Big boned
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I understand what you are saying totally as a fellow 'Child-bearing' framed woman and I do think that some of the comments you have received are downright thoughtless but some people are not observant of others and genuinely may not have noticed too much of a change!
This has absolutely nothing to do with you but everything to do with them! I would try to shrug off their comments, after all you are slimming for yourself and no one else!
In regards to those who have unintentionally offended you, this is all a matter of poor timing on their part. It is nice that people care enough to try to comfort you, even if it wasn't what you were expecting or needing :-)
Move on from this Hun and forgive, only your opinion matters when it comes to your body.
Kaela x0 -
At 6ft tall and large framed I have to lose at least 25 lbs before anyone even says, "Hey your face looks thinner...have you lost a COUPLE of pounds?" I wanna say "Are you freaking kidding me?" But I just smile sweetly and say, "Oh yeah, I lost a few." I am now at 36lbs lost and am getting the face thinner comments! I have about 80lbs more to go. I know I will never be rail thin (Kate Moss type) but I can be curvy (Tyra Banks type). But it's all good cause like my hubby says, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog!" :laugh:
That's not a very nice thing to say. Just like you are naturally larger framed, plenty of women have small frames. There's no reason to insult them like that.
This. And your husband is entitled to his sexual preferences, but that doesn't mean everyone shares them.
As I've said, no insult was intended so mea culpa to anyone who took offense. And agreed he, along with everyone else is entitled to their sexual preferences....that's one of the things that makes the world so interesting.
I know. LOL. You're right! I always found it so interesting as a shorter gal whenever tall girls like yourself would try to get the attention of my tall ex boyfriend. He would always say, "Heck no! She looks like a MONSTER...eff that!" It's so funny how the world is so interesting. The most interesting part was how I usually felt the need to shut him up and say "That's so mean, don't say that, shhhht!" Probably because I was thinking of a few of my tall and sweet cousins. Now that you've shown me how "interesting" the world is I guess I can find him on FB and tell him I was wrong, insulting people based on his own sexual preferences is okay and was merely "interesting" the whole time.0 -
I know this might sound a little harsh but so what?
Do you eat healthier?
Can you run further?
Do you get tired going upstairs anymore?
Do your clothes fit better?
Do you have more energy to do the things you enjoy?
Are you living a lifestyle that will help you stay around a little longer?
I'm not doing this so other people say nice things about me. In the world of the skinny and attractive people are FAR more cruel and vindictive to one another than they are to chubby folks. Just watch the emotional turmoil a size zero with giant fake breasts and a $60,000 car goes through when she gets a tiny pimple to understand that no one gets a free pass from insecurity unless they give it to themselves.
It's great if other people support you and your goals but when it comes right down to it you should be doing this for you and not them.
When I was in my twenties, I decided to get fit for a few years. I used to go running in all my glorious fat glory, covered in sweat and moving slower than a toddler as people shouted out all sorts of fat jokes at me. It didn't matter in the slightest. I understood the big picture. People who ate healthy and moved lost weight regardless of anything anyone might say.
A year later I was running 10 miles a day, snowboarding every weekend, riding my bike 15 miles to work and barely breaking a sweat. A few years after that I had a black belt in Taekwondo and was skydiving out of airplanes and kayaking down rapids. The world is not populated with kind understanding people there to support me or you. We have to do that for ourselves.
I love the old serenity prayer, accept the things we can not change and change the things we can. We have no power over the thoughts and deeds of other people but total control over our own. We need to accept responsibility for bodies and minds regardless of what anyone else, positive or negative, might have to say about us.0 -
I'm short and large framed (i.e. "big boned") but I don't look fat. Even if you do have a large frame, you absolutely still can look lean and fit.
Here's a pic of Camille Leblanc-Bazinet... she's a crossfit champion. She is large framed... as you can see from this pic she doesn't look remotely fat. Notice she has big shoulders... that's what large framed means (wide shoulders, large rib cage and wide pelvis). It doesn't mean fat.
Here is another one:
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I am small/medium boned and tend toward rangy.(Yet I was able to give birth to 2 ten pound babies in 4 hours naturally with my 35" hips no problem...
It's the hourglass shape 36-26-35 that aids in childbirth.)
I have a voluptuous friend with a larger frame. Good thing too or she'd have nothing to support her REALLY curvy figure. She's gorgeous. She also has an hourglass frame but curvier than mine. She will never have to worry about doing squats to get a butt!
The point is that we both look pretty good in our own way. Being "big boned" is not detrimental to being attractive!0 -
I am looking at your before and after pic and I see that 50lbs lost. YOU LOOK GREAT. I used the BIG BONED thing too. My shoulder width, and my HEAD is actually huge so I definitely have some bigger bones but right now I am so happy with my journey I try to tune out the other people. It is hard to do... I KNOW... but focus on YOU and YOUR JOURNEY and you will figure it all out.
