Runners? Safety?
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Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.
try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.
I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.
He said SINCE YOU WERE 12, so like for decades. Not for just one day that one time when your kids couldn't sleep and good old cousin Hal pulled you over and you all got a giggle at why you were out in your nightie and rollers with the babies in carseats.
That's a HELL of a lot different from how men on foot get questioned, DON'T even try to compare, I see it everyday in the city I live. You are SO OFF BASE it's appalling and ridiculous and I don't say this often but I'm gonna say it right now you really should just refrain from this point on about this particular point.
My story... one time when I was shopping for makeup at Nordstrom a plainclothes security worker was looking at me, yeah TOTES THE SAME!!!...not!
I was 8 the first time a teacher pointed to my mini-skirt and warned me of the dangers of rape. When I was 12, I went to a local park three blocks from my house to watch the sun rise and was warned by a security guard about the dangers of rape. I'm not going into the baby sitter or the guys at the pool or etc. etc. etc.
If I were Jof or DavPul on one of these threads, I would ridicule that experience and suggest that he was imagining things or that he was somehow looking scary so the guy with the baseball bat felt the need to question why he was there.
You would think that, given his experience, he'd have more of an understanding of the very real feelings of vulnerability that many women feel.0 -
This thread is just . . . . wow.
Basically if you're aware of your surroundings and something feels off and you do something so that you're not in what you perceive as a dangerous situation then you're being too cautious and ridiculous. But if you're not aware of your surroundings, you ignore instinct and end up getting harmed then you're an idiot because you weren't aware of your surroundings.
Does that about sum it up?0 -
If I were Jof or DavPul on one of these threads, I would ridicule that experience and suggest that he was imagining things or that he was somehow looking scary so the guy with the baseball bat felt the need to question why he was there.
LOLwut? :huh:
And from where is the baseball bat reference?0 -
Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.
try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.
I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.
He said SINCE YOU WERE 12, so like for decades. Not for just one day that one time when your kids couldn't sleep and good old cousin Hal pulled you over and you all got a giggle at why you were out in your nightie and rollers with the babies in carseats.
That's a HELL of a lot different from how men on foot get questioned, DON'T even try to compare, I see it everyday in the city I live. You are SO OFF BASE it's appalling and ridiculous and I don't say this often but I'm gonna say it right now you really should just refrain from this point on about this particular point.
My story... one time when I was shopping for makeup at Nordstrom a plainclothes security worker was looking at me, yeah TOTES THE SAME!!!...not!
I was 8 the first time a teacher pointed to my mini-skirt and warned me of the dangers of rape. When I was 12, I went to a local park three blocks from my house to watch the sun rise and was warned by a security guard about the dangers of rape. I'm not going into the baby sitter or the guys at the pool or etc. etc. etc.
If I were Jof or DavPul on one of these threads, I would ridicule that experience and suggest that he was imagining things or that he was somehow looking scary so the guy with the baseball bat felt the need to question why he was there.
You would think that, given his experience, he'd have more of an understanding of the very real feelings of vulnerability that many women feel.
Actually, what I did was realize that although I did have "very real feelings" that most of those feelings of insecurity or vulnerability were in my head. Just because bad things have happened or could happen doesn't mean it's ALWAYS about to happen. Every woman I pass on the trail isn't about to pepper spray me, every cop behind my car isn't about to pull me over and shoot me, and every male in a isn't about to ask me which street gang I'm representing. Thinking that they were has a crippling effect on my daily outlook that only served to make me a victim.....even when I wasn't victimized. So I made a choice to take reasonable precautions but not be scared of the entire world.
Works for me.0 -
But whatever. I gives no damns anymore. These forums can kiss my *kitten*. People can be scared of other people just like they are scared of the toxins in sugar. And of getting bulky if they use 5 pound weights. Or getting fat if they eat over 1200. You guys can have all of the recommended daily fear servings that you want.
UNSUBSCRIBE.0 -
Dogs are the trouble for me. It's like I'm a dog magnet. I start running and they come out of nowhere and chase me. That is at the park by the way, not when I'm street running lol.
