"You're beautiful, you don't need to watch calories."
Replies
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I think people are just being kind, and... that they just don't know what calorie counting really means for you.
I must say though, I don't get the correlation between watching calories and being beautiful.
Yep, don't get this either. I guess I don't understand people moaning about being complimented about their looks. But then, as a woman who is fit but not beautiful/attractive and won't be at any weight, I'm just envious of all the beautiful people. I'm drawn to faces and I find that attractive ones are attached to bodies of a range of sizes.
I do agree that there's no such thing as cutting yourself slack even when at a normal weight. I've been in maintenance for 3 years with an active workout schedule, yet I managed to acquire an extra 10lbs over a 6 month period simply from letting things go when life stresses got out of hand. Lesson learned and I'm back on track.0 -
for sure!! im a type2 diabetic. my closest friends goal weight is my weight. they don't understand what this extra 20lbs on me does to my body. everyone has their comfort or panic weight. good luck to all!0
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:drinker:Sometimes I think the number of "fat Americans" is greatly over guesstimated by folks from other countries. Unless, of course, you have actual numbers to back up your claim.
It really is. It's become this really bad stereotype, that people from other countries cling to the way some people cling to the stereotype that all french men wear black and white stripped shirts. Both seem harmless at first, but are actually harmful when you really stop to think about it.
After spending my first year in Asia, I returned to the US for a visit, and after stepping off the plane my jaw about hit the floor. I hadn't really noticed it before, because it seemed normal, but Americans are FAT. Not just a bit overweight, chubby, or whatever, but straight-up shockingly obese, and in huge numbers. You can see it with your two eyes.
Now, if *I* was so shocked (and I lived in the US for so many years), imagine how it seems to international visitors. I distinctly remember going to Target with my mom and while waiting for her, just people-watching. When she returned, I asked her if she could find a single person who did not appear to be overweight... we looked and looked and it took us forever to find someone of a normal size. EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE was visibly overweight. You can understand why the stereotype exists. In four years of living in China, I can count on one hand how many obese people I've seen. So coming from that frame of reference to a country where the majority is overweight is absolutely stunning. And when you live in it, your frame of reference really *does* change.
That said, I don't think it's helpful to anyone to make fun of Americans for being fat, and I certainly don't appreciate the cruelty with which people from other countries mock Americans. I think many Americans are fat for a multitude of reasons, including diet, lifestyle, culture, education, medical care, etc., but I don't think ANY of them are laziness or stupidity. It's straight-up NOT OKAY to make fun of other people for being fat.
Not to say that Americans should be absolved of the responsibility for their own health and fitness, but I do think the issue is far more complex than most people realize. Plus, a lot of Americans are really struggling to be healthy, trying to eat properly, trying to exercise, and are having a hard time losing weight. Many people already feel like crap about themselves because of their bodies. They don't need other people to pile it on. We all have our problems, it's just that in the US our problems are often visible. People in China, for example, may not have weight issues, but they do smoke like goddamn chimneys and can't stop running over each other with cars. So nobody's perfect. Take a good long look at yourself before you start casting stones.
TL;DR - Yes, Americans may have problems with being overweight, but no, that doesn't mean it's okay for other people to use that as ammo against them. Let's be kind to each other.0 -
Also, a single slice of carrot cake has 1/2 your daily calories? HOLY *kitten*. That must be mass-produced cake. If you make your cake at home I promise it will not be that calorie-dense. I remember when NYC mandated that all fast-food restaurants post their calorie contents directly on the menu. While I don't eat McD's and all that, I did have Starbucks sometimes and I about crapped myself when I saw that a tiny Starbucks donut had 400 calories. How is it even physically possible to pack that many calories into such a tiny space? Is it made out of pure lard, or perhaps dark matter? I've noticed that all mass-produced cakes and pastries seem to have more fat in them than a homemade equivalent would have. Not that we should all be stuffing our pie holes with um, pie, all the time, but if you're gonna, then it's a good incentive to have homemade!
I remember when Starbucks started posting calorie counts and I learned that my beloved treat...the iced lemon pound cake had 480 calories. I haven't been able to bring myself to order it since.
I do think many Americans have become so accustomed to seeing overweight people that it has become the new normal. Not long ago, I was caught a few scenes from the old (1980) Dom Deluise movie "Fatso" on television...of course the whole story centered around the fact that his character was overweight. Fact is, if I walked into Walmart today, three out of five people would be bigger than he was in that movie. Even I looked at him and thought, he isn't THAT big.
