Wife not confident with MFP. She only lost 2lbs in 2 weeks

Springfield1970

I'm so glad I'm not married. What are you thinking of? Haha!

_Terrapin_

She has been following it to a T but something is keeping her back. Im not sure what it is but she needs some encouragement or advice. She has begun going to the gym 3 times a week but just going to classes.

I dont think she is drinking enough water but not sure if thats the only thing. I also think since she isnt so fat, she isnt losing as much weight as other overweight people. But im not sure.

If she's concerned with her progress, why isn't she posting to the forums? I know you probably think you're helping, but it's coming off as a little controlling. You are implying that 'just' going to classes at the gym isn't enough. You're guessing her water intake is to blame.

You are right about one thing: she has less to lose, so she will lose it more slowly. I don't think it would be wise to try to figure out what she is doing "wrong." Even if you are trying to help alleviate her frustration, even if your heart is in the right place, it won't be as helpful as simply encouraging her to keep with her plan. She can hunt for answers on the forums for herself if she feels that she's not getting to where she wants to be.

she is a teacher and never tries to check. You would think me being the success story would be enough confidence for her but i dont want her to get discouraged. I dont think she needs to force it but then again she wants to lose the weight not me. IM only asking for advice for her to not get her discouraged with her great progress. Im only helping her reach her goals. i dont think that means im controlling her which is crazy to say with just asking for advice for her.

Yes, asking for advice for others who are or getting ready to revert back always provides excellent insight from MFP. If your wife has a sharp sword and she'd like to drop 15 pounds you may want to duck. Best of luck with goals, this thread, her fat, your life.

Stoshew71

Women don't want to be fixed by their husband. They just want to vent at the husband and know you care enough to just listen to her.

For example:

WRONG WAY TO ANSWER
Wife: I just jumped on the scale and it says I only lost 1 lb.
Husband: You have your mfp settings wrong, plus I think you look great. You are not one of those fat women so I don't think you should worry about it.

CORRECT WAY TO ANSWER
Wife: I just jumped on the scale and it says I only lost 1 lb.
Husband: And how does that make you feel hunnie? Come here, I want to give my beautiful wife a hug.
*resist urge to give actual advise*

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raven56706

hahahaha.... so telling my wife she looks great and telling her she is doing a great job is bad. She then gets mad and wants to revert to the fad diets.

So i come here to the place that helped me lose the weight and ask for advice to help her reach her realistic goals is a bad thing?

come on people... im trying to help her before she reverts back to the diets that arent good for you.

Well you asked for advice, this is what advice looks like. Sorry if it's not what you want to hear but it's realistic. No one's saying what she's doing is bad. We're just speaking from our own experience and saying what has worked and what hasn't. Losing weight isn't easy and it isn't quick. That doesn't mean it's impossible though.

not that advice... Thats what she needs to read. 1lb is awesome and good for her but i will leave it to her to respond. Apparently i am commenting on her weight and blah blah blah. Im just trying to help her because she was upset to see 1lb off the list. i didnt even know she had that setting up until an hour ago. i thought it was 2lbs a week set.

All good encouragement though. thanks everyone

AsaThorsWoman

she is going to reply in a few. Love some of the funny posts here. Taking this way too seriuo

They get hangry.

Follow_me

I'm sure she gained that weight at a much slower rate. SOunds to me she's losing it at a healthy rate. Tell her to stick with it. It WILL come off.

AliceSwarthout

The only problem she's having is setting her expectations too high. With 20 pounds to lose, 1/2 to 1 pound per week is a more realistic goal.

^This

jofjltncb6

(For what it's worth, I'm the poster husband for providing solutions when I should have offered feels (and stuff). When someone describes a problem for which I have a potential solution, I'm compelled to give it. I occasionally get it right and say the right things (or at least don't say the wrong things), but not often. After nearly 25 years of marriage, you'd think I'd have this figured out by now...but you'd be very very wrong.

Oh, and OP...you're still in trouble when your wife gets here.)

ETA: Oh, and one pound/week is fine...but it's also within the margin of scale volatility. (I frequently gain/lose 2-3 pounds over one or two days.) So it could be more than that, could be less. After only two weeks, it's impossible to tell (because two weeks isn't enough time).