Yesterday I was out walking. I was going through this nice neighborhood. EVERY house that I walked by that had a dog outside (and one inside) started barking at me as I was walking past them. It seems anytime a dog seems, they have to start barking. Feeling seems mutual. I don't like dogs and dogs don't seem to like me!0 -
@gracielynn101 - I will admit that at this time I"ve only read 75% of the thread. On your phone, even if it's locked, do you not have an "emergency call" button when locked? Mine does. I can press that and it gives me a keyboard so I could call someone for help if needed. (Haven't used it yet though)0
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So I've never given this much thought... Living in NYC I assumed there's always people around and I'm safe but this weekend I found myself alone with a big guy steeping in my way on a narrow path... Will now be buying pepper spray and taking self defense classes. Nothing happened other than him asking for my number and telling me he thought I was pretty but it scared the crap out of me... He didn't seem all there and blocking my way felt so threatening... Better safe than sorry is my thinking0
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I didn't read all the riff-raff in between, but here is what I do:
I don't carry pepper spray. Wind, inaccuracy in aiming, etc, can hurt me just as much as anyone else. I do carry two small, lightweight knifes. One on a chain around my neck, and one at my waist. I don't want to carry a gun when I'm running...I'd be the type to shoot myself in the butt and the sweat is really not good for them.
If you don't know HOW to protect yourself with whatever you carry though, you are just as useless as if you were unarmed. You don't want to get into a situation where a weapon (whether it is pepper spray, gun, knife, etc etc) can be turned on you.
I know there's lots of people who question the sanity of people who feel the need to carry a weapon while out running, but it really depends on where you live, how secluded you are, and what kind of crime occurs in your area. For me, that means carrying something. I've never had to pull it on a person, but I feel safer, and it does kinda come in handy when those pesky strings want to pull off my clothes in the middle of a run. :laugh:
ETA: Also, I grew up on a farm, where everyone carries a knife. I always had one stuck in a sheath in my boot. There's just too many things you need a knife for around a farm. So it's already second-nature to me to have a knife. It's not always there for self-defense...it's just a habit, and it's come in handy multiple times.0 -
Dogs are the trouble for me. It's like I'm a dog magnet. I start running and they come out of nowhere and chase me. That is at the park by the way, not when I'm street running lol.
Yesterday I was out walking. I was going through this nice neighborhood. EVERY house that I walked by that had a dog outside (and one inside) started barking at me as I was walking past them. It seems anytime a dog seems, they have to start barking. Feeling seems mutual. I don't like dogs and dogs don't seem to like me!
Seriously? Dogs bark, it's what they do... get over it...0 -
Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.
try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.
I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.
He said SINCE YOU WERE 12, so like for decades. Not for just one day that one time when your kids couldn't sleep and good old cousin Hal pulled you over and you all got a giggle at why you were out in your nightie and rollers with the babies in carseats.
That's a HELL of a lot different from how men on foot get questioned, DON'T even try to compare, I see it everyday in the city I live. You are SO OFF BASE it's appalling and ridiculous and I don't say this often but I'm gonna say it right now you really should just refrain from this point on about this particular point.
My story... one time when I was shopping for makeup at Nordstrom a plainclothes security worker was looking at me, yeah TOTES THE SAME!!!...not!
I was 8 the first time a teacher pointed to my mini-skirt and warned me of the dangers of rape. When I was 12, I went to a local park three blocks from my house to watch the sun rise and was warned by a security guard about the dangers of rape. I'm not going into the baby sitter or the guys at the pool or etc. etc. etc.
If I were Jof or DavPul on one of these threads, I would ridicule that experience and suggest that he was imagining things or that he was somehow looking scary so the guy with the baseball bat felt the need to question why he was there.
You would think that, given his experience, he'd have more of an understanding of the very real feelings of vulnerability that many women feel.