Congrats on what you have accomplished.0 -
At 6ft tall and large framed I have to lose at least 25 lbs before anyone even says, "Hey your face looks thinner...have you lost a COUPLE of pounds?" I wanna say "Are you freaking kidding me?" But I just smile sweetly and say, "Oh yeah, I lost a few." I am now at 36lbs lost and am getting the face thinner comments! I have about 80lbs more to go. I know I will never be rail thin (Kate Moss type) but I can be curvy (Tyra Banks type). But it's all good cause like my hubby says, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog!" :laugh:
I'm tempted to point out that if someone started saying "no one wants a cow but the butcher" there'd be outrage, and rightly so.
But I guess I won't.0 -
First of all congratulations, I saw your before and after pictures and I can definitely see the difference ... You need to be blind not to see it.
I am have a medium frame and my body type it's an inverted triangle ; I have wide shoulders , narrow hips, non existent waist ; I seem heavier than what I am because of it ...I look top-heavy....It's sometimes frustrating not to be able to seem slimmer because of being so disproportionate...so I get you from your you are coming from... But I keep going , and enjoying the journey for what it is ...discovery, self awareness , wellness and healthy living.0 -
At 6ft tall and large framed I have to lose at least 25 lbs before anyone even says, "Hey your face looks thinner...have you lost a COUPLE of pounds?" I wanna say "Are you freaking kidding me?" But I just smile sweetly and say, "Oh yeah, I lost a few." I am now at 36lbs lost and am getting the face thinner comments! I have about 80lbs more to go. I know I will never be rail thin (Kate Moss type) but I can be curvy (Tyra Banks type). But it's all good cause like my hubby says, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog!" :laugh:
That's not a very nice thing to say. Just like you are naturally larger framed, plenty of women have small frames. There's no reason to insult them like that.
He's not referring to small frames,,,,,he's talking about being super under weight. It's just a sentiment he uses to encourage me when I am moaning about being overweight. There was never an intent to insult anyone.....
I understand the phrase, I hear it a lot as a size 2-4. It is insulting to many women, even if it's meant to make a person feel better. You don't have to bring down some women in order to lift others up.
I do have to agree with iLiftHeavy 100 fold.0 -
I totally see the difference if your profile pic is your before and after. Honestly I don't see you as "big boned" in the after pic. It's strange to me that people are saying that.
Don't worry about other people's opinions, it's all about how you feel and I hope you feel great because you certainly look awesome. Don't let it get you down. :flowerforyou:0 -
At 6ft tall and large framed I have to lose at least 25 lbs before anyone even says, "Hey your face looks thinner...have you lost a COUPLE of pounds?" I wanna say "Are you freaking kidding me?" But I just smile sweetly and say, "Oh yeah, I lost a few." I am now at 36lbs lost and am getting the face thinner comments! I have about 80lbs more to go. I know I will never be rail thin (Kate Moss type) but I can be curvy (Tyra Banks type). But it's all good cause like my hubby says, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog!" :laugh:
That's not a very nice thing to say. Just like you are naturally larger framed, plenty of women have small frames. There's no reason to insult them like that.
He's not referring to small frames,,,,,he's talking about being super under weight. It's just a sentiment he uses to encourage me when I am moaning about being overweight. There was never an intent to insult anyone.....
I understand the phrase, I hear it a lot as a size 2-4. It is insulting to many women, even if it's meant to make a person feel better. You don't have to bring down some women in order to lift others up.
I do have to agree with iLiftHeavy 100 fold.
yeah... why can't people just say they like a particular thing without putting someone else down in the process? I mean people can like more than one thing, right? As in if I say "I like strawberry ice cream" I don't have to say "I like strawberry ice cream, who likes that yucky chocolate one, bleargh!".... why not just "I like strawberry ice cream" without commenting on what flavours you don't like... or even (shock horror) "I like strawberry AND chocolate ice cream, and lots of other flavors, because variety is the spice of life".... only ice cream doesn't have feelings... but people do. Surely we can see the beauty in people who don't look the same as us or who aren't our type sexually? And appreciate the whole range of human variation....0 -
There is a big difference in the two pictures, no way people are not noticing. Are you close to your ideal weight yet? Could the comments mean you simply have a bit more to lose?0
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i've always been labeled "big boned" myself I'M 6'1". But to be completely honest, i just look at it as "its more to me to love" i;ve never cared about what people said to me or about e weigh wise or anything else. You have to believe in yourself and know that no matter what you are a beautiful person inside and out. there will always be a slimmer you and me inside and if its a slimmer you that you want to bring out then do it. Please dont let ignorant or innocent comments bring you to tears. people honestly dont know what to say or how hurtful words can be if they are not on the larger scale of things like you and i. Im here for you and keep your head up. we are on this journey together and anyone on MFP will say the same thing.... WE ARE HERE TO SUPPORT, UPLIFT, AND GUIDE ONE ANOTHER....0
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I can relate, I have had these comments my entire life. I am 5'4" and my mom is the same height, and if we're both wearing the same pair of size 6 pants, I have to be 130 lbs and she will weigh 155 lbs. She's tiny, has very little muscle mass, and her bones are smaller.
