Need advice from parents (none weight loss related)

bikinisuited

My 15 yo son is new to cell phone world with SNOOPING privileges by his mom. While I was snooping around I discovered that he texted his gf that mom was not driving him to his Honor Roll Student event. 1st time, he told me and hubby, “I HATE YOU guys!” Son accuses me of invading his privacy…

Consequence, he had to apologize in front of me by calling gf and telling her the truth. Embarrassed like H… but lesson learn. Supervise and monitor kids depending on circumstance as they do behave immature and sometimes they can irrational. Great students or average students, or few friends, etc.

Good to learn others opinions. :flowerforyou:

bikinisuited

I did the same thing when my son was that age...

I tracked his msn chats (he didn't know they were being recorded), I paid his cell phone bill so I got to look at it whenever I wanted or he didn't have a cell phone...

I read his FB mail etc.

I am his mother...not his buddeh...end of discussion...

And all my monitoring actually saved his butt....in middle school...

Some girls thought they would get together and accuse of him of all manner of awful things...and told him on MSN chat they were gonna do it...just to get in trouble..

The did exactly what they said...I got the call...I was livid..printed out the MSN chat logs took it to the school for the administration to see and the cops (Yah cops were called) needless to say a few little girls were in trouble....

Problem was their parents had no idea...no idea you could record msn chats...all of them...etc.

Keep being the mom...not the friend...they already have enough friends.

I always wonder about this as a school social worker. For my own son, his bio dad pays bills. Wonder if there is another way I can gain access of a print out?

NJ_Slacker

The "boy" telling her he is sad is a manipulation move. Before long he'll be telling her he'll hurt himself if she doesn't keep talking to him. And it will escalate. Nip this in the bud now and educate her about manipulating people that she cannot help or change.

Luckee_me

WOW!!!! You are a good mom!

I have raised 2 girls and one boy. I snooped in everything. I called them out on stuff. OMG i should say we. haha but it was mostly me. My wife was prett passive.

Anyhow, my oldest daughter made it thought, she works a corporate job, and goes to school, and just got her first home. She was over last weekend, with her new boyfriend, and told him what a great dad i was.

My son who is now a Marine has told me how good it was to know he actually had parents and not friends.

My Youngest-- well, she is 16!!! there ya go!

You are a concerned parent, you had taken time out of your day to research her "goins on's" and now you have vital information.

If you DO NOT tell her all you know, and how it makes you feel, the concerns you have, and all that- then you will be fake! No getting around it. You already know, it's too late. Imagine if something happens and you just kept this in. Not good......

No ***** footing around, just talk to her. Be cool, be loving, and tell her your concerns and ask her how she would react if the roles were reveresed.

I'm betting you will be presently suprised and have a better relationship going forward.

oh- and for the "you invaded my privacy" - well, yeah honey = I LOVE YOU!!! of course I follow your steps and look out for you = I AM YOUR MOM, and I LOVE YOU.

good luck to you

All of this!!!

Jazz_2014

Awesome responses, with good parenting skills. I want to add one thing as a grandmother I have/am witnessing presently. My adult children for whatever strange reason think that you can cut off the electronic access to children.
You cannot. There are so many children with their own phones and other devices that internet access is way beyond the control of parents (if the child decides to get access).
So PLEASE communicate with your children. Teach them the red flags of social networking. Because as a parent you truly cannot cut them off.

My granddaughter has all electronic devices removed and has for some time. She is instructed not to use others devices. Early on I put myself on her and her friends pages and such. They have so many friends listed, they don't even remember I am on their page any longer. Trust me, she finds ways to post and message to others all the time. Fake names, posting from others sites, etc.
The key is communication with our children. Unfortunately, my adult children haven't grasped the concept that you cannot control something that you have no control on.