Need tips for dealing with non-dieting husband

tbernard

Because most of you are trying to related to men I'm going to take me "nice" filter off.

My wife used to try to include me in every dieting attempt that she made. It always annoyed me because I knew that as much as my eating wasn't perfect ... I was by far the better eater of nutrition. And frankly, whenever I hear the word "Diet" I think of women trying to starve themselves into skinny clothes which isn't something that appeals to me.It always seems that there is some person in the surroundings who wants to "diet" by making me eat food that I despise.

Don't use words like Dieting. Lots of us guys get visions of eating nothing but celery. I don't diet. I eat right. The word diet should never enter into the room. Recognize that the right foods might be different for each of you. You might prefer to eat salads with water. Personally, I love a nice steak off of my grill. II enjoy vegetables, and chicken, and fish. When I think of eating right, I don't think about how I can eat less just to eat less. I imagine all those foods I like that are actually good for me. Then I look at those foods I eat that are just empty filler. Then, I make the connection between the crap I'm eating and the opportunity to eat more of the good stuff that I like.. Suddenly it comes down to... A large bag of chips..... vs a very large steak. The steak wins every time..

Do go ahead and follow your regimen whether your guy joins in or not. He may even be testing you without knowing it. Many of us have had more than one girlfriend who tried a new diet routine every couple of weeks....starting and giving up... over and over again. Its pretty irritating to try what she's doing, be successful at it, and have her change things yet again because it isn't working as well for her as it is for you.

Make it clear that you are doing things for yourself and make sure your man knows how important it is for you.

We men understand wasted money quite well. We also want to feel like good providers... Next time he brings home Mickey Ds try this:

Eat a bite if you want to...Then behave like it really doesn't taste very good to you.. Tell him your tastes have really changed... And throw it out, before going to the fridge and making something for yourself...Preferably something that looks a lot better than what he is eating..And make it clear that you are enjoying it. (Often us guys have a long history of wives, girlfriends, mothers, eating salads on diets and *****ing about how awful it is to make the sacrifice.)

Your man will see that he has failed to take care of you.... that he has just wasted money.... and you won't be sending a message that says "I sure wish I could have that burger but it would break my diet so I'll just keep suffering" but instead "I really don't like this crap"

WalkingGirl1985

Tell him, you'll be singing a new song -- "can't touch this".

Going out is one thing, but I think when he just wants to order pizza etc, I'd just tell him no, and cook dinner, or lunch or whatever. I mean, its not like he's not getting fed, he can live with whatever you cook for one day.

I can't say no to him for having pizza, it's his choice..don't want to deprive him because of me. If i wanna stay strong in this, then i have to deprive myself. Not him. I don't wanna be a control freak with food.

Pizza does seem to be on a weekly basis at least so its not bad.. He has been supportive.

Nano911

Oh yeah can I relate. My husband does not care what he eats. He jokes that he likes his fried food double dunked with a side of dipping grease. Each night he eats as much as three people and then an entire bag of cookies. When I started to diet he really complained about the food that I kept in the house and where I was "allowed" to go out and eat. Then when I started to workout....omg did he make fun of me. Every day he had some silly thing to say about what I was doing. Here is the thing... I did not quit and over time it became a way of life. Even if he does not participate in your new healthy eating style he will get used to it, you will get better at it and it will just become a way of life. Just like he knew your old ways he will get to know your new ways and that will just be the way things are. Just try to enjoy your journey!!

NeuroticVirgo

I can't say no to him for having pizza, it's his choice..don't want to deprive him because of me. If i wanna stay strong in this, then i have to deprive myself. Not him. I don't wanna be a control freak with food.

Pizza does seem to be on a weekly basis at least so its not bad.. He has been supportive.

Well the way I look at it, its still spending money we both earn, when we have plenty of groceries in the house. So I should have just as much say in ordering pizza as he does. Now if he were to go in our fridge and fry him up 2lbs of bacon, then whatever, I don't have to eat it, but I'm not going to order $10-$20 worth of food I can't eat.....ON the other hand, I LOVE pizza anyways...so most of the time (especially if you look at my weekends on my diary) there is pizza on there. But I'm just saying, I don't think saying no to eating out or ordering in should be all about the food either.

whenever I hear the word "Diet" I think of women trying to starve themselves into skinny clothes

I actually NEED to weed this word out of my vocabulary, because I think that image is what most people think of when you say the word diet. I've started replacing it with "eating healthy"...may not be to appealing to guys still, but my 8 yr old daughter was starting to act very scary when she would hear me say diet all the time. She wouldn't eat certain foods, or would only eat half her food etc...and say things like "I want to be on a diet too"...She's probably already underweight because she's so active as it is...and that behavior was really starting to bother me. She still listens to EVERYTHING I say...so now if I tell her to finish her dinner or something, she'll reply with "You just want me to eat more calories because I exercise"...because she probably heard me talking to my husband about eating more calories when you exercise lol. So, I noticed I have to be pretty cautious with what I say.

lilRicki

Because most of you are trying to related to men I'm going to take me "nice" filter off.

My wife used to try to include me in every dieting attempt that she made. It always annoyed me because I knew that as much as my eating wasn't perfect ... I was by far the better eater of nutrition. And frankly, whenever I hear the word "Diet" I think of women trying to starve themselves into skinny clothes which isn't something that appeals to me.It always seems that there is some person in the surroundings who wants to "diet" by making me eat food that I despise.

