What if I don't really care?
Replies
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So I'm about 15 lbs overweight.... Here's the thing, I'm starting to wonder, what if, deep down, I don't really care that i'm not my "ideal" weight? ... Or has anyone come to the realization that they're happy just the way they are?
This was me about 5 years ago - 'only' 15 pounds over a healthy BMI and I had convinced myself I didn't care. I got plenty of exercise and could walk all day, wasn't unhealthy... But sometimes I could tell I secretly did care. For example, I'd vet photos of myself before posting them on FB to make sure they were flattering. And finally decided to lose weight when I noticed this: I would get short of breath walking up a steep hill. But it wasn't being out of breath that made me want to change, it was the fact that if I was with someone having a conversation, I would work really hard to make sure that that person didn't notice I was short of breath, i.e. try to keep talking normally. So I had to admit to myself that I did care - I was trying to persuade everyone including myself that I wasn't unhealthy or unhappy with my weight, but once I admitted to myself that I did care, it was much easier to find the discipline to change it.0 -
Sounds like you love the body your in. Enjoy.0
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As long as you have a healthy bmi, I say good for you. It's really Madison Avenue that says you should be a size 2 and look a certain way. All that matters is that you are healthy and happy with yourself. You don't need to live up to anyone's preconceived notion of who you should be on any level. Be your own person and have no regrets.
For the record: BMI = Worst. Metric. Ever.
Healthy BMI does not = Healthy... especially in people below 'average' height.
But that's another thread...0 -
For the record: BMI = Worst. Metric. Ever.
Healthy BMI does not = Healthy... especially in people below 'average' height.
But that's another thread...
definetly for another thread
BMI is useful for assessing levels of obesity
once in "healthy range" BF%, hip-to-waist ratio and fitness goals are a lot more useful
[but for many people (like me) who start overweight and obese, just getting into the "healthy" range is a big milestone - I know BMI is not a "good" measure but it was still an achievement, my achievement, now my target has moved to macro, BF, and pool speed]0 -
15lbs overweight isn't enough to make you unhealthy. If you're truly happy with your body, don't worry about it.I don't think a size 2 is healthy or attractive!!
I'm a size 2, and quite healthy, thank you very much.0 -
And finally decided to lose weight when I noticed this: I would get short of breath walking up a steep hill. But it wasn't being out of breath that made me want to change, it was the fact that if I was with someone having a conversation, I would work really hard to make sure that that person didn't notice I was short of breath, i.e. try to keep talking normally.
Oh my God, I do that!
Or DID that, I guess. I'm fitter now! :drinker:0 -
Hey all!
So I'm about 15 lbs overweight. I've lost a few pounds here and there and then gained them right back. Here's the thing, I'm starting to wonder, what if, deep down, I don't really care that i'm not my "ideal" weight? I mean sure I'm always like "oh I'd love to be a size 2 and look perfect in bikinis, yada yada" and i'll eat well and exercise for a couple days, but then i'm right back to the unhealthy habits. Its like I know what I should be doing but when the junk food is in front of me I just dig in. Does anyone else struggle with this? what have you done to stay motivated? Or has anyone come to the realization that they're happy just the way they are?
I went through it, and it was 15 lbs...then 15 became 25, which became 50, which became 75. It happened in the blink of an eye. I saw a picture of myself and almost died. The sick thing is the picture was of me shoving a giant hunk of cantaloupe in my mouth.
Don't get there. Fight and care.0 -
Why are you here, then? :huh:
She's trying to figure it out.
Sometimes getting it out and rereading it makes it easier to do that. That's what this forum is for, support.
Someone can have all the support in the world, but if they "don't really care", then they are wasting their time entirely, because nothing will stick long term if your heart isn't in it.0 -
I don't think a size 2 is healthy or attractive!!Hey all!
So I'm about 15 lbs overweight. I've lost a few pounds here and there and then gained them right back. Here's the thing, I'm starting to wonder, what if, deep down, I don't really care that i'm not my "ideal" weight? I mean sure I'm always like "oh I'd love to be a size 2 and look perfect in bikinis, yada yada" and i'll eat well and exercise for a couple days, but then i'm right back to the unhealthy habits. Its like I know what I should be doing but when the junk food is in front of me I just dig in. Does anyone else struggle with this? what have you done to stay motivated? Or has anyone come to the realization that they're happy just the way they are?