And then there is vanity sizing. Which I am convinced exists partly so people can say they wear the same size they did in high school. That may be true, but the clothes have gotten bigger. When I was in high school (way back in the 1980s) size zero didn't exist. I wore a size 5 (juniors) and sometimes a 4 or 6 in misses sizes. Today I am the same size was in high school. After a quarter of a century and three babies, things may have shifted a bit, but overall I am probably in better shape now than then. And instead of wearing a 4/5/6 I am a 0...sometimes a 00. Yes I am small, but I am not "skinny" which makes me wonder where the really tiny girls shop.0 -
And then there is vanity sizing. Which I am convinced exists partly so people can say they wear the same size they did in high school. That may be true, but the clothes have gotten bigger. When I was in high school (way back in the 1980s) size zero didn't exist. I wore a size 5 (juniors) and sometimes a 4 or 6 in misses sizes. Today I am the same size was in high school. After a quarter of a century and three babies, things may have shifted a bit, but overall I am probably in better shape now than then. And instead of wearing a 4/5/6 I am a 0...sometimes a 00. Yes I am small, but I am not "skinny" which makes me wonder where the really tiny girls shop.
Yeah, the sizes are all over the place, there doesn't even seem to be a standard anymore. For this reason, I prefer sizing that goes by measurements instead of dress sizes. Jeans with a waist/leg measurement instead of a size, for example. I buy a lot of clothes online and I'm sure to double-check the measurements of everything before I just assume that I'm a "medium" or whatever - "medium" seems to mean any size whatsoever these days.
Very petite people are out of luck. My mom is 5'4" and quite slender. In the old days she was considered more of an average size, now she is considered very small. Even the smallest sizes at some shops don't fit her and she has to have clothes taken in. She laughs because in the 1970s when she was quite fit and slim, she took a size 10! I know because she still has some of her old clothes, and they are tiny, what we might consider about a 2 or 4 now, but the label is a size 10! Amazing. I have a friend who is quite petite, about 5'0" and slender, and she often has to shop in the children's section.
I'm 5'8" and well-built, with muscles, thick legs, broad shoulders, and so on, and I take a size 6, even though I'm taller and larger than what should be considered average. Thirty years ago I think I'd have been a 10 or 12. But here in China where I live I cannot for the life of me find clothing that fits. I'm gargantuan compared with Chinese women, haha.0 -
You said it perfect!! :drinker:0
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great rant0
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I have had strangers say this to me. They become very concerned and think I must have body dysmorphia. I tell them I lift weights and work on gaining muscle because I don't know how else to quickly explain it. And then they are like, "Whoa, but you are so small."0
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I am morbidly obese. Though I may just be obese now, I need to check my BMI again and check, but I have heard this same thing. "You are beautiful!" or "YOu carry your weight so well!" or "You don't need to lose weight, you are beautiful just the way you are". Which is all good and dandy and it's nice to know that I can be moderately attractive despite my unhealthy weight.
The thing a lot of people don't realize is that this whole weightloss thing, getting healthy, exercising, taking care of ourselves. We don't do it for everyone else. At least, I don't. Sure, I enjoy hearing that I am attractive but what good is it for other people to find me attractive if I am not comfortable with how I look?
Furthermore, we should take pride in ourselves and respect our bodies enough to take care of them because this is the only body we have and if we want it for the long haul then we need to take care of it... I mean, we are stuck with these bodies!
So all in all, our bodies, what we do to take care of them, it's no one elses concern really? You think I look great? Awesome, that's great to hear but other people opinions have no weight in my personal aspirations for myself. Just keep reminding yourself of that. They don't know your body or what you really want for yourself. You keep doing what you want and need to do for yourself and just smile and nod at the comments of others.
Spot on!! This drives me crazy too. And I heartily agree with the OP.
And now I want carrot cake. Damn...0 -
I have just serously got down into business to loose weight. I have just started and today is day 5. I see no difference in my scale. still 222.8. Is that normal? aND i RELIGIOUSLY key in my calories daily and sometime I don''t know which one to choose. Like for example a bowl of salad that I eat, how much calories are in there? How do I count the calories accurately? My whole calories per day sums up to 900 - 1000. But my quota is 1600. Is that okay? I worry I'm not loosing anything!0
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Also, a single slice of carrot cake has 1/2 your daily calories? HOLY *kitten*. That must be mass-produced cake. If you make your cake at home I promise it will not be that calorie-dense. I remember when NYC mandated that all fast-food restaurants post their calorie contents directly on the menu. While I don't eat McD's and all that, I did have Starbucks sometimes and I about crapped myself when I saw that a tiny Starbucks donut had 400 calories. How is it even physically possible to pack that many calories into such a tiny space? Is it made out of pure lard, or perhaps dark matter? I've noticed that all mass-produced cakes and pastries seem to have more fat in them than a homemade equivalent would have. Not that we should all be stuffing our pie holes with um, pie, all the time, but if you're gonna, then it's a good incentive to have homemade!
