Frequent Family Disagreement

Options
2»

Replies

  • FancyPantsFran
    FancyPantsFran Posts: 3,687 Member
    Options
    Congrats on your 20lb weight loss so far. You are doing great. Everyone seems to be an expert on weight loss. I have several in my family alone. You are going for a lifestyle and sustainable change. Keep doing what you are doing Its slow going at times but will work in the long run. Just smile and change the subject that's what I do.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    Options
    Ignore it?
  • themedalist
    themedalist Posts: 3,214 Member
    Options
    "well... I'm gonna go ahead and trust the people that have actually successfully lost and maintained weight..." (quote from my sister today).

    Hmmm...well, your sister just described me! And you know what? I used the SAME approach you are using: moderation, some treats, watch portion sizes, and be patient and stick with it. And about 50-60% of my daily intake came from carbs (mostly fruit).

    Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the oboxious noise.

    Best wishes! I'm looking forward to seeing your success story post in the future!
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    Options
    Every few weeks or so, I seem to have a debate with my mum and sister about how to successfully lose weight.

    I am of the belief that successful and sustainable weight loss is about eating a balanced diet, being careful with portion size and exercising more. I'm working on the exercise bit as well as trying to have a more balanced diet - and I've managed to lose 20lb since January so it's getting there (albeit slow and steady).

    However, if they ever see me eating something that is traditionally considered "unhealthy" like a bag of crisps or (in this case) using pre-packaged sauce on my stir-fry, they always have to say "I thought you were trying to lose weight" etc.

    I've tried to explain that I allow myself little treats to avoid a binge and that sugar isn't the enemy - but they're of the belief that when they want to lose weight they have to cut out as many carbs and as much sugar as they can. Last month it was a juice cleanse, this month its a vegan diet.

    In my head, I want to believe I'll be successful long-term - but they are actually slimmer than me so the debate always ends with "well... I'm gonna go ahead and trust the people that have actually successfully lost and maintained weight..." (quote from my sister today).

    I think the all or nothing mentality leads to the crash and burn syndrome. Your idea of moderation to go the long haul seems to be a good one that will lead to long term success.

    Congrats on your loss.
  • Hiker_Rob
    Hiker_Rob Posts: 5,547 Member
    Options
    And, as I just browsed through other poster's replies, just take a look through the people replying to your post, look at the weights some of them have lost, many tickers are 20, 30, 50, 75lbs down, theirs is good advice to listen to. They say the best way to be successful (and I think you are) is to look to those who have attained the level of success you want or have reached the goals you'd like, and follow their methods - this applies to many areas of life.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    "I thought you were trying to lose weight."

    "I am." (Smile sweetly and sincerely.)

    "You won't lose weight eating those foods."

    "Ok, thank you." (Nicely and not sarcastically.)

    It's hard to argue with someone who won't be baited. It's just rude for your family to make comments comparing their weight to your weight. Congrats on the 20 lb loss.

    Yeah. My family is into a lot of fad nutrition. And whatever it is, it changes. Once in a while I respond skeptically. They know I am skeptical and sometimes I can see that hesitation and disclaimers when they tell me stuff. But, mostly I just try not to let food be a topic, and then things are pleasant. And it's not a big deal because the food they eat tastes really good. Whatever they have going on, they are good with making yummy food. So, I focus on the positive. Some family members are more fanatical about stuff, others are like that but a little more moderate. Then I have other family that isn't like that. They are into eating well and healthy in the moderate, meet all your food groups way. And the more fanatical family members judge them. Silly to focus on that. The thing I find perplexing is the focus on healthful food, while they are continuing to drink with life threatening alcohol related disease. I just see that everyone in my family cares about food and health in their different ways (and they struggle with addiction). My family members are active in physical arts and weight lifting.
  • cloudman71
    cloudman71 Posts: 4
    Options
    I think there are so many "myths" circulating about how to lose weight - if I have learned anything by joining this site, and being diagnosed with diabetes earlier in the year, it is not about avoiding any particular foods per se, rather if anything it is more about healthy eating (and making small changes to current lifestyle). For a while sadly I used to believe some of the myths (eg "people with diabetes are not allowed sugar" - how so very untrue - this couldnt be further from the truth!)

    I have been pointed in the direction of the "eatwell plate" as I'm sure plenty of others will have also - http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/eatwell-plate.aspx - at the moment both MFP and the eatwell plate are helping strike more of a healthy balance, and lose weight in the process - yay!
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    Options
    A smart person knows what to say, a wise person knows whether or not to say it.
  • dwalt15110
    dwalt15110 Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    Original Poster,

    Please don't let anyone deter you from what you are doing. Obviously what you are doing works for you. You are losing and you are keeping it off. That's what counts. There are thousands of people who have lost weight by eliminating certain foods from their diets and when they get to their goal weight, they assume they are done and it is perfectly alright to add those foods back. That's when they start putting the pounds back on.

    I know you have read and heard this so many times, that this is a lifestyle change. If you feel deprived and cannot think about doing this for the rest of your life, then what you are doing will not be sustainable.

    I do agree with those who have told you not to get into the debate. I do believe your results speak for themselves.

    Best of luck to you. Continue with what works for you.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    I've been here almost 2 years and I lost 5 pounds. If I lost any more I would be underweight. Weight maintenance and fitness improvements are valuable goals and achievements as well.
  • ravenmiss
    ravenmiss Posts: 384 Member
    Options
    Arguing on a thread about arguing...classic!

    Anyway, I'd just not talk to them about it. I've had situations like this with my friend and she just will not listen to any form of reason once she's made her mind up on something so I just let it pass now and weightloss doesn't factor into our conversations, if they bring it up just change the subject or eat something so you can't talk, preferably cake. :)
  • greengoddess0123
    greengoddess0123 Posts: 417 Member
    Options
    From the MFP forum guidelines: (this is not for the OP, but the 2 folks fighting)

    2. No Hi-Jacking, Trolling, or Flame-baiting

    Please stay on-topic in an existing thread, and post new threads in the appropriate forum. Taking a thread off-topic is considered hi-jacking. Please either contribute politely and constructively to a topic, or move on without posting. This includes posts that encourage the drama in a topic to escalate, or posts intended to incite an uproar from the community.
  • SlimSharonSlim
    SlimSharonSlim Posts: 85 Member
    Options
    Hi there,

    Your doing it RIGHT !!!!!!

    Allow yourself a treat now and again otherwise what's the point ( my treat is cake and wine on a sunday ).

    Be strict with yourself and you will lose and maintain the weight!

    Your mum and sisters fad diets are not good and harmful to their bodies even though they maybe slimmer than you.

    :drinker:
  • KimiSteinbach
    KimiSteinbach Posts: 224 Member
    Options
    I think losing weight is just like politics! Don't talk about it with family!!!
  • battybecks
    battybecks Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    I get that a lot. I say (in a duh-voice) "I'm going to burn it off".

    That's enough for most people - if you talk about exercise instead of about food choices then no one feels inclined to argue. Everyone has a different opinion about what foods you should or shouldn't eat, but everyone is agreed that exercise is A GOOD THING (even if they don't actually do any).

Categories