This doesn't mean you won't be slim. My #1 recommendation for you is to start lifting weights. I got down to a size 2 in pants by building muscle and lifting weights, it burned fat and made me more compact. This is when I was 18-20 years old. In the past 10 years I've let my fitness go and I'm trying to get back to where I was before.
Just don't let the comments derail you!!0 -
You look great, you are 19 lbs away from your goal, and some people really need to learn to practice the art of silence.0
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I have a borderline large frame, which I inherited from my paternal grandmother. There was no denying that she was a large woman- in height, build, and weight. However, while she spent her adult life morbidly obese, I've chosen a different lifestyle. While I may have her build, I'm fit, strong, and a size two. My body fat percentage and my skeletal frame are two different things. Don't worry about what other people think you should look like. Just focus on being healthy and fit.0
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My take on it is this----I'm 5'11" and have a large bone structure. If you know horses, there are Arabians and Thouroughbreds (thin bones), and there are Clydesdales and Shires (also gorgeous, but big boned). You need to take what you've been given and do your best with it. Improve yourself as much as you can and then be satisfied with who you are. Remember standing tall and proud, having a sparkle in your eye and carrying yourself well can add alot to your look. Nobody likes a gorgeous jerk. A smile on your face will do more than all the jewelry in the world.0
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For what it's worth, people probably don't notice the difference because they see you all the time. But if they saw a picture of you before, they'd probably be 'oh wow, yeah, you've lost a lot, I guess I haven't noticed because I see you all the time'.
For example, the other kids' mom from school never said anything until they saw me after Summer break, even though I had already lost 40 pounds before (and I only lost like 15 in those 3 months). It's just how it works.
Keep up the good work - and yes I agree, you seem to be a large frame too. You can still look slim.0 -
At 6ft tall and large framed I have to lose at least 25 lbs before anyone even says, "Hey your face looks thinner...have you lost a COUPLE of pounds?" I wanna say "Are you freaking kidding me?" But I just smile sweetly and say, "Oh yeah, I lost a few." I am now at 36lbs lost and am getting the face thinner comments! I have about 80lbs more to go. I know I will never be rail thin (Kate Moss type) but I can be curvy (Tyra Banks type). But it's all good cause like my hubby says, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog!" :laugh:
That's not a very nice thing to say. Just like you are naturally larger framed, plenty of women have small frames. There's no reason to insult them like that.
He's not referring to small frames,,,,,he's talking about being super under weight. It's just a sentiment he uses to encourage me when I am moaning about being overweight. There was never an intent to insult anyone.....
I understand the phrase, I hear it a lot as a size 2-4. It is insulting to many women, even if it's meant to make a person feel better. You don't have to bring down some women in order to lift others up.
I do have to agree with iLiftHeavy 100 fold.
yeah... why can't people just say they like a particular thing without putting someone else down in the process? I mean people can like more than one thing, right? As in if I say "I like strawberry ice cream" I don't have to say "I like strawberry ice cream, who likes that yucky chocolate one, bleargh!".... why not just "I like strawberry ice cream" without commenting on what flavours you don't like... or even (shock horror) "I like strawberry AND chocolate ice cream, and lots of other flavors, because variety is the spice of life".... only ice cream doesn't have feelings... but people do. Surely we can see the beauty in people who don't look the same as us or who aren't our type sexually? And appreciate the whole range of human variation....
I don't know why people do that. As I said, I'm pretty short and my cousins a couple of them are fairly tall. Model tall. For some strange reason we were able to point out one anothers beauty and most positive features without any of us feeling lesser? I have to wonder if these people who have to put down anyone that is the opposite of them to feel good about themselves came from families with zero physical variation? Does that even happen? I thought all families were filled with love and variety. I guess I might have been wrong.0 -
At 6ft tall and large framed I have to lose at least 25 lbs before anyone even says, "Hey your face looks thinner...have you lost a COUPLE of pounds?" I wanna say "Are you freaking kidding me?" But I just smile sweetly and say, "Oh yeah, I lost a few." I am now at 36lbs lost and am getting the face thinner comments! I have about 80lbs more to go. I know I will never be rail thin (Kate Moss type) but I can be curvy (Tyra Banks type). But it's all good cause like my hubby says, "Nobody wants a bone but a dog!" :laugh:
I'm tempted to point out that if someone started saying "no one wants a cow but the butcher" there'd be outrage, and rightly so.
But I guess I won't.
+10
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