: "How much weight did you lose?" question with, "and I'm actually still overweight..." There was a time in my adult life when I was 20 lbs lighter than I am now, and I was pretty happy with that weight. That was what I picked for my goal, but I've upped it 5 lbs now because I don't want to alarm people.

Jen800

A good ol' dose of "SHUT UP, GOODBYE." Seems to be in order!

But seriously, the best way to get it to stop is to make a quick, to the point statement. Don't wanna hear that crap! Tell 'em what you mean, girl!

frankiep73

I did. I lost 100# in less than a year, but by changing my life. I had people ask me if I was sick, if there was something wrong. I work in a more ethnic area where curves are highly regarded as beauty so being 6'1" and 165# they thought I was too skinny. Little did they know, that I was smack in the middle of the healthy range.

I gained a ton of weight with my pregnancy and no one said a thing... sure wish they would have so I could have done something about it back then, but here I am 3 years later, still trying to get it off before we get pregnant with #2.

I got to the point to tell them that I feel great and that is all that matters! I was the healthiest I ever was in my life!

RainRedfield

I feel your pain. I've been there so many times and it seems moms, aunts, and co-workers are the worst. Strangely I don't believe I've ever had a male tell me to stop or that I've lost too much.