Cheat meal vs. indulgence

totaldetermination

I experience the same challenge.

Its no so much the fact that I eat the cookie that is the problem.
Some days I decide that I will allow myself to have a cookie. I eat the cookie, and enjoy it. I then feel comfortable with that decision. no problem. This is what I call a 'cheat'.

The issue is that sometimes I don't make a conscious decision to eat the cookie - the temptation is too much for me to resist so I eat it without being in control. To me, this is a problem.

Although I allow myself cheat snacks almost everyday, they are all things that can be purchased in single portion size packaging. I buy them each day. If I bought a pack of cookies and left them at home, it would be challenging for me to eat just one a day.

I've been on MFP for about 7 weeks and at this stage my focus is to keep losing weight, so I do not want to challenge myself in this way. I know, however, that if I am going to maintain the weight that I lose, then 'control' is a skill I will need to develop. (Interestingly, I have no problem not buying the pack of cookies whilst in the supermarket. I could easily walk right past it.)

I think that it is about 'instant gratification' vs 'delayed gratification'.
You might want to read up on the Marshmallow Experiment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment), if you are not familiar with it.
Also this article offers some interesting tips.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=all

brando79az

I don't know if you are at your healthy weight but if you are over your healthy weight I think it would be more important to focus on calorie deficiency than to focus on nutruition. Nutrition is definitely important but there are so many greater health benefits to weight loss. If you are struggling to acheive "healthy weight" then keep your diet simple, keep your eye on the prize, and don't worry so much about nutrition (for now.) You neen protein to keep muscle so don't ONLY eat cookies lol but otherwise focus on calorie deficit, eat a multi-vitamin and enjoy yourself.

I just giggled because my trainer would have a stroke - LOL
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight and am far from a healthy weight.

Trying to get away from that all or nothing mentality - but I'm focused and sometimes that freaky OCD part of me helps with that - LOL

If it helps OCD to focus on all nutritional content then please do it... Whatever helps! It's so hard to stay focused as it is. Adding more stress to the heap seems unnecessary. Lose weight. Learn to eat healthy but once your nutritional goals are met (the right multi-vitamin and some protein powder will get you most the way there) the rest is gravy.

That being said, I am also focusing on weight loss and I do stress about my macros and I do try to eat balanced meals (I'm an ex-Zone diet fan) but those are just the cherry on top. At the end of the day I look to see if I had a calorie deficit.

BobOki

Diets are the things people go on when they want to fail.
Successful people go through life changes, they eat better, stay healthier etcetc but never turn off common sense.Common sense says you are not going to turn into a robot and never enjoy the fat foods again. it is not a weakness to give in to wants and desires, it's a weakness to think you can turn them off and still continue to win at your diet. Excuses, guilt, more excuses will follow as you slowly fail and then look down on yourself ofr no willpower etcetc. Plan on it, give yourself a cheat day. Enjoy the stuff you do in moderation. It will be good to throw your body a curve ball. Have that piece of pie, or that cookie. Moderation is the key on it, don't wake up saturday morning to a dozen donuts followed by a 12 pack and then McDonalds and dinner at the Sloppy Pig or something... but you have got to give yourself some of your pleasure foods or you start hating your lifestyle change... and it will fail.

Personally, we do either Fat Friday or Faturday every week, we do not log that day (but check in obviously.. dat streak!) and have ourselves a guilt free fun day. it helps us maintain the strength and resolve to NOT cheat the rest of the week, the life change never feels too restrictive or anything like that due to this, and it has not once got in the way of weight loss or maintain. Be healthy, be fit, but still enjoy life too

brando79az

Diets are the things people go on when they want to fail.

Per the Oxford Dictionary:
Diet = The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats:

mygnsac

I had to do the same thing. Figuring out why it seemed I just couldn't resist certain foods. My story is pretty extreme though as my highest (known) weight was 350 lbs. and it was crucial for me to learn why I ate the way I did. If there was a plate of homemade cookies in the house, my issue wasn't having one or two, it was having half the plate! The first time I walked past a box of doughnuts at the office, and didn't have that nagging feeling of deprivation, was a happy, empowering day for me. I still have the occassional treat, but they are mostly planned these days, and if I do have an unplanned treat, it's just a blip in my overall trend of healthy eating.

brando79az

I had to do the same thing. Figuring out why it seemed I just couldn't resist certain foods. My story is pretty extreme though as my highest (known) weight was 350 lbs. and it was crucial for me to learn why I ate the way I did. If there was a plate of homemade cookies in the house, my issue wasn't having one or two, it was having half the plate! The first time I walked past a box of doughnuts at the office, and didn't have that nagging feeling of deprivation, was a happy, empowering day for me. I still have the occassional treat, but they are mostly planned these days, and if I do have an unplanned treat, it's just a blip in my overall trend of healthy eating.

