Expert on what shouldn't be in poor people's grocery carts.

DivineChoices

People judge other people no matter WHAT they are doing.

I am classified as morbidly obese and for about a year, I asked my husband to do all the grocery shopping because of some of the things people have the audacity to say.

And it's not JUST food related. I had a middle-aged woman accost me at the drug store because I was purchasing pregnancy tests AND condoms. She accused me of being stupid, unsafe, and having pre-marital sex (OH NO!), when in reality I AM married and my PCOS makes my periods irregular so I test regularly to make sure I'm NOT pregnant, cause my lack of period tells me NOTHING.

wonderwoman234

I know some people take advantage of aid programs, but I really do choose to believe that the majority of people on assistance would rather not be on it, and instead would like a well-paying job and affordable daycare for their kids. I had a lady in line behind me at the grocery store today who was obviously trying to stretch her dollars. She was buying the damaged vegetables that are 75% off, and the expiring chicken legs that are half price and the stale bread and the fake cheese slices. She also had 2 packages of Easter treats that were on clearance and a little pink unicorn toy thingie that was half off. This was a woman who was obviously trying to feed at least once child, maybe 2, the best way she could. Instead of looking at her basket and thinking "she really shouldn't be buying toys and candy and what's up with that fake cheese crap" I asked the cashier to ring her stuff in with mine, wished her a pleasant day and went on my merry way. Is it possible she took this sudden $30 windfall and bought a bottle of wine or a pedicure? I certainly hope so because I think she could use a break. Why do some people choose to think the worst of everyone in the system because of a few bad apples?

Edited to add: End of rant.

Agreed. It's so easy to judge others.....that is, until you have to walk in their shoes.

PetulantOne

I know some people take advantage of aid programs, but I really do choose to believe that the majority of people on assistance would rather not be on it, and instead would like a well-paying job and affordable daycare for their kids. I had a lady in line behind me at the grocery store today who was obviously trying to stretch her dollars. She was buying the damaged vegetables that are 75% off, and the expiring chicken legs that are half price and the stale bread and the fake cheese slices. She also had 2 packages of Easter treats that were on clearance and a little pink unicorn toy thingie that was half off. This was a woman who was obviously trying to feed at least once child, maybe 2, the best way she could. Instead of looking at her basket and thinking "she really shouldn't be buying toys and candy and what's up with that fake cheese crap" I asked the cashier to ring her stuff in with mine, wished her a pleasant day and went on my merry way. Is it possible she took this sudden $30 windfall and bought a bottle of wine or a pedicure? I certainly hope so because I think she could use a break. Why do some people choose to think the worst of everyone in the system because of a few bad apples?

Edited to add: End of rant.

Thank you for making me smile today.

Confuzzled4ever

I realize that but I used to see it all the time when I was a medical student in the 90's.
The mani-pedis are really more of a millennium phenom.

So, you think something you saw two decades ago gives you the right to pass judgment on people today? And . . . huh? Mani-pedis? I honestly think that you're just speaking to hear yourself talk right now.

My SIL hits up the dollar store for nail polish files and other stuff and gives herself a mani-pedi. Costs her maybe 5 bucks. Could 5 bucks be spent elsewhere? I'[m sure it could, but doing that makes her happy. It makes her feel good and helps her smile more. That is worth it.

I do agree that some people take advantage of the system, but I don't agree that most people do. The ones that do just "yell" the loudest. We notice them. No one noticed me, wearing clothes that didn't fit, shoes with holes in them, buying all the cheapest stuff I could afford. I didn't even have a phone with internet access until the one I have now. My car was a convertible, but an old one that I got from a "buy here pay here" place.

I still cut costs everywhere I can. I still buy the expiring meat that is half price and the day old breads and bakery items. I wait until after holidays to get stuff for the holiday. I shop at good will and the arc (for multiple reason). I know what it's liek to struggle. I don't look down on people.

