It's my birthday and I feel like giving up

Eleonora91

I can completely and totally relate to what you said. I hate birthdays and I hate the way they make me feel about myself. It's like all of my concerns regarding myself get concentrated and legitimated on that day. I feel like overthinking everything in my life and I can't avoid it because, well, it's my birthday... but I can tell you that, after getting at the very bottom of my young existence the exact day before my birthday, 2 years ago, it all got better. Last year I had my best birthday ever. I had pizza, and I was still 10 kgs heavier than I am now... even though I knew I wasn't perfect, I had finally found a way to cope with it. It's not just about food. This sentence you wrote is very powerful and totally explains what I want to say:

Emotional eating and depressive eating got me where I am. And if I don't learn to handle those I will never progress and then my emo-ish feeling like a failure will actually become a failure...

Yeah, you need to fix your mind to also fix your eating patterns, but at the same time, it also works on reverse order. If you start fixing your eating habits, you will eventually start to feel better and will feel more in control of your feelings and your mind. That's how it worked for me at least.
Losing weight is not easy, but looking at your tracker it seems like you've already been quite successful at it. Your method might not be perfect, but who is anyway? Once you recognize what's not working out fine in your weightloss plan, you can also try to find out what to do to fix it. I'm sure you can still lose weight even if you have to eat out, it's surely going to be harder, or maybe slower, but you can still do wonders if you only give yourself a chance. Set a few reasonable goals to reach in your daily or weekly routine. Try to incorporate new healthy habits. And most important, don't put yourself down and don't punish yourself. You might not be at your goal weight yet, but that's not a good reason to punish yourself. Always remember to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are. You can work on your body and improve it as much as you want to, even if it's hard and it takes time. But your weight has nothing to do with who you are and how much you're worth as a human being.

izu87

I can completely and totally relate to what you said. I hate birthdays and I hate the way they make me feel about myself. It's like all of my concerns regarding myself get concentrated and legitimated on that day. I feel like overthinking everything in my life and I can't avoid it because, well, it's my birthday... but I can tell you that, after getting at the very bottom of my young existence the exact day before my birthday, 2 years ago, it all got better. Last year I had my best birthday ever. I had pizza, and I was still 10 kgs heavier than I am now... even though I knew I wasn't perfect, I had finally found a way to cope with it. It's not just about food. This sentence you wrote is very powerful and totally explains what I want to say:

Emotional eating and depressive eating got me where I am. And if I don't learn to handle those I will never progress and then my emo-ish feeling like a failure will actually become a failure...

Yeah, you need to fix your mind to also fix your eating patterns, but at the same time, it also works on reverse order. If you start fixing your eating habits, you will eventually start to feel better and will feel more in control of your feelings and your mind. That's how it worked for me at least.
Losing weight is not easy, but looking at your tracker it seems like you've already been quite successful at it. Your method might not be perfect, but who is anyway? Once you recognize what's not working out fine in your weightloss plan, you can also try to find out what to do to fix it. I'm sure you can still lose weight even if you have to eat out, it's surely going to be harder, or maybe slower, but you can still do wonders if you only give yourself a chance. Set a few reasonable goals to reach in your daily or weekly routine. Try to incorporate new healthy habits. And most important, don't put yourself down and don't punish yourself. You might not be at your goal weight yet, but that's not a good reason to punish yourself. Always remember to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are. You can work on your body and improve it as much as you want to, even if it's hard and it takes time. But your weight has nothing to do with who you are and how much you're worth as a human being.

;__; Thank you...

izu87

Have you ever thought about talking to a professional about this? It might help you with some of this...and I say this because I started seeing someone once a week about a year ago and the ability to talk through negative feelings when they come up has been great. I can honestly say that now I'm pretty positive most of the time and when I do feel myself going to negative town, I don't fret because I know I have an appointment coming up...

I have... I might actually look into finding someone, but in my backwards country there are really not a lot of therapists... *sighs*

Eleonora91

;__; Thank you...

:flowerforyou: no need to cry, you're very welcome.
Also, happy birthday! I'd share my italian bruschette I just had for dinner but I've got none left. :laugh:

LC458

Mate, I ALWAYS pig out on my birthday.

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I don't use just the day, I use the whole week of my birthday lol.

On a serious note though while I understand it's your bday and your really upset everyone is telling you the right thing. Learn to cook. Try to say no one time to emotional eating and maybe the next won't be so hard. I think it's great you workout and I hope that continues but focus on little things, cook breakfast one day or cook dinner on the weekends, make small changes and big results will occur. Happy birthday and please have some cake for all of us :drinker:

Briargrey

On the "can't log it accurately bit" you reiterated -- again, estimate. Do it at home and get used to it. Know what a serving of chicken looks like and how many ounces or grams that is for you. Add a bit extra for eating out, I log a tablespoon of butter or oil a lot of times, just because I don't know what sauces and such they used, and I figure that's a good way to account for hidden fats.

And let it the eff go that it may not be 100%. It won't be. But be honest and in the general ballpark will help way more than not logging at all.

As far as emotional eating when you get home -- that's going to be on you to change. However, don't look at any food as bad, okay? Try to get more fruits and vegetables and whole foods, for sure -- but hon, I have chocolate almost every night -- I just don't eat a giant bar. I love a lot of organic dark chocolates with flavours (like orange or raspberry or almond sea salt caramel). I stock up on them and break off a serving (or less if I don't have the calories), and I keep myself to it.

By being honest on my tool (aka my diary), I am able to tell myself 'no, I won't go binge just because I have it in the house.' BUT -- I am a year and change into my journey and I've got this down now. At first, I went even slower, didn't have things that may tempt me around, and got used to it gradually. But, I did still have treats. I flew over 140K miles last year and most places I visit have 1-3 hours of driving after I land. I was on the road a lot. I ate out a lot. I also made sacrifices like getting up earlier than I wanted so I could work out before driving 2 hours to the hospital I was auditing. And I made sure I had room for the free Toblerone Hampton Inn gives me at check in I also forgave myself if I was too tired to get up one day and needed the rest. I listened to my body but I also forced it to listen to me and I stopped letting my mind control me in negative ways and turned its power to good.

So again -- you can do this. You just need to do it. For every excuse, I bet I or someone here can counter it. I was on the road all the time and lost weight. I work a high stress job. I have 4 kids, 2 in college and 2 that are seniors and heading to college. I had to deal with my ex-husband and going to court while he was being a complete jerk. My company was sold and I found myself in danger of not having a job. I hurt my foot slightly and had to stop working out for a few weeks. Blah blah blah --- none of that means 'gorge yourself, briar' -- all of that means life is life and I can control my reaction to it.

Just. Like. You. Can. Do it