Just friends?
WanderingPomme
Posts: 601 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ladies, let's say you have a guy best friend. You know all his exes and flings, how he lies to women and what he says to get them in bed, all about how he cheats and sneaks around. Basically, you know everything about this dude-- the good, bad and the ugly. Your friendship is weird because you cheer him on with his latest conquest. He'll call you to tell you about the girl he met the other night and that he banged her last night and you congratulate him. No jealousy whatsoever! Completely platonic. You know his friends, he knows your friends. He brings you along with him and his friends and you bring him with you sometimes too. Your friends and his think there's something going on with you two, but there really isn't. You two are just that close. You guys can hug without there being any malice. He can compliment you, and you him. He'll tell you *kitten* you want to know about straight up and not sugarcoat it. He tells you to go out and date. You scold him when he's being an as*h*le to the women, but he never listens. You're friends with him because some guys are just bad boyfriends but good friends, he's one of those people. You guys can talk about anything. He's just really a best bud.
Then one night he suddenly jokes around about doing the deed together. *you get caught off guard because that's the first time that's happened) You scoff, laugh and say no. And then it happens again, he brings it up playfully and he even suggested that you two should date since you're single.
What would you do in these situations? Or what have you done? (If you've experienced this already)
Men, do you do this to your girl best friends if you have any? Lol
I'll go all When Harry Met Sally on you guys...
Can men and women ever just be friends?
Then one night he suddenly jokes around about doing the deed together. *you get caught off guard because that's the first time that's happened) You scoff, laugh and say no. And then it happens again, he brings it up playfully and he even suggested that you two should date since you're single.
What would you do in these situations? Or what have you done? (If you've experienced this already)
Men, do you do this to your girl best friends if you have any? Lol
I'll go all When Harry Met Sally on you guys...
Can men and women ever just be friends?
0
Replies
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Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.0 -
Let's just say, such a man sounds like a great bloke, a mother would be so proud of him.
Let's just say anyone who gets intimately involved with a best friend such as him deserves what he dishes out to all his other conquests.
Let's just say, imagine being the subject of a text or phone call to all his other best friends that he was banging you all night.
Let's just say, I know blokes will be blokes but there doesn't seem to be many redeeming qualities to such a man at all.0 -
I married him.
(To be fair he wasn't that extreme, no lying or cheating but he did date lots and I was his wingman at times)0 -
Option A - He's really into you & wants to try and give it a proper shot at a relationship.
Option B - He's just looking to try his luck & add another notch to the bed post.0 -
He's more than a bad boyfriend, he's a bad person. I don't hang out with users and he's a user. He now wants to use you. Surprised? Why?You're friends with him because some guys are just bad boyfriends but good friends, he's one of those people.
Yes. Believe it or not, I am not physically attracted to every other woman on the planet and not all of them are attracted to me.Can men and women ever just be friends?0 -
Really? Just add alcohol and everyone looks amazing. :drinker: :bigsmile:0
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Yes, they absolutely can. I have more guy friends than girl friends. And I'm very close to some of those guys, and very close to one in particular. And it's all platonic.Can men and women ever just be friends?
But, yes, I've come across 'guy friends' who sound like the guy you've described, and a couple have tried to get me into bed too. They might not have been bad people, I can't be the judge of that, but the fact that they could think of me as just another girl they could bang made me doubt their friendship. And yes, needless to say, the friendship didn't last for more than a year or two in either case.
Bottom line - I'm happier staying away from people whose behavior I can't condone at all, especially in matters like using people. I'm all about having an open mind - but then there are always lines that you don't want to cross.0 -
I think women are better at being "just friends" with men than the other way around. A guy would have to be *extremely* not attracted to a woman for this to never develop into a potential someone to sleep with...as opposed to your buddy Joe from the third grade.
Women also tend to keep guys in the friend zone on the back burner. Just in case, I guess. One more layer of security.
I have some female friends from way back that I'm seriously not into. Because they are seriously not attractive at all to me. That is the scenario where my mind can literally never cross into the "what if" of it all...because it actually recoils from the thought as being kinda revolting.
They say men think about sex every 7 seconds, so the story goes. I think women should consider how many seconds they spend around or in the thoughts of their male friends, and consider the odds that this isn't going on in their heads. The might never say a thing, might take it to the grave...but if your even remotely attractive your "platonic" male friends will absolutely jump you if given the opportunity. And all men know it...which is why they tend to be less than thrilled about their significant others running around with male friends.
Men just have extreme sex drives compared to women...and so women tend to underestimate the effect of it by looking at the issue from a female perspective.
