RANT POST: I am NOT too skinny!

NidiaG24

I just need to vent a little. I am soooooo DAMN tired of ppl telling me I need to stop working out because I am already skinny. I am 176 lbs and 6 feet tall. It took me so long to be OK with myself and my "skinny" size when my entire family was big. There was something always wrong with me because I can't gain or keep weight on. These people are sounding like I am a size 0. I went from a size 12 to almost an 8. I am loving the fact that I see abs coming out, I see my core and arms are stronger. My calf is not jiggly and my Butt... my butt is uplifted. WHAT does these ppl want from me!. I am doing this for me not for them......... Grrrrrrr! (continuing rant offline)

TavistockToad

stop caring so much what other people think!

kirili3

Tell them that you're just trying to be healthy and you're going about it your own way, maybe say it with a bit of a bite so they know to back off. Or just keep changing the subject until they get the hint.

If all else fails, just tell them that we should all mind our bodies and, as long as we're healthy, no comments.

The best thing is if you can make it funny. When my relatives ask me when I'm going to get married (where I'm from, people think it's better to have a proposal rather than marry for love) I laugh and tell them that nonsense is not for me and generally mock the issue until they back off.

I don't know how to do that about weight without hurting people though!

corgicake

If someone can't stop talking about poor them and you have what they want, all you have to do is come around warm and breathing for them to get their knickers in a bunch. Sad but true.

RodaRose

You are doing great. Do not engage. Give them only vague answers. Eventually, some of them will back off.

animatorswearbras

Since you aren't underweight the only thing I can assume is that it's code language for either "stop getting hotter" or "I am the sort of person that reflects on my own failure when someone else has success rather than being inspired by it"

Either way it's not you it's them, they are projecting their insecurities on you and there's not alot you can do, apart from to say I'm not "skinny" I'm just getting healthier.

Or since they are using the word "skinny" which sounds like a body shaming insult to me compared to saying slim or trim tell them to eff off. lol ;P

einzweidrei

I hear the same thing all of the time. I think I've heard it from everyone. The last person I saw (that I hadn't seen in awhile) told me he hopes that I gain some weight back when I go on vacation.

To be fair, I get it---because I have a medium-sized frame and I look kind of bony---I fall on the bottom end of the BMI chart now. But still. I'm not underweight and I like were I am.

amusedmonkey

Oh people simply don't like change. I was told not too long ago "you look great now that you have lost a lot of weight, but I don't think you should be losing any more because you would look sickly" and I'm a 168 (5'6) and 103kg (227)! I laughed it off and moved on.

jec285

Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.

MelissaPhippsFeagins

I have a couple of co-workers like this. I finally said in front of both them: "I am not starving myself. I eat whatever I want, just less of it than I used to and since I"m not asking you to do it or exercise with me, it's really not your place to talk about it."

kmorgan221

I'd just tell them, "I'd rather not be fat, like you."

Hey, if they think they can insult you, give it back to them.

__Di__

I just need to vent a little. I am soooooo DAMN tired of ppl telling me I need to stop working out because I am already skinny. I am 176 lbs and 6 feet tall. It took me so long to be OK with myself and my "skinny" size when my entire family was big. There was something always wrong with me because I can't gain or keep weight on. These people are sounding like I am a size 0. I went from a size 12 to almost an 8. I am loving the fact that I see abs coming out, I see my core and arms are stronger. My calf is not jiggly and my Butt... my butt is uplifted. WHAT does these ppl want from me!. I am doing this for me not for them......... Grrrrrrr! (continuing rant offline)

Tell them you aren't actually working out to get thin, you work out to keep fit, therefore if you were to suddenly stop as per their "advice" you would end up unfit and that would contradict your own aims.

Basically, you are telling them to mind their own bloody business, but in a way that should shut them up lol.

They obviously haven't a clue otherwise they would not make such comments.

animatorswearbras

Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.

To be fair "stop working out you're too skinny" isn't really a clumsy compliment, it's a guilt trip/accusation as much as "stop eating, you're too heavy" would be.

