HOW DO I TELL THE HUSBAND TO SHUT UP WITH OUT BEING MEAN!!!!

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24

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  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    um.
  • lmmathis86
    lmmathis86 Posts: 223 Member
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    Send him an email and type the subject in all caps.

    He'll know you mean business.

    lol....no he wouldnt....he would just talk more!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Wow thanks for all your replys...maybe i'm just over reacting! I dont eat pass 6pm cause when I do I dont see weight loss.

    Meal timing is irrelevant.

    Maybe. Maybe not.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23357955

    I know for myself, I lose weight if I don't eat after 5pm, even if my calorie intake stays the same.

    Hehe... If I didn't eat past 6pm...id be starving, grumpy, mean, and overall a horrible person to be around.

    Oh, I would be miserable!
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    mine says things like this but I don't take it as mean. I mean he is my best friend and has the front row seat to my journey so I take it in stride and if he says something I don't like then I take it as a little hard to take truth. I think back to before when I had gained all this weight back that I am losing again and he never said anything about me overdoing it or quiting working out and I wonder why he never said anything. Often I tell him to keep me on track, so even if I don't want to hear it. I did ask for it. I am sure he is only stating the obvious. Cheer up. he cares.

    edit: I think it has helped me have him see what I do and what I look at on these forums or watch on youtube for motivation. Men have their own view on what helps and don't get it unless you explain it to them what works for you.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Wow thanks for all your replys...maybe i'm just over reacting! I dont eat pass 6pm cause when I do I dont see weight loss.

    Meal timing is irrelevant.

    Maybe. Maybe not.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23357955

    I know for myself, I lose weight if I don't eat after 5pm, even if my calorie intake stays the same.

    *shrug* I eat late and I get grumpy when I can't have my snacks.
  • rachsoderberg
    rachsoderberg Posts: 55 Member
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    Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).
  • Charlottesometimes23
    Charlottesometimes23 Posts: 687 Member
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    I wish my DH would make me a burger and fries.
  • lmmathis86
    lmmathis86 Posts: 223 Member
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    staple divorse papers to his forehead

    That would be over reacting....and I dont believe in divorce in less he cheats. I just want him to get that he dosent have to be mean to make his point.
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
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    Maybe before you beat up your husband so much you should learn more about accurate logging. Just my opinion though.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    I wish my DH would make me a burger and fries.

    For reals!!
  • 4aces61
    4aces61 Posts: 292 Member
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    How often are you falling off your routine? You say you'll start back at it tomorrow, but do you? That's a big problem for ppl. Then tomorrow never comes. We're only hearing one side of the story also. Another thing confusing is your ticker. It looks like your goal is 15lbs, but from reading your rant it seems like you're looking to lose more. What is your exercise program like, exactly. How much cardio/weight training are you doing? Do you belong to a gym? I looked at your diary, it wasn't awful but eating at Jack in the Box twice in one day doesn't seem productive, then having a burger and fries for dinner. There are much better choices out there. I think everyone here has been where you are. You have to decide for yourself how bad you want this.A good support system at home is def a great tool to have. Did you talk to him and ask him why he said what he said? I wish you much luck.
  • lmmathis86
    lmmathis86 Posts: 223 Member
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    Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).

    okay this makes since....do I have to admit I was wrong now!!!! And say I'm sorry? UGH!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    It honestly sounds like you're BOTH a little oversensitive on the subject...He probably thinks he is helping and doesn't realize how he comes across, and you're probably too sensitive to what he's saying because you feel guilty. Maybe, for a while, it would be a good thing to not talk to one another about it and let it cool off a bit. Weight loss is a tricky subject.
  • rachsoderberg
    rachsoderberg Posts: 55 Member
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    Easy, like I said.. men like things blunt and to the point. If you flew off the handle at him, just say you're sorry for doing it. You aren't all wrong either, you could also point out that him being so blunt hurt your feelings. We women are emotional types, and guys really don't know what to do with us :)

    I hope you jump back on it tomorrow full force, and I hope you keep to your goals and do wonderful!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).

    okay this makes since....do I have to admit I was wrong now!!!! And say I'm sorry? UGH!

    Yeah... Calling him an *kitten* on a public forum is one of those things that could be worthy of an apology.

    Just sayin.
  • lmmathis86
    lmmathis86 Posts: 223 Member
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    i stared in janaury at 196 when i found mfp i was down to 180 now i'm 176 was 173! I dont go to a gym I have a bike at home I ride in the house. I have just had a really bad week or so and feel stuck.
  • oneloopygirl
    oneloopygirl Posts: 151 Member
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    Maybe don't go a week without working out and eating right, and he'll realize you're serious about it. I do agree that a cheat day here and there is good and healthy, but a cheat week? Not so much... You admitted yourself that you've put on weight, he asked how much you put back on. Men like substantial facts like numbers, I don't think it was meant as an insult. I get the feeling everything he said was said with the intent to make you realize that you had slipped, because as someone else said... guys are wired to fix things. He knows your issue is lack of exercise and eating unhealthy, so he pointed it out bluntly (women could do well to learn this skill, we beat around the bush too much with feelings and junk).

    okay this makes since....do I have to admit I was wrong now!!!! And say I'm sorry? UGH!

    I think you're a little edgy and sensitive about it because you already know you'd fallen off the wagon, so to speak, and gained a little back. It just made you hyper-sensitive to his comments. Just relax. Tell him you know you need to do better and then work on it. :) Weight loss isn't easy, simple or without setbacks. Learn from the pitfalls and detours and move on.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
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    The fact you already have a "I'll do it tomorrow" mentality doesn't really strengthen your argument. Rant mode activation doesn't make me want to sympathize regardless of whether I think your husband is a D or not. Needing reassurance from others is a cry for attention when you should be solving the issue yourself.

    If your husband went on a forum and talked about you, I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy. Too many beta personalities these days..
  • ShreddingIt_84
    ShreddingIt_84 Posts: 141
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    Never talk to people in real life about weight issues, keep it strictly to strangers!
    We understand! :wink:
  • scare006jack37
    scare006jack37 Posts: 26 Member
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    Good answer! Ladies too often confuse brutal honesty for meanness. If you'd like to hear lies then ask your girlfriends how you look but if you want the truth then ask a kid.

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