In all honestly with the way the economy is these days, that could be any of us tomorrow.

Confuzzled4ever

Things like this give me hope though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1r2GF7ovL0

RllyGudTweetr

You can if your card has both food/cash.

And this is where people minding what others are doing with their money get it wrong.

The cash that comes from those cards is NOT from the recipient's Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program funds (SNAP, formerly known as food stamps). That would be their TANF or TDAP cash assistance, formerly known as welfare, or possibly unemployment, SSI, or SSDI benefits.

It's money--their money--to be spent as they see fit.

People with cash benefits can pull their cash assistance from grocery store debit, ATM machines, etc. in addition to swiping their cards like anyone else does to spend cash from an account.

What they do with that cash is for them to decide.

Well, there is the viewpoint that technically it is the taxpayer's money so those receiving it should use personal responsibility in the way they spend the taxpayer's money. When we were raising our kids and working bloody hard to do so, it was a bit discouraging to have the welfare kids put the working man's kids down because they didn't have the latest, greatest whatever and that type of thing still goes on. There's a lot of regular Joe Blows who work hard, long hours to have a nice lifestyle while being forced through taxes to support folks capable of working that choose welfare as a lifestyle instead. The fact is, there is this type of resentment and it's going away no time soon so the judging will continue.

Given the fact that most items at the market are directly or indirectly subsidized by taxpayers' money, that same judgment applies equally to everyone who buys food, doesn't it, regardless of the method of payment? I mean, you already paid to reduce the cost of the corn, or the corndog, in the basket of the person in front of you; do you think that gives you the right to be openly critical of the food choices made?

Incidentally, when folks buy food with their food stamps card, people complain when the food is meat, eggs, and veggies, as well as when the food is Twinkies and Dr. Pepper.

stealthq

I realize that but I used to see it all the time when I was a medical student in the 90's.
The mani-pedis are really more of a millennium phenom.

So, you think something you saw two decades ago gives you the right to pass judgment on people today? And . . . huh? Mani-pedis? I honestly think that you're just speaking to hear yourself talk right now.

To be fair, it's hardly a phenomenon that's gone away. The ways to get around food stamp limitations have changed, but the end results haven't.

Around here, some retailers will let people charge legitimate goods to their cards, keep the goods, and give the person some percent of what they charged in cash. Then that person can buy the alcohol/cigarettes/etc they want. It shows up in the news every now and again.

LoupGarouTFTs

I realize that but I used to see it all the time when I was a medical student in the 90's.
The mani-pedis are really more of a millennium phenom.

So, you think something you saw two decades ago gives you the right to pass judgment on people today? And . . . huh? Mani-pedis? I honestly think that you're just speaking to hear yourself talk right now.

To be fair, it's hardly a phenomenon that's gone away. The ways to get around food stamp limitations have changed, but the end results haven't.

Around here, some retailers will let people charge legitimate goods to their cards, keep the goods, and give the person some percent of what they charged in cash. Then that person can buy the alcohol/cigarettes/etc they want. It shows up in the news every now and again.

That's completely true. I was challenging the whole "use the change to buy cigarettes" thing, not the abuse of the system.

Edited because I have far too much blood in my caffeine stream.

angf0679

Things like this give me hope though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1r2GF7ovL0

That made my cry. So thankful for people like that! I recently had a friend who did something very similar for someone. I hope that if I ever come across a situation like that, that I can be in a position to do the same thing.

tmaryam

I know some people take advantage of aid programs, but I really do choose to believe that the majority of people on assistance would rather not be on it, and instead would like a well-paying job and affordable daycare for their kids. I had a lady in line behind me at the grocery store today who was obviously trying to stretch her dollars. She was buying the damaged vegetables that are 75% off, and the expiring chicken legs that are half price and the stale bread and the fake cheese slices. She also had 2 packages of Easter treats that were on clearance and a little pink unicorn toy thingie that was half off. This was a woman who was obviously trying to feed at least once child, maybe 2, the best way she could. Instead of looking at her basket and thinking "she really shouldn't be buying toys and candy and what's up with that fake cheese crap" I asked the cashier to ring her stuff in with mine, wished her a pleasant day and went on my merry way. Is it possible she took this sudden $30 windfall and bought a bottle of wine or a pedicure? I certainly hope so because I think she could use a break. Why do some people choose to think the worst of everyone in the system because of a few bad apples?

