RANT POST: I am NOT too skinny!
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just jealous they are still fat and you are looking smashing, that's all it is lol0
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Since you aren't underweight the only thing I can assume is that it's code language for either "stop getting hotter" or "I am the sort of person that reflects on my own failure when someone else has success rather than being inspired by it"
Either way it's not you it's them, they are projecting their insecurities on you and there's not alot you can do, apart from to say I'm not "skinny" I'm just getting healthier.
Or since they are using the word "skinny" which sounds like a body shaming insult to me compared to saying slim or trim tell them to eff off. lol ;P
I agree with this
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You look great, and it doesn't matter what they think, it matters what you think!0
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I think it's meant to be a (misguided) validation, not an insult. Many people associate things like exercise or counting calories as being a negative or painful thing, not something that they themselves would enjoy doing.
Sooooo...they incorrectly assume that if you are doing these painful/negative things that you must really dislike your body or have self esteem issues.
So when they give you permission to stop exercising/dieting, because you are too skinny...they are really trying to say "I'm sorry that you do this crazy thing, I really think you look great! You can stop punishing yourself now."
So, just smile and say "Thanks! But I really enjoy my gym time, it gives me confidence, I feel so much better....ect, ect, ect," I guarantee you they will say "Well I could never do what you do!"0 -
I've lost 65 pounds since September, {242-177} so there is a pretty drastic change in my appearance. Several of my customers, older ladies for the most part, have ask if I was sick, was that the reason for the weight loss. After the first couple of times I always say I was sick of being fat. Then I go on to tell them how hard I have worked at it. After that they tell me how good I look. But with these ladies I think they were truly concerned. They just don't know many people who eat less and exercise on purpose.0
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Unless you're an obsessive exerciser or severely restrict calories your new thin body is so much healthier. Not many people die from being thin alone, unless they actually have an eating disorder. Healthy thin is,well, healthy!0
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It doesn't matter what other people think. Let it go and just be happy with you.I just need to vent a little. I am soooooo DAMN tired of ppl telling me I need to stop working out because I am already skinny. I am 176 lbs and 6 feet tall. It took me so long to be OK with myself and my "skinny" size when my entire family was big. There was something always wrong with me because I can't gain or keep weight on. These people are sounding like I am a size 0. I went from a size 12 to almost an 8. I am loving the fact that I see abs coming out, I see my core and arms are stronger. My calf is not jiggly and my Butt... my butt is uplifted. WHAT does these ppl want from me!. I am doing this for me not for them......... Grrrrrrr! (continuing rant offline)0 -
I can see where that would be annoying. You got to look at the source where the comments are coming from. If the people that are saying this is overweight then there you go.0
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I literally can relate to this on so many levels. I am a little underweight but far from living an active lifestyle, and I'm trying eat as well as possible.I get kinda irritated when people are like "why are you eating a salad? you're sooooo skinny you could eat whatever you want" like I just don't even bother explaining myself anymore. People can be so nosy, and think you're almost like not allowed to be fit and healthy because you're already at a good weight. It can get annoying for sure!0
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I think it's meant to be a (misguided) validation, not an insult. Many people associate things like exercise or counting calories as being a negative or painful thing, not something that they themselves would enjoy doing.
Sooooo...they incorrectly assume that if you are doing these painful/negative things that you must really dislike your body or have self esteem issues.
So when they give you permission to stop exercising/dieting, because you are too skinny...they are really trying to say "I'm sorry that you do this crazy thing, I really think you look great! You can stop punishing yourself now."
So, just smile and say "Thanks! But I really enjoy my gym time, it gives me confidence, I feel so much better....ect, ect, ect," I guarantee you they will say "Well I could never do what you do!"
So true, this is actually helpful!0 -
Same! It makes so much senseSince you aren't underweight the only thing I can assume is that it's code language for either "stop getting hotter" or "I am the sort of person that reflects on my own failure when someone else has success rather than being inspired by it"
Either way it's not you it's them, they are projecting their insecurities on you and there's not alot you can do, apart from to say I'm not "skinny" I'm just getting healthier.
Or since they are using the word "skinny" which sounds like a body shaming insult to me compared to saying slim or trim tell them to eff off. lol ;P
I agree with this0 -
I have had a few people who have told me to stop dieting... and I did... I started working out...
Weight lifting and now I eat more... but I am getting the classic V shape.. and i'm starting to have to wear bigger shirts because of my arms...
Maybe... they are trying to tell you to stop doing so much cardio and start becoming stronger... and grow bigger muscles.0 -
I wonder if it's because 3/4 of everybody else they see is fat, and people just have no idea what healthy looks like anymore?0
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stop caring so much what other people think!
^yeah exactly.. o_0
if anything tell them your hoping they get healthy themselves.0 -
Personally, I think these are probably the types of friends who would love to sabotage your weight loss efforts. I have a couple of friends like this....they'd be happier if I was still sitting around with them chowing down on mozzarella sticks and pie!0
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Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.
To be fair "stop working out you're too skinny" isn't really a clumsy compliment, it's a guilt trip/accusation as much as "stop eating, you're too heavy" would be.
"you look skinny" or "wow look at you twiggy" or "work those curves" are more clumsy compliments. She's got fair reason to be pee'd off and MFP forums is an appropriate place to vent. *shrugs*
Exactly. It's no different than saying "Go eat a cheeseburger". If it or what the OP hears are 'compliments', they're backhanded ones.0 -
I'd just tell them, "I'd rather not be fat, like you."
Hey, if they think they can insult you, give it back to them.
