vent: people giving me a hard time about being a vegetarian

sillyone813

Why would you chose to say that you don't eat meat, rather than a simple "no thanks"? Sounds to me like you WANT the discussion ..

"No Thanks" only goes so far and only amongst certain circles.

We have dinner functions at work occasionally where we are required to shell out $60 or so a dinner. When the only thing on the menu I can have is "cheese platter", yes, I will mention I am a vegetarian. I don't want the discussion, but I want the planners to be respectful of other people's dietary choices or needs. A vegetarian option won't do damage to a meat eater, in fact they might enjoy it. In the same respect, I also look out to make sure there is a kosher dish, and multiple meat items are available for different religions. If there are 15 dishes at a function, not every single one needs to contain meat.

It's the same thing with drinking. I don't drink alcohol, it's not a subject I feel I need to discuss, but if people are calling me antisocial because I don't want to go out drinking with them or split a alcohol bill with people, yeah I'll mention it, I just don't drink.

Luckily the people I work with now are very respectful of my dietary choices and when we have parties these days and several people will make a vegetarian dish that everyone can enjoy.

juliemouse83

I never advertised my meatless week, but our work situation is set up in a way that people WILL notice what you are or aren't eating. All it takes is one person to make a comment and suddenly it is a big deal, or the person that says, "here, try the veal," and you reply that you don't eat meat...I don't consider that advertising. Walking into work and announcing, "Hey y'all! Guess what? I'm a vegetarian now, so don't offer me any kind of meat," is advertising, LOL...:laugh:

Why would you chose to say that you don't eat meat, rather than a simple "no thanks"? Sounds to me like you WANT the discussion ..

That was an example...it could have been a piece of meat, a piece of cake, and here? A simple, "no thank you" doesn't really seem to be enough around here. The point I was trying to make is that someone is going to have an opinion about anything you do. Another example (and this did not happen to me) was when someone was offered something that they were medically advised not to consume and explained that, you know, after the recommended "no, thank you" the subject was pressed and the person offering told the medically advised person that perhaps they needed to see another doctor. :laugh:

I don't know if it's just this specific group of people, or that it's a regional thing, but I have NEVER seen people so interested in the why's and what for's of someone else's business or preferences as I have with this particular group of people.

ETA: In retrospect, because it was a one week meatless thing, I should've just said I wasn't feeling hot, or that it just didn't sound good to me, and that would have been believable, but I'm not thinking that it would have washed had it been a permanent solution.

elliej

No way! I'm a lifelong veggie and I always 'announce'. I love a debate about vegetarianism with preachy meaties, just stay dispassionate - neither of you will change each other!

there is a big difference on both parts in terms of having a valid discussion/rigourous debate- verses just arguing for the sake of arguing- if you are baiting to start a fight you are no better than you're "preachy meaties" that you are arguing with.

I often will ask and discuss with other people- but making it a baiting situation makes you no better than people giving you chit about your vegetarianism.

I don't bait or start arguments, but if someone laughs in my face and tells me to eat a bacon sandwich I will debate with them as to what value meat would bring to my life.

while I understand and respect that- this is not the indication of your sentence which is above mine that I quoted.

Do you think? I thought I chose my words carefully - I debate + dispassionately, i.e. speak generally and use experience as well as evidence, don't get upset by their comments, don't think I can change their mind about meat and nor do I want to.

Inkratlet

Perhaps you would have better luck if you came up with a different reason for being a vegetarian that doesn't open the topic up for debate. Just something as innocuous as "I don't really like meat, I really like the textures of vegetarian dishes and nuances of flavors and find those more appealing." No one is really going to argue with "I like this food better." When you start making it into a values issue or bringing up reasons that can be disputed scientifically, it leads to drama. Just don't talk about it, and don't make a big deal about it if someone asks.

Yup this.