Edited to add: End of rant.

I know the mention of religion is frowned upon here, but please let me just quickly say: may God reward you and bless you generously. Stay awesome. :flowerforyou:

Slacker16

To be fair, it's hardly a phenomenon that's gone away. The ways to get around food stamp limitations have changed, but the end results haven't.

Around here, some retailers will let people charge legitimate goods to their cards, keep the goods, and give the person some percent of what they charged in cash. Then that person can buy the alcohol/cigarettes/etc they want. It shows up in the news every now and again.

Wouldn't it be easier to just go shopping with a friend, buy some of their groceries on your card and have them reimburse you in cash?

There's no such thing as a system that cannot be exploited. IMO, if you're going to offer social assistance you should do it properly and just give people money to spend as they want.

Confuzzled4ever

What would be your solution then????

You can rant all you want and say oh it's broken and people take advantage.. but what is the alternative?? what do you propose?

I maintain that it's the minority that abuse the system. Furthermore we can't be upset that someone is purchasing junk with food stamps when junk costs a dollar when healthy food is so expensive. We don't know how much they receive. A friend of mine get 1,000 a month to feed a family of 6 who have different severe food allergies. So she can't just buy anything and she often has to prepare more then one meal per night. We don't know what people are dealing with. And she works.

Sure, there are example of low cost foods, but chicken breast is not *always* on sale, neither is anything else. People on assistance rarely have extra freezer space or the ability to store foods for long periods of time. a 5lb sack of rice would last me a long time, but would not last a family of 6 very long.

There's no such thing as a system that cannot be exploited. IMO, if you're going to offer social assistance you should do it properly and just give people money to spend as they want.

Then we will just be complaining that people are taking their welfare money and using it on booze and hair cuts and phones and then going to food pantries or starving their kids...


The better answer is to get BIG government out of the free market and let the job creators create and fill jobs. Will it solve everything?? no. but it certainly would help our economy with job creation. A lot of these people just want to work, but there is no work available. When you are unemployed it is hard to get job. it is easier to get one while you are employed.

FireOpalCO

The better answer is to get BIG government out of the free market and let the job creators create and fill jobs. Will it solve everything?? no. but it certainly would help our economy with job creation. A lot of these people just want to work, but there is no work available. When you are unemployed it is hard to get job. it is easier to get one while you are employed.

Tangent: I hate the term "job creators". There are plenty of wealthy people who aren't creating one damn job except maybe "toy dog groomer". A lot of the wealthy have jobs, not businesses, so can't make those sorts of decisions. Those wealthy are in the position of growing businesses and hiring people are still focused on their own comfort, not about their employees or the local job market. I see it first hand, where people making a very fat six figures hands their employees making 20-40k a "salary freeze" plus an increase to their health insurance premiums, blame it on the economy and not their own decision making, then take their family on a month long vacation in Europe and wonder why their employees' morale just sank.

Who is one of the biggest job creators? Government. You want job creation to happen? When governments (local or national) have spent the money for a great infrastructure, good schools, etc. companies show up. What draws companies to one region over another is not the presence of rich people or even lack of government regulation. It's a good pool of potential employees and a place that would draw good employees (so good schools, safe neighborhoods, high percentage of college grads if in certain sectors), good infrastructure (roads, access to shipping if needed, electricity, high speed data), and low costs (health insurance, rent, space to build, salaries, shipping to customers). A lot of those are provided by government, they don't spring out of nothing.

