I hate myself.

dakotababy

Leslie Sansone.

sassyjae21

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to tell their spouse what they "ought" to do in terms what he/she eats. That's not a lack of a support. That's choice.

OP said her hubby was disappointed she did not want junk food around. I know if I started losing weight I would appreciate my spouse putting his junk food out of sight, I would do that for him also. I think this is being supportive. I would not drink around an alcoholic when they first got sober. I needed extra help in the beginning. I had to learn to take care of myself for a change Instead of everyone else. It is easy for Moms to lookout for everyone else and not ask for what they need.

OP has enough challenges to tackle lets not put on her agenda changing her entire family as well. She can make the changes she needs without putting demands on or starting war with ppl in her home. Once she sees how much she is entitled too cals wise it might now make sense to throw out all the things in the world that came in a package.

Agreed. She would be better spent focusing her efforts internally than requiring everyone else to do what she wants in the name of "support."

If I'm the type of person to eat every last cookie till they are gone (I am), I too might consider asking a roommate to please enjoy their treats outside of the house, or lock them away somehow. I won't always need this crutch but why not leverage it to success while I can?

Because you're going to have to learn self control. Why not start immediately? People are not obligated to accommodate you because you cannot control yourself and you should not expect them to. You (not specifically you) have to take responsibility for what you do.

Good luck op. You got this. Don't be so mean to yourself.

MelodyandBarbells

Do this quiz first and then come back and say what it gives you.

http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

any day now OP. You still there?

That's pretty condescending. This isn't about a lack of knowledge. This is about an individual expressing emotional despair and needing support. If she wants advice on the how, she knows how to ask. Try to be more sensitive to the heart of the message.

Wow, you sure told me didn't you?

That was not meant to be condescending. I got the heart of her message. I think she feels overwhelmed.

I sincerely beleive that if she does her numbers and sees that she will actually be able to eat something much more than what she probably imagines a lot of the emotional turmoil and pressure she is feeling will subside. It will seem much more doable.

I ask again OP, thanks for checking back but you did not do the TDEE calculator. Can you try to do it and forget that ugly connotation this other poster tried to give it and accept it as a tool to help you see your goal as much more attainable than it probably currently seems?

Here it is again.

http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

Agreed.

She may realize, "hey, I don't have to white knuckle it as much eating 1200 calories per day consisting of only Chicken breasts . and broccoli. I can eat ~2000 calories each day and lose 50 lbs in one year. Sweet!"

teacherbecca

I have definitely been where you are. Might I suggest that you take this thing day by day. Start out each morning with a promise to yourself to stay on plan for today. If you mess up, even if you mess up miserably, let that day go. Tomorrow, start out with a promise to stay on plan. For yourself, because you are worth it.

DimpledVetDoc

Amazingly inspirational. Thank you

MelodyandBarbells

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to tell their spouse what they "ought" to do in terms what he/she eats. That's not a lack of a support. That's choice.

OP said her hubby was disappointed she did not want junk food around. I know if I started losing weight I would appreciate my spouse putting his junk food out of sight, I would do that for him also. I think this is being supportive. I would not drink around an alcoholic when they first got sober. I needed extra help in the beginning. I had to learn to take care of myself for a change Instead of everyone else. It is easy for Moms to lookout for everyone else and not ask for what they need.

OP has enough challenges to tackle lets not put on her agenda changing her entire family as well. She can make the changes she needs without putting demands on or starting war with ppl in her home. Once she sees how much she is entitled too cals wise it might now make sense to throw out all the things in the world that came in a package.

Agreed. She would be better spent focusing her efforts internally than requiring everyone else to do what she wants in the name of "support."

If I'm the type of person to eat every last cookie till they are gone (I am), I too might consider asking a roommate to please enjoy their treats outside of the house, or lock them away somehow. I won't always need this crutch but why not leverage it to success while I can?

Because you're going to have to learn self control. Why not start immediately? People are not obligated to accommodate you because you cannot control yourself and you should not expect them to. You (not specifically you) have to take responsibility for what you do.

Good luck op. You got this. Don't be so mean to yourself.

You are probably right.

I will say that keeping foods around which you have no self control OUT of the house is a pretty common moderation method. Enjoy lunch out with friends, grab everybody and go for ice cream or pizza, but not have two gallons of ice cream in the house. We probably just still have our training wheels on, and to me, that's okay.

