Physical Attraction

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Replies

  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    Different people are worried by different things.

    Me, some crinkled 'every day' clothes and no perfume, no make up does it for me more than a fancy dress, expensive perfume and the plastic-doll look.
  • RachyLovesRattys
    RachyLovesRattys Posts: 143 Member
    Please don't take this the wrong way, but was he of asian heritage? I know that when my mother's company (a popular electronics group) sends women to Korea, the men make strange comments towards them without being aware that they are being rude.

    One time a female CEO was told by Korea executives, out of the blue, that she really needs to wear lipstick because she looks lazy. She said in America, a comment like that would lead to a lawsuit and they were completely shocked. They asked why and she explained how you can't comment on people's appearances like that in the workplace, because that has nothing to do with work.

    I'm not saying all asian people are like this by any means- but there is a cultural aspect in certain areas that "allows" stuff like that to be said, and it isn't supposed to be considered rude.

    That being said, it is HORRIBLY rude. That guy either needs to be dropped like a sack of bricks, or informed about what is appropriate and what is not.

    You look beautiful already and don't have to wear perfume every day by any means...don't take any of what he says to heart. He sounds like an idiot.
  • Catfriend25
    Catfriend25 Posts: 95
    Awwww Mistraal, well if You feel that You need to lose weight, it's good You've started now! Is that a Siamese cat???

    SLLRunner, You're right, he said it in a mean way to me and he also avoided me because of this. We were friends for years so it sucks that my weight is coming between us. I'm glad that Your friends said it in a nice way and I'm so sorry for what You went through, very happy that You are now recovered from the eating disorder!!!

    Geebus - haha nice, You are down to earth =)

    Rachy, ah that's quite an interesting anecdote and does show cultural differences! My friend is from Poland, living in England for 7 years. Thank You for Your kind words, I really appreciate it!
  • 8lackie
    8lackie Posts: 39 Member
    What an awesome insult.:love:
    [/quote]
    ....he was nothing but a doucherella....
    [/quote]
  • tinamariecleg
    tinamariecleg Posts: 99 Member
    He's a crappy friend. You don't need that
  • hmaddpear
    hmaddpear Posts: 610 Member
    We were friends for years so it sucks that my weight is coming between us.

    No, hon. It sucks that his rude and uncalled for comments are destroying the friendship. Please understand that this attitude he has is not okay.

    If you want to lose weight for yourself, do so. But don't let this not-friend of yours bully you into something you don't want to do.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    I'm not shallow.
  • sarahmakeskinny
    sarahmakeskinny Posts: 10
    I will say, that sometimes it's the best of friends that will be honest with you. If I'm wearing the worst outfit of all time, I would really appreciate my friends letting me know. If I ask if this dress makes my butt look huge- I want them to be honest. Same with my husband. Friends don't let friends walk out of the house looking like a hot mess!

    That being said- it IS just their opinion. There is a point where you say to yourself.... "I look fabulous anyways". At no point do I let the opinions of others tarnish my self esteem. Don't take his comment as an end all. Some people hate perfume. Some people like women that are thicker. To each their own. Someone else thinks you are ahhhmazing the way you are.

    If you are wanting to get fit and trim for you- that's awesome. If you are doing it because of a negative comment- let me tell you- you WILL fail. If it's not in your heart that this is something you want to accomplish for yourself, it wont happen. Which, could make you feel even worse.

    My advise would be to examine the real reasons you want to take on a fitness journey and go from there. Getting in shape is meant to be a positive road, not one that feels like a punishment for not being good enough.

    Also.... perfume does not make one sloppy or un-sloppy. You can throw a splash of Chanel no. 5 on a wrinkled dirty outfit.... that doesn't make it suddenly amazing. It's a complete presentation. Being put together has nothing to do with weight.

    *hugs*
  • LaviMc
    LaviMc Posts: 355 Member
    That guy's an *kitten*! "Fix" yourself by getting rid of him! Then, you'll be PERFECT!
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    I don't see why perfume is something to be concerned about... it's not mandatory, I know tons of people who don't wear it.

    and in fact a lot of people would THANK you for not wearing it. A lot of people out there with scent sensitivities these days.