"you look skinny" or "wow look at you twiggy" or "work those curves" are more clumsy compliments. She's got fair reason to be pee'd off and MFP forums is an appropriate place to vent. *shrugs*

ValGogo

People are dumb. You're really tall and you are 176. That's perfect. You're a size 8. THAT's perfect to me. You are thin, not skinny. Eff them all. And tell them to keep their opinions to themselves, even if they are close family.

When I was a size 12 my mom would say stupid *kitten* like that. Latin moms; what are you gonna do. If you're not fat, you're not normal.

Drives me bananas.

ValGogo

I have a couple of co-workers like this. I finally said in front of both them: "I am not starving myself. I eat whatever I want, just less of it than I used to and since I"m not asking you to do it or exercise with me, it's really not your place to talk about it."

That's a good one!

jec285

Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.

To be fair "stop working out you're too skinny" isn't really a clumsy compliment, it's a guilt trip/accusation as much as "stop eating, you're too heavy" would be.

"you look skinny" or "wow look at you twiggy" or "work those curves" are more clumsy compliments. She's got fair reason to be pee'd off and MFP forums is an appropriate place to vent. *shrugs*

Maybe I just don't get why any formerly fat person would get upset over people calling them skinny. There are a lot worse things in life, being upset over someone thinking you're skinny is kind of silly.

meganjcallaghan

I had someone go on for about 5 minutes yesterday about how I look ill and they are seriously concerned about my health. Pretty sure it was code talk for ''if you don't have cancer as an excuse you must be anorexic and you need help". I'm 5'6.5" and 145 pounds. puhleeeeeease.

stealthq

Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.

To be fair "stop working out you're too skinny" isn't really a clumsy compliment, it's a guilt trip/accusation as much as "stop eating, you're too heavy" would be.

"you look skinny" or "wow look at you twiggy" or "work those curves" are more clumsy compliments. She's got fair reason to be pee'd off and MFP forums is an appropriate place to vent. *shrugs*

That would depend on the delivery and the person. I've gotten this before and it was most certainly meant to be a compliment. To some people, being skinny can only be a positive thing and they don't understand why you would be offended. They also don't understand why anyone would work out if they didn't want to get skinnier. Exercising purely for fitness isn't really on their mental radar.

katiiee2708

People dont understand what you see in the mirror, you look fine but you do need to stop listening to others. Just do a fake, sarcastic smile :laugh:

a_stronger_me13

Without knowing much about your eating and workouts, I'll just throw it out there that sometimes these comments are more directed towards habits than appearance. Drastic restrictive diets, comments you may make about what you're eating or what others are eating and excessive amounts of exercise can lead to some concern.

But, if you're not doing any of that, sometimes other people achieving health and aesthetic goals makes others uncomfortable and they try to justify their own mediocrity. Try to brush it off as best as you can and if they are close friends and family, let them know that the comments they make are rude and make you feel uncomfortable.

JamesonEqualsLard

Since you aren't underweight the only thing I can assume is that it's code language for either "stop getting hotter" or "I am the sort of person that reflects on my own failure when someone else has success rather than being inspired by it"

Either way it's not you it's them, they are projecting their insecurities on you and there's not alot you can do, apart from to say I'm not "skinny" I'm just getting healthier.

Or since they are using the word "skinny" which sounds like a body shaming insult to me compared to saying slim or trim tell them to eff off. lol ;P

Winning answer!

ninja8tofu

I had someone go on for about 5 minutes yesterday about how I look ill and they are seriously concerned about my health. Pretty sure it was code talk for ''if you don't have cancer as an excuse you must be anorexic and you need help". I'm 5'6.5" and 145 pounds. puhleeeeeease.

I had someone at my Mom's work just tell me this the other day. I had stopped in to drop something off and her co-worker says, without any prompting or conversation, "Wow, you should stop right now, you are getting too thin." Seriously, I'm 5'4" and 146 lbs.

chezjuan

I get his from some people, mainly friends that I made who never new me at less than 230 lbs (I'm 170 now). People who either knew me when I was in my twenties, or who just met me don't see a problem.

I generally tell them that I eat more now to maintain my weight at 170 than I used to when I was 250, and that does the trick.

FoodFitnessTravel

and neither am i!