<
I'm so unhealthy and unattractive, guys!! HELP! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I'd say that if you really are happy--and you really are just 15 pounds over your ideal--then just be happy. But as others have said, you're here, so there's a part of you that does care. You might not care enough today to work on it. Maybe just make sure you maintain your current point and consider actively losing later.0
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If you don't care then quit worrying about it.
Losing weight is HARD. You have to care ALOT in order to be committed to the hard work and sacrifice.
You have to be able to see the big picture. It's more than weight loss. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1254045-it-s-more-than-weight-loss
If you don't care, then you aren't ready. And that's fine. You may be more ready later.0 -
I so agree with you on this one. But of course I'm here for a reason.
I've been fat my entire life, and it never really affected me. I was healthy, I played sports, I had boyfriends and a lot of love in my life. I wore bathing suits and wasn't ashamed of myself, and would call anyone out who tried to shame me.
Then I turned 40 and all hell broke loose. I didn't get diabetes because I'm fat, I'm predisposed to it, I'm aboriginal and it's rampant through my family, skinny and fat. But nobody will tell you the fat helps.
If I could talk to my former self, my younger self, I would commend her on her self esteem. AND I would tell her to put down the damned doughnut.
If you truly don't have anything you would tell your younger self, then you aren't ready yet.0 -
I think everyone has been here at one tome or another. For me, one day I just got tired of the rollercoaster. Now. it's just my way of life to maintain a healthy weight and feel good every day. If you feel good the way you are, then don't change. If you don't, change it.0
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As long as you have a healthy bmi, I say good for you. It's really Madison Avenue that says you should be a size 2 and look a certain way. All that matters is that you are healthy and happy with yourself. You don't need to live up to anyone's preconceived notion of who you should be on any level. Be your own person and have no regrets.
I agree with this.
I honestly don't even know what brought you to this website if you're not bothered with your current weight and body. But I say good for you, if you're healthy...you don't need to change just to meet some sort of societal ideal...not unless it's YOUR ideal, too.0 -
Hey all!
So I'm about 15 lbs overweight. I've lost a few pounds here and there and then gained them right back. Here's the thing, I'm starting to wonder, what if, deep down, I don't really care that i'm not my "ideal" weight? I mean sure I'm always like "oh I'd love to be a size 2 and look perfect in bikinis, yada yada" and i'll eat well and exercise for a couple days, but then i'm right back to the unhealthy habits. Its like I know what I should be doing but when the junk food is in front of me I just dig in. Does anyone else struggle with this? what have you done to stay motivated? Or has anyone come to the realization that they're happy just the way they are?
To the OP: I think there is a difference between being Happy and being Complacent. Only you will know which of the two you are. I spent the majority of my 20s carrying around an extra 10-15 lbs from college, and it slowly grew and grew and because I wasn't paying attention, it ended up being 30 lbs. It's not as much as some people have to lose, but for me it was a real wake up call. You'll choose when to care, and now may not be the time. Or you're simply happy the way you are. Either way, it's your decision.I don't think a size 2 is healthy or attractive!!
Oh really? Interesting. So what is a "healthy" or "attractive" size?
You know, size shaming isn't really good in either direction, going bigger or smaller. People are born with a particular bone structure and a set of genetics. Can't really control whether you pop out 6'0" and a size 12 or 5'" and a size 0.0 -
Not caring when you're 15 lbs overweight at 25 years old is what I'd consider a slippery slope....next thing, you're 25 or maybe 40 lbs overweight, and 35 years old, and it seems to just get harder and harder to lose for women as we age.
If I could go back and tell my 25 year old self something right now...it would be to care about what I eat and to make exercise a regular part of my life.
Just my 2 cents... good luck to you though! :drinker:0 -
Why are you here, then? :huh:
She's trying to figure it out. Sometimes getting it out and rereading it makes it easier to do that. That's what this forum is for, support.
