Am I a horrible father?

13

Replies

  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Not a bad father. I would say, however, perhaps to help her develop her fitness level gradually... She is not up to your level yet. You don't want soreness and such to keep her from wanting to continue.
  • megan_elizabeth8
    megan_elizabeth8 Posts: 216 Member
    Think it's great as long as she's being taught that exercise is to be healthy, not for a good body :flowerforyou:
  • surfinbird_1981
    surfinbird_1981 Posts: 946 Member
    Sounds like a pretty good father to me

    + 1
  • runforestrun35
    runforestrun35 Posts: 480 Member
    No, definitely not a bad father, you are setting a healthy example for her and she learned already that it is not easy, but rewarding to exercise. :-)
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    I'll just leave this here


    http://youtu.be/G3LDnaWvDxw

    EDIT to add: I think it's awesome you are working out with your daughter, if the gym I went to allowed it my son and daughter would be lifting with me.
  • mncdk
    mncdk Posts: 30 Member
    If your kid likes to mimic you when you work out with athletic/bodyweight -type exercises, let her!
    She's enjoying quality time with her father, and she's improving her cardiovascular health, and probably getting stronger too. Being sore is just a part of the game, and if your wife is mad that "you made your daughters muscles sore", then wow.
    Would your wife be mad at you if you let your kid play ball all day, and then she had, like, sore calves the next day from all the running and playing? :P

    You are making choices that mean you will be around for longer, to support your daughter/kids/family through the good times and the bad. And you are spending quality time with your daughter. I don't see any negatives.
  • Jen800
    Jen800 Posts: 548 Member
    A little exercise never killed a kid.

    In fact, today kids will/are dying because of obesity and NOT exercising.

    what's up with your wife?
  • Fat2FitMyDrive
    Fat2FitMyDrive Posts: 83 Member
    Thanks for the great replies everyone. I don't think my wife is being anything more than a concerned mom. When her baby girl is complaining about her tummy hurting mom's instinct is to metaphorically smack dad in the back of the head like see what you did. I would never force any excersize on my children, but I'm not going to say no if she wants to continue to be a part of it. I usually workout in the gym, but occasionally do plyo at home when the gym is closed or when my wife is working and I am home with my girls. So, if I do this once or twice a week with her that would be the max.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    No, in fact, she'll run into this problem at school if she has to take gym class. When I was in elementary school, we started off every day with push ups, jumping jacks, and sit ups. There will also be fitness tests. It's good for her to work out with you.

    However, maybe encourage her to go easier next time, and to take more breaks. Have her rest up and if she wants to do it again, fine, but don't let her do the same amount until she builds up some endurance.

    I disagree... you don't need to tell kids when to rest... just tell her she can rest if she wants to. Kids are not fragile. They're also not stupid... as in if they're that tired they will rest. If she wanted to rest doing the exercises yesterday, she would have. She wasn't being forced and the OP said that he told her she could rest when she wanted to.

    If you make her rest when she doesn't want to, you'll be giving her the message that she's fragile and there's some danger from exercising, i.e. it'll make her be afraid to push herself in the future.

    As for the pain she's in today... just tell her if she keeps up exercising regularly, she'll get fitter, be able to do more without getting tired and it won't hurt so much the next day.
  • rollng_thundr
    rollng_thundr Posts: 634 Member
    Thanks for the great replies everyone. I don't think my wife is being anything more than a concerned mom. When her baby girl is complaining about her tummy hurting mom's instinct is to metaphorically smack dad in the back of the head like see what you did. I would never force any excersize on my children, but I'm not going to say no if she wants to continue to be a part of it. I usually workout in the gym, but occasionally do plyo at home when the gym is closed or when my wife is working and I am home with my girls. So, if I do this once or twice a week with her that would be the max.

    Seriously, sounds like your wife could use as much education about exercise and effects as your daughter does. I'm mystified why she would be upset with you for spending quality time with your daughter, and sharing healthy habits as well.