THIS!!!! They're just haters...there's no need to be polite to them when they obviously are not being polite or respectful to you!0 -
I tend to run into this problem, too when I get close to my goal weight. I carry my weight in a way that makes me look "too thin" when in fact I still have a lot of work to do in the midsection and other areas.
Just forget what they think. They may not be used to the "new you"... Give it some time and no one will think anything about it.0 -
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND DON'T GET DISCOURAGED.0
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Not even getting into why they have to say what they say.
What matters is you are healthy and happy with your body, your doctor gives you a clean bill of health.
Just tell them that and maybe suggest they take a trip to the doctor to check their fat/cholesterol/fitness levels because the ideal weight they think is healthy may not be that healthy after all.0 -
You are perfect!
This is what I often hear from family: " you are so LUCKY to have a fast metabolism" and "look at her! It's not FAIR."
Ha! If only they knew!0 -
Some people just don't know how to convey a compliment appropriately, there is no need to be upset.
To be fair "stop working out you're too skinny" isn't really a clumsy compliment, it's a guilt trip/accusation as much as "stop eating, you're too heavy" would be.
"you look skinny" or "wow look at you twiggy" or "work those curves" are more clumsy compliments. She's got fair reason to be pee'd off and MFP forums is an appropriate place to vent. *shrugs*
That would depend on the delivery and the person. I've gotten this before and it was most certainly meant to be a compliment. To some people, being skinny can only be a positive thing and they don't understand why you would be offended. They also don't understand why anyone would work out if they didn't want to get skinnier. Exercising purely for fitness isn't really on their mental radar.
^^^ I think this is correct...... a lot of people think that the only reason to exercise is to get thinner. And they think being called "skinny" is a compliment (which it is a lot of the time... although I think words like "slim" or "slender" are much nicer and if you want to give someone a compliment for looking slim, then say slim or slender, not skinny).
And I agree very much that whether something is a compliment or an insult or banter depends far more on tone of voice, body language, etc than it does on what's actually said. So it's really impossible to judge on an internet forum when someone says something like "so and so said
to me" whether it's an insult or not because we weren't there. A lot of what gets posted on here as things said that are supposed to be insults, don't come across as insulting to me, more as slightly awkward compliments or innocent comments that are a little lacking in tact... but there's an extremely fine line between an awkward compliment and a sly insult, and the difference is in the tone of voice, body language, the look in their eyes, etc, not the words. And then there's banter, which is a completely different issue... there are many things said to me in banter by friends that would be an extreme insult coming from a total stranger. (I'm from London where banter and taking the p*** is a form of social bonding).0 -
Two years ago I lost 5 pounds. A family member first told me how amazing i looked and then told me that everyone was worried about me (it was actually a long and difficult conversation, but I think she was drinking). I just saw her again (two years later) and she finally realizes that I am the same size for two years, same size I always was, healthy. Whatever...family is challenging to deal with in many many ways.0
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You are perfect!
This is what I often hear from family: " you are so LUCKY to have a fast metabolism" and "look at her! It's not FAIR."
Ha! If only they knew!
Well at least mine will never tell me that, as they've seen me before, lol.0 -
if it makes you feel any better im 5"9 and 1330
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I hate the phrase, "you don't need to lose any more weight."
Unless it comes from your doctor, or MAYBE your significant other, just ignore it. Nobody knows what is best for you, except you.
The problem only arises if you do have any eating disorder or something of the like. So... I'd give yourself two qualifications for that... If your bmi is under 22 and people hold an intervention, then maybe listen. Otherwise... Screw em.0 -
I think it happens to everyone. People told me when I should stop losing weight and I nodded and ignored them. I was annoyed that they thought my weight was their business.
You've mentioned that some of your family members are larger... Now I am not saying this as fact but your achievement may be shining a light on something that they know they need to do and their comments are coming from a defensive place. Sometimes it is that people are simply not accustomed to see you so slim and it's odd. That's an area of growth for them. If you are able to vocalise it without starting world war 3 let them know that you have your own goals which you are happily pursuing. Otherwise just say nothing and keep being healthy :-))0 -
Urgh not only do I hate people giving their unsolicited opinion on what I look like / what I should look like, but even more than that I hate the assumption that everyone works out to be skinny or lose weight!
I have 2 options you could try:
1) Don't talk to anyone about your workouts/diet/lifestyle. If they bring it up, change the subject. The best way to not get unwanted comments, is by not letting the issue be raised.
2) If it does come up (sometimes it does) just tell them you're not doing it to lose weight. Tell them you're doing it for fitness, or strength...anything that's not aesthetic (even if you do have aesthetic goals)0 -
I'd just tell them, "I'd rather not be fat, like you."
Hey, if they think they can insult you, give it back to them.
LOL!! I get it all the time too. I just throw their unhealthy lifestyle back at them. You look awesome! Keep doing what you are doing.0 -
People are dumb. You're really tall and you are 176. That's perfect. You're a size 8. THAT's perfect to me. You are thin, not skinny. Eff them all. And tell them to keep their opinions to themselves, even if they are close family.
When I was a size 12 my mom would say stupid *kitten* like that. Latin moms; what are you gonna do. If you're not fat, you're not normal.
Drives me bananas.
Im hispanic and my mom never commented on weight. But other women in my family would. I was very skinny growing up. And they would always say. U need some food. Now most of them are getting surgery to lose weight. Im trying to lose my baby fat but I would not tell any of them you are too fat or you are too skinny.
I really do not understand why people like to put others down.
I used to be so self conscious of being skinny when I was young. I hated it. Because I did not have the big booty and hips. Im guessing that mindset also discourages many hispanic women to eat more and not exercise because its looked down upon to be thin. Just my experiences growing up.0
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