Husband says he liked me weighing more?

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  • amyj514
    amyj514 Posts: 53 Member
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    My sister and I are the same height and if we look like we're in the same shape, she is easily 10 lbs lighter than me. Some people are just lighter than others. I would suggest based on your height, try taking it up to 120 and see how that feels. You might even wear 125 well. I'm 5'7" 133 lbs and that is comfortable to me.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    95 pounds at 5'6", even at 21 years old, is WAY TOO THIN. It sounds like your husband has a genuine concern for your health.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    You are you... do what makes you happy.

    I have had relationships with 'skinny' women and larger women. There are differences between the two but the only difference that really mattered was how they felt, as their feelings were reflected in their everyday personality.

    If you are happy, your husband should respect that. :)

    Have a nice day.

    Please DO NOT listen to the above advice. And please, no one else tell her she is fine at a BMI of 15. Heart failure could be right around the corner.
  • Anonycatgirl
    Anonycatgirl Posts: 502 Member
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    Your husband may be talking about his aesthetic/sexual preference, but he may just be concerned about you. At 5'6" and 95 pounds, you're underweight in terms of your BMI. I know BMI isn't accurate for everyone and I didn't get a great sense of your build from your profile picture. You might be a fine-boned person who's healthy at a lower weight than the average. But working on the info available, it sounds like you let your weight go below a healthy level and you might want to consider what your husband has to say about gaining a little back. (Not the number he suggested, which is probably too curvy for you, but enough to get you to "slender but not starving.")
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I understand not wanting to get back up to 160, but 95 pounds for your height is really underweight.

    To me, Giuliana Ranci, as beautiful as she is, I think she's underweight too. I know she's got a regimen to keep herself fit and healthy, but our definitions are probably different, and that's okay. Personally, just think she would be SO MUCH prettier with about 5-10 more pounds or so on her. But that's me.

    It might be a good idea to check with a doctor, get a physical. If everything's working right, then don't worry about it. BUT sometimes when people get too thin, different organs won't work quite as well as they used to, and it's worth getting checked out.
  • ruffnstuff
    ruffnstuff Posts: 400 Member
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    OP - listen and listen good. I took a gander at your posting history. On April 17 you actually posted a thread taht said "Hi, I'm anorexic." Ok, so you already know what all these posters are telling you. BUT, are you actually getting help? This is not the proper place to get the serious help you need. Posting a topic about why your husband wants you to gain weight is not what you need to focus on right now (hint: he is scared for your health and life, THAT's why he wants you to gain weight). If you ahve not already, you must seek serious medical attention for an eating disorder. NOW, please! Good luck to you.
  • 1pandabear
    1pandabear Posts: 336 Member
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    My husband and I had a discussion last night, he says he wants for me to weigh 140-160 lbs ( currently I am 95 lbs) . Is this to get me to gain more weight or do men actually not care for "skinny"?

    Here is a website to calculate a healthy body mass index and also includes caveats for appropriate applications of the information
    http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm

    (It is for US National Institutes of Health, the major grantor of scientific research monies in the world.)
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Sounds like you are open to gaining the weight back which is wonderful, and half of the battle. Sounds like your hubby loves you and wants to see you healthy. Give him a little softness to squeeze, I'm sure he will love that and encourage it. You can gain weight in a healthy way and with the support of your hubs sounds like he will support you in maintaining a healthy weight too. Also think if you are that thin, your body is not getting nutrients it needs to make your bones strong, hair healthy and shiny, skin radiant etc etc, you might not notice now if you haven't weighed this little for long, but you will notice it will start to wear your body down. In the future you will feel even better, your hubs will feel better too. So good luck to ya!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    OP - listen and listen good. I took a gander at your posting history. On April 17 you actually posted a thread taht said "Hi, I'm anorexic." Ok, so you already know what all these posters are telling you. BUT, are you actually getting help? This is not the proper place to get the serious help you need. Posting a topic about why your husband wants you to gain weight is not what you need to focus on right now (hint: he is scared for your health and life, THAT's why he wants you to gain weight). If you ahve not already, you must seek serious medical attention for an eating disorder. NOW, please! Good luck to you.

    QFT
  • pearson114
    pearson114 Posts: 66 Member
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    I apologise, I hadn't fully read and understood the thread before posting earlier.

    I completely agree that your husband is looking out for you and is concerned for your health. Please ignore my previous post, I stick with the idea that it is important to be happy, however you must also be healthy.
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
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    At just over 5'6, when I weigh 130, "the girls" are a B cup. At 95 pounds, they'd be nonexistent. In my experience, many husbands prefer boobs.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    In one of your past posts you got concerned going up to 100 lb. are you in treatment for your anorexia or are you still anorexic? Every time you post you seem concerned about gaining above 100. Yes 95 is severely underweight and most men eoukd probably prefer a look with a little more weight. 120 would be a good starting goal but I can to from your posts that you don't want to gain so I suggest seeing a professional to get help
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    If I was your husband I would have sent you to the hospital a long time ago.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    Depends. If you are 5'1" and 95 lbs I can live with that as you are fit. but if you are 5'4" or above and weigh 95, that is a different story and I cannot see myself dating or marrying someone who don't take care of themselves because boney is not "my" thought of beauty/fitness. My wife weighs 118 and is 5'5". She is fit and although slender she is not skinny. If she weighed 105 we would have to have a conversation because now she is falling into the unsafe zone.

    It is not about the weight as it is about the healthy aspects. There is proof that the mind operates best when the body is fit. I have soon too many people who are underweight and quite looney.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    At just over 5'6, when I weigh 130, "the girls" are a B cup. At 95 pounds, they'd be nonexistent. In my experience, many husbands prefer boobs.
    Not all women lose their boobs as they lose weight.

    But that really isn't the point. The OP has an illness she needs to get help for.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    OP, you and your husband can go talk to your doc together if you like. It's not the best idea for your husband to set your ok weight, but on the other hand, he's right that you need to gain weight. Maybe if you and your doctor make the decision together as a team (with or without hubby's input), you'll feel more ok with the numbers. But I hope you are in treatment. Best wishes.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    95lb at 5ft6 is very very slim... i am 5ft5 and 136lbs, i would look dead if i lost 40lbs.

    Holy crap! No kidding!!! 5'6" and 95 lbs. !!!!!! :noway: :noway: :noway:


    OP, your husband is probably concerned for your health. Even for a small-framed person, that is dangerously skinny. Listen to your husband.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I'm going to leave this here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

    uparrow.gif
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
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    My husband and I had a discussion last night, he says he wants for me to weigh 140-160 lbs ( currently I am 95 lbs) . Is this to get me to gain more weight or do men actually not care for "skinny"?

    hiyah deep down you know the answer to this. I suspect your husband has told you why he wants you to gain weight. Seek the help you need and let your husband help you. take care of yourself. xxx

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