Fitter than your partner?

becky10rp

I'm in much better shape than my husband............he has very poor eating habits.

He's in retail and works long hours - he doesn't plan ahead and make his lunch - or go out to lunch - and he'll go for 8+ hours without eating. Then he'll get home and be famished - and eat HUGE quantities of food - fast food, greasy food - poor choices.

He also refuses to exercise - he claims 'he's on his feet all day, that's enough'.

But it's not enough - it's not cardio - and it doesn't put a dent in his poor eating habits.

He has high blood pressure - his father died of a heart attack at age 42.

I worry about his health constantly.

PinkyPan1

Since making this life style change I am most definitely in better shape. He has not been supportive although he will claim otherwise. He has only commented about my change when prodded by someone else. I have not felt this good in years and I have no plan on stopping what I am doing.

dammitjanet0161

My fiance has a very active outdoor job but he has put on about 20lb since we have been together. Partly due to overindulgence (we both love our beer and eating out!), and more recently because he has been off work with a knee injury but still kept the same eating habits and was boredom eating while stuck at home recuperating.

I have probably put on a similar amount of weight in the 4 years we have been together (not sure exactly how much because I never weighed myself, but it translates to around a dress size in my case). I've always cooked and eaten healthier than him at home, and gone to the gym and hiked for exercise as I have a desk job. He never needed to exercise formally because of his job, although he did like cycling and hopes to get back into it again when his knee is up to it.

I'm now working on losing mine, he talks a lot about losing his but so far isn't doing very much about it! I'm doing my best to lead by example and not to nag

oregonzoo

I am much much more fit than my partner. But I always was.
I knew getting into this he's not as active as me, and probably wouldn't be anytime soon.
I love him dearly so decided it was something I would gladly accept in trade for his love.


There are times I wish he'd get with it, for his own health sake. But I've been with somebody who tried to push me into diets/workouts and shame my figure before, it's no bueno.
Anything he does will come from his own desire and I'll happily support it. But I found getting too involved just leads to frustration on my part.

JeffInJax

During my last relationship I started off being unhealthier then her and kinda switched roles about a year into the relationship. In order to make herself feel better she started giving me a hard time about going to the gym and asked for me to stop going and not to lose anymore weight. This was one of the key factors that ended our relationship.

brookielaw

I am in a pretty new relationship with a guy I've known for 14 years. I was always the heavier one, by far (100 + lbs, easy), throughout our friendship. Since making the changes I have, I am the more fit and active of the two of us. I have no idea weight-wise but I do know I can outperform him as far as swimming and biking and I actually participate in athletic events. I just realized that this is probably the first time I've been the smaller person in the relationship! This is the first time I've been able to steal my boyfriend's shirts to wear as PJs. It's kind of fun.

He has horrible eating habits due to his work and schedule. I'm actually a good influence on him health-wise. He loves me for me, and I love him for who he is too. I just want us both to live long and happy lives.

itodd4019

We sweat together and often. When we run we suffer tegether, when we stretch we get limber together, when we play, we play hard together. I can out run, out lift, out stretch, and pin her down.... but she can out love me everytime!

That's all I could ask for. So in love.

Dogwalkingirl

My boyfriend is quite overweight. I was in pretty good shape (about 150lbs and swimming daily) when we met each other. I gained 45 lbs in the first year we were together. I enjoyed being with him and a lot of our activities revolved around food and social events etc. I had never let myself go like that before but I cant blame him (although I would like to ha!). I started getting back into shape and about 6 months later he decided he better buck up as well. He goes to the gym 3-4 times a week now. Loves lifting, plays basketball and baseball. I make a lot of our food to keep us on track. Fast food and icecream is his weakness. He has went from 305lbs to 260lbs and is in A LOT better shape now. I still have about 20-25 lbs to lose but am also in WAY better shape. It is nice when you have a partner to keep you focused and motivate you.

MrTolerable

I'd articulate it with him... and working out with your other partner can act as foreplay.