When I was veggie (10 years) I didn't talk about it. I learnt very early on that people will pick on you over it so I just stopped mentioning it unless it was absolutely necessary (like when a work meal decided to go to a steakhouse that had nothing I could eat, I had to explain why I wasn't coming along.) Then if anyone did ask me about it I said I didn't like the texture of meat. Which is mostly true, except there are some meats I quite like and I eat those now.

ninerbuff

In general people will get grief for just about anything they do. I don't drink alcohol. People always say I'm missing out. I actually tell them that I'm not because I get to watch the after effects when they get smashed. Great entertainment.:laugh:
Let it go. People will always have opinions and let them. You letting it affect you will just re enforce how insecure you are with your decisions.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ekz13

When the only thing on the menu I can have is "cheese platter"

not picking on you, I've seen this statement alot in these threads...BUT... it's the only thing you CHOOSE to have..not the only thing you CAN have.... unless it's medical of course

I will mention I am a vegetarian. I don't want the discussion, but I want the planners to be respectful of other people's dietary choices or needs. A vegetarian option won't do damage to a meat eater, in fact they might enjoy it.

Couldn't the same be said for vegetarians.....A meat option won't do damage to a vegetarian eater, in fact they might enjoy it. ?

epazia

Davinci said that he was vegetarian because he could don't stand the idea of eating anything that had eyes!

Bernadette60614

I don't tell anyone I'm a vegetarian. If I'm at a meeting and everyone orders lunch in, I have a salad and some bread (don't usually eat bread, but this is a concession.) If I go to someone's house and they prepare something meat based, I'll eat the veggie sides and just push the other stuff around. If someone asks me what I would like when I go to their house, I'll just tell them I'm on a diet and I'd love to have some veggie sides.

I think part of the objection to vegetarians is wen people feel that they have to change the whole menu to accommodate the one vegetarian. I have paid $50.00 for some industry function, and sat that with a hunk of steak in the center of my empty plate cause I've eaten all the sides. It looks screwy, but if someone asks I'll just say: You know, I had a huge lunch and I just can't eat any more.

I live in the heartland of meat and potatoes, and even here there are vegetarian options on the Burger King menu...so I think that it is now easier to be a "secret vegetarian" than ever before.

It has gotten back to me that someone has revealed my secret allegiance to plants, and someone else will respond: I didn't know that. But, she's so nice! So, I think some people equate vegetarians with cranky pale people eating plates of sprouts.

bajoyba

When the only thing on the menu I can have is "cheese platter"

not picking on you, I've seen this statement alot in these threads...BUT... it's the only thing you CHOOSE to have..not the only thing you CAN have.... unless it's medical of course

I will mention I am a vegetarian. I don't want the discussion, but I want the planners to be respectful of other people's dietary choices or needs. A vegetarian option won't do damage to a meat eater, in fact they might enjoy it.

Couldn't the same be said for vegetarians.....A meat option won't do damage to a vegetarian eater, in fact they might enjoy it. ?

Would you say the same thing to someone who doesn't eat certain meats or certain foods due to their religious beliefs?

She shouldn't have to make concessions to her personal moral and ethical beliefs, especially if she's paying out of her own pocket to contribute to food.

SymphonynSonata

Every time I ever told someone I was vegan they just said "I love steak" and that was it; perhaps, on a rare occasion, the protein question. What kind of things are you saying to spur on discussions?

levitateme

I never advertised my meatless week, but our work situation is set up in a way that people WILL notice what you are or aren't eating. All it takes is one person to make a comment and suddenly it is a big deal, or the person that says, "here, try the veal," and you reply that you don't eat meat...I don't consider that advertising. Walking into work and announcing, "Hey y'all! Guess what? I'm a vegetarian now, so don't offer me any kind of meat," is advertising, LOL...:laugh:

Why would you chose to say that you don't eat meat, rather than a simple "no thanks"? Sounds to me like you WANT the discussion ..

Oh yeah, she's "asking for it", isn't she? I wouldn't expect you to understand the kind of backlash a vegetarian/vegan always gets, regardless of their response. It doesn't matter how many times you say "no, thanks" - eventually people always want to know why, and when you finally tell them they start calling you militant and preachy. It's ridiculous

Bull****. So people push and push, and you calmly and innocently say you're a vegetarian, and they attack and call you militant?