    I agree with the no perfume too but there are a couple of people in my office who do not bath/shower as they should and I can not go near them for the BO. Its really bad some days and I would prefer the cologne/perfume to the smell they have.
  • Schmiznurf
    Schmiznurf Posts: 61
    Anyone who says that about another person is a person not worth knowing. Ditch him and ignore the negative things people say, they do it because they have no sense of respect for others or themselves.
  • marleyskye05
    marleyskye05 Posts: 138
    "Fix" your weight for yourself and nobody else. He sounds like a douche.

    this
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Why on earth are you "fixing" yourself to make someone else happy?

    I love it when guys think they are entitled to have an opinion on what a woman does with her looks.

    Is he your keeper? Your father? Your husband? Someone of worldly importance?

    If not, he's nothing and has no say so in your life.
  • ginalovefire
    ginalovefire Posts: 66
    If he looks down on you, he's not your "friend". Friendship should build us up, not tear us down.

    Your "friend" is, as was mentioned before, a douche.

    Learn your worth, pretty girl!
  • jennk5309
    jennk5309 Posts: 206 Member
    If you look at the research on attraction, people actually prefer no perfumes on potential mates. Their natural scent has pheromones, which either attract or repel a potential mate, depending on whether they are a good genetic match or not. A poor match (less likely to have healthy offspring) will smell bad, or at least not good to you. A good, healthy match will smell awesome.....Perfumes mask all that, which is not good. Don't get me wrong, I wear perfume some days, but I already have my husband, and he knows what I smell like au natural. I LOVE the way he smells when he skips a day of showering and the soap residue wears off. His natural scent drives me crazy in a good way.
  • brando79az
    brando79az Posts: 224 Member
    Here is a perspective from another man. Ditch that fool and find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

    Wear perfume if you like it. Lose weight if you like it. Don't do either of these because a particular person likes it.

    Besides, the next guy may not like a super skinny woman or someone that smells of chemicals.

    I don't like perfumes, for example and prever a more athletic woman with meat on her bones.
  • Saucy_lil_Minx
    Saucy_lil_Minx Posts: 3,302 Member
    I noticed the physical attraction thread on here about would You still be attracted to someone if they changed their weight and it got me thinking about my own situation.

    In my case, a guy friend of mine told me that I was sloppy with my appearance. I asked him what he meant and he said that I wasn't as thin as I should be and that I don't wear perfume (something I have since fixed).

    I'm trying to fix the weight thing as well since I am now feeling self conscious.

    First of all NO ONE has a right to dictate who you are.

    If you are happy with yourself, and you are healthy that is what matters!!!!!

    What someone perceives as physically attractive is subjective, and is different for EVERYONE!! There is no such thing as an ideal beauty.

    I have several friends who do not wear perfume b/c of allergies reasons, and I avoid wearing it if I am around them.

    So why perfume = sloppy is beyond me.

    DO NOT ever let someone make you self conscious over your weight or your appearance. If someone in your life does that then, they ARE THE WEIGHT you need DROP FIRST!!!

    It is their loss..... NOT YOURS!!!!!!!!! You will be better off without their judgments, and they WILL BE less in the world for losing a good person.

    You find what makes YOU happy........everything else falls into place. Your inner happiness is the most important part of you not your outer appearance!

    I hope you begin to see yourself more clearly, and do not let one SHALLOW person cause you ANY unhappiness in your life..........EVER!!
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    Perfume? really? Is this something he does to mask his really bad BO?

    As for your weight loss, don't listen to your turd of a "friend." He sounds like an *kitten* hat. I think you should make some new friends. Don't let this clown define you.

    As for me, I use deodorant. So I can smell like the man your man can smell like:
    emmuy.jpg

    Have a nice day.
  • Catfriend25
    Catfriend25 Posts: 95
    Wow, thank You guys so much for the positive and uplifting comments, makes me feel better to read them.
    Yeah I probably shouldn't try to lose weight for another person but my friend means a lot to me. I can see that it was unkind of him to avoid me due to my looks but he was a good friend to me for a long time.

    It sucks that Your coworkers some of them don't take a bath. Yucky!
  • dsb188
    dsb188 Posts: 121 Member
    Stay away from this guy. Also don't lose weight thinking are going to love you more because you are small. People are people.

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