Husband says he liked me weighing more?

2

Replies

  • pearson114
    pearson114 Posts: 66 Member
    I apologise, I hadn't fully read and understood the thread before posting earlier.

    I completely agree that your husband is looking out for you and is concerned for your health. Please ignore my previous post, I stick with the idea that it is important to be happy, however you must also be healthy.
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    At just over 5'6, when I weigh 130, "the girls" are a B cup. At 95 pounds, they'd be nonexistent. In my experience, many husbands prefer boobs.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    In one of your past posts you got concerned going up to 100 lb. are you in treatment for your anorexia or are you still anorexic? Every time you post you seem concerned about gaining above 100. Yes 95 is severely underweight and most men eoukd probably prefer a look with a little more weight. 120 would be a good starting goal but I can to from your posts that you don't want to gain so I suggest seeing a professional to get help
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    If I was your husband I would have sent you to the hospital a long time ago.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    Depends. If you are 5'1" and 95 lbs I can live with that as you are fit. but if you are 5'4" or above and weigh 95, that is a different story and I cannot see myself dating or marrying someone who don't take care of themselves because boney is not "my" thought of beauty/fitness. My wife weighs 118 and is 5'5". She is fit and although slender she is not skinny. If she weighed 105 we would have to have a conversation because now she is falling into the unsafe zone.

    It is not about the weight as it is about the healthy aspects. There is proof that the mind operates best when the body is fit. I have soon too many people who are underweight and quite looney.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    At just over 5'6, when I weigh 130, "the girls" are a B cup. At 95 pounds, they'd be nonexistent. In my experience, many husbands prefer boobs.
    Not all women lose their boobs as they lose weight.

    But that really isn't the point. The OP has an illness she needs to get help for.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    OP, you and your husband can go talk to your doc together if you like. It's not the best idea for your husband to set your ok weight, but on the other hand, he's right that you need to gain weight. Maybe if you and your doctor make the decision together as a team (with or without hubby's input), you'll feel more ok with the numbers. But I hope you are in treatment. Best wishes.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    95lb at 5ft6 is very very slim... i am 5ft5 and 136lbs, i would look dead if i lost 40lbs.

    Holy crap! No kidding!!! 5'6" and 95 lbs. !!!!!! :noway: :noway: :noway:


    OP, your husband is probably concerned for your health. Even for a small-framed person, that is dangerously skinny. Listen to your husband.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I'm going to leave this here: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

    uparrow.gif
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    My husband and I had a discussion last night, he says he wants for me to weigh 140-160 lbs ( currently I am 95 lbs) . Is this to get me to gain more weight or do men actually not care for "skinny"?

    hiyah deep down you know the answer to this. I suspect your husband has told you why he wants you to gain weight. Seek the help you need and let your husband help you. take care of yourself. xxx
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    You're 5'6" and you weigh 95LBS. Sweetie, OF COURSE he wants you to weigh more. He's afraid you're killing yourself. He knew you at your old weight, and he sees how much you've lost, and how obsessed you've become with controlling the number on the scale.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    He probably wants you to weigh more because you're so thin that you probably don't have a very womanly body. My guess is that, at 95 lbs, you've completely lost any curve you ever had. I'm not going to say men don't like "skinny" because some do, but it seems your husband doesn't. I'd never tell someone at a healthy weight to gain (or lose) weight for their partner if they're happy with how they look, but you're very underweight. It's not healthy. The lowest weight you should be at your height is 115 lbs. You don't need to get up to 165 lbs, but you do need to gain some weight. Not for your husband, but for your own health.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    I'm 5 6 and there is NO way I'd want to be 95 lbs 120 is the lowest you should weigh. Listen to your husband and 150 is the highest at that height.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
    Sounds like your husband wants you to be at a healthier weight.
  • JessieSky
    JessieSky Posts: 79
    95 pounds at 5'6", even at 21 years old, is WAY TOO THIN. It sounds like your husband has a genuine concern for your health.


    Agreed, it sounds more like a matter of caring about your health than just a preference of sizes. 95 is not a healthy weight for you.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    95 pounds at 5'6", even at 21 years old, is WAY TOO THIN. It sounds like your husband has a genuine concern for your health.


    Agreed, it sounds more like a matter of caring about your health than just a preference of sizes. 95 is not a healthy weight for you.

    I'm wondering if he's tried the, "I'm worried about your health," approach and it didn't work, so now he's trying the, "I'm not attracted to you," approach to get her to see reason.
  • links_slayer
    links_slayer Posts: 1,151 Member
    what an a$$hat...wanting you to be healthy and stuff...the nerve.

    get some help.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    just here to echo...

    get some help OP.

    i hope you get through this ok.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    Hi,
    Have you always been thin? 95 sure is thin, and 140-160 is a huge JUMP from 95. How tall are you???????
    From my experience men don't like super duper skinny. Depends on guy! :)
    Yeah I was just a staring to fall in the overweight category when we were getting married at 160 and I am 5'6 lol

    95lbs at 5'6? I am 4'9.5" and am aiming for 120. 95lbs is too thin imo.
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
    Yeah, add some muscle.