Someone can have all the support in the world, but if they "don't really care", then they are wasting their time entirely, because nothing will stick long term if your heart isn't in it.
If she really didn't care she wouldn't be here. Quit being a hater.0 -
Mentally this is the BEST place you can be! Why? Because most people fail at weight loss because they care too much!
If you are happy with were you are weight wise then COOL, let that be that. You are now in a box (sorry I hate to label it as such), A box where you are content with who you are! Great! You look good, you feel good, life is good.
Now you are in the phase to grow, where do you go from here?
I too am at this point as well.
I still use MFP.
I still go on and on about health and fitness.
I set goals that are health related.
I don't care if i lose weight as long as I am sticking to clean eating and working out (it's truly a lifestyle)
Lastly, I live each day as a new one, some good, some not so good.
Do what works for you!0 -
Hey Coffee freak, have you ever examined your connection to food? There are thousands of nutritionists / trainers with the most cutting edge technology and yet the country is suffering an epidemic in obesity. I am willing to bet You reach for junk to fill an emotional need. We as a society reward ourselves for everything, Birthday cake, wedding cake, business lunches, REWARDS like ice cream, candy, we dine out to court, to simply celebrate life, death, mile stones and achievements with food. You get the point but so often people turn to food to fill emotional needs or inadequacies its what society has programed you to do. How does Junk food serve your body as fuel ( lets be honest food is fuel for our body) any other explanation is a story we tell ourselves. I challenge you to seek understanding of what beliefs keep you eating crap and what beliefs would give you the body / fitness you desire. I my self don't care much about the numbers but care greatly in the way I feel and the level at which I can create. I have only started my journey but have found the cleaner I eat the better I preform and create. I want to experience this life in a body of health to live, Live Big, to never be ashamed because I was captive to a belief that didn't serve me. Is a bag of crap worth being self conscience in a bikini or do you tell yourself a story that serves you and put the crap down. My last point; Just saying you are happy the way you are is another coping mechanism you can say it but when you say it in the mirror can you believe yourself? you are your own motivation you will never experience lasting results for any other reason.0
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Staying healthy is obviously important to you - this seems to be your goal. Judging yourself in the light of other's successes is not important. Be true to you.0
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It's totally fine if you don't care. You're allowed to choose how you prefer to look. If being overweight doesn't bother you, then yay! Enjoy!
If you're happy being overweight, but are concerned about your health, then you need to find a way to make yourself care, or else you won't change your habits.0 -
I am not a size 2 and I wear a two piece...note profile pic...at that point I was about 162lbs...
I am a size 5/6 and I think I look great in one...
If you really don't care that's fine...I suspect you are not overweight...why not do something else besides look at scale weight etc...
Try resistence training...weight training or heavy lifting...
I have found that has done more for my body than losing weight alone ever did.
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
Check out staci...0 -
Quote: "Actually, that makes a lot of sense. I know this website works! I lost 12lbs doing MFP before but I was in college and doing it with all my roommates. Now i'm married and my husband couldn't gain weight if he tried"
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OK now I have to respond. I too was married to that guy that couldn't gain weight if he wanted to, while I would look at food and gain. I too didn't care, and frankly if all you really have is 15 pounds, feel free not to care. But unlike you (for your sake I'm hoping it is unlike you), my 15 went to 30, 60, all the way up until I weighed in at 386. Because I didn't care. My weight didn't impact my life. While I was gaining we had 4 kids, I went to college and got my degree, started at the place I've been working at for 20 years now, got my kids through school, went on vacation, lived my life. And then one day I realized I had slowed way down and I was watching everyone else live their lives while my mobility was almost nonexistant. So at age 55 I finally decided that my excess weight had to go because it was keeping me from living my life the way I wanted to.
Point is, if it's just 15 pounds and you are fine with it, then you are fine and you have nothing to do. But if your 15 turns to 30, then wake up and fix the problem before it gets out of hand. And that husband of yours that couldn't gain if he wanted to? He will, trust me, mine did. He hits his 30's or 40's and he will start to reap all those calories he consumes now, all that junk food, all those sweets. They will catch up with him because middle age affects the guys too. For the first time since our 2nd anniversary, so first time in 38 years, I weigh less than my husband. Believe me, he was really surprised when he realized that. And for me it was very sweet!
