One free night a year

Blacklance36

Andre Kirilenko, like a lot of pro athletes, has tens of woman throw themselves at him. I would bet he gets more than his one night a year.

I have a cousin that is a pro athlete and I have been out with him many times. As soon as women find out who he is they openly offer him NSA sex. I'm talking about LOTS of women throwing themselves at him. So much temptation...!!

He is only saying that as an excuse for if he gets caught.

FatFreeFrolicking

this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

Marriage is exactly what the people involved decide it is. The people in a marriage ascribe value to it. There are people who stay together their whole lives, some in a monogamous relationship without ever going through the ceremony, whether civil or religious, that many of us use to declare the state of marriage. Their relationships can be just as valid, sacred, whatever as one that follows the traditional path. In the same way, a ceremony doesn't always mean anything. Brittany Spears was married and divorced in 24 hours. It's illogical to assume that because her "marriage" fits the construct of your definition, it is somehow more sacred or valid than a union with no ceremony, a union between two or more men and/or women, or any other combination of consenting adults. <b>Sorry kiddo....you don't get to define love for other people.<b> Nobody does...assuming that it doesn't involve force or coercion. In that case, the courts are the authority. Otherwise it's none of your, nor anyone else's business.

First of all, don't call me kiddo. I'm an adult.

Second, marriage doesn't always equal love. And no where did I say two people had to be married in order for their relationship to hold value.

George_Baileys_Ghost

this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

Marriage is exactly what the people involved decide it is. The people in a marriage ascribe value to it. There are people who stay together their whole lives, some in a monogamous relationship without ever going through the ceremony, whether civil or religious, that many of us use to declare the state of marriage. Their relationships can be just as valid, sacred, whatever as one that follows the traditional path. In the same way, a ceremony doesn't always mean anything. Brittany Spears was married and divorced in 24 hours. It's illogical to assume that because her "marriage" fits the construct of your definition, it is somehow more sacred or valid than a union with no ceremony, a union between two or more men and/or women, or any other combination of consenting adults. <b>Sorry kiddo....you don't get to define love for other people.<b> Nobody does...assuming that it doesn't involve force or coercion. In that case, the courts are the authority. Otherwise it's none of your, nor anyone else's business.

First of all, don't call me kiddo. I'm an adult.

Second, marriage doesn't always equal love. And no where did I say two people had to be married in order for their relationship to hold value.

PinkyFett

Not a chance.

L4manski

Not for me. The idea of my wife coming home and kissing me with the same mouth she kissed or did other things to someone with makes me ill...

ValGogo

nope.

ValGogo

I think my (almost ex) husband did this but forgot to ask for the pass.

What a dummy. Well, he lost a lot, didn't he? Nice muskles grrl!

randomtai

this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

Marriage is exactly what the people involved decide it is. The people in a marriage ascribe value to it. There are people who stay together their whole lives, some in a monogamous relationship without ever going through the ceremony, whether civil or religious, that many of us use to declare the state of marriage. Their relationships can be just as valid, sacred, whatever as one that follows the traditional path. In the same way, a ceremony doesn't always mean anything. Brittany Spears was married and divorced in 24 hours. It's illogical to assume that because her "marriage" fits the construct of your definition, it is somehow more sacred or valid than a union with no ceremony, a union between two or more men and/or women, or any other combination of consenting adults. <b>Sorry kiddo....you don't get to define love for other people.<b> Nobody does...assuming that it doesn't involve force or coercion. In that case, the courts are the authority. Otherwise it's none of your, nor anyone else's business.

First of all, don't call me kiddo. I'm an adult.

Second, marriage doesn't always equal love. And no where did I say two people had to be married in order for their relationship to hold value.

JenAndSome

The only way I could see this working is if you didn't tell your partner when your "free night" happens. That way you don't have the guilt or the pressure of one day to pick someone to do in one day.

Derpes

Different STROKES for different folks, right?

danahubley

I think my (almost ex) husband did this but forgot to ask for the pass.

Yep.

resistance_freak

Never. And I know he would say the same. My opinion is that if you feel you need to be with someone else, ever, then your marriage has serious problems and is probably already over.

I don't judge others' relationships though, so whatever works for them.

I like how in the first paragraph you judged another's relationship and then in closing you explained how you don't judge.

Sinisterly

Why just one night? Psh

George_Baileys_Ghost

Different STROKES for different folks, right?

Are you hittin on me?

Guns_N_Buns

this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

This concept of an open marriage is obviously too adult for you to handle

lmao! I was thinking the same thing. Obviously, age plays a very big role in this (i.e. experience). I agree with the first comment of this sequence of those quoted: it's very taboo and doesn't necessarily determine that the two don't love each other. I think humans are very sexual creatures and suppressing that generally exacerbates those needs making tensions/resentment rise in the relationship. Many say that their spouse fulfills those needs 100% and that's great. I don't have an open relationship, but I can see where it could fit into one's lifestyle. Those who oppose it outright I think just can't fathom a relationship of love along with other partners that are purely for sex. I, myself, like the crazy, passionate sex which generally requires love (and/or emotion of some sort) and can't see rocking another man's world without him falling in love with me. (haha wink wink) So, I stay monogamous.