Sunbrooke

You can if your card has both food/cash.

And this is where people minding what others are doing with their money get it wrong.

The cash that comes from those cards is NOT from the recipient's Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program funds (SNAP, formerly known as food stamps). That would be their TANF or TDAP cash assistance, formerly known as welfare, or possibly unemployment, SSI, or SSDI benefits.

It's money--their money--to be spent as they see fit.

People with cash benefits can pull their cash assistance from grocery store debit, ATM machines, etc. in addition to swiping their cards like anyone else does to spend cash from an account.

What they do with that cash is for them to decide.

Well, there is the viewpoint that technically it is the taxpayer's money so those receiving it should use personal responsibility in the way they spend the taxpayer's money. When we were raising our kids and working bloody hard to do so, it was a bit discouraging to have the welfare kids put the working man's kids down because they didn't have the latest, greatest whatever and that type of thing still goes on. There's a lot of regular Joe Blows who work hard, long hours to have a nice lifestyle while being forced through taxes to support folks capable of working that choose welfare as a lifestyle instead. The fact is, there is this type of resentment and it's going away no time soon so the judging will continue.

Given the fact that most items at the market are directly or indirectly subsidized by taxpayers' money, that same judgment applies equally to everyone who buys food, doesn't it, regardless of the method of payment? I mean, you already paid to reduce the cost of the corn, or the corndog, in the basket of the person in front of you; do you think that gives you the right to be openly critical of the food choices made?

Incidentally, when folks buy food with their food stamps card, people complain when the food is meat, eggs, and veggies, as well as when the food is Twinkies and Dr. Pepper.

That kinda seems like a stretch...

Lauren8239

I know some people take advantage of aid programs, but I really do choose to believe that the majority of people on assistance would rather not be on it, and instead would like a well-paying job and affordable daycare for their kids. I had a lady in line behind me at the grocery store today who was obviously trying to stretch her dollars. She was buying the damaged vegetables that are 75% off, and the expiring chicken legs that are half price and the stale bread and the fake cheese slices. She also had 2 packages of Easter treats that were on clearance and a little pink unicorn toy thingie that was half off. This was a woman who was obviously trying to feed at least once child, maybe 2, the best way she could. Instead of looking at her basket and thinking "she really shouldn't be buying toys and candy and what's up with that fake cheese crap" I asked the cashier to ring her stuff in with mine, wished her a pleasant day and went on my merry way. Is it possible she took this sudden $30 windfall and bought a bottle of wine or a pedicure? I certainly hope so because I think she could use a break. Why do some people choose to think the worst of everyone in the system because of a few bad apples?

Edited to add: End of rant.

YOU are awesome. I wish there were more people in the world like you. Thank you for being a good person.

Confuzzled4ever

The better answer is to get BIG government out of the free market and let the job creators create and fill jobs. Will it solve everything?? no. but it certainly would help our economy with job creation. A lot of these people just want to work, but there is no work available. When you are unemployed it is hard to get job. it is easier to get one while you are employed.

Tangent: I hate the term "job creators". There are plenty of wealthy people who aren't creating one damn job except maybe "toy dog groomer". A lot of the wealthy have jobs, not businesses, so can't make those sorts of decisions. Those wealthy are in the position of growing businesses and hiring people are still focused on their own comfort, not about their employees or the local job market. I see it first hand, where people making a very fat six figures hands their employees making 20-40k a "salary freeze" plus an increase to their health insurance premiums, blame it on the economy and not their own decision making, then take their family on a month long vacation in Europe and wonder why their employees' morale just sank.

Who is one of the biggest job creators? Government. You want job creation to happen? When governments (local or national) have spent the money for a great infrastructure, good schools, etc. companies show up. What draws companies to one region over another is not the presence of rich people or even lack of government regulation. It's a good pool of potential employees and a place that would draw good employees (so good schools, safe neighborhoods, high percentage of college grads if in certain sectors), good infrastructure (roads, access to shipping if needed, electricity, high speed data), and low costs (health insurance, rent, space to build, salaries, shipping to customers). A lot of those are provided by government, they don't spring out of nothing.