    *shrug*
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Thanks for the great replies everyone. I don't think my wife is being anything more than a concerned mom. When her baby girl is complaining about her tummy hurting mom's instinct is to metaphorically smack dad in the back of the head like see what you did. I would never force any excersize on my children, but I'm not going to say no if she wants to continue to be a part of it. I usually workout in the gym, but occasionally do plyo at home when the gym is closed or when my wife is working and I am home with my girls. So, if I do this once or twice a week with her that would be the max.

    you can let her exercise as much as she wants to. you're clearly not pushing her, you don't need to limit her to only x number of days a week... limiting her is like giving her the message that she's fragile and can only take so much... kids are not going to run themselves into exhaustion of their own accord... they will stop when they are tired, they will take rest days when they need them. when I was a kid I played outdoors pretty much all day every day (except when at school) including running, playing etc... plus I went to judo classes and brownie guides in the evenings (brownies involved active/running games plus walking through the countryside and plenty of outdoor activities in the summer) .
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Thanks for the great replies everyone. I don't think my wife is being anything more than a concerned mom. When her baby girl is complaining about her tummy hurting mom's instinct is to metaphorically smack dad in the back of the head like see what you did. I would never force any excersize on my children, but I'm not going to say no if she wants to continue to be a part of it. I usually workout in the gym, but occasionally do plyo at home when the gym is closed or when my wife is working and I am home with my girls. So, if I do this once or twice a week with her that would be the max.

    Seriously, sounds like your wife could use as much education about exercise and effects as your daughter does. I'm mystified why she would be upset with you for spending quality time with your daughter, and sharing healthy habits as well.

    *shrug*

    same... I find it strange that people would think that exercise that kids want to do could be bad for kids... I spent half my life outdoors as a kid, and most of that time we were running around, riding bikes or fighting or climbing trees or playing football or cricket... I think there's a big danger of giving kids the idea that exercise can somehow, mystically, damage them if they do too much... it's not like anyone's forcing them to work down coal mines or up chimneys all day any more... we're talking about physical activities that they enjoy and want to do, in a safe environment, with an appropriate level of adult supervision... they'll stop and take a rest when their bodies need a rest

    ETA: OP to answer your question - you're far from terrible, sounds like you're a great dad. You're setting a really good example to your daughter by exercising, and now she wants to join in because you set a good example to her, so you let her, had lots of fun together... so *keep it up* .... and you have the balance right, i.e. being supporting and encouraging, but not forcing her.
  • NerdySamoan
    NerdySamoan Posts: 78
    not terrible at all.

    whenever my kids fight or argue i punish them with burpees

    20 for aurguing
    50 for swearing
    100 if they hit one another.

    I once made my nephew do 200 because 100 was too easy for him after a few weeks.

    I ended up stpping this method as they started to view exercise as punishment and started to hate sports training.
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    My 7 year old daughter decided yesterday that she wanted to excersize with me. I did just a mild set consisting of jumping jacks, running man's, seal jumping jacks, crunches, bicycles kicks, and I did some burpees which she was intriqued by and did them with me. She mimicked me and had a blast doing it. Today she says her stomach hurts (abs) and my wife is all ticked off at me for letting her do the workout with me. I didn't force her to she just wanted to do it with me. Is this terrible? I don't think so, but I guess I could be wrong.

    No. Whats terrible is your wifes reaction. Its a shame to think that some physical activity would be detrimental to your child. If your daughter is sore (which I dont ever recall being sore as a child) I dont think that its a good thing. It speaks to her normal activity level and Id say she needs more of it. So if it were me, I would feel terrible that my kid wasnt being active enough. So ;ets see what happens next.

    1. I hope you daughter continues to take an interest in being active with her dad and isnt discouraged by being sore. Its only temporary if you keep it up.
    2. Is the mom going to discourage her from "working out" (sounds like it wasnt anything she would get on a playground)?
  • Always_Belle
    Always_Belle Posts: 73 Member
    I don't think so but then again, my kids have loved to exercise with me from the time they were mere babes. I'm sure your daughter is fine, as she probably just used muscles she doesn't usually use. IMO, it is always good for children to not only watch their parents and if they choose to imitate, having their parents there to assist in proper form and technique will only help them in their future quests of health and fitness.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Some of my earliest happy memories are of exercising along side my father.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    No, in fact, she'll run into this problem at school if she has to take gym class. When I was in elementary school, we started off every day with push ups, jumping jacks, and sit ups. There will also be fitness tests. It's good for her to work out with you.

    However, maybe encourage her to go easier next time, and to take more breaks. Have her rest up and if she wants to do it again, fine, but don't let her do the same amount until she builds up some endurance.

    Or, if it'll make your wife feel better, suggest she work out differently than you. Find a kid's version of a workout, and she can do hers while you do yours. It'll make her feel included, while at the same time keeping it more age specified.