Aaron_K123

So my wife is now using MFP to lose weight. She wants to lose 20lbs. She has set her calorie intake to be 1250 cal per day. She is looking to lose 2 lbs a week.

She has been following it to a T but something is keeping her back. Im not sure what it is but she needs some encouragement or advice. She has begun going to the gym 3 times a week but just going to classes.

I dont think she is drinking enough water but not sure if thats the only thing. I also think since she isnt so fat, she isnt losing as much weight as other overweight people. But im not sure.


any advice you can give to her.

1 pounds a week is a good weight loss, pretty fast actually. Also I can't help but read between the lines here that she hasn't been doing this for very long. If she hasn't been doing this for very long its pretty impossible to accurately gauge how quickly you are losing weight due to random fluctuations in weight from water retention. It takes months and months and months of consistent logging before you can establish a trend that shows your true weightloss per time.

If she decided she was losing 1 pound a week from like 3 weeks of data then that is not going to be accurate at all.

jofjltncb6

she is going to reply in a few. Love some of the funny posts here. Taking this way too seriuo

They get hangry.

The only thing I know when someone accuses me of being hangry...

...is that they haven't looked at my food diary.

AsaThorsWoman

I know this sounds crazy but I have read and re-read OP's post and I just done see where it says she's losing 1lb per week.

Bottom line... Calorie counting doesn't cut it for everyone. It is a way, and a very darn good and effective way, but it just doesn't work without obsession and insane un-sustainable deficits for some people.

My honest advice: Give Low-Carb, High-Fat a fair two-three week run. She'll be shocked and excited. It will drop.

Read the title.... lol

Hmmm... total blonde moment. Carry on folks... nothing to see here. *blush*

RWTBR

She needs to relax and not try to lose weight so quickly. She will gain it all back real quick if she keeps going about it this way. It needs to be a permanent change, not a 10-week program.

Springfield1970

she is going to reply in a few. Love some of the funny posts here. Taking this way too seriuo

They get hangry.

Not as hangry as wifey's gonna get when she goes back to eating normal food after she dropped all the water weight on your suggested diet. Lol! Good evening entertainment!

PurpleCupcakes01

Sounds like she's doing just fine

tapirfrog

I would *love* to lose weight as fast as your wife is.

She has unreasonable expectations. The human body does not let go of fat as quickly as the fad diets say it will. But sure, by all means, let her go back to the fad diets, since they've worked so well for her already, right?

wonderwoman234

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

raven56706

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

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_KitKat_

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

Honestly was she suppose to say "don't do it"? You managed to lose a lot of weight using MFP, that can be intimidating to your SO. She has very little to lose so it will be at a slow rate if she wants the weight to stay off. As a female my weight ranges within a 4lb. range, until you have over a month of logging and get a number consistently outside of your range you have no way of knowing what you did or didn't lose. She needs to just stick to it and any movement downward of the numbers is great. She may also want to remember it takes less calories to fuel a smaller body, so a large deficient is not really possible for her like it was for you.

As a wife of 17 yrs.....if this is truly something your wife wanted to learn and commit to she would post on her own behalf. I love having my husband in my corner but I am a big girl and can handle my own concerns (except spiders Yuck). If she needs your help she will ask not just OK it after you offer. If she isn't happy about the scale, just smile and say something along the lines of " you look beautiful" or something flirtatious. She will vent, it doesn't mean she needs rescuing. She also will not lose weight in a healthy way till she decides she is done with fad diets. Also if you notice small body changes in her, comment and compliment her. Body changes are what she most likely looking for with only 20lbs. to lose. Noticing things tightening up and saying how good she looks can give her incentive and score you brownie points.

To the OP and others, this last week I have seen a few posts from men posting on behalf of their wife.....did a bunch of married women break their damn fingers. Men if it was important enough to her, she would find a way to find her answers with posting or through another resource.

rabblerabble

Losing a pound a week is just fine. Lose it much faster and it tends to come back.

whitebalance

she is going to reply in a few. Love some of the funny posts here. Taking this way too seriuo

In... because any time of year, I'm a sucker for

_Terrapin_

Where is she? Does she know we care? Does she really exist?

jofjltncb6

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

Don't worry you've done nothing wrong here

You're a solid wing-man.