Except government is currently cutting positions and not hiring......

I didn't say "the wealthy" I said job creators for a reason. The two terms are not synonymous. Job creators are those who struggle and start a business and hire a few people, then more as their business grows.

If government would step back, there might be more jobs available, instead of me doing the work of three people, job creators might be able to create more jobs.

jlynnm70

I've been off and on SNAP for several years - off when hubby has a job, on when he doesn't. Sure I shop wearing nice clothes - am I supposed to change out of 'office' attire before I shop - or should I go on the way home. My car is decent (bought when we were both working - but I still have payments) - I have a Smart Phone -because I need it for work. I am sure people judge me when I shop. When we got a couple bottles of $5 wine for our anniversary - he took it and paid in a separate line, because we didn't want the stares. My mom has given me money to pick stuff up at the store for her and I pay cash with that - and my SNAP card for mine. I still go to food banks once or twice a month because he just got laid off again, but we can't get SNAP until his unemployment runs out. Things are tough out there. Bless the one that bought the $30 for that lady in the store. I've done that when I've been able, and been the recipient of a similar situation.

In this economy - you may only be a paycheck or two away from needing them yourself. It's sad that people feel the need to judge what is in the cart.

Confuzzled4ever

In this economy - you may only be a paycheck or two away from needing them yourself. It's sad that people feel the need to judge what is in the cart.

This is what people need to realize.

I've also went from gainfully employed to unemployed unexpectedly. It's no fun and if not for my wonderful friends who helped me until I got unemployment i would have ended up losing my apartment and having no food in my home. I was never on SNAP, but i have been to a food pantry or two. I'm sure I got stares since my car is decent and my clothes are nice. But that's what I had from when I was working. You don't suddenly get cheaper stuff because you lost a job.

There are so many job seekers that companies can fire someone and hire a new person the next day who is capable of doing the job and willing to do more work for less money. We had an assistant job open up here and 45 people applied. I was one of 15 interviewed for my position after my predecessor was forced to leave due to medical reasons. You never know when it's going to be you. Someone is leaving our company soon and if my boss decides to replace him I guarantee there will be a ton of applicants.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

I am ROLLING at that article. Stinking hilarious, and is a pretty icy reminder to quit being so dang judgmental of people and just mind your own.

tracydr

HA. I LOVE the onion, but it's sad that some people actually think like this.

I have been on food stamps in the past. And I have an iPhone, so I'm *sure* people were judging me.

I was working, had to have an iPhone for said job, and then was laid off from that job. I wasn't getting any bites for employment, so I applied for food stamps until I got an income. I was only on them for 3 months, but they helped me *so* much.

It's there for people who need it in times of need (as I was) and people shouldn't be ashamed.

BTW - Here in CA you get SNAP benefits which is FOR FOOD ONLY. You can't even get away with buying pre-made food (like mashed potatoes or chicken salad) at the deli section of the grocery store. ONLY groceries.

Sounds like it really helped you out of. Tight spot.
For another example, though, my husband and his brother used to have to go hungry because mom and dad couldn't afford their chain smoking habit and food for the kids.
They were on food stamps back when you got change for the "money ticket".
When my tax dollars are supporting an addiction, while children go hungry and then my tax dollars pay for the huge medical bills because kids live in a smokehouse/crack house, whatever and because parents have smoking, drugs or alcohol induced illness, then I say it's society's ( my) problem.
I have never been on food stamps or welfare. My husband and I are currently living on my VA disability. I was military and have a 100% disability which I got from fighting for my country. Husband is a full time student, although he does start a job/graduate this summer.
Diabetes, obesity, smoking and other additions are a huge problem in our country's poorer population. This is putting and unbearable drain on all resources, especially medical.