Actually, what I did was realize that although I did have "very real feelings" that most of those feelings of insecurity or vulnerability were in my head. Just because bad things have happened or could happen doesn't mean it's ALWAYS about to happen. Every woman I pass on the trail isn't about to pepper spray me, every cop behind my car isn't about to pull me over and shoot me, and every male in a isn't about to ask me which street gang I'm representing. Thinking that they were has a crippling effect on my daily outlook that only served to make me a victim.....even when I wasn't victimized. So I made a choice to take reasonable precautions but not be scared of the entire world.
Works for me.
So apparently, my own "runners safety" thread yesterday escalated overnight and was nuked this morning. Somewhere along the way, people started calling me names. Interesting. Most people got it, but apparently a few didn't. There was a message behind the humor. DavPul got it and his post above is right on target. (Some will respond with, "yeah, of course he does, because he's a white male too, so he has no way of understanding real fear.")
Yes, there are real dangers out there. Yes, you should take precautions. However, there is a difference between taking reasonable precautions/trusting your instincts and assuming everyone you encounter is a likely threat. The post I made yesterday shouldn't diminish your situational awareness nor does it imply that you shouldn't have any. Instead, I argue that if you assume that everyone you see is a likely threat, then your situational awareness is actually severely diminished. Being unable to discern the *real* threats from the incorrectly perceived ones puts you in greater danger, not less.0 -
Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.
try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.
I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.
He said SINCE YOU WERE 12, so like for decades. Not for just one day that one time when your kids couldn't sleep and good old cousin Hal pulled you over and you all got a giggle at why you were out in your nightie and rollers with the babies in carseats.
That's a HELL of a lot different from how men on foot get questioned, DON'T even try to compare, I see it everyday in the city I live. You are SO OFF BASE it's appalling and ridiculous and I don't say this often but I'm gonna say it right now you really should just refrain from this point on about this particular point.
My story... one time when I was shopping for makeup at Nordstrom a plainclothes security worker was looking at me, yeah TOTES THE SAME!!!...not!
I was 8 the first time a teacher pointed to my mini-skirt and warned me of the dangers of rape. When I was 12, I went to a local park three blocks from my house to watch the sun rise and was warned by a security guard about the dangers of rape. I'm not going into the baby sitter or the guys at the pool or etc. etc. etc.
If I were Jof or DavPul on one of these threads, I would ridicule that experience and suggest that he was imagining things or that he was somehow looking scary so the guy with the baseball bat felt the need to question why he was there.
You would think that, given his experience, he'd have more of an understanding of the very real feelings of vulnerability that many women feel.
Actually, what I did was realize that although I did have "very real feelings" that most of those feelings of insecurity or vulnerability were in my head. Just because bad things have happened or could happen doesn't mean it's ALWAYS about to happen. Every woman I pass on the trail isn't about to pepper spray me, every cop behind my car isn't about to pull me over and shoot me, and every male in a isn't about to ask me which street gang I'm representing. Thinking that they were has a crippling effect on my daily outlook that only served to make me a victim.....even when I wasn't victimized. So I made a choice to take reasonable precautions but not be scared of the entire world.
Works for me.
So apparently, my own "runners safety" thread yesterday escalated overnight and was nuked this morning. Somewhere along the way, people started calling me names. Interesting. Most people got it, but apparently a few didn't. There was a message behind the humor. DavPul got it and his post above is right on target. (Some will respond with, "yeah, of course he does, because he's a white male too, so he has no way of understanding real fear.")
Yes, there are real dangers out there. Yes, you should take precautions. However, there is a difference between taking reasonable precautions/trusting your instincts and assuming everyone you encounter is a likely threat. The post I made yesterday shouldn't diminish your situational awareness nor does it imply that you shouldn't have any. Instead, I argue that if you assume that everyone you see is a likely threat, then your situational awareness is actually severely diminished. Being unable to discern the *real* threats from the incorrectly perceived ones puts you in greater danger, not less.
+1
Spot on ... Love it!!!0 -
Your answer to this, is that women should be less vigilant because you've had to spend two minutes talking to the cops a few times.
try answering "what are you doing here" to men with guns and badges from the time you are 12 till the time you die and get back to me on if it's a big deal or not.
I've had the cops follow me home after I circled the neighborhood a few times because it was the only way to get them down. So, yeah. I've had to explain out of the ordinary behavior to the cops.