Don't use words like Dieting. Lots of us guys get visions of eating nothing but celery. I don't diet. I eat right. The word diet should never enter into the room. Recognize that the right foods might be different for each of you. You might prefer to eat salads with water. Personally, I love a nice steak off of my grill. II enjoy vegetables, and chicken, and fish. When I think of eating right, I don't think about how I can eat less just to eat less. I imagine all those foods I like that are actually good for me. Then I look at those foods I eat that are just empty filler. Then, I make the connection between the crap I'm eating and the opportunity to eat more of the good stuff that I like.. Suddenly it comes down to... A large bag of chips..... vs a very large steak. The steak wins every time..

Do go ahead and follow your regimen whether your guy joins in or not. He may even be testing you without knowing it. Many of us have had more than one girlfriend who tried a new diet routine every couple of weeks....starting and giving up... over and over again. Its pretty irritating to try what she's doing, be successful at it, and have her change things yet again because it isn't working as well for her as it is for you.

Make it clear that you are doing things for yourself and make sure your man knows how important it is for you.

We men understand wasted money quite well. We also want to feel like good providers... Next time he brings home Mickey Ds try this:

Eat a bite if you want to...Then behave like it really doesn't taste very good to you.. Tell him your tastes have really changed... And throw it out, before going to the fridge and making something for yourself...Preferably something that looks a lot better than what he is eating..And make it clear that you are enjoying it. (Often us guys have a long history of wives, girlfriends, mothers, eating salads on diets and *****ing about how awful it is to make the sacrifice.)

Your man will see that he has failed to take care of you.... that he has just wasted money.... and you won't be sending a message that says "I sure wish I could have that burger but it would break my diet so I'll just keep suffering" but instead "I really don't like this crap"

wow, this is probably the most insiteful thing i've read all day...thanx for that...my fiance is also very sceptical about my calorie budget. I told him I wanted to stop eating out so we could save money for our wedding...but tomorrow night is his mom's birthday. I asked what resturant we were going to, but I DID NOT tell him it was so i could research what i'm going to eat and how many calories it will be...he hates that when i tell him what every piece of food is worth...so i've stopped...i keep my journey to myself, and if he wants to know he'll ask. I just hope he joins me soon...i asked santa for a bowflex triple thingy so i'm hoping my fiance will jump on it when he's home...

jac2lyn

I do not know one women tryign to get in better shape that doesnt have a husband / boyfriend who mocks them or tells them they should eat a burger when we really want a salad. I love salad and it is something my hubby will never understand. Salad makes me feel refreshed and more put together, for him he feels like a rabbit. He does need to lose some pounds but I will not tell him that. When he complains about himself I tell him to do something about it if he is uncomfortable since that is what I do. He does not get that I cannot do it for him.

Starting monday I am doing a raw foods cleanse and he is going to try and do it with me. I told him I will only cook / prepare what I am eating and if he wants something else he will have to make it. If nothing else this will help him get a jump start too so I am happy he is willing to at least attempt this with me. I dont expect him to go extreme like I am but I expect his support and so far so good!!

ephay

Because most of you are trying to related to men I'm going to take me "nice" filter off.

Don't use words like Dieting. Lots of us guys get visions of eating nothing but celery. I don't diet. I eat right.

I've actually noticed that it's not just men's attitudes that are affected by this particular change in vocabulary. I started telling people that I'm "eating right & stopped eating junk" and they don't give me static about it anymore!

Do go ahead and follow your regimen whether your guy joins in or not. He may even be testing you without knowing it. Many of us have had more than one girlfriend who tried a new diet routine every couple of weeks....starting and giving up... over and over again. Its pretty irritating to try what she's doing, be successful at it, and have her change things yet again because it isn't working as well for her as it is for you.

I completely agree. My husband initially was very skeptical (quietly fortunately!) but now he's totally convinced. I look so much better & am so much happier after losing nearly 40#.

We men understand wasted money quite well. We also want to feel like good providers... Next time he brings home Mickey Ds try this:

Eat a bite if you want to...Then behave like it really doesn't taste very good to you.. Tell him your tastes have really changed... And throw it out, before going to the fridge and making something for yourself...Preferably something that looks a lot better than what he is eating..And make it clear that you are enjoying it. (Often us guys have a long history of wives, girlfriends, mothers, eating salads on diets and *****ing about how awful it is to make the sacrifice.)

Your man will see that he has failed to take care of you.... that he has just wasted money.... and you won't be sending a message that says "I sure wish I could have that burger but it would break my diet so I'll just keep suffering" but instead "I really don't like this crap"

I freakin' this point. Presentation people...it's all in the presentation! :laugh: But it's an awesome point. I don't know if he'll feel like a failure but it will torque him off that he wasted money (though the spin on that is that YOU wasted it because you didn't eat it) and it will totally prevent him from including you in that next time!

My husband has been awesome about my journey. He must have made a few cracks to his buddies when I first got going because a buddy of his was told to bring something to snack on for the Steelers game last week. His friend's reply was "Well, ask Heather what I should bring. I have some tofu so she can eat too!" My retort (because his buddy's diet just FAILED miserably) was that he shouldn't hate just because I was able to stick to my method & he wasn't! Now that my gut is gone and his is well...." But nearly 40# later, my husband is a believer AND a supporter!

amysj303

I saw this and thought it was worth a link:
http://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/dieting-with-a-non-dieting-spouse.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthHealthyLiving_20101029