In my case I am dating a Brazilian - when I say she is fit...

she is fit...

*bites jaw and thinks of her passionately*

Sasssy69

His weight has never affected my attraction to him, and I've never said anything about his weight, except to support his desire to lose weight. Weight is such a personal issue for many people (most, I'd say) that I would never tell anyone, let alone a spouse, that they needed to lose weight. If you're fat, you already know it.

This.

You can't tell someone else what he needs to do. I'm more fit and thinner than my husband, but when I was heavy, he never said word one to me about my weight. I would have been crushed if he had...especially if he had told me (or anyone) that he was not as physically attracted to me as he once was. My MIL made a comment about my weight two and a half months ago and it devastated me. I can't imagine how I would have reacted had it been someone who means the world to me.

Your husband will realize, at some point, that he needs to do something. Until then, just keep doing for you. And be ready to support him when he decides to make a change.

Topsking2010

I am single and always been fitter than most of the women I date.

AKNMHunt

I am the overweight one and he is the "fit" one.

thatjosiegirl

Physical fitness and eating well are personal choices, you can't and shouldn't attempt to force your lifestyle on your partner. If they really want those things in their life then they will make the necessary changes.

Your only job should be to love your partner as they are, not as you wish them to be.

time4change2k14

My SO and I are both classified as morbidly obese, but I'm making changes and he isn't really. He's been supportive, but I think he's been so discouraged by his health issues and failed attempts over the years he's hesitant. I'm working on him though!

He's diabetic and has severe issues with his legs so I guess I'd be more "fit" than him by default, but hopefully if I can get him to get himself on the right track he'll feel better.

MissBounceUK

From a cardio point of view, I kick my hubby's butt, but he is pretty strong and spends more time lifting that I do (I'm still just getting in to weights), so from that aspect, he pips me there big time. From a healthy eating point of view, I would say my diet is much better than his. His metabolism is VERY high, so he can literally shovel all kinds of crap in his mouth and not put a pound on (grrr!). I just wish he would eat a bit more fresh food than he does (he eats a lot of processed stuff), but he is slap bang in the middle of the healthy BMI scale and has only like 10% body-fat, so doesn't feel the need to change his eating habits at the moment.

frannieshack

When I was married I was running 30-40 miles a week and very fit, my X was very unhealthy and overweight. After our divorce I gained around 15 pounds because I started working full time, and my X dropped 60 lbs started running and biking.

That would not have made a difference in our relationship, but why is it that some people drastically drop weight and decide to get fit after a breakup?

JeffInJax

When I was married I was running 30-40 miles a week and very fit, my X was very unhealthy and overweight. After our divorce I gained around 15 pounds because I started working full time, and my X dropped 60 lbs started running and biking.

That would not have made a difference in our relationship, but why is it that some people drastically drop weight and decide to get fit after a breakup?

I think its because people get comfortable in relationships so they dont mind putting on a few pounds but as soon as they are put back into the single life they feel they have to get back into shape to get the attention from the opposite sex. (Or same if that floats your boat). Speaking from a guys perspective i know lots of dudes after their breakup hit the gym hard.

martinel2099

As your husband's wife you have a right to approach your husband about his increasing weight especially if it's starting to get to you. The only thing is you can't force him to want to lose weight, in fact you will probably make it worse if you go that route. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink.

Continue to lead by example and incorporating healthy options as often as you can. Eventually he'll come up with it and think it was his own brilliant idea.

mzbek24

When I met my partner I was at my heaviest weight, and so he was the fitter one. Now, we go hiking and I am the fitter one It's nice inside to feel that I have come so far and improved, but I know how it feels and would never judge him because I am more fit than he is.

sheskimtastic

When we started dating I was definitely the fitter one. Now that my partner is doing military training, he's definitely in better shape than I am now. But knowing that motivates me to get up every day and kick my workout's butt so I can keep up with him. We like to go hiking and do fitness things together so I need to stay fit.