I hear ya man. My weakness is Nachos... or any form of "Chip" appetisers. I love chips. I would order nachos at a restaurant (for a meal) but the portion is enough for the entire table. I would finish the majority of the plate.

*Hangs head in shame

ohiotubagal

You just have to figure out what's worth it to you, and everyone has different foods and answers to that, and it may change from day to day. The fact that you worked it off says a lot about your determination. Don't worry too much about this.

Totally this! When I am tempted to overeat stuff that isn't in my plan for the day, I like to think about how long I would have to run in order to burn it off.

brando79az

One of my fabulous MFP friends told me when I started that there's no such thing as bad food. It's only whether it was worth it or not. Some things are (like my glass of wine) and some things aren't (like the fig newtons I loved). You just have to figure out what's worth it to you, and everyone has different foods and answers to that, and it may change from day to day. The fact that you worked it off says a lot about your determination. Don't worry too much about this.

Love this advice. The most on-target and succinct advice I read in these forums. You are my hero.

stealthq

I don't know if you are at your healthy weight but if you are over your healthy weight I think it would be more important to focus on calorie deficiency than to focus on nutruition. Nutrition is definitely important but there are so many greater health benefits to weight loss. If you are struggling to acheive "healthy weight" then keep your diet simple, keep your eye on the prize, and don't worry so much about nutrition (for now.) You neen protein to keep muscle so don't ONLY eat cookies lol but otherwise focus on calorie deficit, eat a multi-vitamin and enjoy yourself.

I just giggled because my trainer would have a stroke - LOL
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight and am far from a healthy weight.

Trying to get away from that all or nothing mentality - but I'm focused and sometimes that freaky OCD part of me helps with that - LOL

Just something to consider, but when you subconsciously think that you shouldn't do X, or you can't do Y it often makes X and Y more difficult to resist. I think you should have a plan for what you want to eat that day since you're already doing that. Let the OCD help there - but then if you think you'd like to eat a cookie, consider how to adjust your plan if you eat the cookie, decide if doing that worth it to you, and follow your decision.

Change things up from a guilty snarfing of a cookie into a considered, planned choosing of a cookie. I think if you do that, you'll find that the cookies and other 'guilty' treats eventually won't seem so irresistible.

wannakimmy

I look at it like this... If I have that cookie, that is that much less filling food I can have. I decide whether them 200 calories are worth it or not. Some days, it is worth it to me, some days I can pass on it and have something healthier for my 200 calories. Depends on the day. As long as you are fitting it into your calories, and logging honestly. Have the cookie, if it is something you really can't pass by.

lemurcat12

I'm most frustrated in my not being able to resist - and visiting why I can't -

I get it; it's the feeling that you can't control it, and perhaps that you wasted the calories rather than being able to use them more intentionally. I experience that too sometimes, and although I agree with everyone that guilt is not a helpful motion to feel about food (can lead to feeling bad about yourself in a way that makes it harder to resist or leads to a negative relationship with food), I've done the same.

One thing to keep in mind is that you CAN control it. It's just that in that particular circumstance (you had the calories, they were there and probably smelling delicious) you didn't have a strong enough reason to do so. If something actually bad would have happened based on eating the cookies, you know you wouldn't have. Probably, if you'd been unable to eat them without going over you wouldn't have. That's significant.

Beyond that, when I find it difficult to resist, I find it helpful to kind of go through the contributing factors and think them out--is it something that is just really tempting to me, that I'm always going to be tempted by if it's right in front of me? was I susceptible for some reason? was I too hungry or craving carbs? (I started riding my bike 8 miles to work without adjusting my eating and was stupidly surprised when I spent the morning wanting a bagel, when I normally don't care about bagels--unlike running, biking apparently makes me hungry more immediately), was I just wanting a snack so that snacking on something else might help?, so on.

Another thing that sometimes works for me is just scheduling in the temptation--making it intentional if it fits in the calories. After dinner I will have 2 cookies, say. If I do that, I can generally wait.

_sirenofthesea_

One thing to keep in mind is that you CAN control it. It's just that in that particular circumstance (you had the calories, they were there and probably smelling delicious) you didn't have a strong enough reason to do so. If something actually bad would have happened based on eating the cookies, you know you wouldn't have. Probably, if you'd been unable to eat them without going over you wouldn't have. That's significant.


Ok - this hit home - I think had I not had the calories available - I wouldn't have eaten them

_sirenofthesea_

Thanks everyone for chiming in - always good to bounce thoughts about this journey off completely neutral people -
and while we all have different viewpoints - I got something from everyone's post!