Men... out of curiosity... why...

UsedToBeHusky

Why would you play with a woman's emotions? What do you gain from it? Do you find that you do it unintentionally? Do you correct your behavior once you realized that you have inadvertently lead a woman on?

I suppose the same can be true of women who lead on men, but I'm curious about the male perspective of this. Women, being emotional creatures, have a tendency to be more susceptible to this.

miss_jessiejane

In my experience, real men don't do that. Boys do it. A real man tells you how he feels and doesn't play games.

UsedToBeHusky

In my experience, real men don't do that. Boys do it. A real man tells you how he feels and doesn't play games.

Agreed... but I meant to address the question to adult males that do. I just want to understand the motivations behind it. What is gained from this kind of behavior?

JoelleAnn78

Chances are good it's not intentional. It's a lack of awareness of their own behaviors and the fact that others have feelings at all. Most of the men I have encountered with these behaviors are quite self absorbed. Shocker.

ETA: That doesn't make it right ... just my observation over the last 20 years.

_John_

Much like people and government conspiracies, I think women give us too much credit sometimes. We either want sex, not to be bothered or sex...

Not that I've played games at all, most of the games are to keep multiple options open for sex. No (fewer anyway) games if the focus is you.

UsedToBeHusky

Much like people and government conspiracies, I think women give us too much credit sometimes. We either want sex, not to be bothered or sex...

LOL! Yeah, maybe I am putting to much thought into this. All men want is sex (most of the time) and everything they do is motivated by that.

Myhaloslipped

I chalk it up to just being an outright selfish **ck and caring more about one's own childish narcissism and self preservation rather than the fact that someone else is being hurt. For the record, this comment goes for men AND women who do this.

GhostShimewaza

Why would you play with a woman's emotions? What do you gain from it? Do you find that you do it unintentionally? Do you correct your behavior once you realized that you have inadvertently lead a woman on?

I suppose the same can be true of women who lead on men, but I'm curious about the male perspective of this. Women, being emotional creatures, have a tendency to be more susceptible to this.

In my experience, women are guilty of this far more frequently than men.

UsedToBeHusky

I chalk it up to just being an outright selfish **ck and caring more about one's own childish narcissism and self preservation rather than the fact that someone else is being hurt. For the record, this comment goes for men AND women who do this.

Agreed... women are just as guilty of this, but the motivations are different. Both sexes do it for the fulfillment of some desire, but I don't think women do it just because they are motivated by sex. Women that do it are usually motivated by money.

I was just curious about the psychological component of the male perspective. Is it ego? Is it an unacknowledged desire for nurturing? Or is it just sex?

I suppose, in my most recent experience, it was probably all three. *sigh*

I'm totally over it. But I was just curious because I know I'm not the first woman to find herself in that position.

Unknown

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Myhaloslipped

Why would you play with a woman's emotions? What do you gain from it? Do you find that you do it unintentionally? Do you correct your behavior once you realized that you have inadvertently lead a woman on?

I suppose the same can be true of women who lead on men, but I'm curious about the male perspective of this. Women, being emotional creatures, have a tendency to be more susceptible to this.

In my experience, women are guilty of this far more frequently than men.

Very true. I have some girlfriends who have treated men like crap as well. There seems to be a trend of basic lack of empathy and respect for others going around these days. Humans in general can really suck sometimes. However, they can sometimes be awesome. I suppose you just have to roll the dice and hope for the best.

scooterjay_wwis

In my experience, real men don't do that. Boys do it. A real man tells you how he feels and doesn't play games.

I simply DON'T DO IT. I wouldn't want it done to me.
If your not honest from the start...why bother?

TheRoadDog

Why would you play with a woman's emotions? Speaking for myself; I don't.

What do you gain from it? I can't imagine a plus side to deliberately marginalizing someone's feeling. Especially someone you are in a relationship with and, purportedly, care about.

Do you find that you do it unintentionally? Everybody makes mistakes, but, if I hurt someone I care about it, it was definitely unintentional.

Do you correct your behavior once you realized that you have inadvertently lead a woman on? I don't lead a woman on. I may flirt with a person, but everyone knows I am true to my wife. Now that I have seen the last question, I realize that I'm not the demographic you were seeking.

UsedToBeHusky

Why would you play with a woman's emotions? What do you gain from it? Do you find that you do it unintentionally? Do you correct your behavior once you realized that you have inadvertently lead a woman on?

I suppose the same can be true of women who lead on men, but I'm curious about the male perspective of this. Women, being emotional creatures, have a tendency to be more susceptible to this.

In my experience, women are guilty of this far more frequently than men.

You know, honestly, I think most people are either guilty of it or vulnerable to it. If you are a man that is vulnerable to it, then you would think women are more guilty of it... and vice versa. But, women, by nature, are emotional so I think they are more likely to have their emotions used against them. I would suggest, to anyone, that if you find yourself consistently running into people who treat you this way, then you might want to consider what you might be doing to attract people like that to you. Identify the characteristics of those people, and learn how to recognize those characteristics in future potential mates.

fitfan11

Maybe, just maybe, women should keep their emotions in check. You cannot be lead when you are not willing to follow.