I remember when Starbucks started posting calorie counts and I learned that my beloved treat...the iced lemon pound cake had 480 calories. I haven't been able to bring myself to order it since.
I do think many Americans have become so accustomed to seeing overweight people that it has become the new normal. Not long ago, I was caught a few scenes from the old (1980) Dom Deluise movie "Fatso" on television...of course the whole story centered around the fact that his character was overweight. Fact is, if I walked into Walmart today, three out of five people would be bigger than he was in that movie. Even I looked at him and thought, he isn't THAT big.
And then there is vanity sizing. Which I am convinced exists partly so people can say they wear the same size they did in high school. That may be true, but the clothes have gotten bigger. When I was in high school (way back in the 1980s) size zero didn't exist. I wore a size 5 (juniors) and sometimes a 4 or 6 in misses sizes. Today I am the same size was in high school. After a quarter of a century and three babies, things may have shifted a bit, but overall I am probably in better shape now than then. And instead of wearing a 4/5/6 I am a 0...sometimes a 00. Yes I am small, but I am not "skinny" which makes me wonder where the really tiny girls shop.
I would love to know where the tiny girls are supposed to shop because my daughter is one! She's too big for girls sizes but the smallest junior sizes are huge on her. She has a very limited wardrobe at the moment.0 -
I don't eat half of a slice of carrot cake, I eat the WHOLE piece!!!.....and it still fits into my calories. Moderation is the key word here.
I actually don't like eating that much of it any more. It's too rich. But I love it in small bits. It's 1300 calories. That's a LOT of fat at a sitting. It makes me feel ill if I eat the whole thing.
But YUMMY in small amounts.
I adore carrot cake too. I don't know why the recipes for it call for so much oil, though-- it's not necessary. The next time you make it (if you do) try cutting the amount of oil/butter in half or less and adding a bunch of extra grated carrot (like 1.5 times what the recipe calls for). Even yummier than the original, and not so greasy. Normal oily carrot cake or zucchini bread makes me feel ill too.
I just had cake this evening for the first time in ages; it was too much for me, my fiance had to eat the last bit instead. . .
I luckily have not gotten any of these comments yet, but those who I associate with regularly either know all about my weight loss and admire my success, or they are co-workers/acquaintances who may notice but they know it's not appropriate to say anything. I guess I'm lucky to have such polite acquaintances! I imagine as people get used to me being this size I may encounter such things.0 -
I have just serously got down into business to loose weight. I have just started and today is day 5. I see no difference in my scale. still 222.8. Is that normal? aND i RELIGIOUSLY key in my calories daily and sometime I don''t know which one to choose. Like for example a bowl of salad that I eat, how much calories are in there? How do I count the calories accurately? My whole calories per day sums up to 900 - 1000. But my quota is 1600. Is that okay? I worry I'm not loosing anything!
@ chel_8785: Sometimes it takes a few days to see any weight loss.
If you have a salad, search the food database for each vegetable/ingredient and add each one separately; look for entries without an asterisk in front of them as the ones with an asterisk have been added by another user and sometimes the calories are wrong.
If your net calories for a day are adding up to 900-1000 and your quota is 1600, you are not eating enough. Eat up to your calorie goal. If you add exercise calories, those will be added to the amount you can eat that day; some people eat all of those back, others only eat back half their exercise calories because sometimes the exercise entries on this site overestimate how many calories a person can burn doing whatever exercise.
This thread http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?hl=sexypants explains everything very well. Give it a read, it should help.
Sorry OP. . . couldn't just leave her hanging with new-person questions, even if it was in the middle of your thread. . .0 -
Amen. This is the best thing I've read all day.Watching what you eat/calories shouldn't be associated with dieting. They should be associated with living - it's a prevention activity, not an intervention. Just like brushing your teeth prevents calories, it's not something you just do after you get cavities to make them go away.
Lifestyle changes, eating well and within an appropriate calorie goal should be an everyday thing. 0 -
Yesterday I didn't track, ate alot. Couldn't help myself.
Was mainly fruit, but would have been over 3000 calories probably.
So today im tracking again, if i don't, i eat too much.0 -
I think the title is the problem. Three times in the last week people have noticed me logging food on my phone at a restaurant or on a plane. Yesterday I was recommending this awesome carrot cake to my mother-in-law and mentioned that I always split it with my husband because it has literally half the calories I get for the day.