    Lift and eat above maintenance. You'll like the way you look and feel.
  • ChasingMyBliss
    ChasingMyBliss Posts: 803 Member
    It sounds like your husband is trying to help you. 95 lbs. is way to skinny for your height. Your body needs help!l Feed it, exercise, find a way to be healthy and happy. I agree that you should seek medical advice, and find someone to help you get a more realistic view of what it means to be healthy.

    Best of luck. Take CARE of yourself.
  • spara0038
    spara0038 Posts: 226 Member
    5'6" at 95 lbs is underweight. Your BMI is 15.3, which is dangerously low.

    I am 5'2" and shooting for 115-120 (BMI 21-22). I wouldn't even DREAM of 95.

    Get some help. Seriously.

    Not to mention the physical harm you're doing to your own body, you are probably putting your marriage in jeopardy too. It sounds like your husband is concerned for your health, and brushing aside his concerns and instead asking anonymous people on the internet is probably hurting him. Wouldn't you be upset if your husband followed a random stranger's advice rather than yours?

    Also, it sounds like you have an unhealthy relationship with food/weight. What if your husband had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol? or gambling? After a while, you'd get sick of hearing about poker or beer or whatever his vice was and just want to spend time with HIM- the man you married. I think your husband is starting to feel isolated from you and concerned for you at the same time. After a while, giving in to your vices (your relationship with food) rather than investing time into your marriage can be just as detrimental as cheating on your husband. Don't let it get to that point. It sounds like there is much more at play here than just "should I or shouldn't I put on some pounds?"

    Finally- if you and your husband decided to have children, you most likely couldn't get pregnant at the weight you're at right now. Consider that not taking action ASAP is essentially sacrificing your future family (if that's what you want in life). Is it really worth it?
  • boredlimodriver
    boredlimodriver Posts: 264 Member
    You are you... do what makes you happy.

    I have had relationships with 'skinny' women and larger women. There are differences between the two but the only difference that really mattered was how they felt, as their feelings were reflected in their everyday personality.

    If you are happy, your husband should respect that. :)

    Have a nice day.

    no. ignore this person
  • nikkylyn
    nikkylyn Posts: 325 Member
    Im 5'6 I weigh 155 ish and Im about a size 10. And my husband cant keep his hands off me ;)


    Way back when I was 130 ish I was about a size 6. ( This is my goal size not necessarily the weight)

    I cant imagine being 95lbs at my height. How much are you eating in a day? I would be worried to if you were my sister or someone I loved.
  • katematt313
    katematt313 Posts: 624 Member
    Your doctor would probably say the same thing - ask him/her!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    I recognized your picture. I realized it's because I've noticed other posts you've made.

    You're clearly suffering from an eating disorder. Your other posts have expressed a desire to gain to a healthy weight but a fear of doing so, as well as an admittance that you fear no longer counting calories.

    Look into seeing a therapist, particularly one who specializes in eating disorders. The control and the fear are hugely defining of anorexia, and often we need professionals to help us deal with this other voice not letting us "let go."
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    My husband and I had a discussion last night, he says he wants for me to weigh 140-160 lbs ( currently I am 95 lbs) . Is this to get me to gain more weight or do men actually not care for "skinny"?

    Some men do care for skinny... but I think your husband is actually working towards "not dead". You are way too light, and he cares enough to step in.

    I'm sure he loves you, but is probably worried sick.

    Get help. Please.
    Even if it means checking into a monitored program.

    I'm sure your husband does not want to be burying you. :(
  • JessieSky
    JessieSky Posts: 79
    Yeah, add some muscle.

    Lift and eat above maintenance. You'll like the way you look and feel.

    Not sure that she should start lifting given the anorexia and all that until she speaks with her doctor. Some exercises might be unsafe for her at this point, being so underweight.

    Bottom line is, a doctor needs to be part of this equation, no matter how you decide to go about being healthier.
  • JessieSky
    JessieSky Posts: 79
    I'm wondering if he's tried the, "I'm worried about your health," approach and it didn't work, so now he's trying the, "I'm not attracted to you," approach to get her to see reason.

    Does seem like a possibility here. I'd probably try different things, too, if she were someone in my life. He sounds concerned, with good reason.
  • glenelliott5872
    glenelliott5872 Posts: 150 Member
    At just over 5'6, when I weigh 130, "the girls" are a B cup. At 95 pounds, they'd be nonexistent. In my experience, many husbands prefer boobs.

    very true

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