I reject that premise.

In 24 years of being vegetarian I've never been called militant or preachy. Maybe because if people ask I will tell them I'm a vegetarian. I've always been big on respecting everyone's choices. Not saying that anyone here doesn't. If people ask my why, I'll tell them my reasons. I also explain that I respect everyone's choice to decide what's right for them because what's right for me is only right for me, I cannot say what's right for someone else. I find a lot of people actually respect that.

This. I was never called preachy when I was veg for 20 years, and that's because I wasn't preachy about it. Some veg people are very vocally judgmental of others who choose to eat meat/animal products. Some people are downright smug about it. So I also find it hard to believe that someone called a vegetarian "militant" for no reason. When I run into a smugveg, I just call out all the hypocritical things vegans/vegetarians do. It makes them so mad. One example: recently a vegetarian who I'd call smug ate something with worcestershire and was like "whatever" when I told them it had anchovies in it.

AsaThorsWoman

People of all diets get ridicule.

Even those with no diets who are obese!

It's part of life, unfortunately.

My BF is Paleo and I'm LCHF Paleo, and we've been accused of "policing each other's diets".

LOL no, it's called having something in common, but we tweak our diets differently.

Boo.

kthulhu69

I've only ever had an issue with vegetarians when they attempt to represent some moral high ground. We're omnivores. You are welcome to limit your choices as long as you don't expect me to limit mine. I will respect your choice as long as you respect that I don't intend to follow it.

jkwolly

Are you sure they aren't just jealous of your Dolce blouse? :laugh:

HA! This! :drinker:

ekz13

When the only thing on the menu I can have is "cheese platter"

not picking on you, I've seen this statement alot in these threads...BUT... it's the only thing you CHOOSE to have..not the only thing you CAN have.... unless it's medical of course

I will mention I am a vegetarian. I don't want the discussion, but I want the planners to be respectful of other people's dietary choices or needs. A vegetarian option won't do damage to a meat eater, in fact they might enjoy it.

Couldn't the same be said for vegetarians.....A meat option won't do damage to a vegetarian eater, in fact they might enjoy it. ?

Would you say the same thing to someone who doesn't eat certain meats or certain foods due to their religious beliefs?

She shouldn't have to make concessions to her personal moral and ethical beliefs, especially if she's paying out of her own pocket to contribute to food.

not to sounds mean, but, if that choice is not a big "seller" for that business/restaurant/diner, etc then yes, its unreasonable to expect a business, store, restaurant... to cater to someone that is making a choice to eat a certain way (religious, moral, or otherwise) to carry that on a constant basis, they'd lose money. Take the medical route, how many restaurants carry a full line of gluten free items? I wouldn't expect Outback, or Logan's to carry a selection of veggie platters, anymore than I expect a vegan restaurant to carry a burger/fries meal, or a catholic diner (if that exists) to carry Matzo ball soup. I agree they probably could have whipped up a salad for someone that just wanted it (larger salad, not the 2 leaves kind they usually serve)

I can't tell you how many military dinners/ceremonies/functions I attended where it was pricey but you got ....chicken... like it or not, that's what was served... same with my recent business dinners...set menus.. sucks, but it is what it is.

bajoyba

When the only thing on the menu I can have is "cheese platter"

not picking on you, I've seen this statement alot in these threads...BUT... it's the only thing you CHOOSE to have..not the only thing you CAN have.... unless it's medical of course

I will mention I am a vegetarian. I don't want the discussion, but I want the planners to be respectful of other people's dietary choices or needs. A vegetarian option won't do damage to a meat eater, in fact they might enjoy it.

Couldn't the same be said for vegetarians.....A meat option won't do damage to a vegetarian eater, in fact they might enjoy it. ?

Would you say the same thing to someone who doesn't eat certain meats or certain foods due to their religious beliefs?