ZombieEarhart

I know this sounds crazy but I have read and re-read OP's post and I just done see where it says she's losing 1lb per week.

Bottom line... Calorie counting doesn't cut it for everyone. It is a way, and a very darn good and effective way, but it just doesn't work without obsession and insane un-sustainable deficits for some people.

My honest advice: Give Low-Carb, High-Fat a fair two-three week run. She'll be shocked and excited. It will drop.

Yeah, anyone would lose in the first 2-3 weeks of low carb. Then what? Then she's back to losing .5 pounds a week. I think a better plan is to adjust expectations and eat at a moderate deficit.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Where is she? Does she know we care? Does she really exist?

I think she tossed him and his computer out the front door

PikaKnight

ok i got more info because i was wrong...


she has it set to 1 lb a week. So she is getting her goal. I find it odd that 1lb a week is 1250 but i think its because of her body type. She isnt overweight.


and SonicDeathMon... you should have seen her when she stepped on the scale. super angry.

If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal


When your wife set up things, did she pick that she was sedentary?

As a teacher, I'd have thought she'd be lightly active. Does she exercise at all? When you say 1250, is this net (eating exercise calories back)...or is this the total?


ETA: It sounds like she's making her goals so until her progress stops for a couple months (both in terms of scale loss and measurements), she shouldn't be worrying or rushing things.

michelle_816

The better question is why YOU are posting this on behalf of your wife. I assume she's an adult and can explore these questions herself if she feels she needs help?

Because i told her that i would and she said to let her know what everyone said.

Honestly was she suppose to say "don't do it"? You managed to lose a lot of weight using MFP, that can be intimidating to your SO. She has very little to lose so it will be at a slow rate if she wants the weight to stay off. As a female my weight ranges within a 4lb. range, until you have over a month of logging and get a number consistently outside of your range you have no way of knowing what you did or didn't lose. She needs to just stick to it and any movement downward of the numbers is great. She may also want to remember it takes less calories to fuel a smaller body, so a large deficient is not really possible for her like it was for you.

As a wife of 17 yrs.....if this is truly something your wife wanted to learn and commit to she would post on her own behalf. I love having my husband in my corner but I am a big girl and can handle my own concerns (except spiders Yuck). If she needs your help she will ask not just OK it after you offer. If she isn't happy about the scale, just smile and say something along the lines of " you look beautiful" or something flirtatious. She will vent, it doesn't mean she needs rescuing. She also will not lose weight in a healthy way till she decides she is done with fad diets. Also if you notice small body changes in her, comment and compliment her. Body changes are what she most likely looking for with only 20lbs. to lose. Noticing things tightening up and saying how good she looks can give her incentive and score you brownie points.

To the OP and others, this last week I have seen a few posts from men posting on behalf of their wife.....did a bunch of married women break their damn fingers. Men if it was important enough to her, she would find a way to find her answers with posting or through another resource.

In support of the OP here! First let me say that your wife is doing GREAT! One thing to have her look at more closely is whether or not she is getting enough calories (is she eating back her exercise calories?). Please keep encouraging her and being supportive! If she wants you to stop asking questions on her behalf, by all means do so. But if she has no issues with this (I know I wouldn't), then ask away!

To all of you out there bashing the OP, did you ever consider the fact that his wife is laid back and could very well be sitting in the same room with him as he asks these questions? Did you ever think that perhaps she is busy tending to other things, but would still appreciate the feedback and simply does not have the time to sit at her computer?

DH and I have been married for 12 years and I would be thrilled if he expressed more of an interest in my weight loss, especially if I was struggling. He's supportive, and I am doing well, but hopping on MFP to post something on my behalf is just not his thing. He would rather have me do the asking/talking. I am more comfortable with it.

I think it shows a mutual respect and trust with this couple that OP can ask the questions that will help support his wife in her journey!

megsmom2

Weight loss-wise...she's doing fine. But why are YOU doing the asking .....

AglaeaC

How bizarre. First thread where the two different tracks are perfect to pursue simultaneously :laugh: Neither is side track, but both are main. Never thought I'd see that.