He said SINCE YOU WERE 12, so like for decades. Not for just one day that one time when your kids couldn't sleep and good old cousin Hal pulled you over and you all got a giggle at why you were out in your nightie and rollers with the babies in carseats.
That's a HELL of a lot different from how men on foot get questioned, DON'T even try to compare, I see it everyday in the city I live. You are SO OFF BASE it's appalling and ridiculous and I don't say this often but I'm gonna say it right now you really should just refrain from this point on about this particular point.
My story... one time when I was shopping for makeup at Nordstrom a plainclothes security worker was looking at me, yeah TOTES THE SAME!!!...not!
I was 8 the first time a teacher pointed to my mini-skirt and warned me of the dangers of rape. When I was 12, I went to a local park three blocks from my house to watch the sun rise and was warned by a security guard about the dangers of rape. I'm not going into the baby sitter or the guys at the pool or etc. etc. etc.
If I were Jof or DavPul on one of these threads, I would ridicule that experience and suggest that he was imagining things or that he was somehow looking scary so the guy with the baseball bat felt the need to question why he was there.
You would think that, given his experience, he'd have more of an understanding of the very real feelings of vulnerability that many women feel.
Actually, what I did was realize that although I did have "very real feelings" that most of those feelings of insecurity or vulnerability were in my head. Just because bad things have happened or could happen doesn't mean it's ALWAYS about to happen. Every woman I pass on the trail isn't about to pepper spray me, every cop behind my car isn't about to pull me over and shoot me, and every male in a isn't about to ask me which street gang I'm representing. Thinking that they were has a crippling effect on my daily outlook that only served to make me a victim.....even when I wasn't victimized. So I made a choice to take reasonable precautions but not be scared of the entire world.
Works for me.
I totally agree with that. That's the way I choose to operate too. However, I'm not about to put somebody else down because they aren't at that point yet.
Feeling stupid that you missed obvious clues is a real part of what happens when these situations go wrong, so I don't like to add to a woman's self doubt. I worry that I'll encourage somebody to rationalize a real danger. A lot of stranger rapes involve manipulation to get a girl or woman into a vulnerable situation.
Providing the real statistics (for instance, if you are old enough to be on this website, you've already survived most of your statistical risk.) and courses of action (The vast majority of people that you meet are on your side. If you feel worried, ask for help.) that can help other people get to the point of rational acceptance without making them feel crazy makes a lot more sense.0 -
I usually only run in my neighborhood and have my phone on me for use of my running app and music... I use Yurbuds which allow for ambient noise so I will always know of my surroundings... but if you are worried about it I would probably look into taking a self defense class... or maybe keep a whistle on you to gather attention from people nearby in case someone should try anything.
That being said, there is an apartment complex near a cemetary that I've passed on occasion and when I saw people running on the paths I thought It was pretty weird and disrespectful for someone to take their run there... but that's just me.0 -
Always follow your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it's probably not.
^ This x 100.0 -
I usually only run in my neighborhood and have my phone on me for use of my running app and music... I use Yurbuds which allow for ambient noise so I will always know of my surroundings... but if you are worried about it I would probably look into taking a self defense class... or maybe keep a whistle on you to gather attention from people nearby in case someone should try anything.
That being said, there is an apartment complex near a cemetary that I've passed on occasion and when I saw people running on the paths I thought It was pretty weird and disrespectful for someone to take their run there... but that's just me.
I get what you are saying. I don't have specific type of headphones, I usually just leave one out.0 -
But whatever. I gives no damns anymore. These forums can kiss my *kitten*. People can be scared of other people just like they are scared of the toxins in sugar. And of getting bulky if they use 5 pound weights. Or getting fat if they eat over 1200. You guys can have all of the recommended daily fear servings that you want.
UNSUBSCRIBE.
Davpul, I hope there are no hard feelings between us. I thought you did make some very valid points regarding situational dangers, and how stereotypes can lend themselves to different situations.
I don't think that anything you said was inappropriate or offensive. I do appreciate your input.0
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