40andFindingFitness

Since you aren't underweight the only thing I can assume is that it's code language for either "stop getting hotter" or "I am the sort of person that reflects on my own failure when someone else has success rather than being inspired by it"

Yup, this. ^^

VampireDiariesxo

Just my 2 cents: I had people telling me I was getting too skinny. I'm 5'4" and back then I was 120 lbs. (I had dropped down from 200 lbs) I used to take progress pictures (and still do) and even without the progress pictures I always used to think why other people couldn't see the excess flab that I could see when I looked in the mirror. I mean I knew I had gotten slimmer but I didn't think my body was ideal. I've gained 30 lbs since then and I'm actually glad I did as I've had a look at those pictures from when I was 120 lbs and tbh I looked good, in fact my body was hot. I think looking at it now when I'm heavier has made me see what other people were seeing. At the moment I'm 150 lbs but I'm one of those people that never look their weight so I look like I'm lighter. I don't have a goal weight anymore and no longer focus on that as I lift heavy and know a small fraction of those 30 lbs gained is muscle. I'd be happy at 130 - 140 lbs with decent muscle definition. Back then I had an unhealthy weight obsession with wanting to get down to 110 lbs. Gaining weight has made me take a step back and realise that maybe other people were right. Yes some people make comments because they're jealous, but sometimes it may be because they care and are just worried. If you think about it, how we see ourselves is different to how others see us. I now know that if I was to get down to about 130 lbs, I'd look better than how I was at 120 lbs. My mum is still worried about me but now it's more to do with the misconception that I'm suddenly going to grow big bulky muscles from weightlifting lol.

PJPrimrose

I just need to vent a little. I am soooooo DAMN tired of ppl telling me I need to stop working out because I am already skinny. I am 176 lbs and 6 feet tall. It took me so long to be OK with myself and my "skinny" size when my entire family was big. There was something always wrong with me because I can't gain or keep weight on. These people are sounding like I am a size 0. I went from a size 12 to almost an 8. I am loving the fact that I see abs coming out, I see my core and arms are stronger. My calf is not jiggly and my Butt... my butt is uplifted. WHAT does these ppl want from me!. I am doing this for me not for them......... Grrrrrrr! (continuing rant offline)

Part of the problem is your height. Every time I tell someone who refers to me as "really skinny" that I'm 145lbs (light for me) they say "No way" every time! Being taller (I'm only 5'9") apparently makes you look really thin. IDK why. Longer arms and legs maybe?

lisalsd1

Sometimes skinny is a compliment...sometimes it is an insult. Either way, you don't sound like you are at an unhealthy weight or size to me.

My grandmother told me once to stop losing weight, b/c it was making my "face look weird!" I told her that that's just what my face looks like! Oh well, what can you do?

mccindy72

It's difficult in our society for people to see other people's success and be happy about it. Snarky becomes a way of life. The people with nicer clothes and cars and accessories become a target for snarky comments, and so do those who appear to be successful with weight loss and fitness when everyone else is not. That's really the heart of it, in American society.
This becomes a problem when people speak without thinking. making comments about someone becoming too thin without knowing why can lead a person to foot-in-mouth syndrome. I'm struggling a bit to keep my weight at a healthy level myself recently because my cancer has made it difficult for me to eat many of the foods that will help me maintain my weight. Recent stress caused me to lose a few pounds and I haven't been able to gain them back. I've had a few people make comments within earshot about how skinny I am and how I should "go eat a cheeseburger" and that type of thing. I don't say anything but I can imagine the people who are judging simply based on appearance would feel bad if they knew it was cancer making me thin.

segovm

When I was in my twenties and healthy I was EXTREMELY lean and folks used to say that stuff to me all the time. I had a black belt in TaeKwonDo, abs that could stop a semi truck, jumped out of planes on weekends and mountain biked up 25 mile mountains in the hardest gear...

I thought they were funny, sitting there eating their doughnuts and giving me advice about fitness. I tried not to laugh in their face but sometimes it was hard to avoid.

ChristineRoze

I'm still losing weight, and already get told I'm too skinny.. I've just started to take it as a compliment because it means i look different and after all skinny is attractive in my opinion.