Dating after weightloss

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  • ritan7471
    ritan7471 Posts: 99 Member
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    I wonder if he's thinking the same thing as you just now, OP! Perhaps he has lost weight.

    Sooner or later, if you are both into keeping fit and still enjoying food, I bet it will come up. Then I would just say, well, x years ago I lost a significant amount of weight, and staying healthy is very important to me.
  • wannehunter85
    wannehunter85 Posts: 133
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    Yup I agree with all of these replies. :) I am sure it will work out exactly how it is meant to.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Personally, just because I'm smaller now doesn't mean it's not a struggle every day... It's a big part of me, so I'd probably bring it up at some point (but I have loose skin, so it's hard to hide anyway). Even if it's just to make him aware that you're trying hard not to go back to your old habits.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    During dating? If you don't want to, no.

    But if things get serious? Absolutely, especially if you're even thinking about settling down.

    Look, the reality is that the overwhelming majority of people regain some, if not all, of our weight back. Those of us who don't will be on this maintainence journey for life. If you're spending your life with somebody then they will eventually become privy to your very real struggle, struggles and challenges that don't necessarily end because you reach some arbitrary weight goal. Being fat, especially if you were obese, affects not only your body, but your mind, your very relationship with food. Imagine if you met someone who was attracted to the "new" you, the thinner you, but as time went on old self esteem issues from being fat had a very real impact on your relationship, or god forbid, you regained the weight. They've now been asked to help walk a road with you that they didn't even know existed.

    Also it's VERY important for people to know the medical background of the person they might have kids with. Fat adults have a higher chance of birthing kids who struggle with weight too. Disclosing the fact that you were fat, IMO, isn't much different than disclosing the fact that you once fought cancer, or battled hypertension. Let people know what their own children could be facing some day, if it comes down to that.

    I understand the desire to marry yourself so thoroughly to the "new" you that you'd rather leave the past in the past. But issues with food, battles against obesity, these things are potentially life long issues. That's no different than a former drug addict, or former alcoholic (or if you're an AA believer, an always addict), not disclosing information to their partner about their struggles in the past. Even if you don't feel it's a part of who you are anymore, it is a vital part of who you became.

    Well said!!

    I agree totally with this, especially for those of us who were obese or morbidly obese.

    I can see some people who were maybe 15-20 lb overweight and are now very thin/fit totally hiding their former weight and not ever bringing it up...but when it is a SERIOUS weight issue I think it would be a bit odd to hide it or dismiss it.

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