Just my two cents.0 -
Ladies, let's say you have a guy best friend. You know all his exes and flings, how he lies to women and what he says to get them in bed, all about how he cheats and sneaks around. Basically, you know everything about this dude-- the good, bad and the ugly. Your friendship is weird because you cheer him on with his latest conquest. He'll call you to tell you about the girl he met the other night and that he banged her last night and you congratulate him. No jealousy whatsoever! Completely platonic. You know his friends, he knows your friends. He brings you along with him and his friends and you bring him with you sometimes too. Your friends and his think there's something going on with you two, but there really isn't. You two are just that close. You guys can hug without there being any malice. He can compliment you, and you him. He'll tell you *kitten* you want to know about straight up and not sugarcoat it. He tells you to go out and date. You scold him when he's being an as*h*le to the women, but he never listens. You're friends with him because some guys are just bad boyfriends but good friends, he's one of those people. You guys can talk about anything. He's just really a best bud.
Then one night he suddenly jokes around about doing the deed together. *you get caught off guard because that's the first time that's happened) You scoff, laugh and say no. And then it happens again, he brings it up playfully and he even suggested that you two should date since you're single.
What would you do in these situations? Or what have you done? (If you've experienced this already)
Men, do you do this to your girl best friends if you have any? Lol
I'll go all When Harry Met Sally on you guys...
Can men and women ever just be friends?
Noooooo!
I did this and its was CRAZY we were better off as friends but those damn hormones.... Now we are no longer friends and that kinda sucks0 -
If you open this door for him, you will get hurt.0
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Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.
That's not true at all...0 -
If you open this door for him, you will get hurt.
Probably this.0 -
Sigh... Well then, I spent my whole life meeting all the ones that were anti-friends-only. They may have started out as just friends but it always ended with them wanting a piece of the action eventually.Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.
That's not true at all...0 -
step awayyyyyyyyyyy
0 -
Sigh... Well then, I spent my whole life meeting all the ones that were anti-friends-only. They may have started out as just friends but it always ended with them wanting a piece of the action eventually.Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.
That's not true at all...
Then either you're irresistible or you need a better quality of friends.0 -
Sigh... Well then, I spent my whole life meeting all the ones that were anti-friends-only. They may have started out as just friends but it always ended with them wanting a piece of the action eventually.Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.
That's not true at all...
Then either you're irresistible or you need a better quality of friends.
QFT0 -
Nope,say no,it may be tempting but you will lose the friendship and be hurt in the bargain. you know,fidelity is not his strong point ...0
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Men and women can absolutely be friends.
You should totally go for it. I mean, it will be awesome when he starts asking you advice on his next conquest, and he tells you that you aren't like those other girls, that you're different, and so much cooler, and the best friend a guy can have.
No, no it won't.0 -
men and women can be friends but he'll still want to sleep with you at some point! Or at least think about it. You've discribed him as not very trust worthy. Your friendship will change more than likely. He'll want to sleep with you again when his options are low. If you want to do it, then do it. I wouldn't be suprised if you eventually stopped being friends though.0
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I married him.
(To be fair he wasn't that extreme, no lying or cheating but he did date lots and I was his wingman at times)
So your answer is "no"?0 -
So the answer is "no"men and women can be friends but he'll still want to sleep with you at some point! Or at least think about it.0 -
So the answer is "no"men and women can be friends but he'll still want to sleep with you at some point! Or at least think about it.
Except in the real world, thinking sleep with someone and actually sleeping with them are two different things. I can't control my thoughts but I do control my actions0 -
Since you have made a habit of cheering on his conquests, it sounds like you are deserving of such a man. Please do not use any form of birth control. You two breeding would be awesome. :noway:0
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Seriously? You know he's a cheater, so did you forget this? Most of my friends are female. I can relate to your friendship. If the friendship is important to you then hell no. Once you go there, it can never go back. Even though, I could be friends with ex's I never will. I just think this is a bad idea. Sounds like he's trying to get laid.0
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Thanks for the responses!0 -
did you ever think the problem is you?
Sigh... Well then, I spent my whole life meeting all the ones that were anti-friends-only. They may have started out as just friends but it always ended with them wanting a piece of the action eventually.Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.
That's not true at all...0 -
yes men and women can be "just friends"
*yawn*0 -
I have been in this exact same situation before. Do what you will, but don't be shocked if he doesn't change his ways because your relationship is supposedly " different." You know what you are dealing with from the beginning, and you have accepted him for who he is in the past. Not saying he won't be different with you, but he might not be. Also think about the very real possibility that it could ruin your friendship. Sometimes it is just better to leave things as they are. Good luck!0
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I believe they can, at least it works for me. I have a great friend to whom I can tell everything, its better then talking to my guy friends. She's attractive and gets along with everyone, she and I have the same mind set. It took me the longest time to figure out what she is to me....she's like a sister, even better because I can talk about everything, she's a wingman and a buddy.0
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How can the problem be me if he decides he wants to sleep with me and I do not reciprocate?
did you ever think the problem is you?
Sigh... Well then, I spent my whole life meeting all the ones that were anti-friends-only. They may have started out as just friends but it always ended with them wanting a piece of the action eventually.Can men and women ever just be friends?
Nope... not unless they are gay.
That's not true at all...0
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