    +1
  • ChristineinMA
    ChristineinMA Posts: 312 Member
    I am impressed that she stuck with it long enough to actually get sore LOL.

    That being said my 5 yr old has the right idea, although we won't mention his technique :happy:, in doing the basic exercises, ie: jumping jacks, push ups, even squats. When he wants to exercise with me I let him be the "trainer" he picks the exercises we do. Some of them turn out to be pretty silly but we have a blast doing it.

    I love this idea!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,035 Member
    My 7 year old daughter decided yesterday that she wanted to excersize with me. I did just a mild set consisting of jumping jacks, running man's, seal jumping jacks, crunches, bicycles kicks, and I did some burpees which she was intriqued by and did them with me. She mimicked me and had a blast doing it. Today she says her stomach hurts (abs) and my wife is all ticked off at me for letting her do the workout with me. I didn't force her to she just wanted to do it with me. Is this terrible? I don't think so, but I guess I could be wrong.
    Lol, isn't this normal in marriage!:laugh:
    She's sore like anyone else who tries new exercise. She'll be fine. Kids are resilient and bounce back fast.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ginagera
    ginagera Posts: 4 Member
    Quite the opposite! The fact that you are SHOWING your daughter how to be healthy, and spending some great quality time with her to boot, is a wonderful thing that all of us need to do. At 7 she may already be part of a sports team (soccer, gymnastics, etc.) in which her coach is running her through a bunch of exercises as well. My daughter is the same age and they do almost 20 minutes of rather difficult strength and cardio for endurance. What you're doing is no different and will make her a healthier, happier young girl who feels loved to boot!
    Great job!
  • GillaMahogany
    GillaMahogany Posts: 133
    Sounds like your wife should exercise with both you and your daughter next time!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    You are a wonderful father! Not a horrible father.
  • frannieshack
    frannieshack Posts: 327 Member
    As long as she was having fun, and you weren't playing "boot camp". I like the poster above who said to make it up to your wife and play barbies with her for a little while, or set up a tea party for the three of you.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    i wish my parents had modelled exercise for me. :cry:
  • Fat2FitMyDrive
    Fat2FitMyDrive Posts: 83 Member
    She had a field day today at school and had a blast she was showing other kids in her class how to do burpees! I think she is hooked, again thank you so much for all the positive replies! I'll keep showing her the ropes as long as she is interested and wants to continue. Mom will come around I'm sure!
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    She had a field day today at school and had a blast she was showing other kids in her class how to do burpees! I think she is hooked, again thank you so much for all the positive replies! I'll keep showing her the ropes as long as she is interested and wants to continue. Mom will come around I'm sure!

    Good for her!

    THAT IS AWESOME!
  • bbb84
    bbb84 Posts: 418 Member
    And that's difference between people born in the 80's or before and kids today.... when we were kids we were outside running around all the time. Playing on swings, climbing trees, jump the creek, kickball etc... we didn't slow down long enough to be sore. We didn't die from physical activity ! It's healthy ! Were there times i was sore as a kid, yes of course i was an athlete and i was the kind kid who would run til i puked then run some more because that's what coach told me to do. I was a pitcher and i also caught , there were times of soreness and there were also times for recovery too. Not enough kids are encouraged to be active, so props to you !!! Not to mention what better way to spend quality time with your daughter than doing something that can be fun and healthy ??
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    This is no different than what gym class used to be in school before it got sissyfied. Your daughter's working muscles she isn't used to. It's good for her and since the schools don't do a proper gym class anymore it's up to parents.
  • bbb84
    bbb84 Posts: 418 Member
    This is no different than what gym class used to be in school before it got sissyfied. Your daughter's working muscles she isn't used to. It's good for her and since the schools don't do a proper gym class anymore it's up to parents.

    ^^^^^^
    This!!
  • Fat2FitMyDrive
    Fat2FitMyDrive Posts: 83 Member
    I just got home from work and asked her about the field day because I wasn't there mom was and she was so excited to tell me how she was teaching her friends to do burpees. She said her tummy bothers her a little, but she's fine. I agree with a couple of the statements made regarding our childhoods. I was always outside. Spent days playing basketball, playing in the woods, catching frogs, roller blading, riding my bike, etc etc. It was nothing for me to venture 3-4 miles from my house and sorely walk home my feet and legs on fire only to do it all over again the next day. Sure I broke a few bones in the process, got some stitches, and even found myself in a little trouble now and again, but shoot I had an awesome childhood OUTSIDE!

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