All three times strangers have turned to me and said 'you don't need to watch your calories, you look great'.
Flattering. But that's the problem. I look fine because I do watch what I eat. If we did it right, we'd never have to 'lose' weight because we'd watch what we ate our whole life and just maintained.
For me, I did that fine until I got older and my metabolism slowed down faster than my eating.
Watching what you eat/calories shouldn't be associated with dieting. They should be associated with living - it's a prevention activity, not an intervention. Just like brushing your teeth prevents calories, it's not something you just do after you get cavities to make them go away.
End of rant.
As a "person of size" (LOL, I'm a recovering fatty and I know it), I get the same looks for a completely different reason. People assume that because I am big I don't track or care about my consumption of foods. NOT. TRUE.0 -
"You're ugly, you do need to watch calories."
Just checking if the statement makes sense backwards.
You completely captured my point. :laugh: Thank you.
Also, nah, I don't think it works. Lol!
^this is totally true. - good point I didn't think of it like this. When it comes down to it its all about just being healthy.0 -
"I look fine because I do watch what I eat".
This is going to stick with me for the rest of my life. At times, even I kid myself and say "you look fine - you can have a cheat day, stop exercising so much" etc. It will get even harder when others start to say the same thing.
Thank you for this.0 -
I had a similar thing happen to me. I was putting my calories in, and an overweight person next to me was looking at me like I was a crazy person.
Him: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Counting my calories?"
Him: "WHY??"
Me: "So I don't go back to being 235 lbs."
Him: "I could NEVER do that."
...
To be fair, years later this same person is finally losing some weight, but it was frustrating to hear at the time.0 -
I get it too when people ask why I do research before eating out at resturants and I log and look at everything I eat....they say " you dont need to diet" I say... I know, I dont diet, and I look like this bc I make myself aware of how many calories I am putting into my body. Its not a diet. Its just knowing what contains what.0
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I get those comments as well. I always smile and tell them that I am taking personal responsibility for what I put in my body and that I exercise because it prevents a ton of health conditions.
It's not about being 'fat' or being 'skinny', it's about being healthy and staying healthy.0 -
I think the issue is that some people look at those of us that are considered skinny or healthy, and automatically assume it is easy and comes naturally. They don't understand that in order to look this way, we HAVE to work at it! I can't eat whatever I want and not work out, that is how I gained the 30 lbs in college that have taken me years of struggling to remove.
I have had multiple people tell me I should not be looking so closely at what I am eating or that it is okay to skip workouts, because I don't need to "be on a diet." These are the people that do not understand I am NOT on a diet. Sure, I have a few more lbs I want to lose. But this is my lifestyle, and always will be. I am not graced with good genes to be naturally thin, I need to work at it every day.
I would just reply snarkily "Thank you, but I look this way because I work hard at it!"0 -
:drinker:Sometimes I think the number of "fat Americans" is greatly over guesstimated by folks from other countries. Unless, of course, you have actual numbers to back up your claim.
It really is. It's become this really bad stereotype, that people from other countries cling to the way some people cling to the stereotype that all french men wear black and white stripped shirts. Both seem harmless at first, but are actually harmful when you really stop to think about it.
After spending my first year in Asia, I returned to the US for a visit, and after stepping off the plane my jaw about hit the floor. I hadn't really noticed it before, because it seemed normal, but Americans are FAT. Not just a bit overweight, chubby, or whatever, but straight-up shockingly obese, and in huge numbers. You can see it with your two eyes.
Now, if *I* was so shocked (and I lived in the US for so many years), imagine how it seems to international visitors. I distinctly remember going to Target with my mom and while waiting for her, just people-watching. When she returned, I asked her if she could find a single person who did not appear to be overweight... we looked and looked and it took us forever to find someone of a normal size. EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE was visibly overweight. You can understand why the stereotype exists. In four years of living in China, I can count on one hand how many obese people I've seen. So coming from that frame of reference to a country where the majority is overweight is absolutely stunning. And when you live in it, your frame of reference really *does* change.
That said, I don't think it's helpful to anyone to make fun of Americans for being fat, and I certainly don't appreciate the cruelty with which people from other countries mock Americans. I think many Americans are fat for a multitude of reasons, including diet, lifestyle, culture, education, medical care, etc., but I don't think ANY of them are laziness or stupidity. It's straight-up NOT OKAY to make fun of other people for being fat.