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Why are you here, then? :huh:
She's trying to figure it out. Sometimes getting it out and rereading it makes it easier to do that. That's what this forum is for, support.
THIS!0 -
If you don't really care now, you might HAVE to really care later. Think in terms of prevention. You don't have to have a perfect body- you CAN be happy at the weight you are at and with how you look- but to keep it that way, you can't dive into crap food whenever you feel like it just because you're not sure "if you really care".
Start caring. Caring is good.0 -
Hey all!
So I'm about 15 lbs overweight. I've lost a few pounds here and there and then gained them right back. Here's the thing, I'm starting to wonder, what if, deep down, I don't really care that i'm not my "ideal" weight? I mean sure I'm always like "oh I'd love to be a size 2 and look perfect in bikinis, yada yada" and i'll eat well and exercise for a couple days, but then i'm right back to the unhealthy habits. Its like I know what I should be doing but when the junk food is in front of me I just dig in. Does anyone else struggle with this? what have you done to stay motivated? Or has anyone come to the realization that they're happy just the way they are?
I do this all of the time. Before our wedding, we had ultimate motivation. Now, we're good for two days and then bad for two or three and on and on. My motivation is getting fed up of torturing myself for several days with low calories only to ruin the progress later. I'm just getting sick of the cycle and am ready to lose weight.
I've said to myself the exact things you've said to yourself. Maybe I am comfortable with the way I look. I like the way I look in clothes, it's more the way I look naked or in a swimsuit that I want to improve. And I'm married, so it's not like I'm out shakin' it for the approval of other young ladies. So why? I guess because I keep coming back to the thought that I'd like to look better. I've been feeling this way for the better part of five years, so it must be something I want.0 -
For me, starting a healthy eating and exercise lifestyle has always been about getting over that initial two week hump where it feels like a chore. I had started and stopped several times before joining this website in January and really made a commitment to getting back to a weight where I felt comfortable before (which for me, is right at the upper edge of a normal BMI). After making it over that two week hump, it starts to feel more routine. I then gradually added more challenge to myself (more exercise, healthier eating choices) every two weeks or so. While I haven't been loosing my goal of 2lbs a week, I have been steadily dropping the weight and feeling better about myself. I think the toughest part is finding your motivation and making it feel like something you look forward to, not a chore.
So my suggestion for you. Give it a solid two weeks before putting in the towel. If you still aren't feeling it by then, maybe you are just happy where you're at!0 -
You have to want it because nobody else can do it for you. If you are happy that's all that matters.0
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I stay motivated by staying interested in my sport. I'm so not interested in the "perfect bikini body". Even when I had a good body as a surfer I didn't care. I was concerned with my surfing (not enough to get good at it admittedly, but I did have fun!) Most folks want the "perfect bikini body" for impressing guys, impressing friends, or having a modeling career. Aside from making good money as a model, what's the point? The human body was designed for movement. Exercise keeps you feeling good both mentally and physically. Extra weight adds up over time (women lose muscle progressively after 35) and will eventually cause medical problems. Find an activity you love. Diet and work around that activity. Learn something new, meet new and interesting people, and stay healthy at the same time!0
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I was a fitness freak until I got married,I let it go the first year of marriage,I was working from home on top,i gained about 155 pounds.ITs hard to maintain motivation if your better half doesn't have the same goals as you,but..
1. I keep looking at my wedding pic and the pics when I took up some personal training sessions,It sure does get me motivated to get back to that.
2.I want to get pregnant after 2 years,I want to be in the lower end of healthy weight range,so that even if i gained Ill be ok and the child will be healthy.
3.Last week I visited my office and this was luckily after I lost half the weight I gained,I could pick only one pencil skirt that fit me,that sparked the next piece of motivation to get back where I wanted.
Yes,we do relax,we do want to let it go,but its all about how badly you want it,you can find motivation if you want to!0
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