Friends and family often ask if/how they can support you on your journey. Perhaps some would be willing to assist in this request for HELP.

onmyway57

You must find a Happy place. Mine was my Grandchildren. I looked at them and realized that my Grandchildren needed me more than I needed the food. My mother died of obesity. Well not that it killed her but all the problems it caused did. I remember her say honey please don't let yourself go and get In the same shape as me. 20 years later and there I was. It rings in my head daily those words , but I still could not make myself stop. The more I thought about the weight the more depressed I got and ate. What finally touch home was when my husband came home and told me his cholesterol was out of control again. See he had a triple bypass 10 years ago and they said it would only last 10 years. I did this to him as I did it to myself. That day the light came on I knew if I didn't get myself together I may not have him and my children may not have us. I started this Journey in February. I take one day at a time stayed off the scales for the first 10 weeks. This gave me a boost in the total amount lost which push me to continue on. I mess up and sometimes don't do as good as I should. Those days I stay away from the scale so that I will not get depressed about the weight gain. So if I can tell you one thing find you Happy place and stay there. When your depressed go there instead of food focus on the better you, every day. Do this for you. I will pray for you and all others that with the power of prayer we will become a better us.

sassyjae21

and if your hubby wants junk food, tell him to take it downstairs or somewhere out of sight because he needs to support you. My hubby did this for a while and then he got on board and lost weight also.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to tell their spouse what they "ought" to do in terms what he/she eats. That's not a lack of a support. That's choice.

OP said her hubby was disappointed she did not want junk food around. I know if I started losing weight I would appreciate my spouse putting his junk food out of sight, I would do that for him also. I think this is being supportive. I would not drink around an alcoholic when they first got sober. I needed extra help in the beginning. I had to learn to take care of myself for a change Instead of everyone else. It is easy for Moms to lookout for everyone else and not ask for what they need.

OP has enough challenges to tackle lets not put on her agenda changing her entire family as well. She can make the changes she needs without putting demands on or starting war with ppl in her home. Once she sees how much she is entitled too cals wise it might now make sense to throw out all the things in the world that came in a package.

Agreed. She would be better spent focusing her efforts internally than requiring everyone else to do what she wants in the name of "support."

If I'm the type of person to eat every last cookie till they are gone (I am), I too might consider asking a roommate to please enjoy their treats outside of the house, or lock them away somehow. I won't always need this crutch but why not leverage it to success while I can?

Because you're going to have to learn self control. Why not start immediately? People are not obligated to accommodate you because you cannot control yourself and you should not expect them to. You (not specifically you) have to take responsibility for what you do.

Good luck op. You got this. Don't be so mean to yourself.

You are probably right.

I will say that keeping foods around which you have no self control OUT of the house is a pretty common moderation method. Enjoy lunch out with friends, grab everybody and go for ice cream or pizza, but not have two gallons of ice cream in the house. We probably just still have our training wheels on, and to me, that's okay.

Friends and family often ask if/how they can support you on your journey. Perhaps some would be willing to assist in this request for HELP.

Yea, I do that too. It's helpful to just keep the junk out of the house. I don't buy it because I don't want to be tempted by it. But if I'm living with someone, it's a different story. To each their own. Either way, op, we believe in you. Learn moderation the best way you can.

danasings

Thanks, everyone. I woke up feeling a bit better today. Really looking forward to this afternoon. We're going to get rid of the junk in the kitchen then go shopping to get good stuff. We're going to focus on veggies, fruit, beans, whole grains and lean meats.

My husband is disappointed that I don't want to keep the junk on hand anymore but I told him its too easy to grab when I get hungry while feeding the baby. I believe my 2-year-old will adjust just fine. Fruit is her favorite food group and she eats most veggies including raw baby spinach.

I'm doing better eating today, too. Still some bad choices but I made some good ones also. And even when I did make the bad choices today at least I had some self control and didn't go overboard. I'm calling it success so far.

I didn't read this before responding, but let me add that you don't have to make a full 180 overnight. If you can't moderate or portion control the "junk" then fine, get rid of some of it, but many of us found success by moderating it rather than flat out refusing to satisfy our cravings. The real key here is portion control and you have to learn it at some point. 1 or 2 cookies didn't put you in your current position, for example, so don't think that you suddenly have to eat the "perfect" diet. Shoot for better rather than perfect.

+1

+2

IIIIISerenityNowIIIII

So glad you had a better day!!

I love junk food. I eat dessert every night before bed. The difference is now, I make sure whatever dessert I eat keeps me within my calorie budget instead of the past where I would sit down with a spoon and a 1/2 gal of ice cream and eat til I felt stuffed. Moderation