Not to say that Americans should be absolved of the responsibility for their own health and fitness, but I do think the issue is far more complex than most people realize. Plus, a lot of Americans are really struggling to be healthy, trying to eat properly, trying to exercise, and are having a hard time losing weight. Many people already feel like crap about themselves because of their bodies. They don't need other people to pile it on. We all have our problems, it's just that in the US our problems are often visible. People in China, for example, may not have weight issues, but they do smoke like goddamn chimneys and can't stop running over each other with cars. So nobody's perfect. Take a good long look at yourself before you start casting stones.
TL;DR - Yes, Americans may have problems with being overweight, but no, that doesn't mean it's okay for other people to use that as ammo against them. Let's be kind to each other.
This is so true. Although judging by the amount of snack food (particularly cookies and candy) everyone in my company's Shanghai office shoves down their throat while working, China looks like it might be confronting some of the same problems as the US in about 10 years. Sad, especially when food in China is unbelievably good and incredibly healthy (on the whole)0 -
My biggest and only complaint is when your at friends or out to eat and dessert comes out... - and honestly I have not had a dessert in so long I don't even ever crave or want it - and you say no thanks
everyone - :noway:
and then they all act like they are not enjoying their fatty carbs of death and I'm feeling guilty for making them all feel guilty...
but at least I feel ripped doing it :glasses:
-same goes with drinking... :ohwell:0 -
I'm just here to see what my scotty is saying.0
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Oh, okay yeah, I'm not a big dessert person, at least RIGHT after the meal. So I often turn down dessert when out with people.
They hate it. You might as well be insulting their momma.0 -
Oh, okay yeah, I'm not a big dessert person, at least RIGHT after the meal. So I often turn down dessert when out with people.
They hate it. You might as well be insulting their momma.
^true that0 -
lol LOVE IT!All three times strangers have turned to me and said 'you don't need to watch your calories, you look great'.
Flattering. But that's the problem. I look fine because I do watch what I eat. If we did it right, we'd never have to 'lose' weight because we'd watch what we ate our whole life and just maintained.0 -
Well this is what it's come to.
We have to count calories to survive in this overindulgent and greedy world (I'm speaking as an overindulgent and greedy person).
Also, speaking as a Dual nationality Brit/Yank, I can say that I am gobsmacked how bad things are in the states. Just walking through one of the slimmer airports (lax) is shocking. (Why choose white shorts...why???)
I think it's so ingrained in the states to pig out, we've been completely brainwashed.
It's maybe a small coincidence since I've banned tv and papers and mags in my life for 18 months now that I've been leaner and healthier than in my whole life. That and calorie counting and triathlon training:drinker:0 -
Also, a single slice of carrot cake has 1/2 your daily calories? HOLY *kitten*. That must be mass-produced cake. If you make your cake at home I promise it will not be that calorie-dense. I remember when NYC mandated that all fast-food restaurants post their calorie contents directly on the menu. While I don't eat McD's and all that, I did have Starbucks sometimes and I about crapped myself when I saw that a tiny Starbucks donut had 400 calories. How is it even physically possible to pack that many calories into such a tiny space? Is it made out of pure lard, or perhaps dark matter? I've noticed that all mass-produced cakes and pastries seem to have more fat in them than a homemade equivalent would have. Not that we should all be stuffing our pie holes with um, pie, all the time, but if you're gonna, then it's a good incentive to have homemade!
I remember when Starbucks started posting calorie counts and I learned that my beloved treat...the iced lemon pound cake had 480 calories. I haven't been able to bring myself to order it since.
I do think many Americans have become so accustomed to seeing overweight people that it has become the new normal. Not long ago, I was caught a few scenes from the old (1980) Dom Deluise movie "Fatso" on television...of course the whole story centered around the fact that his character was overweight. Fact is, if I walked into Walmart today, three out of five people would be bigger than he was in that movie. Even I looked at him and thought, he isn't THAT big.
And then there is vanity sizing. Which I am convinced exists partly so people can say they wear the same size they did in high school. That may be true, but the clothes have gotten bigger. When I was in high school (way back in the 1980s) size zero didn't exist. I wore a size 5 (juniors) and sometimes a 4 or 6 in misses sizes. Today I am the same size was in high school. After a quarter of a century and three babies, things may have shifted a bit, but overall I am probably in better shape now than then. And instead of wearing a 4/5/6 I am a 0...sometimes a 00. Yes I am small, but I am not "skinny" which makes me wonder where the really tiny girls shop.
I have wondered the same thing. Those that are very thin and are size 0 and not a vanity 0 where in the heck do they get their clothes?? The little girls section?? I'm sure vanity sizing has gotten to the little girls section as well though
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