She shouldn't have to make concessions to her personal moral and ethical beliefs, especially if she's paying out of her own pocket to contribute to food.

not to sounds mean, but, if that choice is not a big "seller" for that business/restaurant/diner, etc then yes, its unreasonable to expect a business, store, restaurant... to cater to someone that is making a choice to eat a certain way (religious, moral, or otherwise) to carry that on a constant basis, they'd lose money. Take the medical route, how many restaurants carry a full line of gluten free items? I wouldn't expect Outback, or Logan's to carry a selection of veggie platters, anymore than I expect a vegan restaurant to carry a burger/fries meal, or a catholic diner (if that exists) to carry Matzo ball soup. I agree they probably could have whipped up a salad for someone that just wanted it (larger salad, not the 2 leaves kind they usually serve)

I can't tell you how many military dinners/ceremonies/functions I attended where it was pricey but you got ....chicken... like it or not, that's what was served... same with my recent business dinners...set menus.. sucks, but it is what it is.

I agree that it is unreasonable to expect that there will be vegetarian meal options everywhere I go. But I don't think it's unreasonable that if your co-workers/friends/family know that you don't eat meat and expect you to pay out of pocket for a meal, that they at least take your dietary preferences into account.

I don't expect restaurants to offer vegetarian options for meals. I often order a salad as my meal, and I'm okay with that. If I'm going to a party or event at someone's house, I don't expect them to have much food for me to eat because not a lot of people know how to prepare vegetarian dishes, and it often doesn't even cross people's minds. I even told my best friend (whose wedding I'm in) that she didn't have to worry about providing a vegetarian option for my sake and that I'd be happy to bring something to eat instead.

Most of the people in my life are meat-eaters, and I fully respect their choice to eat whatever they want. But I don't take very kindly to being told my choice to be a vegetarian is something that should be abandoned for the convenience of other people, and I've had family members try to sneak meat into my food without me knowing it because "a little meat won't hurt". Would it hurt me physically? Probably not. But that doesn't mean it's okay to ignore or disrespect my beliefs or purposely neglect to provide a food option because I "might enjoy it". I won't enjoy it.

redraidergirl2009

If you are solid and firm in your choice most people will back off. If someone can't then be rude or make them look stupid. It's not hard.

redraidergirl2009

Question: How do people know you're a vegetarian? My guess is that you're bringing this down on yourself.

Actually it does come up. At work a lot of food is brought and the only way to stop people from offering it to you is come out and say that you are vegetarian because just saying "no thank you" people assume it's a diet about weight or something. I also have to turn down sweets not due to my diet but because they literally make me sick.

redraidergirl2009

I never advertised my meatless week, but our work situation is set up in a way that people WILL notice what you are or aren't eating. All it takes is one person to make a comment and suddenly it is a big deal, or the person that says, "here, try the veal," and you reply that you don't eat meat...I don't consider that advertising. Walking into work and announcing, "Hey y'all! Guess what? I'm a vegetarian now, so don't offer me any kind of meat," is advertising, LOL...:laugh:

Why would you chose to say that you don't eat meat, rather than a simple "no thanks"? Sounds to me like you WANT the discussion ..

Because people ask why or persist if you say no thanks. You wouldn't imagine the amount of food I have been offered before I just flat out had to say no I don't eat meat because "are you sure?", or "just try a little" would be follow ups

Carley

When I was vegan I would reply it was personal reasons. I didn't feed their uneducated arguments, ignore them.

Bernadette60614

Here's a thought:

Hold up the largest ear of corn you have.

Say, see this large ear of corn?

It has friends.

Lots of friends.

And, if you don't back it off, I'm going to beat you with them.

That should do it.

cebreisch

There are always going to be those who criticize over anything and everything. They wouldn't do things you're doing or the way you're doing them, and that's okay. I agree that I don't understand why people have to make a big deal over the decisions you make on how to proceed with your life.

I'm sure you didn't choose to be a vegetarian to deprive yourself of certain things!! It's annoying that people act that way.

I've always felt that if someone's vegetarian, pescatarian, or whatever, then that person obviously feels there is merit to following that lifestyle. It's not my job to tell them whether it's right or wrong or undermine their efforts.

Don't give those trolls the time of day. Like others have said, just say it's a choice you've made, you're happy with it, and remove yourself from the troll.