Madame_Goldbricker

Be a bit depressing if they turned out to have sexual dysfunction.... Better luck next year I guess.

Jenni129

FitWithWit44

Different STROKES for different folks, right?

jasonmh630

My opinion: If you're seeking sexual/romantic gratification from someone OTHER than your wife/SO, then you're cheating. I don't care if it's "approved" by the spouse... If you truly cared for and loved your spouse, you wouldn't want to be with ANYONE else.

Disagree. Then again, I don't buy into the idea of being only able to love one person at a time. Just because you love and marry someone, doesn't mean you can't love other people too.

I respect your opinion... But loving someone and being IN love with someone are two totally different animals. Being IN love dictates that you are committed to and loyal to that person you are in love with. I've seen people try things like this and/or open relationships, and 95% of the time, it ruins both relationships.

If this steps on any toes, I apologize. This is just my opinion that the failures outweighs the successes.

RINat612

Oh Hail NO.

This.

kristen2713

Oh Hail NO.

In -- I'd love to say I'm "adult enough" to say SURE!!!! But...:explode: :noway:

firfeous

So I just read an article that says that NBA player Andre Kirilenko has a deal with his wife where they each get one free night a year to be with someone else. Would you ever do that with your spouse/partner?

My SO could do that....as long as I can join him and her...

UsedToBeHusky

Never. And I know he would say the same. My opinion is that if you feel you need to be with someone else, ever, then your marriage has serious problems and is probably already over.

I don't judge others' relationships though, so whatever works for them.

Judging others by not judging others. That takes talent!

UsedToBeHusky

Also it's not the same circumstances as you or me, this guy is a millionaire with women throwing themselves at him. If he only does it once a year, I would be surprised!

This is like the whole moderation thing. By allowing it once a year, the temptation is lessened. You know, you skip the office doughnuts so that you can have that creme brulee after dinner.

madhatter2013

this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

UsedToBeHusky

Also it's not the same circumstances as you or me, this guy is a millionaire with women throwing themselves at him. If he only does it once a year, I would be surprised!

This is like the whole moderation thing. By allowing it once a year, the temptation is lessened. You know, you skip the office doughnuts so that you can have that creme brulee after dinner.

but apparently you had the target all year though...so what does that say?

I'm confused by what you are asking. Obviously, if he gets to go outside of his marriage once a year, he is going to choose a high caliber individual, and not just your average basketball groupie.

UsedToBeHusky

Also it's not the same circumstances as you or me, this guy is a millionaire with women throwing themselves at him. If he only does it once a year, I would be surprised!

This is like the whole moderation thing. By allowing it once a year, the temptation is lessened. You know, you skip the office doughnuts so that you can have that creme brulee after dinner.

but apparently you had the target all year though...so what does that say?

I'm confused by what you are asking. Obviously, if he gets to go outside of his marriage once a year, he is going to choose a high caliber individual, and not just your average basketball groupie.

meaning you are thinking about it well in advance of the free day, therefore, you are setting it up etc got to have a little convo etc....etc...

Well yeah... I can't ever remember a time when I just spontaneously had creme brulee...

UsedToBeHusky

Also it's not the same circumstances as you or me, this guy is a millionaire with women throwing themselves at him. If he only does it once a year, I would be surprised!

This is like the whole moderation thing. By allowing it once a year, the temptation is lessened. You know, you skip the office doughnuts so that you can have that creme brulee after dinner.

but apparently you had the target all year though...so what does that say?

I'm confused by what you are asking. Obviously, if he gets to go outside of his marriage once a year, he is going to choose a high caliber individual, and not just your average basketball groupie.

meaning you are thinking about it well in advance of the free day, therefore, you are setting it up etc got to have a little convo etc....etc...

Well yeah... I can't ever remember a time when I just spontaneously had creme brulee...

well I mean, Id atleast like to know how it was made........ya know.


point being......aren't you cheating if you are talking about it before it happens, whether its cheating the significant other out of time or whatever.

You can call it whatever you want. It doesn't really matter if you consider it cheating or if it actually is cheating. The reality is that his SO has decided that it won't affect their marriage, whether you consider it cheating or not, and in the end, that is all that should really matter to him, right? How his behavior affects his marriage and NOT people's opinions... right?

RINat612

I failed the sharing part of Kindergarten.

I don't share my wife. Not now, not ever.

KseRz

So I just read an article that says that NBA player Andre Kirilenko has a deal with his wife where they each get one free night a year to be with someone else. Would you ever do that with your spouse/partner?

My SO could do that....as long as I can join him and her...