UsedToBeHusky

Why would you play with a woman's emotions? What do you gain from itinadvertentlu find that you do it unintentionally? Do you correct your behavior once you realized that you have inadvertently lead a woman on?

I suppose the same can be true of women who lead on men, but I'm curious about the male perspective of this. Women, being emotional creatures, have a tendency to be more susceptible to this.

Most men don't do that, intentionally anyway. Yes. If we realize we do it inadvertently, we correct it. The people who do this intentionally, men and women, like the attention and having control. I believe those people can be sniffed out and ignored because playing games with emotiins is cruel. I don't like head games period. I stay away from that bologna.

Now that makes sense to me. I also have a tendency to attract the "controlling" type. So that makes absolute sense. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

UsedToBeHusky

Maybe, just maybe, women should keep their emotions in check. You cannot be lead when you are not willing to follow.

Are you suggesting that women should never trust a man?

I think that is how you end up with women who lead on men.

BarbellBlondieRuns

I hate when men are generalized like this. You can't group a persons behaviors or intentions based on whether they have a **** or not.

Toblave

Insecure men (and women) like ego strokes to feel better about themselves.

IronSmasher

Anything I've ever done with a woman has involved luck and confusion.

As soon as I think I understand, it turns out I don't.

Myhaloslipped

Maybe, just maybe, women should keep their emotions in check. You cannot be lead when you are not willing to follow.

Maybe, just maybe, people should also see when they are clearly misleading someone and keep that in check.

ScorpionQwean

It's how one is raised. If he / she was raised with a role model who teaches one how to be respecful, truthful, and not play with one emotions, then most likely that scenario won't happen. If it does, then that person was just born a **ckhead and doesn't have any wisdom. In the end, when they are old and wrinkly and is ready to settle down, most likely they will be alone.....

fitfan11

Maybe, just maybe, women should keep their emotions in check. You cannot be lead when you are not willing to follow.

Are you suggesting that women should never trust a man?

I think that is how you end up with women who lead on men.

Not saying that at all. Trust should never be emotionally based.

Basically if someone has been lead on by someone who was undeserving of your trust, then that person needs to re-evaluate what they deem to be trustworthy.

DavPul

Women, out of curiosity, WHY? Why do you put your emotions out there, knowing that the man you are interested in isn't interested in you? Why do you assume that just because a man calls you back one time, that he's planning marriage ceremonies in his head? Why, in the face of no evidence, do you y insist on misleading yourself and then blame your gullibility on outside parties?

Why?

UsedToBeHusky

I hate when men are generalized like this. You can't group a persons behaviors or intentions based on whether they have a **** or not.

Okay... but I didn't suggest that all men do it. I was asking why those that do behave this way.

No one made any generalizations about men.

Myhaloslipped

Women, out of curiosity, WHY? Why do you put your emotions out there, knowing that the man you are interested in isn't interested in you? Why do you assume that just because a man calls you back one time, that he's planning marriage ceremonies in his head? Why, in the face of no evidence, do you y insist on misleading yourself and then blame your gullibility on outside parties?

Why?

I see what you did there.

MagnumBurrito

OP, I suggest reading the book Sperm Wars. It explains the evolutionary reasons behind the actions of both sexes. There is a lot of stuff happening subconsciously.

UsedToBeHusky

Women, out of curiosity, WHY? Why do you put your emotions out there, knowing that the man you are interested in isn't interested in you? Why do you assume that just because a man calls you back one time, that he's planning marriage ceremonies in his head? Why, in the face of no evidence, do you y insist on misleading yourself and then blame your gullibility on outside parties?

Why?

Yeah, but that isn't always the case. I'm talking about mixed signals. If you aren't interested, then why wouldn't a guy just say so. Why would he be all wishy-washy about it?

Honestly, I see where you are coming from about protecting your own feelings. That is very important. But when you fall for someone, you make yourself vulnerable to them... that's just part of it. If they recognize that they aren't truly interested, why do they continue to instill hope where there shouldn't be any?

I think a lot of people have different experiences and perspectives. Odds are... no one person is to blame. But I think understanding someone's motivations goes a long way towards correcting behavior, if not for the offending party, then at least for the person that suffers the pain of the loss.

nomeejerome

Humans in general can really suck sometimes. However, they can sometimes be awesome.

I think this is true…

There are some really horrible people out there and then there are some amazing people. Sure, everybody can have their moments, but overall you choose the people to surround you. Some people can tear you down and others can lift you up, it comes down to allowing a person to treat you a certain way.

eta: and I believe this to be true in all relationships.

UsedToBeHusky

OP, I suggest reading the book Sperm Wars. It explains the evolutionary reasons behind the actions of both sexes. There is a lot of stuff happening subconsciously.

Thanks. I'll have to check that out. I believe there probably is a biological component to it, as well.

Howdoyoufeeltoday

I think a lot of the time they don't do it intentionally, they just don't think. They claim to not understand us but I think there's a difference between can't and don't want to. But that goes for men and women, and of course not everyone is like that. I've been guilty of doing that to guys in the past too though. maybe cause it's been done to me so many times. All I know is I'm screwed up beyond belief now and the though of entering into a relationship sends me head first into a bottle of tequila. :drinker: